growing pains 8.5>2

[blue_angel]

I recently dated a guy "K". I felt we made a good connection, the experience was kind of magical at times. I felt definite potential there, whether he was to turn out to be my best friend and lover or grow into something more I wasn't sure. He however, ended the connection with no explanation. He doesn't want to remain friends. We didn't have an argument, we had a great time. Over the last couple of days I've done some readings when I'm calm, clear, focused.

Now yesterday, an odd thing happened, his "best" friend "S" began telling me out of the blue how they went shopping together the day before. I was excited to hear the story, it was funny and cute, and I genuinely care for this guy so the small gift of knowing how he is doing was nice. Refreshing. Although, the best friend divulged further information that I wasn't quite prepared to hear.

"S" said, Apparently this guy has a girlfriend in Colorado, some kind of an open relationship, yet the girlfriend is extremely jealous and controlling, even though they equally agree to see others. Apparently when this guy moves home, they will then pick up where they left off, and move in together. The surprise was a bit of a shock and I don't trust anyone's word immediately as truth, plus I had to think why
would the best friend immediately begin sharing all of this with me? Granted "S" is a woman but she is known as gay. I hadn't brought "K" up. It must have been known I was dating him. So perhas another motive behind it. I hadn't even known they were best friends.

I remained calm even though my insides were burning somewhere in the middle of my chest. See I had asked him if he had a girlfriend or anyone back home, the answer I got was no. It was new so I assumed he was dating others, that's not a problem for me as we hadn't committed to each other.


For me, I can only date one at a time. But I understand many keep it open until they meet one they really feel potential with. For me there has to be that spark, some chemistry, a connection, and I find it rare. Coming along randomly, but few and far in between. Maybe I am too picky. As my good friend has said. Yet I feel its just something that happens naturally.

My first reading was "what should I know about the best friend?" I was thinking along the lines of do I trust their words?" What's the motive? My reading is 50.2>56. Hmmm

As I was reading through various threads and translations, it seems this can mean the best friend is envious or jealous, but why? Yet, they can do no real harm to me. Ok. Basically don't allow it all to mess up my vessel and own ingredients? Or perhaps it means simply the guy is conflicted but can't come near me, even though I had asked about the friend.

My next question was "was the guy, honest with me?" My reading was 8.5>2. So this tells me, basically not to worry about it? That I have been open with him and allow him to connect if he wishes, however allow him to go if he wishes? Or... ?? That's the only thing I can come up with in this moment.

Next question "why did the guy end the connection with me?" Reading 14.1.2.4.5.6>39. Ok so I'm limping along a little, but I have abundance or great possession to focus on? And I realize some say too many lines don't read them, however I read a post of Hilary that says do read them, as they each offer advice. Plus I really like line 6 lol. Protection from heaven. Feels like a hug to the heart. All of the lines seem fairly good. But what do my wise friends on clarity think? Did the answer respond to my questions or more to myself?


Final question "what now?" As in what happens next, what do I focus on? Reading 41.5.6>60. Nice answer. Any further insight? I enjoy a good debate, and appreciate both candid, brutal truths as well as a little inspiration and encouragement.

There is much more to this story but I have already written a book lol. I did learn a whole lot about myself in the connection and when it ended. All kinds of things rose to my surface, good and bad. And most of all I had one of lifes fleeting magical moments. I do believe we are meant to connect throughout our lives with many, as they bring with them lessons, sometimes hard, but always a gift. Still, I am forever learning and growing and the growing pains can really suck sometimes.

With love,

Blue_Angel

 

[ginnie]

Your questions are framed in terms of the guy and his best friend and not from your own point of view. This makes interpretation very dicey and basically no one can say whether the responses have to do with you or with the other people. It must be shocking to have been left in the lurch like that. Please ask what you need to know or do, and don't try to find out what he's thinking. He probably told you a lie and was going to go back to his girlfriend all along, and that seems to be what has happened. Let him go . . .

 

[blue_angel]

Yes Ginnie, that is why I asked "What now?" As in what happens now or what should I focus on now?" and I received 41.5.6>60. Perhaps you missed that?

