Hanging on

[tess]

I've been emotionally hanging onto someone for a very long time and it has caused a lot of stagnation for me, caused me to hold back on a lot of things in my preoccupation and waiting. I finally feel as if something needs to happen and quite probably I just need to let him go. So I concentrated on the idea "now is the time to let this person go" not really forming a question or a determination, moreso putting that sentence out for discussion,The answer came back as 44.3.4.5 to 4. To me this says that what we had was temporary and I now need to start new.

More confusing for me is the reading I did next which was "Please show me the way that the previous reading needs to manifest in my life now".
It answered 60.2.3.6 to 37. I suppose it is kind of a narrative: I missed my chance (line 2), I am hurt and I only have myself to blame (line 3); but I need to break away from the restrictions I have placed on myself because of holding on to this person and if I break away from this then I will be able to be happy again.

To further elaborate, I asked before these two readings why I can't let go of this person and got 23.3.6 to 15 which to me made it seem like I was holding on because he is a superior person for me (superior meaning suitable) and that when the time is right our separation will end, but the 44>4 makes me think that I must be wrong in interpreting the 23>15 reading.

To end this long train of readings, I concentrated on the feelings I am having of a desire and need for change and how I am confused and uncertain about exactly what needs to change and how and threw the coins. The answer came as 57.5.6 to 46. To me it seems that this answer is simply mirroring what I was concentrating on, line 5 being my need for change and line 6 being my uncertainty. Hexagram 46 I guess is the resulting change that will inevitably happen but gives no clues as to what kind of change it will be or how to do it.

Anybody have anything to add because I would really appreciate hearing some more informed and indepth interpretations. I really need help getting out of my stagnation and confusion. Thanks.

 

[meng]

Fish in your tank can be seen as fuel in your car or some gettiyapp in your step. Energy. 4 (a ground spring of water) offers help here, because 4 is always ready and willing to try a new way. Your neural pathways thus branch out and start growing (46) in new areas, receiving new input and stimulus. In-between is a lot of stripping exteriors to see what goes on inside of things (23,57). Behind this is a stubborn will to feel in control.

 

[tess]

Thank you for the reply mengu. I really appreciate your help.

To comment on your words, you mention fish in my tank but the only line in my reading that speaks of fish is line 44.4 which says that there are no fish in my tank, so does this mean that there is no energy or motivation? And for energy for what?
About Hex 4, I am glad to see that this hexagram shows help but I am not sure what I need help doing. Letting go I assume. Is it possible that this reading is saying that if I attempt an encounter than it will lead to a bad and dangerous experience (44) which leaves me humiliated, diminished and vulnerable (4)?

I am defintely trying to get to the heart of things and look for new ways of thinking and new approaches to myself and my situation, yes. And you are very right when you say that underneath there is a stubborn will to feel in control. I always have to fight this tendency and I have been trying to have some sort of control over this for a very long time but now I am trying very hard to relinquish control and allow life to unfold but I am new to this notion and still wish to have some sort of compass so I can at least head off in the right direction.
Perhaps the I Ching is telling me that I need to open myself up and be quiet in order for the right path to reveal itself? I don't know. I am finding it hard to understand the advice (if any) that the I Ching is trying to express in these readings.

Anything to say about the 60>37 reading?

 

[meng]

I think you've got the idea of it, even as far as opening up to receiving rather than reinforcing the need for controlling. Had to chuckle a bit at 'trying to control the urge to control'. I understand what you mean, but you see the paradox? When things are kept too controlled, nothing can be born there. Part of the no fishes in tank meaning.

60 and 37 both have structural elements and considerations. 37 is a single unity made of diverse personalities, and (theoretically) when each performs their specific function, the entire family benefits as an organism. You are this organism of members. 60 delineates and prioritizes, it determines how much is enough, not enough, or too much. The warning of 60.6 has the same theme of not choking off potential with a galling grip. You have to allow the young girl some room to be a young girl, the middle to be middle, eldest to be eldest, and the sons likewise in order, and of course in order are the father and mother of the family. This can applied outwardly, applied to the world, or in an entirely inward exercise, or both at once.

Is it possible that this reading is saying that if I attempt an encounter than it will lead to a bad and dangerous experience (44) which leaves me humiliated, diminished and vulnerable (4)?

Living is a dangerous experience, which can leave you humiliated, diminished and vulnerable. So? Now what?

If you're going to have say so in the way your life develops, it's good to know what elements you're dealing with. In this case, at this time, you're dealing with power, fear of losing it, and the desire to order and somehow contain it. 4 can really help you here, first it lightens the ambiance a bit, then it fertilizes (calls up the life from the ground). Then, next thing you know, fishies are swimming around. New potentials pop up.

