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First of three questions

carin

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A good friend of mine has had a job in a school for a long time, but since a year or three she got an other function there, with much more resposibility. I know that she has always been a hard and loyal worker, but this job (obviously to me) asks too much of her. She is tired and very uncertain about her leadership-abilities. Also she is not the person to give up easily. She hates to give up. I advised her to consult the Yi, and she did.
She asked three questions.

First she asked:
What happens, if I let my uncertainties determine, and quit my job?


She got Hex 40.5.6< Hex6

I think she had better not added the "my uncertainties determine", but, well, she did it.
She summarises Hex 40 as "feeling guilty"
and Hex 6 as the interests of the individual compared with the community.
Which seems (to me) in her case to make the burden of "guilt" even heavier.

The second question:
What will happen, if I show my uncertainties, and say:" I still want to go on?"

She got Hex 25.4.5< Hex 27

Hex 25 told her:"You can not keep the problems away"
and 27:" Watch what you eat"

Next week she will have another talk about her function, especially about the co-operation with one person, which is one of the difficult parts of her job, and she asked:
"What about the co-operation with this person?"
and she got: Hex 47.4< Hex 29

Hex 29 told her: "You can not solve problems by wanting to solve them. You must bannish the fear. Deep inside you there is a strong core. Have the courage to be as water: Adapt

The answers do seem appropriate to her, but there is a strong feeling of fear.

Some wise words are needed here, so please give some advise if you can.....

C
 

carin

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Three questions!

I wanted to remove the title, because I put all three questions at once, and not only the first one, but you seem not to be able to change that......:confused:
 

dobro p

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carin said:
First she asked: What happens, if I let my uncertainties determine, and quit my job?

She got Hex 40.5.6< Hex6

I think she had better not added the "my uncertainties determine", but, well, she did it.
She summarises Hex 40 as "feeling guilty"
and Hex 6 as the interests of the individual compared with the community.
Which seems (to me) in her case to make the burden of "guilt" even heavier.

The answers do seem appropriate to her, but there is a strong feeling of fear.
First, the fear. Fear means she's not seeing things clearly. Fear is a negative emotion that clouds judgement and prevents insight. So even if she consults the Yi, the fear will decrease the chances of her seeing anything useful in what the Yi says.

I'd read the first question/answer this way: "The whole idea of getting free of your job is riddled with inner conflict."

Hex 40 has nothing to do with guilt. It's about release from a situation that's been oppressing you or holding you back; which means it's the perfect hexagram for her desire to leave her present job. Hex 6 is about contention or conflict and resorting to a higher authority to arbitrate. I decided to interpret that as an inner conflict in her, but there's always a possibility that the Yi is talking about an outer event in the situation and that her leaving the company will involved some sort of dispute over the terms of her leaving. I opted for 'inner conflict' because that's where she seems to be right now. If that's the case, then what the Yi's saying is just a reflection of her state: she got a lot of inner conflict about leaving the job. In other words, it's not leaving or staying that's important; it's how she's feeling about it. The job's unimportant; her battleground and her issues are all in her own mind and heart. The 'higher authority that arbitrates' in the case of an inner conflict means her resorting to a higher point of view that sees both sides of her and what each side wants, and then deciding between them. Make a list of pros and cons, in other words: what are the advantages of staying and what are the advantages of leaving? Weigh them up. Make a decision. Live with it.
 
B

bruce_g

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Hi Carin,

“What happens, if I let my uncertainties determine, and quit my job? 40.5.6 – 6

I think the Yi is giving an overview, or as Jesed is fond of saying, a general diagnosis, rather than specifically answering her literal question.

First, she must break from the source of the conflict (line 5), rather than be riled up and entangled with this other person or circumstance. She’s probably too emotionally involved to be able to hit the mark (line 6). Not everyone performs best under pressure, and it seems she’s placing more pressure on herself than is necessary. 40 does relate to “feeling guilty”, in that it releases you from it.

If she simply is herself (25), and doesn’t try to fix what isn’t broken (line 4), she’ll be better able to perform: feed the company and be fed by the company (27).

Cooperation with this other person, though dangerous (29), provides the opportunity for both to learn, and to gently release her sense of oppression (47.4).
 

willowfox

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"First she asked:
What happens, if I let my uncertainties determine, and quit my job? She got Hex 40.5.6< Hex6"

Hex 40.5 she must make a determined effort to stop certain people interfering with her job, therefore, if she makes it plain to them, then they should stop.

Hex 40.6 someone in a higher position is causing problems, so she must plan and take action at the right time to remove the problem, then there will be a successful outcome.

Hex 6 she is being obstructed at work, a conflict of interests, she must remain calm and tackle the problem, get her duties clearly defined because her position is unclear. It will require seeing a person in authority who can sort the problem out for her.
Therefore, to quit the job would prove to be a wrong choice, as starting something new or going some other place would prove to be a mistake, stay with this group.