 

[blue_angel]

Either way... whether I am wrong or right I studied Rosada's old Memorizing The Iching threads. I love reading those, they are filled with so much information from different wise members. I am often able to piece together puzzles, there seem to be signs there, everywhere. It enlightens me, especially when I am really tuned in and calm. So... here is what I came up with. I find it interesting.

For reading 50.2>56, the question was "what should I know about the gay woman best friend"?. I say gay, not to offend anyone, but because the answer speaks of jealousy. How or why could she possibly be jealous or envy. And yet... for one reason or another she was attempting to turn me against him.

To give further information... I do not know this woman all that well for her to give me ANY information or trust me not to go to him and ask. She brought him up immediately, telling me the cute story of how they went shopping. She then further to tell me about this supposed jealous and controlling girlfriend. She then tells me he is confused and has walls up. He's not ready to commit. That he needs to learn to follow his own advice. When they go out, he flirts with all of the women. And this part... every time he text her during the day at work, she told me. In fact at the end of the day she out of the blue says, he text how her day was going. She quoted some lyrics to a song. He didn't get it. And he was worried about her being mad. Does a best friend do this? I would think a best friend would be loyal to the friend. Not want to divulge much information to the practically stranger. Yet she did, without even being asked first. And... during our conversation she mentioned how manipulative women are.

Yes more drama than I wish to be involved in, and it feels good and liberating to know I am free, I do not need to or have to go any further. I had had a conversation with him about allowing other people to get involved, I guess he ignored that. The thing is, I did not show that I was upset to her. Instead I said "I am glad he is doing well and happy. I hope for the best for him, as I truly care about him. And if he's not able to talk to me or connect with me for one reason or another, its fine. An explanation would've been nice. But I had an amazing time while it lasted." Because the truth is, I wont know what happened. And I have to be ok with that. But here is what I got from the threads and it seems to fit. Again I could be wrong... but its fun to take a look at and learn by.

Coming from 56 as context, image Ken stands still, above is fire, they do not stay together. Rodaki on 56 "Fire on top of the mountain doesn't light very far, it works mostly so that someone is to be seen from afar rather than to light far along the way. The higher up the sun goes, the shadows on earth grow all the more darker. The edges sharp as paper cuts."

Frank_r on 50 "Wood and fire on exterior and metal on interior, final completion of the set beginning with 41 sacrifice or altering what is felt. Gold is made out of metal, through ears and eyes a felt connection with heart and kidney, the deepest axis. Experience in the middle man line of trigram earth."

Line 2- "There is food in the ting. My comrades are envious. But they can not harm me. Good fortune." Wilhelm and... Trojina on 2 definitely... "If people come into it, don't take them into account, they're not on your wavelength."

I hope no one minds me quoting, but these quotes are quite helpful in learning. The question was what I should think of the best friend, whether or not I should trust her words. After reading all of the above, the answer I got, is no. I should not take her into account.

On another note, I find that in the image, when speaking of the elements, it is surprisingly more times than not, speaking of our actual astrological elements in our signs... It is here it is here, in these very readings. And it intrigues me. Call me crazy lol. But I wonder if anyone else has had this experience. I'll come back and share what I found with the other readings in case anyone else is interested or would like to debate. It might help someone for future readings and intrigue their interest as well.

Thanks for sharing and taking your time. Best wishes as always,

Blue_Angel

 

[goddessliss]

Hi Blue_Angel not up to interpreting as I have the flu but what I say to anyone in our position is don't settle for BTN Better Than Nothing - be as fussy as you want, it's your life. I know I don't have partner because I'm not prepared to settle for anything less than what I have in mind. - Liss

 

[blue_angel]

Thank you Liss! Sending you healing! Feel better soon.

 

[Trojina]

My first reading was "what should I know about the best friend?" I was thinking along the lines of do I trust their words?" What's the motive? My reading is 50.2>56. Hmmm

That's quite clear in the circumstances I think ! The best friend is suffering with some kind of upset around him and you or maybe just him. It doesn't have to be envy as I think the actual words of Yi in the line is that one's companions are 'afflicted' but they cannot touch what is real. So her motive in telling you these things is not quite all it appears. So no I wouldn't let her words affect you unduly.

