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edge

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Hi there,
I've been trying to cope with my challenging relationship for a while now, and after getting a bit freaked out about how things would progress (as those of you who were kind enough to look at my last post will know), and feeling simply exhausted and miserable about the situation, I decided to try Jesed's diagnostic questions. I'm at the point where I don't know whether to give up completely, let it go and move on, try to be friends with the possibility of it being more practically possible to make it work in the future, or just stay with it and not expect anything much right now. He's under enormous pressure, and trying to cope with lots of stuff changing, and I've been being supportive and trying not to ask too much. He's been struggling to find any time to spend with me at all, and I've asked him to try and make some space, which he has promised to do. I just don't know if he can and right now I don't know if its healthy for me to wait, or if I'm strong enough...
It would be great if anyone has any thoughts:

General diagnosis of the relationship between x and me: 10:2 to 25
from huang "this gua expounds upon the principle of ..fulfilling ones duty in a difficult situation" . Is 10 about taking precautions? Not treading on the tiger's tail seems to be about mitigating a dangerous situation, but I'm not quite sure how. In Huang, 10.2 seems to be about being a recluse, stepping away from the world and the difficulty. Hmmm, and 25, all about honesty and truthfulness?

My position to the relationship with x: 23:6 to 2
I'm not sure if this is saying I should let go or that things are transforming and will eventually move into a new phase, so I should do nothing and wait...

His position to the relationship: 29:3,5 to 46
Well he's definitely in the midst of the abyss right now, and I imagine can't see a way out, 29:3 seems to indicate that there is nothing he can do right now, but 29:5 seems more hopeful of release. The image of growth and pushing upward in 46 does seem to indicate hopeful progression and being able to get stronger and more stable though.

What is the best thing for me to do right now regarding x? 48:3,6 to 59
48:3,6 - things aren't working right now, but the well isn't going anywhere and can be drunk from in the future? 59, dispersing: let go of it (again) or wait for the tension to release, the ice to melt?

I'm not sure if I'm too close to this to be able to interpret effectively, which is suppose is also the way my emotions feel right now, I'm really stuck as to what to do. Previously my instinct was always to stay with it, but right now I'm not sure at all of the best way to go. All I know is that to let him go will be painful, and being here isn't much fun either!!
Thanks in advance for any thoughts...
E
 

edge

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Any thoughts would be exceedingly welcome! I've read through Huang, Blofeld, Lise, Bradford, and all the relevant memorising threads and my brain is starting to melt...
Keep thinking about the Clash song 'should I stay or should I go', and right now I don't have the answer...oh dear...
 

Trojina

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Any thoughts would be exceedingly welcome! I've read through Huang, Blofeld, Lise, Bradford, and all the relevant memorising threads and my brain is starting to melt...
Keep thinking about the Clash song 'should I stay or should I go', and right now I don't have the answer...oh dear...
Edge i began writing an answer last night...then stopped...so I'll try to putin a nutshell what i was trying to say last night...

To be honest the reason i stopped was my perception of both what you say and the readings made me feel this was something that you are already losing ...and that its possible you both know that deep down but can't quite admit it to yourselves ? So my perception was/is pretty heavily weighted towards letting this go. Having said that I have more and more doubts as time goes by about the wisdom of trying to help someone whose circumstances i don't really know via I Ching readings. Having said that I think you are intelligent enough to realise what i say is only based upon my subjective perception of both what you say and have said about the situation and the readings you're sharing here.

