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S

seeker

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So I am done with my break from Yi and asked again about prospects for me and Thomas and got 41.3. I thought this was telling me that he was with her and I was the third party that needed to walk alone. However, when I checked my email, new matches came up on one of my personal ads and he was one of them. Unless he is cheating on his girlfriend, it would seem he is back out there.

Now, of course he knows that I would like to be with him, so part of me says if he wanted to be with me he would have contacted me. But another part says that he was just in a serious relationship and maybe he is thinking I would want more than he could give. However, I always figured if we did get back together, initially it would not be serious, and I am ok with that. I am ok with dating and just seeing where it goes.

So, I asked what should I do about Thomas and got 18.6 to 46. To me, what has been spoiled is my relationship with him, but line 6 seems to talk more about spiritual decay. 46 is about pushing forward, and I have gotten that same hex a few times over the past month or so when I asked about his and my future. Also, is it just a coincidence that I have also received 24 when asking about him or romance in general and tomorrow is the solstice??? I also think it is interesting that Yi had indicated a couple of weeks ago that I should contact him, even though it did not turn out well and he was still with her at that time. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated. I am not so worried about getting hurt, been there and can handle it, but I don't want to mess this up.
 
S

seeker

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Also asked how would he respond if I emailed him and got 9.1.5 to 18. 18 again, and line 5 is interesting (using Wilhelm), but not sure about line one.

I am getting advice from all sides on this, have a call in to my friend who reads Tarot for me, also asked mom and another friend for opinion, both told me that as I am the kind of person who can leave no stone unturned (my moms description) that I need to contact him, if only to have some sort of closure. Basically, I won't know until I ask. Is that what Yi is saying too??? BTW, I am calmer than when I have faced this in the past, so maybe I am making progress. I just want to make the right move at the right time, if there is such a thing.
 

RindaR

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Seeker,

I'm thinking this means that it's time to look away from your emotional reactions to the possibility of relationship with him, and to use your critical thinking faculties. Karcher says, among other things, "Let go of things" and "Diminish the yang, augment the yin."

Be receptive, and use your head right now rather than your heart - (typically advice I, for one, don't like to hear)....

Rinda
 

martin

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The overall impression that I get from these answers is that the I Ching gently tries to push you back into your river. As if Thomas is now less important than he seems to be to you. That might change in the future but what is important now is this river, the river that you are.
You are going somewhere, you are changing, developing. Something is happening in you. Do you recognize that?
 
J

jeanystar

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I definitely agree with Martin here, Seeker.
Your advice seems to point to the fact that you have spent a lot of good time working on "what was spoiled" and now you might be ready to move on, not backwards, if you seize the opportunity.

The 24 could be pointing to a return to the old cycle, not something as desirable as 18.6 >46, transcending the old and finding new growth.

Thomas knows where you are and that you are single. The most "attractive" thing you can do is to get on with your own life. GO with your own flow forward. That river might take you somewhere really great, after all.......and thomas might prove to only be a blueprint for the kind of man out there waiting for you to come.
 

jte

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Seeker, it presumably wouldn't hurt to try contacting Thomas, but MHO, I don't think that's what the Yi's encouraging you to do with 18.6...

- Jeff
 
S

seeker

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Thomas also knows how I feel about him, and I was afraid that would scare him off. I asked if he would respond if I called him and got 46.2. The line talks of not being in a strong position, but meeting with a favorable response, so I left him a message. Whether or not he is interested in seeing me again, I am still concerned about him and wanted him to know that I am still his friend and am here if he needs anything. I only hope he will take that as sincerely as I meant it.

I am not sure why I keep getting hex 18, as everyone I know talks about how much I have changed, how much happier I seem (even with all the turmoil) and how much more at peace I am. I only get hex 18 when asking about Thomas. I have to wonder if it means what you are saying why I don't receive it when I ask what direction to take spiritually or in my life in general. I just have this gut feeling that we are missing something.

I also have this theory, still testing, but anyone comment if you have had any experience. I look at the lines as a progression through the hex, if you only get one line, I think that indicates where in the process of that hex you are. For the 6th line, I think maybe it means you are moving out of that hex and into the resulting one so that it might actually have more meaning. I also always trust Yi to answer the question I asked. If I look more at 46, especially considering I also got that hex a couple of weeks ago when I asked about future prospects with Thomas, I read it as telling me to proceed carefully step by step. Again, this is just a theory, only time will tell.
 