"The second question:
What will happen, if I show my uncertainties, and say:" I still want to go on?"
She got Hex 25.4.5< Hex 27"

Hex 25.4 she must stay with with this job, resist any pressure to leave, as a friend will be there in her time of need.

Hex 25.5 the problem that she now has will soon be resolved and all will be okay, she will be able to fix the problem.

Hex 27 says to persevere, this job provides the nourishment that she needs, job security, salary etc, so she should continue and take care of others, learning to follow and not taking the lead.


""What about the co-operation with this person?"
and she got: Hex 47.4< Hex 29"

Hex 47.4 this person wants to help but is under the control of some else, so this person will be slow to act and hesitant at first but he /she will feel embrassed by their in action and therefore will help her in the end.

Hex 29 lots of problems to be overcome but with a sincere wish to win through, then a solution can be found and a successful outcome achieved, so that she can carry on at the school, thus continuing to provide her with nourishment.
 

carin

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Thanks all.

Maybe I should add, that the job she is asking questions about, is being a part-time school-leader. There is someone else, doing the other part, and this person has more resposibility.
My friend also is a remedial teacher in this school, which is what she has always done, and which she is good at, and she can keep that job, if she quits the other one.
So it's not about quiting the whole thing and not having any salary anymore.
It's about a complexity of things, feelings and facts: "1 Who's in charge, who makes the decisions; 2. I'm afraid to fail ; 3. too much work, that is never finished; 4. feelings of guilt (about failing and possibly quiting)"

I think too that Hex 40 relates to “feeling guilty”, in that it releases you from it, like Bruce says.
There IS a lot of pressure in this particular job. Much is expected from you, and she expects much from her self.
Her other job is more relaxed and does not require this kind of team-work.

I wonder if she could ask another kind of question at this point.
So that "Simply being yourself" might turn out to be more simple than she thinks right now.
 
B

bruce_g

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carin said:
Thanks all.

Maybe I should add, that the job she is asking questions about, is being a part-time school-leader. There is someone else, doing the other part, and this person has more resposibility.
My friend also is a remedial teacher in this school, which is what she has always done, and which she is good at, and she can keep that job, if she quits the other one.
So it's not about quiting the whole thing and not having any salary anymore.
It's about a complexity of things, feelings and facts: "1 Who's in charge, who makes the decisions; 2. I'm afraid to fail ; 3. too much work, that is never finished; 4. feelings of guilt (about failing and possibly quiting)"

I think too that Hex 40 relates to “feeling guilty”, in that it releases you from it, like Bruce says.
There IS a lot of pressure in this particular job. Much is expected from you, and she expects much from her self.
Her other job is more relaxed and does not require this kind of team-work.

I wonder if she could ask another kind of question at this point.
So that "Simply being yourself" might turn out to be more simple than she thinks right now.
Given the nature of her choices, and that of 40, I’m inclined to think she may be better suited for the position with less pressure. But, her reality may be more complicated than simply taking the easy way, i.e. pay scale and her financial needs, etc.

I suggest she makes a clear distinction in her mind, between the two positions: one position as being “assertive” and the other as being “passive”. Then I’d ask, “Which am I better suited for?” It’s also like asking, which is most natural (25) for me?
 

carin

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Thank you!
I will suggest this to her, while we drink a cup of tea this afternoon.

I was thinking, maybe it is also about 'challenge'. People need challenges, and changes. But how far should one go?
 
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bruce_g

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carin said:
Thank you!
I will suggest this to her, while we drink a cup of tea this afternoon.

I was thinking, maybe it is also about 'challenge'. People need challenges, and changes. But how far should one go?
Yes. The easy way may not be the best way for her, but then it may be best at this time. It's usually pretty easy to determine 'assertive vs passive', or 'advance vs retreat', from Yi's answers, as well as to understand things in-between, which can help her to decide a course that's best for her.
 

carin

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Having talked about all this, I saw it happen: the sky certainly was a lot clearer.

". . .as well as to understand things in-between" - is so well said!
Because that's where things are. When you can feel that, you feel like a dog, knowing nothing, but tracing smells and following them.

It is amazing, how things work, when you consult the Yi. Somehow it makes it much easier to talk about issues that would otherwise be heavy and to close on your skin.

I love the Yi!

C
 

carin

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"That's why dogs make good guides."

Fortunately I love dogs!
 
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bruce_g

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You're both very cute. ;)

This instinctive thing you mention, this ferreting out and following the trail, it's such an important factor. There's elements of reason, and also elements of letting go of reason. Like heat from a fire: you can't get warm just by understanding how fire works.
 

carin

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"This instinctive thing you mention, this ferreting out and following the trail, it's such an important factor. There's elements of reason, and also elements of letting go of reason. Like heat from a fire: you can't get warm just by understanding how fire works."

No, you can 't.
Although I can get very warm when I really begin to understand something! But I suppose it's that nose that brought me there.
 

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