Friends Hex 61.3.4>1

[goddessliss]

This thread is relative to a past thread I started http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?20099-Nastiness-Hex-61-gt-22

A couple of months has passed since this incident and although I've been in some contact with the wife I've had nothing to do with the husband nor have a seen him except when they drove past me but he didn't wave hello and I haven't been to their home.

This morning she rang me and invited me to her place for a cuppa, like she used to, saying her husband wasn't home. The subject of the incident hasn't been spoken about between us so I thought I'd bring it up this morning. Turns out (apparently) when we had too much wine I told him he'd been an ass hole in the past which is in sync with the other reading. Line 2 does talk about wine and pouring it all out so perhaps the wine made me speak the truth through course of conversation at that present moment. God forbid!

The thing that annoys me about this is that I'm getting the blame for speaking the truth because he was apparently devastated as he just doesn't see himself that way, which is fine most people live in denial, but seriously are you gonna have a meltdown every time someone tells you something about yourself you don't like.
As you can see on the other thread these people are not backward in coming forward themselves in their verbal judgment of others and they've hurt me a number of times but they would be the first to tell me to 'get over it' if they knew they'd offended me.

I don't wish to take the blame by saying sorry even if I unintentionally offended them.

How can I progress this situation to one of harmony

Hex 61.3.4>1

Funny (or not) Inner Truth again
Line 3 tells me I need to rely on my own truth about this for peace of mind NOT their perception of what went on.
Line 4 A need for me to recognise my self empowerment within and just let everyone have their own perception - right or wrong.

Hex 1 - yep it became and intense incident (unnecessary I feel)

- Liss

 

[goddessliss]

Actually after I wrote this I thought about it further and started to recall what was said and I most definitely didn't call him an ass hole especially because it's not a word I'd use particularly directly to someone.

What I may have said was 'In the past I used to feel intimated by you because you are so confident and don't really care about what others think" which he doesn't and as I've said before has not trouble speaking his mind when it suits him.
I know ranting, but I'm just trying to resolve it from my own perspective and I don't like be accused of something I didn't do and that is a very long standing issue for me.
- Liss

 

[goddessliss]

This morning I asked What is the best attitude for me to take to this whole (ridiculous) situation

Hex 18.2>52

Going through the archives I found this by Meng

As I interpret it, a child that's spoiled by the mother generally implies a lack of personal discipline: the proverbial spoiled brat or mamma's boy. The result is an adult with a big sense of entitlement, and sometimes a major control freak when they don't get their way. So dealing with them or that part of ourselves in a candid and forward manner isn't typically effective.

So, while ideally it should be corrected, it's not an easy trait to correct once it becomes firmly ingrained, but it can be done if the individual wants to change and become more adaptive.

and I have to say this is exactly what I think - that the guy (55 years old) is just chucking a tantrum, has that sense of entitlement that life's all about him and chucks a tantrum such as this when he doesn't get his own way.
I know he won't change because he has a wife that panders to him to keep the peace.
So all in all this reading says to me don't do anything particularly don't try and console anyone.

- Liss