S

seeker

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By the way, I also happen to believe in fate and synchronicity, so I cannot believe that he keeps popping up in my life for no reason. He may not be that one and only person I am meant to be with, but I don't think we are quite done yet either. Again, only time will tell.
 

calumet

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Seeker, this is a serious question, offered in the hope that thinking about it will help you. You may or may not find an answer; you may wish to ask the Yi; you may or may not wish to discuss your thoughts and answers here. Your call.

The question is: If you weren't thinking about Thomas, what would you be thinking about?
 
S

seeker

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Actually 2 different questions:

What if I just move on?
35.4 an opportunity for progress that would involve questionable activities

Where do I go from here?
10.2.6 keeping a low profile will bring success and if it works, don't fix it.

Did I miss anything???

Calumet, sometimes we cannot control our thoughts, and believe it or not I do not think about him 24/7, but I have no idea how to forget about him and do not believe I have ever gotten an indication I should. But to answer your question, when I am not thinking of him, I think of my child, my family, my job, things I need to do to get ready for Christmas, the Tao, my beading projects, music, books, my finances, how I am going to fix up my house, how I wish my divorce were final, the beautiful garden I am going to plant when the time comes, my 4 wonderful cats and on Thurs at 9:00 CSI
happy.gif
 
S

seeker

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A little addition to the above: I think I may have given the wrong impression. I have a very full and happy life, there is only one thing missing, so that is what I focus on with Yi. I rarely ask about anything else because there is not much else that I want or need. I am quite fulfilled in virtually every other area of my life.

As for thinking of Thomas, yes I do, but the question today was prompted because his profile popped up on a personals site. This is not the one where I met him, and last week when I was on it, he was not. His profile is recent. I had put one on in an attempt to find someone else, to meet someone else. With all the personal sites out there, it seems a real coincidence that we are suddenly on the same site again, and I do not believe in coincidence. I was minding my own business, and his happy little face was suddenly on my screen. This time I did absolutely nothing to bring him into view, it just happened.
 
S

seeker

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Well, he has not responded yet (I know its only been one day, but he has a history of responding right away, hes considerate that way), but his family is in another state, and his normal days off are Tues and Wed, so it is possible he is not in town and not yet received the message.

Asked if I should ask him out for New Years, 14.6 to 34. Seems positive:
Denning - great achievement, be modest and do not let success go to your head
Wilhelm - Blessed by heaven, nothing that would not further
Karcher - The way is open, everything will benefit.
Huang - great harvest, good fortune, full, but not spilling over.
Lise - spiritual talents decide your value

Seems auspicious, but is it telling me not to read too much into it if he accepts or is the modest reference saying to wait and see if he asks me?
 

luz

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Seeker,

I don't know much about anything, but I do know that us humans fall deeply in love with our 'pain', or our 'dukkha', if you will.

But keep in mind that this pain, this craving, is not really you. But it can control your thoughts and therefore control you. The hardest part about letting it go is that on some level, it gives you pleasure. But this pleasure always leads to pain.

I've read a bunch of your threads and if you take the advice to listen to your brain and not your heart, you will realize that you have done everything you could possibly do to be with him. Now is the time to realize that, to be satisfied that no stone was left unturned and that if you still didn't end up with your 'prize', it's time to move on. You have these strong feelings that you two belong together. If that's the case, you can be sure that somehow you will. Right now it's not happening, and it's not because you haven't put in the effort. So maybe by moving on (and somebody here said there's nothing more attractive than that and I agree completely) you will somehow make him come to you. Or not. It won't matter if you DO move on.

Best of luck.
 
N

northland

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Seeker, consider this: push hard enough and long enough for something and you may eventually succeed in getting what you asked for. However, if 'getting' him is as hard and complicated as this, just imagine the convoluted twists and turns and the compromises and efforts at sustaining an actual relationship with him would entail. You might want to stop and reconsider what you're wishing for.

Best regards,
Jamie
 

calumet

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Hmmmm, I worded that wrong. Probably should have asked, What would you worry/fret/obsess about if you didn't have Thomas to worry/fret/obsess about? You can, gradually and with some difficulty, turn off the worry/fret/obsess process. He recently posted on a personals site? Start turning off the process now.