 

[meng]

Maybe a good time to bring up a question or pov. It could be 'no fishes in the tank', as though there should be fishes in the tank (as in a fish farm), or, it can be read as saying don't expect fish to be in tanks, i.e. small man made containers. You want fish? Get yer gear, Gerdy, and better wear yer waders.

 

[tess]

Again, thank you, mengu, for your continuous feedback.

"Had to chuckle a bit at 'trying to control the urge to control'. I understand what you mean, but you see the paradox? When things are kept too controlled, nothing can be born there. Part of the no fishes in tank meaning."

Ya I see what you mean. Kinda like something being pulled on in two opposite directions so instead of coming loose it just gets wound tighter. Its strange how I am realizing that letting go of control is not letting go of action or energy; its more a matter of allowing myself to go with the moment and respond to the flow of things. Maybe its time to stop being the tank, waiting to be filled, and to start being the fish I've been waiting for. This must be where the encounter comes in because I was having a hard time with this fish metaphor being a part of the enountering in 44.

"60 and 37 both have structural elements and considerations. 37 is a single unity made of diverse personalities, and (theoretically) when each performs their specific function, the entire family benefits as an organism. You are this organism of members. 60 delineates and prioritizes, it determines how much is enough, not enough, or too much. The warning of 60.6 has the same theme of not choking off potential with a galling grip."

Ok so I can see a parallel with the 44>4 reading here in that I need to stop building walls for myself and start focusing on the home aspect of household. Does that make sense? It kinda does for me. Like building a firm foundation for something to grow on. Or perhaps I've been shown my limits, which has brought me to this point, and now its time for me to start developing something new based on what I've learned but it has to start small with myself and in my immediate surroundings.

"Living is a dangerous experience, which can leave you humiliated, diminished and vulnerable. So? Now what?"

You're right, but I've had enough of these experiences, hence the trying to control things and limit myself, and why it's been so hard to let go ot control.

"If you're going to have say so in the way your life develops, it's good to know what elements you're dealing with. In this case, at this time, you're dealing with power, fear of losing it, and the desire to order and somehow contain it. 4 can really help you here, first it lightens the ambiance a bit, then it fertilizes (calls up the life from the ground). Then, next thing you know, fishies are swimming around. New potentials pop up."

This sounds hopeful. I could use a lighter ambience.

"Maybe a good time to bring up a question of pov. It could be 'no fishes in the tank', as though there should be fishes in the tank (as in a fish farm), or, it can be read as saying don't expect fish to be in tanks, i.e. small man made containers. You want fish? Get yer gear, Gerdy, and better wear yer waders."

Very interesting point you've made here, mengu. I really like how you refer to tanks as "man-made containers". That really got me thinking about how maybe I've been trying to put people or things into containers when instead I should allow them to be in their own environment. Some things cannot be contained and that should be seen as a positive thing. This way no one has control or power over the other.

Thanks again for your insight, mengu. You've really allowed me to think about these readings in all new ways. Exactly what I came here for.

 

[meng]

Its strange how I am realizing that letting go of control is not letting go of action or energy; its more a matter of allowing myself to go with the moment and respond to the flow of things.

I think that's a good way to put it.

..got me thinking about how maybe I've been trying to put people or things into containers when instead I should allow them to be in their own environment. Some things cannot be contained and that should be seen as a positive thing.

RE 37/60:

Ok so I can see a parallel with the 44>4 reading here in that I need to stop building walls for myself and start focusing on the home aspect of household. Does that make sense? It kinda does for me. Like building a firm foundation for something to grow on. Or perhaps I've been shown my limits, which has brought me to this point, and now its time for me to start developing something new based on what I've learned but it has to start small with myself and in my immediate surroundings.

My mention of structural properties of 37 and 60 were intended mainly for use in a constructive way, but I agree with your point about possibly over doing it. Same with man made containers. They're very useful, things like apartments, houses, rooms, but we don't see those divisions occurring in nature as tightly. They do occur, such as a timberline, or where one type of plant stops growing and another kind begins growing. Limits and order have their place, but so do spontaneity and trusting. I'm just confirming what you've already said.

 

[magg]

coins

I do not really like using coins because so many changing lines come through. Try going to an older method - the yarrow sticks. This allows for meditation and stillness. Just the action of 'clicking the sticks' as I like to call it, can calm the mind. You are confused, and the answers reflect that confusion. But anyway, reading all of those hexagrams will help you internalize the wisdom of the Tao. Also use several books (sources) to understand the answers. Take notes, look up the meaning of words. Apply the question through out your understanding of the reading. Write down things you are reminded of as you read the answers. Things will begin to click and become clearer. Its all about connecting with your higher self, inner voice, the flow, the tao. Slow down. Digest
Clarity of vision is your birthright.
Blessings