Experiences w Hex 38.4 (reconciliation or moving on?)

[Surfergirl]

Is 38.4 reconciling or moving on? I’m having a hard time interpreting this.

Because I see it in two ways:
opposition decreasing I.e alone right now but eventually reconciled >> joining w trust.

But Also it can be you’re alone right now, you will eventually meet someone new , while in this place.

my question was: will we reconcile. (Really I specifically asked: reconciliation with J?

opposed alone: makes sense as we broke up two weeks ago. We were in divergent places and couldn’t find a place a solution. We went no contact.

 

[Liselle]

I agree that's confusing; I wouldn't know what to make of it, either.

Maybe the aloneness itself will produce the result, either bring you back together or make you realize you don't miss the relationship? Maybe if you don't know yet it's because it's not done working itself out? (Am guessing quite wildly, bear in mind.)

 

[breakmov]

Surfergirl said:​

my question was: will we reconcile. (Really I specifically asked: reconciliation with J?

38.4>41:
"putting your differences aside, is there something deeper that the two of you find value and, united with simplicity and truth, just love to share?"

...perhaps the answer lies in weighing these "differences", and intuiting whether they represent something that can converge to something more fundamental and true that unites you both?

Bradford Hatcher:

38.4, 9 4th, Zhi Gua 41: Sun, Decreasing
(Fan Yao 41.4: decreasing sufferings, take charge, expedite)
Estranged and alone
Meeting someone unique
Exchanging confidences
The distress
Is no longer wrong
38.4x Exchanging confidences, nothing (is) wrong:
The aims (are) carried out

breakmov

 

[rosada]

38. is about people whose lives are on very different tracks yet they can harmonize if they are sensitive to each other and look to find those areas where they do agree. I see 38.4 as describing what would need to happen for there to be a reconciliation and that is, you would need to feel you can be with him and still be true to yourself.

 

[Surfergirl]

Thank you all so much! Lísselle beautifully expressed, truly your words were so impactful . Rosada and Breakmov, appreciate your wisdom they gave me a lot to think about .

As a follow up about an hour ago he reached out via txt. I haven’t yet responded because I don’t yet know how. I don’t consider it a reconciliation, just a breaking of the no contact. And since I asked about reconciliation I don’t know that 38.4 is referring to this. But perhaps it is.
I asked a week ago how events will transpire and I received 38.1.4.5 … so return of lost horse, estranged alone and ancestor bites through.
Ty all so much. I’ll keep you updated.

 

[rosada]

A few more thoughts..
Thinking about how the previous hexagram 37. Family leads to 38. Opposition the hexagram made up of fire above and lake below. Fire and Water don't mix well - so from there we think of the Family leading to having children, daughters, who share a lot in common but ultimately they are in opposition to each other because they will marry different men and thus their destinies will take them down different paths. Therefore the image advises this is a situation where "amid all fellowship the superior man retains his individuality" (Wilhelm)

Looking at the individual lines this hexagram seems to be offering guidance for how to maintain your individuality:

38.1 Remorse disappears, if you lose your horse do not run after it. It will come back of it's own accord.
That seems to fit what you've already experienced. You stopped communicating for awhile. You did not run after him and without a lot of debate or explanation he came back of his own accord. - Sounds like the sort of thing that happens between siblings - separating because you don't agree on everything, but then you gotta come back, we're family!

38.2 One meets his lord in a narrow street, no blame.
You didn't get this line but I thought it worth including just for the sake of understanding the total hexagram.
This line acknowledges the part of the process where one can step outside of their usual roles - meet outside of the Family roles - and hopefully speak more honestly about how they really see things. Like, "You may be my older sister or the boss or the boyfriend I feel obligated to agree with while at home or on the job or on a date, but this this is how I really feel."

38.3 One sees the dragon dragged back etc. not a good beginning but a good end.
(You didn't get this line either but it's worth reading.)So then the inevitable misunderstandings that come when two opposing perspectives are forced to meet. Harsh at first but keep talking and things will work out.

38.4 Here is the line you got encouraging that you could associate with this man and get to see things from his perspective without losing your own. I think when you understand the previous lines in this hexagram you see this is really a very positive line and advice for being able to get to know someone without over committing.

38.5 Remorse disappears. The companion bites through the wrappings. If one goes to him how could this be a mistake? Wow! A terrific omen for responding positively to his having made an effort to reach out to you.