I tend not to go for crystals and smudge pots as answers to my troubles. I burn myrrh, sandalwood chips, white sage, and fragrant resins; and I have a little vial of attar of rose for when I want a treat. But all of that is only for the esthetics. When in trouble I go straight for modern pharmaceuticals and a good therapist. If you can afford it, you might consider seeing a doctor or a psychiatrist and ask specifically whether a short course of antianxiety medication would be helpful. Having been through a messy divorce with not one but three small children involved, along with several boyfriends whom hindsight tells me I could have done without, I understand that your anxiety is real enough. A good therapist will too.

Just a thought.
 
S

seeker

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Wow, I have so given everyone the wrong impression, or maybe I have just evolved a lot in the last few months. Reading my old threads will give you the background if you are not familiar with who Thomas is or how he fits into my life, but they are who I was, not who I am. When I read them now, it seems like a different person. There are times when I would like to kick myself for being such a wuss. Someone would make a judgement about me or how I felt and I would just jump right in, oh yeah, guess I am, whether they were right or not. In some threads I can see myself repeating the pattern I developed with my ex-husband, letting other people tell me who I was or what I was about. Some of the comments above might have applied to me a few months or even weeks ago, but things have changed. As Martin said, I have spent a lot of time working on what has been spoiled in me. Not that I don't ever have a bad day, but on the whole I am a happy, contented, positive person.

To address some of the comments above, Lightangel, I am not in love with my pain, I am not even in pain. I am approaching this very positively. If it doesn't work out, yeah, I'll cry and I will feel bad, and then I will pick myself up and move on.

Northland, I hear you, and I have even gotten Tarot and Yi readings that indicate success will only come if I do not relax and take things for granted when they are going well. But to me it is worth the effort. And I don't think anything that is truly worth having comes easy. Life takes work, relationships take work. Anyone who says different is selling something.

Calumet, again your assessment is of me several months ago. Been to counseling already thank you, and I do not do drugs other than Tylenol or Ibuprofen. Even when I have an upset stomach I use Sprite and salt (homemade alka seltzer). I do not believe in psychotropic meds for anything that does not involve a chemical imbalance. Emotional pain should be treated with tender love and care, understanding and lots of listening, not drugs. But as I pointed out to Lightangel, I am not in pain, nor am I experiencing anxiety. What I feel is hope and excitement. But even if this does not work out, I will not be in the kind of pain you are talking about.

As for worry or fret, try fantasy and daydream, obsession, ok maybe I will give you that one. But if we look back a few weeks I think you would match me post for post on your Baldy. You worked through yours with laughter, but obsession is obsession, and I wonder how much pain hides behind that laughter. I also wonder how much of what you have said is based on your interpretation of my readings and how much on your own personal prejudices.

You all have, however, helped me to see things from a different perspective. Thomas' favorite saying is positive thoughts bring positive things. So here is my take. 41.3 from Karcher, if you are lonely the friend will come. I think this refers to both of us, but possibly more to him. I accept that he loved his girlfriend and really thought it was going to be something, so he is probably lonely and in pain. 18.6 to 46, I think is more about 46 since 6 is at the top, again just my own little unsubstantiated theory, but looking at the interpretations here, coupled with my theory and some indications in Tarot readings, I think the way to acheive something with Thomas is to develope the best in myself. He is more likely to want to be with me if I am relaxed and positive and lacking in drama. My take on 24 is that it is not about returning to the old cycle but starting anew and it is related to the solstice. I have felt it for days, something amazing is about to happen. 46.2 calling was a good move, he has a positive reaction but may take some time to respond. next few readings, which elicited few responses related to the actual readings...35.4 trying to forget about him and move on at this point would be a mistake, perhaps an indication that I am not ready and would not actually pull it off. 10.2.6 keep going forward carefully, step by step but don't make any sudden moves or push too hard. 14.6, can't find a single thing about this that is negative, but don't think it's time for me to ask him yet. Asked today why he has not called me yet, 64.2, which I think is he doesn't feel the time is right, but I have more research to do, and unfortunately I left my Denning and Wilhelm at work. I can get some of Wilhelm online though, just don't get all 3 books.

