Give up current career path, or persist after regrouping? Hexagram 3.3,6>37

[folledeschiele]

Hello all! I find myself at a tough professional crossroads. Last year, I finished my PhD from a top university, which I always (naively) assumed would make it less difficult to find an academic position (I work in literature, that extremely pragmatic discipline). ;-)

Well, I was dead-wrong. I've spent a year applying for dozens of posts, have had two interviews, but no job as of yet outside of poorly paid, sporadic hourly-paid teaching. Luckily, I have a freelance writing and editing business that actually pays most of the bills.

Not surprisingly, this has been a hair-raising and confidence-destroying process. I'm constantly anxious and often depressed and tearful, feel like a failure. And I know that academia is a career path with fewer and fewer jobs to offer the legions of starry-eyed, freshly minted PhDs.

So I'm thinking about throwing in the towel. The problem is, my heart's not yet convinced this is the right thing to do. I think that perhaps I should persist, since I have two publications in good journals coming out, a supportive advisor and partner, etc. So I drew the YI asking, "Should I cut my losses, or persist through the difficulties, perhaps by changing my frame of mind and my way of going about this?"

I got 3, Difficulty at the Beginning, changing at lines 3 and 6 to 37, the Family.

At first, I thought the main hexagram suggested that I should persist, since it counsels not going off on another path but cultivating the current one until it breaks through after difficulty and strain. But the two changing lines suggest humiliation if I continue, and line 6 speaks to my sense of despair and no longer being able to do anything, I've gotten so down about all this and lost some of the passion driving my research. As for 37? Well, I'm happily engaged, and my dream these days is to find some financial stability, put down roots, take refuge in my chosen family. Of course, I still want a career that allows me to do research and explore my interests and passions...but perhaps not at the cost of this anxiety, depression, and sense of failure.

Does anyone have any insight? I'm not sure whether to interpret this as saying "Give up the ghost-- you've reached your limits" or "It's time to step back, not make any moves, and try to start this effort from scratch after assessing what's working for you and what's not."

Any insight would be much appreciated-- thank you!

:bows:

 

[canislulu]

So I drew the YI asking, "Should I cut my losses, or persist through the difficulties, perhaps by changing my frame of mind and my way of going about this?"

What I see is that you did the "two in one" question technique and I get it that you were really simply asking, "What now?". As an answer I would say that 3.3.6 > 37 sounds closer to

persist through the difficulties, perhaps by changing my frame of mind and my way of going about this

than to the first query within a question.

And perhaps there are more than two possibilities for the answer. Perhaps you need neither "give up the ghost" or "start from scratch". What does your fiance want you to do?

What are your thoughts about the relating figure, Hexagram 37 which suggests "Harvest in a woman's constancy" and that the noble one's" words be substantial and actions be consistent?"

 

[folledeschiele]

Thank you for your generous reply, jumpingmouse. I think part of my problem is that I feel overwhelmed with frustration and fatigue, and can't see any way through this dilemma at the moment. Perhaps that's line 3.6, with the blood and tears. I just know that I'm financially struggling in ways that shock me since I have an advanced degree from a world-renowned school, and chasing after an academic job is starting to really feel like diminishing returns. I don't want to throw out the baby with the bath water too hastily, especially because I have a track record of quitting other career paths when things get too tough or I fail to reach that next level immediately. But I also can't continue feeling so anxious and depressed all the time, not to mention financially strained. So...hmm.

As for what I think 37 means, I think it may point to a shift in my values away from things like career success at all costs, to building a home and family and the emotional satisfaction that brings. But that also requires stability and constancy, as you alluded to. One that I feel I'm having a hard time cultivating when under such emotional and financial stress. :-(

 

[loverofknowledge]

foliedeschiele,

3.3 : you'll be lost until you find a source of guidance (the forester) before entering the forest. Your old map and navigational system are breaking down. What's a new map or navigational system?
3.6 : you are fighting with a team of horses (your advanced degree, the career protocol) but weeping because it's a fruitless battle or seems to be, and blood suggests that the battle can be savage.

37 anchors you, as you realize -- your family and your relationship

You speak of financial pressures, yet you have a business and source of income, is that right? If you release the ego pressures regarding career success, how much stress would remain, really?
It sounds like you do feel pulled towards family. How about letting yourself go there? and just put the focus there, -- your career can do what it likes (i.e. continue efforts as you are so moved, but take the expectations and pressures off).

 

[weaver]

I agree with the other responses, Folledeschiele. It does seem as though you asked two questions in one. I think it might help to ask, What is the best step to take now to achieve my goal?

However, the answer you got clearly says to me that you're lost (3.3) and suffering (3.6). 3.6 sometimes has that sense of exaggerated suffering in that the emotional trauma outweighs the external triggers. So it could be worth seeing if it is possible to change your thinking so that despite what is going on, you stay calm while things (the chaos of 3) resolve themselves. Yes, you have a good doctorate from a good university. So do a lot of people, however. How can you distinguish yourself, and make the links that allow your work to connect in the right places? Have you written to people in universities where you'd be interested in working and asked if they are looking for someone with your specialism? Are you registering for conferences where you can present papers and meet people who might be looking for someone?

The fact that it's taking time is not a sign of failure. I went to a 'world-renowned univeristy' too, and several of my friends who stayed on got very good PhDs, but it still took them time to find jobs. They did, though. I'm sure you will too. Take some time out to build yourself up emotionally (37) and recognise your achievements, then keep taking steps to get where you want. The thing about no longer being a student is that mere merit is no longer enough to get you instant recognition, and that is quite demoralising; but your work is worthy and you will find a place where you feel valued and bring value to others.

Maybe 3.3. is also suggesting talking to some people a couple of years ahead of you (perhaps your university's alumni association can put you in touch). Ask how their path was after getting their PhDs; what did they do, what do they wish in hindsight they had done?

 

[folledeschiele]

Thanks for these thoughtful comments. I agree with the observation that part of it is reframing so that I don't see things from such a narrow ego-oriented perspective. Things in my life are wonderful from many perspectives-- I enjoy my freelance work, have some teaching, have a roof over my head, a wonderful fiancee and family etc, etc. Do de-dramatizing it is part of it, I think, and trying to rise above the ego concerns. It's hard in a field where everyone's vying for influence and eager to elbow out the competition, but I don't wish to be a part of that ego-driven culture. It's the knowledge that excites and drives me, and I like a more collaborative and cooperative academic model.

As to line 3.3 which alludes to needing to find guidance and the entire hexagram's counsel to find "helpers", I am enlisting the help of my research advisor, who is quite supportive, as well as friends who have succeeded in finding jobs and postdocs. I will try to be more open to their advice and to admit that I'm a bit lost, which is sometimes a challenge since I, as so many others, try to appear like we "have it all together".

I also don't wish to appear entitled when I say I'm shocked that a degree from a top school has not yielded a job. It's simply a condition of a terrible market in which many, many people are undervalued and underpaid. Anyway, this has all given me food for thought. Thank you!