My next question was "was the guy, honest with me?" My reading was 8.5>2. So this tells me, basically not to worry about it? That I have been open with him and allow him to connect if he wishes, however allow him to go if he wishes? Or... ?? That's the only thing I can come up with in this moment.

Yes I think this is fairly straight forward. In his mind he was being honest as it seems to be an open kind of thing. In practise this is the 2nd time I've seen 8.5 come up for men who want to keep their options open ! You are in the position of 'take it or leave it' yet there is no hard core dishonesty there...although it doesn't feel good at all to be on the receiving end of it.

Next question "why did the guy end the connection with me?" Reading 14.1.2.4.5.6>39. Ok so I'm limping along a little, but I have abundance or great possession to focus on? And I realize some say too many lines don't read them, however I read a post of Hilary that says do read them, as they each offer advice. Plus I really like line 6 lol. Protection from heaven. Feels like a hug to the heart. All of the lines seem fairly good. But what do my wise friends on clarity think? Did the answer respond to my questions or more to myself?

Hmm that's a tricky question...'why' questions don't work well for me but anyway you aren't the loser here IMO...the yang pattern is 10 so this 'wealth' of this relationship was approached with great caution, there was danger in it for him perhaps...perhaps he felt he was getting sucked in and couldn't cope, or couldn't sustain the level of sharing found in that 14...all those lines...all that sharing,,he was limping, was he up to it ? The yin pattern, the way through is hex 15, perhaps he is trying to bring himself to earth. I wonder if he had trouble believing in how good it was ?

Final question "what now?" As in what happens next, what do I focus on? Reading 41.5.6>60. Nice answer. Any further insight? I enjoy a good debate, and appreciate both candid, brutal truths as well as a little inspiration and encouragement

.

Ah beautiful answer. There is loss here (41) but the benefits it brings are enormous...something that happened has moved you on (41.6) you aren't where you were before you met him, something's changed for you. 41.5 can be quite an intangible benefit but rewards come over time. I think what you can focus on is you can really afford all this (see that hex 14 answer) you're moving, you're on a roll, you have plenty to give...this doesn't stop you or freeze you up. 41.6 says one finds servants but no home. That is it's not time to settle down, it's time to explore, keep on making more connections, you're on your way somewhere. Maybe he was just a stop on the way and it seems to me he served a purpose of some kind. Strangely this doesn't disable you it seems to enable you in some way.

I'm not convinced it's over anyway...not with that 14>39. I don't want to fan hopes but I'd be on guard, plan ahead what you'll say/do if he wants to come back to you.

There is much more to this story but I have already written a book lol. I did learn a whole lot about myself in the connection and when it ended. All kinds of things rose to my surface, good and bad. And most of all I had one of lifes fleeting magical moments. I do believe we are meant to connect throughout our lives with many, as they bring with them lessons, sometimes hard, but always a gift. Still, I am forever learning and growing and the growing pains can really suck sometimes.

yes the whole experience was about the connection and where that took you (41.6). There seems nothing for you to regret here...but having said that the way he acted was cruel IMO . Surely he could have said goodbye and so on. I think perhaps he is worried over the strength of his feelings (?) I say that because of 14>39....

Hmm not a nice experience ...but no way are you the loser here. As for what that friend of his said...that was all about her own negative feelings. She couldn't cope in some way with what you had....she's letting her negative feelings spill over to you to sort of spoil it for you but it won't work as what you have/had is fundamentally solid. I hope no one has told him bad things about you ? Is that possible ? Might she have said things to him about you ??

 

[blue_angel]

Trojina,

Thank you so much for taking your time. I have much respect for your guidance, experience, and perspective. I mostly know I can count on you to be straight to the points and not beat around the bush. Yet I know no maliciousness is ever meant, only constructive criticism when needed.I know you take all aspects into consideration. You really have a gift at reading, hearing, listening, and feeling the person in need, which at the moment would be me. Your intuition is right on today, that's for sure, as it is many days. I truly enjoy your feedback. Sincerely.

Now that I think of it, why questions don't usually work for me either lol. Thanks for pointing that out, not sure WHY I hadn't considered it lol.