Without the Yi I'd say in general when someone finds many obstacles to be together...its really hard becasue on one level we can can say 'oh yes thats a genuine reason' and it may be...but theres a limit...and this sounds like its a real struggle on your part..and his. When this has happened to me its actually been the beginning of the end...and you know i think its a painful way to end things

I'm afraid your answers confirm my own perceptions. 10.2 simply shows someone simply going their way alone. I don't know how to relate that to the question (i don't really understand the question..whats meant by 'diagnose' here ?) but it does show someone going their way alone and finding peace in that

your position 23.6... well its like you have a choice of either being moved on as a passive 'victim' of the deterioration of this relationship..or you take a part in it and get come out of it a bit better. You can't just coast along with how things are with this answer...that would be as I think Karcher says 'decorating your house when you need to move house' or something like that. So something here is totally spent and needs to be moved on from. of course it could mean the old form of the relationship falls apart ...not the actual relationship itself. I really don't know..but where my own bias creeps in is I kinda recognise the situation you speak of...one person always finding some reason they cannot meet etc I have found it signifies the beginning of the end...often neither party wanting to admit they can't make it for some reason. I don't know if that fits or its just my bias..but you ask for thoughts and those are mine

His postion 29.3.5>46 :confused: Trojan runs out of stamina with multiple readings and is already heavily biased that its time for you to go...cos thishas been going on along time and its always you waiting, wondering, hoping...............

Best thing for oyu to do 48.3.6>59...Trojan tries to revive stamina....I'm seeing this as you really are able to let this go Edge. You have the resources 48.3.6, and some say with the lid off in 48.6 others can drain them ! 59 is about change of form. Maybe the relationship if allowed to completely dissolve will find another shape....? But actually its a form unrecognisable to what it is now...maybe just a spiritual connection because 59 dissolves the actual form...water rising in vapour. So I'm not actually seeing this as necessarily continuing an actual relationship....but perhaps still a soul/mental connection, which actually I think if people end well with each other continues to be a source of good feeling, nourishement. I think ending relationships with love is very important. All that was there is still there on some level and though it all seems sad still something precious remains with both of you even though you go your own ways. Maybe thats the 'ripe fruit' in 23.6

Hmmm if you ask 'should i stay or go' and I'm seeing a strong 'go' especially taking into consideration previous threads.....
 
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edge

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Thank you trojan, you may be right, the will is there, but the practicalities are making this impossible, even if just for new. I appreciate your help on this, its not going to be easy either way!!
 

edge

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quick update...having let all of this sink in I've decided to let go of this relationship, and trying to make it work. Its just too difficult in practical terms right now, so I'm open to the possibility of something else happening in the future, but I'm letting it 'disperse' and evaporate, and focusing on my own path for the moment. Will see what happens later in the year! Thanks again Trojan for your thoughts, it all feels much more comfortable now!!
E
 
M

maremaria

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Hi Edge,

Perhaps i'm very very wrong , but given the fact that soon he is coming to live at your town and because that will change the landscape of the relationship and given the previous 4, I was thinking , maybe, all those "let go" on your reading were about don't take any decision right now and just leave thing unfold ? or maybe it talks about your anxiety about the new things will come and don't know what the future bring ?

This was my impression , when i read your first post but I can't be very sure if i am correct.

Maria
 

edge

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Hi maria,
i think you are right, and I haven't closed down on any opportunities or possibilities at all, we are still talking and very much in touch with each other. Its more about not trying to force things to work right now, because they can't under the current circumstances, and I was making myself miserable thinking something had to change now, when there isn't any space at all for anything to be different. So its letting go of the relationship being what I want it to be at the moment and letting it find its own form over time, right now essentially its a very close friendship, because there isn't time or space for it to be anything else. So I haven't done anything dramatic, its more about how I am seeing things in my own head! I really appreciate your thoughts, and I think its right to be open about what might happen in the future.
E
 
M

maremaria

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I have said to myself "don't post at Edge's threads about that relationship because you are not objective !!!"... but i can't help it and keep my mouth sealed :rolleyes::eek:

All your readings, the way I see them are beautiful , caring and supportive.

Take care of your self
:hug:
 

edge

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its funny, you've said exactly what my mother and a couple of close friends have said, and they know a lot more about the situation! I always appreciate your perspective, and its good to look at things in different ways, even when I have no way of knowing what will happen! Will post an update in 6 months time... :)
 

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