Future Possibilities.

[kincadefoster]

A few months back, me and this girl went on a few dates, we made out, nothing serious. Then I saw her at a place we hang out(pub), with and kissing another dude. I got mad, cut her off and called her a wh*** (not my best moment, and didn't talk to her for a few weeks.

Then, I apologized for getting so angry and for calling her that(but not for demanding respect which I have a right) and explained that it wasn't cool for me to see someone I like and know likes me kissing another person. So she apologized and we sort of kept in touch.

A few months later she txted me to have a drink w her, we hung out a little while and finally had sex. We hung out a few times after that.
I really liked her, but she said she just wanted to be casual, but that she only would have sex with me and not other guys she hangs. I was cool with that, sometimes relationships start out more open. Also, I understand as her last boyfriend was abusive....

When I was out at the pub we hang at sometimes, I saw her again. She said the guy she was with was just a friend and kept coming over and talking to me and hugged me a couple times. I have been cheated on by two women in my life and so have a strong gut instinct for that, I just know when something is going on and my feelings were that nothing was really happening between them. I even heard her tell him we had a thing,

However, later on she kissed him in front of me. I realize it was just a kiss, but to me that's uncool and I flipped my sh** on her a little bit(not in front of the guy) and left. Right now, she is cut off. Seeing other people is fine since we're not serious, but this was a respect thing, doing it right in front of me

My impression is that she is used to "yes men" in her life and the main reason she did this was that she is used to getting away with a little bad behavior here and there, so I thought, maybe she can learn a lesson here and I asked "Is there anything there for a future possible realtionship between us?" 37.3.6 > 3

And no, I will no longer tolerate bad behavior from her.

 

[ginnie]

37 to 3 seems to be saying that you'll need to be strict and express yourself about her bad behavior. This girl really seems to have some bad habits!

 

[mirian]

Totally agree. In answer to your question "Is there anything there for a future possible relationship between us?" 37.3.6 > 3 if this is to happen you have to make it clear what is acceptable, what is not. Your hexagram and lines are a lot about behaviour within a group of people, making it clear roles and responsibilities. So, if you guys become an item, and there is an understanding that this is not an open relationship, she has to stick to it (and so have you). So, you should make it all clear, both in attitude and words. :bows:

 

[kincadefoster]

Well at this point it's up to her to reinitiate. If I've already been through the this is unacceptable behavior conversation then this time she needs a consequence in order to not do it again. That consequence may mean losing me.

I have no problem being exclusive, personally. I've tried all the other methods, multiple dating and FWB and stuff and personally I think exclusivity, but not necessarily being serious or committed is the only way to really know someone and the other methods are really designed to keep people from investing enough to get hurt but people get hurt anyway, so what's the point?

 

[kincadefoster]

She messaged me "are you still mad?" "you want to talk?" I wasn't sure how I felt about talking to her just yet, so I took a nap and now I have asked "best course of action in timing to initiate talk?" 42.1 > 20