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Help with interpreting 36.5 > 63

Jellyhearts

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Hi all, I decided to approach my ex with an offer of reconciliation and asked "what should I expect?" and the answer I got was 5.5 > 11. I interpreted this as waiting and enjoying the wait. Then I asked what signs should I look out for that the wait is over? and got 36.5 > 63. I'm not too sure what this means and I've been reading the forum and it seems to be inauspicious. Help please! Thank you in advance :)
 

radiofreewill

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Hi Jellyhearts,

"What should I expect?"
5.5 to 11 ~ To wait, cheerfully, through a period of opposition until reconciliation. The nuclear hexagram is 38, Opposition, which can be his and/or your own.

"What signs should I look out for that the wait is over?"
36.5 to 63 ~ Dim your outer light, but not your inner sovereignty.

The sense I get from your questions is that you are asking "How long until we are back together?" but the Yi is reminding you that there might be reasons that you wouldn't want to get back together ~ see how you feel, first, before commiting to reconciliation?

Field says that the omen of good fortune for 36.5 is the "karch-karch" cry of a startled pheasant ~ a woodland bird that prefers to evade on the ground, until it gets too spooked and flies off noisily.

So, the advice is to hide your heart's most vulnerable feelings under a layer of 'ground cover' and lay low during the initial stages of reconciliation. This will give you a chance to see how you feel this time around, while protecting your heart from being hurt, again.

If he spooks you, then you can fly away to safety, not having risked too much.

And, on the other hand, if he turns out to be worthy of a restart, then you can bring your self-protective behavior to a close (63) and step forward ~ able to commit your full nobility to the relationship.

I hope this helps!
 

Jellyhearts

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Hello! Thank you radiofreewill for the reply. Unfortunately I did not really heed the advice of waiting. I recently asked my ex out for coffee, to which he refused. He then told a friend that he was really not interested in reconciliation and that he believed that the negative rumours that were going around about the two of us were started by me. He also told him that there would be no such reconciliation in the future either. So in retrospect, the opposition is true from his end. I didn't really take the advice of hiding my heart, I tried but it was kinda hard to. And it didn't help that there were rumours going around about me and my ex. I took some time after to think about it, since I had finished my exams. I thought about the relationship and tried to rationalise why it ended and came to the conclusion that we were quite different. Of course if I wouldn't mind working on it together but it means that he has to make some compromises too. So I thought it better to let it go and move on. But I'm not close off to the prospect of him coming back into my life in the future (which I think may be highly unlikely) but we can never know. So i asked whether there was really no possibility for another relationship with X in the future? And got 49.1.3.5 > 16 I saw hex. 49 as a huge change (like someone has to make the change or both of us need to change) but only at the right time? Perhaps in a few years when we're slightly older (we're in our early 20s). The time is not right now because our goal is to complete our degrees (49.1), and I should not do anything stupid and rash like confront anyone or initiate anything which is a good reminder because I'm quite impulsive (49.3). And that maybe I'm like delusional about getting back together in the future or I really believe in that future (49.5). And perhaps hex. 16 means I am overly enthused about this idea of reconciliation in the future and advises me to calm down? Because while there is a small tiny percentage of it happening, it is not definite and there are forces working against me (his mindset is quite fixed on the fact that he doesn't want another relationship). But thank you! I really appreciated it.
 

radiofreewill

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Hi Jellyhearts,

I see it the same way ~ it would take a total Revolution by him (all the yang line positions, 1-3-5, are changing) ~ to bring real Joy to the relationship.

My advice, and it's just my opinion, is to hold out ~ for as long as it takes ~ to receive equal Respect.

My experience, like your intuition in this situation, too, is that 49 is not a short term hexagram, but a pointer to a longer, larger process.

Thanks for updating your other thread ~ that should help people with their 23 outcomes, too?

I like your insight! Confucius said that if he had his life to do over again, he would have started consulting the i-Ching sooner, when he was younger. I hope you stay with it!

All Best
 

Jellyhearts

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Thank you so much! I believe so too-that he needs to change a lot but I really doubt that it could happen. So it’s a little difficult to hold out when there is an almost 0.5% chance that he takes initiative and changes. I usually try not to self diagnose but I think my ex has got an fearful avoidant attachment style and it takes a lot to change this attachment style because it’s been ingrained since his childhood. And I’ve spoken to friends who has this same attachment style and noticed one thing in common— they would not go back to their exes. They’ve got terribly low self esteem and are severe people pleasers, but once they realize that the relationship isn’t making the object of their affection happy, they would back out. Making me happy was of prime importance to my ex and he did it despite the fact that it wasn’t making him happy and the moment he realised I was not happy, he backed out quickly and post breakup he acted coldly as if it meant nothing to him. I’m not too optimistic about reconciliation happening at all but who knows? Haha :) life is unpredictable and takes you by surprise. I like that 49 seems to promise something nice! Yes, I like the way the Iching makes me think. But it should be used carefully because for a period of time I was obsessively trying to get new readings for the same topic—reconciliation.
 

Jellyhearts

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Thank you so much! I believe so too-that he needs to change a lot but I really doubt that it could happen. So it’s a little difficult to hold out when there is an almost 0.5% chance that he takes initiative and changes. I usually try not to self diagnose but I think my ex has got an fearful avoidant attachment style and it takes a lot to change this attachment style because it’s been ingrained since his childhood. And I’ve spoken to friends who has this same attachment style and noticed one thing in common— they would not go back to their exes. They’ve got terribly low self esteem and are severe people pleasers, but once they realize that the relationship isn’t making the object of their affection happy, they would back out. Making me happy was of prime importance to my ex and he did it despite the fact that it wasn’t making him happy and the moment he realised I was not happy, he backed out quickly and post breakup he acted coldly as if it meant nothing to him. I’m not too optimistic about reconciliation happening at all but who knows? Haha :) life is unpredictable and takes you by surprise. I like that 49 seems to promise something nice! Yes, I like the way the Iching makes me think. But it should be used carefully because for a period of time I was obsessively trying to get new readings for the same topic—reconciliation.
 

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