38.6 Isolated through opposition...he will woo when the time comes.
This seems to say that you can't force things to progress faster but it all works out.
You didn't get this line either, but it's also worth reading as it gives a clue as to how these situations evolve. Like you were not communicating, you were isolated but if you just keep talking, getting to know each other, respecting each others positions, not trying to suppress the others individuality, then if after getting to know your areas of agreement and disagreement it does appear a closer friendship is desirable he will "woo when the time is right."

Interesting the lines you did get lead to hexagram 3. as in 38.1.4.5>3. Difficulty in The Beginning, another suggestion that it's a little premature to be trying to determine exactly what this friendship could ultimately be.
Keep talking!

 

[moss elk]

Is 38.4 reconciling or moving on?

moving on.
(Given the context of your situation)

you’re alone right now, you will eventually meet someone new

This.

, while in this place.

Nothing in the reading about that,
Unless you are planning to stay There for some time. In which case, it means yes.
If you are planning on leaving, it would be elsewhere. These things can be logically deduced.

The line does not refer to that person.
There is nothing in the line about reconciliation. It was addressing *you* & your predicament. (Feeling alone)
There are several lines that talk about reconciling or return or togetherness after conflict....etc
38.4 is not one of them.

 

[Surfergirl]

Onl

A few more thoughts..
Thinking about how the previous hexagram 37. Family leads to 38. Opposition the hexagram made up of fire above and lake below. Fire and Water don't mix well - so from there we think of the Family leading to having children, daughters, who share a lot in common but ultimately they are in opposition to each other because they will marry different men and thus their destinies will take them down different paths. Therefore the image advises this is a situation where "amid all fellowship the superior man retains his individuality" (Wilhelm)

Looking at the individual lines this hexagram seems to be offering guidance for how to maintain your individuality:

38.1 Remorse disappears, if you lose your horse do not run after it. It will come back of it's own accord.
That seems to fit what you've already experienced. You stopped communicating for awhile. You did not run after him and without a lot of debate or explanation he came back of his own accord. - Sounds like the sort of thing that happens between siblings - separating because you don't agree on everything, but then you gotta come back, we're family!

38.2 One meets his lord in a narrow street, no blame.
You didn't get this line but I thought it worth including just for the sake of understanding the total hexagram.
This line acknowledges the part of the process where one can step outside of their usual roles - meet outside of the Family roles - and hopefully speak more honestly about how they really see things. Like, "You may be my older sister or the boss or the boyfriend I feel obligated to agree with while at home or on the job or on a date, but this this is how I really feel."

38.3 One sees the dragon dragged back etc. not a good beginning but a good end.
(You didn't get this line either but it's worth reading.)So then the inevitable misunderstandings that come when two opposing perspectives are forced to meet. Harsh at first but keep talking and things will work out.

38.4 Here is the line you got encouraging that you could associate with this man and get to see things from his perspective without losing your own. I think when you understand the previous lines in this hexagram you see this is really a very positive line and advice for being able to get to know someone without over committing.

38.5 Remorse disappears. The companion bites through the wrappings. If one goes to him how could this be a mistake? Wow! A terrific omen for responding positively to his having made an effort to reach out to you.

38.6 Isolated through opposition...he will woo when the time comes.
This seems to say that you can't force things to progress faster but it all works out.
You didn't get this line either, but it's also worth reading as it gives a clue as to how these situations evolve. Like you were not communicating, you were isolated but if you just keep talking, getting to know each other, respecting each others positions, not trying to suppress the others individuality, then if after getting to know your areas of agreement and disagreement it does appear a closer friendship is desirable he will "woo when the time is right."

Interesting the lines you did get lead to hexagram 3. as in 38.1.4.5>3. Difficulty in The Beginning, another suggestion that it's a little premature to be trying to determine exactly what this friendship could ultimately be.
Keep talking!

thank you so much Rosada for such a beautifully detailed response. And I think you’re right. I did end up calling him back instead of txting. We talked for a few hours and it felt amazing. He is definitely a kindred spirit. But interestingly when I got off the phone, I didn’t feel the need to grip. Somehow through connecting I let everything go. Perhaps I’m in the hex 3 place now? Or maybe 38 line 5? I don’t know what will happen. I do still care, I do want it to work, and I’m perfectly ok if it doesn’t.

another interesting turn of events. The next day, a very good friend who ID lost touch with reached out. He and I started dating 2 years ago and were very well paired but he didn’t want a family and I do— so deal breaker. We transitioned really beautifully to friendship as we both surf and Rockclimb and basically just really enjoy one another’s company . When I met J, he met someone else at the same time and our friendship naturally made space for our new partners. We’ve been out of touch for the better part of a year. He literally broke up with his gf the same day I did w J unbeknownst to either of us, and reached out. So maybe he’s 38.4? He’s def a kindred spirit and it feels good to go through the sadness of endings w, who’s in the same place.