One last thing, I am doing fine in all of this. It will work out or not as it is supposed to, but though I believe the universe brings you what is yours, I also think the universe helps those who help themselves. If that were not true, then there would be no need for anyone to do anything ever, just sit down and wait for everything to be brought to you on a silver platter. The trick is finding the balance, knowing when to take action and when to let fate work itself out. But in all of this I have found one thing I had all but lost, my faith. Everyone say Haleleuyah Brother
happy.gif
Its true though, and its why I can go forward with hope and certainty that everything will work out.
 

calumet

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Ah yes, I do know from obsession. Glad you're feeling better than you sound!
 
S

seeker

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Interesting note for 64 I found in the archives from Willow. Talks of 64 as being the exhaustion of the masculine and she asked the person if things were falling apart for the man she was asking about. This would definately fit right now for Thomas. If he and his girlfriend have indeed broken up, things would seem to be falling apart for him. Calumet mentioned about his being on a personals site. I don't begrudge him that. I think it is his misguided attempt to forget his pain and move on. I actually think it shows a certain amount of respect on his part of not turning to me just for comfort. Anyway, I thought the comment on 64 was very interesting, especially in this case.
 

jte

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Crossing posts for ya... from what Brad wrote:

"You develop a sort of personal momentum by staying true to your dao and not getting knocked sideways so much by life."

Yeah.

- Jeff
 
S

seeker

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Ok, so I had a slight moment of anxiety this morning, just a momentary lapse. I woke from this wonderful dream of spending new years with him and suddenly started worrying about what if I waited too long to ask him and he already had plans. But then I calmed down and told myself it would work out as it was supposed to, if he does already have plans, not the end of the world, it will work out in the end.

Just to be sure, asked Yi should I email him and ask him out for new years now? 47.2.5 Hmmm. How will I know when it is the right time to ask him? 25.5 Still working on the first answer (any thoughts appreciated), but I found Dennings interpretation to be enlightening on the second. I think 25 is telling me to follow my instincts and not try to plan this out for the best advantage. Act spontaneously when I feel the time is right and just be sincere and genuine. Line 5 is interesting depending on whose interpretation you look at. A couple of them talk about losing ones cow, at first I thought maybe that indicated he would have plans but they would fall through or maybe he would see his girlfriend with someone else and that would prompt him to move on, but looking at other interpretations I'm not sure. Using Denning again, it says unexpected difficulties that will resolve themselves. Ok, I'm going to get back to work and maybe this will be clearer later. Again, any thoughts are appreciated. And thanks to all for the help the last few days. The brainstorming here has been very enlightening. Even when I disagreed with the comment, at least I felt like someone was listening, and sometimes that is all we really need.
 
S

seeker

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Oops, looked back at the reading and it is 47.2.4, not 47.2.5. Now, looking at Wilhelm, that is a bit clearer. Part of this hex probably reflects the state I was in when I asked, and it may reflect his a bit as well. Looking at line 4 I can see two possibilities, it could be me approaching him, I am hesitating and will cause obstruction by doing so, or it could be him hesitating and causing obstruction, and I have to be patient with him. I am about to head to Orlando for the holidays, but based on this and my interpretation of the 25 answer, I am going to go ahead and email him. I really have nothing to lose, he will say yes or no, and we will go from there.

BTW, Martin, I think your first response has a key in it. You mentioned Thomas not being as important as he was, and in a sense that is true. He is still very important to me, but in a different way. It is not that panicy, the world will come to an end, kind of importance. It's more that I just see a great of potential in a relationship with him. But I am approaching it in a calm, positive way (the brief episode of this morning not withstanding). I think it's that faith thing that I was talking about. I have no doubt that things will work out eventually, as I think we are soul mates. And I don't mean that in the romantic sense, though that is certainly there, but it's recognizing a kindred spirit, someone who was meant to cross your path and changes your life forever. But if that perception is wrong, then I also have no doubt that I will get through it and be better for the experience.
 

martin

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".. someone who was meant to cross your path and changes your life forever" - yes, I recognize that, Seeker. And Thomas is important, it's not either him or your river. Because he - and what he awakens in you - is apparently very much a part of your river.
What I got from your (earlier) readings is that the I Ching would like you to focus more on what is "in here" (in or close to yourself) and less on what happens "out there", without denying its importance. In other words, it would like you to be intimate with yourself.
Well, that's what I understood. Does it make sense to you?
In any case, faith, trust and things like that seem to be in here.
happy.gif
 

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