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Haunted by the past

martinus

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31/1,5 - 55
"How should I deal with memories that are mostly unpleasant?"
Getting old(er) - the past says "Hello, nice to met you!"
However it's not so nice being challenged by memories of the past...
Actually, there's hardly a day when I do not feel like falling victim to what I did - or should have done-
or shouldn't have done (er - it's not about crime or anything illegal !).
So many things (especially concerning personal relationships..)
55 following - does it mean that - I will ? - I should finally get over the hump?
No looking back in anger or frustration?
Actually, this being a serious problem, I even thought of contacting a psychotherapist .
Martinus
 

Trojina

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55 isn't 'following' it's Abundance - which is to say the situation is at it's fullest, there can be a feeling of overwhelm which sounds like what you are experiencing . There's profusion, all sorts of things crowding your mind and also the pressure to ACT.

I think perhaps the best thing you can do for yourself is realise you are being drawn to act upon something and the pressure is building with these thoughts as if you are trying to find your way through to something.


In 31 one is pulled, attracted, drawn towards an influence. There's a desire to allow influence in, to be moved by it, for it to change you. There's a lot of pressure in the reading I feel as you try to grope your way forward amongst all these pressing thoughts of the past. But the story in 55 is where Wu cannot stay in mourning, there's things to do and I think the thoughts that are coming, whilst they appear as thoughts of the past, are more likely urging you to action of some kind and you aren't yet sure, amidst that profusion of clamouring images and remembrances, what that action is, what are you being pulled to engage with ?


And looking at the change patterns (3/50) what drew you to ask this question was the need to make from all that profusion and confusion something new. So whilst it is unpleasant for you the activity going on in your mind has a purpose. It's searching out a direction to move in to bring together all your experiences and memories to actually forge a new self, a new sense of the shape of your life.


In 30.1 only the toe is moving, there's just an inkling of intention. Something wants to take shape here and the pestering thoughts are almost like sediment that's being stirred up because there's new life coming through. There's certainly new impulses coming through but you aren't quite yet in touch with what they are. I wrote this about line 5 in wikiwing since I feel it can be about really resetting your intention to be in alignment with your deepest will for yourself.



There is a chakra, energy centre, at the back of the neck. I believe this line is referring to this chakra. When it becomes open or active it is said one is able to connect with one's own central purpose and also recall past wisdom. In meditation this area can spontaneously awaken. It feels deep beneath the base of the skull. As this is not always so easily accessed I recommend on receiving this line you sit quietly and place your attention there for a while. I think often this line is received when one is being a little superficial in looking for direction outside of oneself. This is a call to re find that deep central direction you carry with you from the sum of all your experiences in this life and beyond. A quote from Alan Cohen 'Dragon Doesn't Live Here Anymore', that brings this line much to mind: "How profound and pervasive are your quietest thoughts ! As you realise their magnitude, you relinquish any notion of idleness." (Trojina)


So there's much going on for you and currently this is just nasty but it's like all these past experiences, memories, are actually 'grist for the mill' in terms of your soul's journey. I think perhaps you are actually really reaching for taking the sum of them, however that manifests, into action in some way, if that makes sense. In other words it's like you have gathered an energetic momentum in 55, there's profusion and a call to act but act in what way ? Well the 31 shows something to be calling you forward. I don't know what that is but I do feel once you start to follow that pull, once you start to actively move towards where you feel pulled the bad memories will fade somewhat. Remember they are only ingredients of the past and you don't have to carry them as they are they can be transmuted and transcended through that pull into action in whichever way you start to feel it.

If there is something you are beginning tentatively (31.1) move towards that, take your energy into what you are drawn to so that the pressure you feel can subside and flow more towards what you're in the process of making in your life now.


Your question was 'how to deal with memories that are mostly unpleasant ?' and I think your answer is you deal with this almost overflow of memory (55) through moving into your deepest sense of direction (31.5) now and acting upon it (55).
 

rosada

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31.1 When you find yourself starting to re-run those boring, stupid, no-where memories...
31.5 Turn your head away and deliberately put your attention on something useful.

55. Consider where you are right now and be grateful for all those past yucky adventures because they actually led to you attaining the success and abundance you have today!
So "Be not sad!"
And remember, you are the one who gets to decide if what you did or didn't do deserves any punishment. I suggest you grant yourself total immunity and then get active pursuing something fun in the here and now.

---
These hexagrams seem to me to be saying, "Don't think about it," which of course is easier said than done, but isn't it reassuring to be told that rather than getting some hexagram like 18 telling you you have to search out all your old victims and make amends?!

What I'm seeing in my ripe old age as the memories swirl around, is I recognize patterns - like I seem to always attract certain characters. I have a neighbor who could be my deceased sister's twin and another one who could play my grandmother. Happily as I recognize these re-occuring patterns I'm also finding I'm able to navigate these new theatricals much more successfully than I did the original ones. Like with the neighbor/sister I let her be as bossy as she likes without feeling the least offended and with my elderly grandmother/friend I'm making a point to ask her all about her childhood which I regret I never did with my real grand mother. So don't despair! You'll get another crack at it and meanwhile just remind yourself we're all learning and truly right now you are exactly where you are supposed to be.

Oh, and if you think seeing a therapist would be helpful, why not? You're worth it!
 
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martinus

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Thank you so much, Trojina and Rosada!
This is both revealing - and so encouraging.
I wouldn't have posted this if it hadn't been troubling me for months.
There are so many aspects the two of you have mentioned.
I didn't really know what to make of 31 and the "toe" and the "neck" mentioned there.
Actually, I have an innate ( congenital?) neck vertebrae problem (I hope that's the correct word...),
which couldn't be corrected medically, the result being that my head - and my eyes - are slightly bent downwards - you see what I mean. It's interesting that you draw my attention to this "axis of rotation"!
Whenever I get into a meditative position, get my head and my neck into a more "correct" position I feel
more "present" - if I may put it like this.
It was also most interesting to read the remarks concerning personal "patterns". Indeed I could add a personal
experience like this.
Funny/strange that I wrote "following" instead of "abundance" - knowing of course it was "abundance". A Freudian slip maybe? :)
Martinus
 

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