"Something has happened, that has moved you on. You aren't where you were before you met him, something has changed for you." (41.6) Bigger than I am willing to share here. Indeed, ah hah moments, Epiphany, revelations, transitions. Some things that he has absolutely nothing to do with. Some that he does but on a smaller scale. And one that has everything to do with him. A complete transformation. He
brought with him lessons and blessings I think he may not even realize. One of those times in life where a definite growth or death and rebirth needs to happen. Its because of this I can not be too upset.

Yes being in the dark, having this friend come tell me this stuff, sucks. Losing a connection sucks. But on the grander scale its nothing shorter than magic. I am blessed. I am free. And... the time I shared with him is the very best time I have ever shared with a man. Its impossible to regret. I lived in heaven for a moment. I didn't even know it was possible. It exceeded my expectations. It exceeded my fantasies. Bummer not to last, but amazing that it happened. I can not fully express what I feel or have felt in words. I have thought why something so rare wouldn't last, but maybe its not over like you say may be possible or... maybe it was simply meant to happen for these other areas of my life. I would love to share these transformations but it is all very personal and now does not feel like the time.

"Be on guard incase he comes back" that's something to think about. And it goes with "is it possible she or others said anything bad about you?"

I am definitely not perfect by any means, I make silly mistakes and big mistakes like the next person. But there should be nothing they can say that I haven't already said myself. One doesn't have to do a whole lot to understand me. I am open. I say how I feel, what I think, what I believe. There's not a whole lot of guessing to be done. So if they said something, it's either false, and a damn shame he wouldn't ask me. Or its at least a false perspective. Who knows. But communication is one thing. An open mind, honesty. Built trust. I am not sure what I would say to him. The air would need to be cleared. I think for once I would shut my mouth and listen and observe only. I would definitely walk softly. Although, I don't feel I hold or would hold any anger or resentment. I would at least attempt a friendship. I am totally not sure at this point, I would have to think about it. See what all unfolds.

 

[Trojina]

So if they said something, it's either false, and a damn shame he wouldn't ask me. Or its at least a false perspective.

Just to confirm (incase I alarmed you) I didn't get that idea from the reading but I just thought if the friend was saying upsetting things to you about him, I wonder if, to cause trouble, she might say things of you, to him, that aren't true. That was just me speculating and probably complicating things. 50.2 says she is incapable of causing real harm as what is in the vessel is good. So it's probably not worth considering...and as you say even if she did he could of asked you about it

 

[blue_angel]

No alarm, its something I already considered. It was sort of felt intuitively. I knew you didn't get it from the reading. Thank you though, its fine.

 

[ginnie]

Final question "what now?" As in what happens next, what do I focus on? Reading 41.5.6>60.

Hi Blue_Angel,

Your post reminds me of something that once happened to me . . .

Looking at your 41.5.6>60:

The relating hexagram is 60, which means to me that there will be restriction and limiting factors. 41.5 is the "gain through losing" line. You lose something large, but this benefits you. And 41.6 tends to mean that you attain your aim, which holds out some hope that in the future he will come back to you, if that is what you truly want. But I don't see this happening in the short run. Hex 60 represents some kind of blockage or obstruction in the near future.

The yang change pattern is 20 and the yin change pattern is 34. You were taking an overview at the time of the casting. The way forward is given by the yin pattern. 34 is the hexagram of strong action, but the action must be cultured and always correct. So I think it's important to clarify whether or not he has another girlfriend. He may be open to more than one relationship at a time, but that's not your style. Some possibility exists that he may have been less than honest with you when you asked him about this before.

In any case, action at present is stopped by limitations. This blockage would have to clear up before anything else can happen.

 

[blue_angel]

Thank you Ginnie,

But I feel deeply Trojina's intuition nailed it for me. I guess its all down to perspective then. I definitely gained something large out of the loss. I don't see 60 as near future, I see it as where I was coming from. And I think after we have built a sort of relationship with Yi, it picks up on how we read, and so answers in such a way. I see 60 as background, context, I learned this from Hilary, I believe. Of course, you are welcome to read how is right for you. It makes no difference. No right or wrong I don't think. Just different. Thanks again for your time.