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does this mean I screwed up? 41.1,5 > 59

asci_blue

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hello new friends, I'm an amature practitioner of the Yi and tend to do it only in times of need aka serious insecurity. I currently have an interest who lives out of state but in an area to which I'll be moving, this was planned before I found said interest. When we were chatting tonight I think I said something which caused the ever proverbial door to be slammed in my face. I'm male, she is female.

My question is phrased "What is the current state of my relationship with X?"

I used the three coin method and recieved 41 changing lines 1 and 5 to 59. I also did some searching on here which said that 41.1 is a good friend and 41.5 is a friend we should all have. I also notice in Master Alfred Huang's book line 1 is 'male' and line 5 is 'female.' From what I know of this lovely lady line 5 seems to describe her personality pretty well. Likewise 1 (once someone gets to know me) describes my personality pretty well.

What does all of this mean, I'm about ready to beat my face against a wall.
 
B

bruce_g

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Hi Asciblue,

From here it looks like Yi is saying, don’t beat your face against a wall.

Line 1: Reflect on the balance between you on what you give and what you take. Asking of her more than she is prepared to give may have an effect on the door which slams.

Line 5: Lessen your faults and your truth will grow by itself. Nothing can prevent it.

I’d take three steps back and access my approach. From here it looks as though you may have been too forward or assuming for her comfort.
 

asci_blue

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I agree with your assessment. I guess as long as the screw up is relativly minor it's not such a bad thing.
 
J

jesed

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Hi Asci_blue

Just in case the comment could be useful

Many people are misleaded by hexagrams 41 and 42... they think 41 is bad and 42 is good. But in Yi's point of view. 41 leads to increase (you are in the lower situation... from here only increase could come... you cann't fall lower) and 42 leads to decrease (you are in the highest situation... from here only decrease could come... you cann' ascend higher)

So, in 41.. it is the "lower" posibility for the relationship, but you can expect to ascend to better. If this relation is good now... it would be better.

This time started between March 17 and April 30, 2006... and will last until September 16, 2006

During this time, it would be useful to containt your "lower" impulses to allow your "higher" impulses born and develop

Line 1 was in the past (March 17 to April 16 ).. in that time, you needed to examinate the balance and equality in the relation: who gives, who takes... and the equality in the interchange

Line 5 is in the present (July 17 to August 16) This is the time of happiness, and blessing for the relation. You don't need the oracle to know this. Very good fortune

In line 6 (From August 17, to Septemeber 16) you need to work in order that the blessings of the relation be distributed with equality, without selfinesh and egoism. If you achieve that, the relation is very well prospected for the future

Hexagram 59 advices you to try to disolve any egoism and selfinesh, to achieve a good reunion.

Now, this is the picture of the relation as a whole. You can find useful to ask 2 more questions, baring in mind the previous answer:
a) Qualificcation of my position within the relation
b) Qualification of her position within the relation

That would give you the picture about what you want and need in the relation, as well as what she want and need in the relation. So, you can see if both of you are following individual path that can be armonized in a relationship or have diferents ways.

Best wishes
 

asci_blue

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How do you define 'lower' and 'higher' impulses? Also the relation as of now in my opinion (which can be incorrect as it was late at night, she's an early riser, I wasn't at 100%, etc, etc, etc) not as good as it was lets say the previous night or even 15 mins prior to her taking off.

In this case would a 41 say in effect as long as you're not a total bonehead things will get better by doing A and B and will turn out as 59? I do know that things can change in the blink of an eye but being able to stear them in a direction is also possible if I'm not mistaken. I will go ahead and use the other two questions and do a consultation now.

What exactly is meant by 'qualification of position in the relation?" is this to determine if it's just friends or can be more?
 
J

jesed

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Hi

When you are into a relation (any kind of relation..sentimental, friendship, business, job, guvernamental.. etc).. you can define the picture of the relation as a whole (let's say.. the dinamic of the conjuction).. but you also can define the picture of one of the elements (where the element is, and how is moving)
This last one, the picture of the element... is the qualification of the position... it can show if the subject wants to leave... or wants to get closer... or has distrust.. or is high confident in the other..etc.

Now, the answer you got is not narrowed to last night... the relation is under a cosmologic time of Diminishig, a time during 180 days.

Best wishes
 

asci_blue

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jased, assuming I did this properly using qualification of my position and her position in the relationship..I couldn't figure out if there was supposed to be a what is the qualification or if the qualification part was the beignning of the question.. Either way I got:

My position: 26.1, 3 > 52
Her position: 24.2, 5 > 60

Is this question supposed to be similar to what is her position and what is my position? If so I'm not sure how to take that 60 since both sets of changing lines seem to be relativly favorable.
 
J

jesed

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Hi asci_blue

Just a quick comment, in case it could be useufl

You and her are moving in diferent directions... like you are in a rush, and she wants to develop step-by-step...

This seems to be a situation like she is asking you: "slow down; I need to do an inner examination first to decide what could be your place in my life"

(maybe this is an oportunity for her to return to have romantic relation after some time of loneliness... so, she requieres some time and confidence to take that step)


Now... this is not at all a "bad" answer; neither a "bad" situation. You would like to move faster..she needs some time and step-by-step seduction.. If you can achieve stillness and containt the impulse to move faster, very good fortune is prospected for this relation.

Best wishes
 

asci_blue

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I shall become the unmoving mountain. Patience is a virtue that I apparently have an immense amount of (so my friends say), but I sure could have fooled myself. I also see I'm falling into my own worst trap after saying that we should be friends before getting into anything more serious. Guess it's time to go back to being witty and funny.

I had this thought after I'd gotten some sleep that maybe things had gone a bit too quickly to where they shouldn't be going, mainly leaving out the friends before lovers step.

Thanks for the insight. :D
 
B

bruce_g

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I've read somewhere that women like witty and funny. :confused:

Guys are often like Jekyll and Hyde. One minute we’re laughing or dancing or having fun with our date, and as soon as we’re alone with them we become like needy and groping idiots. 41 needed, for sure!

Ah well, better too much than not enough, I suppose.
 

asci_blue

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I've spent the last year researching what women want, how they want it, etc. Done some field testing as well and found what worked for me which of course I recommend to all as long as they can get it in their personality. Late at night I find I tend to get needy and crap, which means I should probably cut talking off at 11 so I can get to bed.
 

asci_blue

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Since it's been a few days I decided I'd post with an update on the situation. It seems to have returned to normal, lots of teasing and flirting. Guess taking a step back and following one of my comments to her was the best idea and what the i ching advised.
 

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