 

[Surfergirl]

Onl

A few more thoughts..
Thinking about how the previous hexagram 37. Family leads to 38. Opposition the hexagram made up of fire above and lake below. Fire and Water don't mix well - so from there we think of the Family leading to having children, daughters, who share a lot in common but ultimately they are in opposition to each other because they will marry different men and thus their destinies will take them down different paths. Therefore the image advises this is a situation where "amid all fellowship the superior man retains his individuality" (Wilhelm)

Looking at the individual lines this hexagram seems to be offering guidance for how to maintain your individuality:

38.1 Remorse disappears, if you lose your horse do not run after it. It will come back of it's own accord.
That seems to fit what you've already experienced. You stopped communicating for awhile. You did not run after him and without a lot of debate or explanation he came back of his own accord. - Sounds like the sort of thing that happens between siblings - separating because you don't agree on everything, but then you gotta come back, we're family!

38.2 One meets his lord in a narrow street, no blame.
You didn't get this line but I thought it worth including just for the sake of understanding the total hexagram.
This line acknowledges the part of the process where one can step outside of their usual roles - meet outside of the Family roles - and hopefully speak more honestly about how they really see things. Like, "You may be my older sister or the boss or the boyfriend I feel obligated to agree with while at home or on the job or on a date, but this this is how I really feel."

38.3 One sees the dragon dragged back etc. not a good beginning but a good end.
(You didn't get this line either but it's worth reading.)So then the inevitable misunderstandings that come when two opposing perspectives are forced to meet. Harsh at first but keep talking and things will work out.

38.4 Here is the line you got encouraging that you could associate with this man and get to see things from his perspective without losing your own. I think when you understand the previous lines in this hexagram you see this is really a very positive line and advice for being able to get to know someone without over committing.

38.5 Remorse disappears. The companion bites through the wrappings. If one goes to him how could this be a mistake? Wow! A terrific omen for responding positively to his having made an effort to reach out to you.

38.6 Isolated through opposition...he will woo when the time comes.
This seems to say that you can't force things to progress faster but it all works out.
You didn't get this line either, but it's also worth reading as it gives a clue as to how these situations evolve. Like you were not communicating, you were isolated but if you just keep talking, getting to know each other, respecting each others positions, not trying to suppress the others individuality, then if after getting to know your areas of agreement and disagreement it does appear a closer friendship is desirable he will "woo when the time is right."

Interesting the lines you did get lead to hexagram 3. as in 38.1.4.5>3. Difficulty in The Beginning, another suggestion that it's a little premature to be trying to determine exactly what this friendship could ultimately be.
Keep talking!

thank you so much Rosada for such a beautifully detailed response. And I think you’re right. I did end up calling him back instead of txting. We talked for a few hours and it felt amazing. He is definitely a kindred spirit. But interestingly when I got off the phone, I didn’t feel the need to grip. Somehow through connecting I let everything go. Perhaps I’m in the hex 3 place now? Or maybe 38 line 5? I don’t know what will happen. I do still care, I do want it to work, and I’m perfectly ok if it doesn’t.

another interesting turn of events. The next day, a very good friend who ID lost touch with reached out. He and I started dating 2 years ago and were very well paired but he didn’t want a family and I do— so deal breaker. We transitioned really beautifully to friendship as we both surf and Rockclimb and basically just really enjoy one another’s company . When I met J, he met someone else at the same time and our friendship naturally made space for our new partners. We’ve been out of touch for the better part of a year. He literally broke up with his gf the same day I did w J unbeknownst to either of us, and reached out. So maybe he’s 38.4? He’s def a kindred spirit and it feels good to go through the sadness of endings w, who’s in the same place.

 

[rosada]

Amazing! Thanks so much for the update!

 

[moss elk]

So maybe he’s 38.4?

Bingo

 

[Surfergirl]

let me have my hope it’ll magically work out. Haha