Divination Addiction

[kintsugi_girl]

Admittedly, I have abused our ancient Chinese friend. Asking question after question, muddying the waters. Asking again and again until my brain is sore and I am more confused than ever. My brain is like the Soviet woman at the end of the last (and worst) Indiana Jones movie, the universe has flooded my brain and rendered it incapacitated by weighing it down with every single possibility. You see, I have O.C.D., for which I will soon be treated, but I do not expect a therapist to understand the trust I have in what the I Ching has made clear to me. Like an alcoholic who can't touch a drop of liquor, I am a divination addict who simply should not toy with the idea of tossing the coins. A friend of mine who is a recovering alcoholic and relapsed many times, told me that drinking Sparkling Waters (alongside some divine intervention) was the key to his success after 8 relapses.

My question to you folks, is what is an appropriate behavior I can replace my "need to know" with? Often, I seek out the I Ching in times of anxiety, or suspense, or confusion. Often, I've used it instead of talking to REAL people. I've used it as an excuse not to associate with certain people (once recieving a reading that the person may come up behind and strike me, in one instance). It is not the Yi's fault, but my relationship to it. I want to face my anxieties instead of using/abusing this tool in a way that will stop me from living my life.

Laying my awkward, bizzarre, eccentric behaviors bare before all of you, I ask what you would do in my situation? I suppose, I am a person who needs some sort of stimulus in their meditation. Mindfulness has helped on some levels, but I am someone who needs to ponder. Just not too much...

I hope all of this makes sense. God bless.

edit: Additionally, I apologize if this is posted in the wrong place. Posting it in shared readings didn't seem appropriate?

 

[sooo]

I wouldn't worry about it. If you're anything like me, it's the most objective, intelligent and informative conversation you're likely to find on the planet, so long as you (we) keep it intelligent. Of course others won't always agree with your idea of intelligence.

 

[pocossin]

I ask what you would do in my situation?

Read Poe. Poe is honest with the gruesome aspects of existence. Wednesday my noble cat friend went missing. Cat has advanced cancer, and the vet has told me, "No more surgery." So yesterday I reread "A Descent into the Maelström." Sooner or later it is going off to die alone as cats do, but thirty minutes ago it reappeared in its favorite lurking place. Still has its purr.

 

[moss elk]

"My question to you folks, is what is an appropriate behavior I can replace my "need to know" with?"

Slow deep breathing exercises.
When you feel that twitching anxiety begin, take a slow deep breath in follow by a quick exhalation.
When you exhale, make your body soft, your spine soft.
Repeat.
Soften your gaze, don't focus on any objects around you, focus instead on the sensations in your body.
Feel the tension that 'makes' you need to cast. If you practice this you will begin to notice that You actually can exert infulence on your own self, being a calming influence upon yourself.

I speak from experience.
When I was three years old I developed a nervous habit of counting the corners, windows, and doors in the room. It lasted over thirty years until I learned to master it.

You can do it.

 

[hilary]

First, I really admire you for your self-awareness and resolution and just knowing what the problem is, knowing when to stop, and going in search of a solution.

Meditation or 'sparkling water' equivalent... James Warlock once taught me a way for people with galloping minds. Rather than placing your attention on your breath and keeping it there, you place it on one toe. Then move it to the next toes. Then the sole of your foot, your heel, your ankle, your calf, the back of your knee, thigh, buttocks, lower back, ribs, shoulder muscles, upper arm… and so on, spending just a second or two at each place, becoming aware of how it feels and moving on.

You may want to 'plan' your route round your body first, just so you can go round fluently without stopping to think whether you're going the 'right way'. The route, of course, doesn't matter. I find I have no mind-wandering problems with this.

Also good: gravity. The sensation of weight where you meet the chair or the floor. That's a very quick way to move awareness. (If your awareness will stay 'moved', of course!)

You could give yourself, say, six months without the I Ching - however long you believe it will take to unwire the obsessive reflex and replace the habit. Then you might ask something like, 'What would readings give me?' to decide whether to restart.

(The difference between divination addiction and alcoholism is that there's more than one way of going about divination: it certainly can be a way of getting trapped in a neurotic/obsessive loop and missing out on real life, but it can also be a way of being more in touch with and involved in real life, more connected with people, and so on. Two completely different things you can do with one oracle.)

 

[Wayne59]

My name is Lu, I'm a recovering divination addict

I completely recognise what you are describing. It's probably the main reason I stopped using the I Ching about 20 years ago. I started again recently and found myself occasionally slipping towards that neurotic, intense experience. Like you, I've been practising mindfulness & meditation for some time, so I was more aware of what was going on. I decided to 'ration' myself to one main session per week, and to spend more time exploring its meaning & rolling it over in my mind - although I still pick it up occasionally at other times when something important comes up.

Not sure if this helps, but what I'd suggest is either putting the I Ching aside for a while, as one option advised above, or stop asking specific questions for a while. Approach it, maybe once a week, in a completely open, contemplative manner - as described in Hilary's translation - 'opening yourself to whatever the universe has to tell you in this moment' (and keep it to one reading that you meditate on at length, and in depth). I think the I Ching is mysteriously both our own innate wisdom and also in some sense 'other'. Maybe open readings can help in hearing/listening to the voice of this higher source of wisdom, rather than projecting our own neurotic voices with specific questions.

I think all the relaxation/mindfulness exercises recommended above are also useful in helping to settle the mind & body before reading - and as I'm sure you know, mindfulness is not about emptying your mind, but being compassionately aware of what is going on - it's like you let your neuroses sit in with you while you're meditating and listening to what the I Ching has to say to you, but you don't let them take over. Best of luck

 

[Pure Water]

I, too, have misused the I Ching during times of more severe mental illness and yet there have also been times when it directed me during very stressful times to make good choices, usually not to act out. I have some trouble with OCD and consulting the I Ching is a strong trigger for it. During the times when I have reacted compulsively by over consulting I usually am so lost as to what the truth is that I stop consulting, sometimes for years at a time. More of my time over the last 20 years has been spent studying Buddhism, Western Culture (with its strong pull towards addiction), 12 Step recovery philosophies along with being creative with writing, music and art. For my mental illnesses I have tried therapy, support groups, medication, art therapy, and the study and practice of a spiritual path which is a mixture of elements of Christianity, Taoism and Buddhism.

Whatever you use as a compulsive/addictive crutch be it the I Ching, eating, work, sex, etc... is a signal to stop and become more aware. Journaling through writing, audio recording or video recording is a great way to become more aware. Journaling trains you in the spiritual practice of being rigorously honest with yourself. This raises both your awareness and your submerged ability to use your intuition. Intuition usually leads us towards health instead of illness. If what you come up with is non-harming towards yourself and others, then go for it. We are very creative animals who go in all kinds of directions both healthy and unhealthy. Train towards health and you will be fine. May God bless you with lots of intuition and the ability to go with the flow.

 

[fourthcorner]

I completely related to this post. I can get really obsessive with i ching readings. For me, I try to remember that the i ching is just a mirror of my state of mind in asking the question. So if I'm asking a question a minute, the answers will be equally transient. If I'm stuck in my head, then the i ching's answers are invariably about me and my state of mind rather than the world around me. If I ask questions with a lot of anxiety, then the i ching is going to talk to me about my anxiety.
On the other hand, when I am in a peaceful, meditative state of mind, where I'm not stuck in over-thinking or pre-judging, then I can trust the i ching to give me a profound and lasting answer that reflects not just me, but my world and circumstances as well. At those times, I have so much equilibrium, that I only want one answer anyway and I process it for a long time before reaching conclusions about what it means.
Sometimes I'm so obsessed with an issue that I just see it coming that I'm going to ask the i ching a thousand questions. I just let myself do it and I think of it more like a light dialogue than an oracle.
The i ching is just a reflective pool; there's nothing wrong with using it in choppy waters, but the real benefit comes from using it with crystal clear equanimity.
I try to think of the i ching like a wise friend. It's answers are never going to be dramatic, or urgent, or harsh, or dire. It's there to promote personal growth and progress. It's always friendly.

 

[sooo]

I think there's a big difference between asking Yi for approval, or even for permission (which I see a lot of here, and which I once had the habit of doing) and asking it for understanding. For a hopelessly curious individual, there is a lot to want to understand.

If you're caught in a loop, yes, then that recycling obsession needs to be halted. But using this as a general rule is, I think, stifling.

I have not found the Yi's answers to be always friendly, but always honest, sometimes brutally so; and often like h25, unexpected.

Lastly, life has seasons, and the degree to which one corresponds with the Yi is naturally linked to the season of their life and the personal growth and maturity of understanding which should deepen with age. Often it is the opposite: the older someone gets, the less curious and more inert their mind becomes. Genuine exercise through the IC ought to help keep the mind limber and creative. It's great for the creative libido. When one is young, that curiosity and vitality should be there with minimal stimulus.

If you'd rather count your toes, I suppose you can do that if that satisfies your mind.

 

[innertruth]

What can help: when you get another round of compulsive thoughts running through your head. Sit, literally breath deeper and think about how could you assemble the main theme of your thoughts. What is the root of worries? Pick that MAIN question, disengage, just feel empty for a while, like someone else is asking for you and you don't care about the result of casting. Then throw.
after you get response -think, read, get to know it well, and dont forget about 1st intuitive interpretation of your own, or associations you get when you see the name of hexagram or read its lines.
focus on this reading and track it even for fun. Take it seriously though. Because you were looking for help and Yi gave you answer.

 

[sooo]

Why not ask the Yi about it? I'm sure it knows the appropriate limitation.