Hex 35 UC then Hex 56.3>35 confused myself

[Hujambo]

Hi, I'm very new to this forum, as well as quite new to using the I Ching as an objective feedback/guidance tool on my personal journey. I have been browsing the archives for a few months now to gain further insight into my readings, but today, I had a major insight about a prior reading that I didn't understand - one of those Aha! moments. So with this new faith in the usefulness of the tool I went ahead and cast about an idea that spontaneously arose directly after that moment, ie. I wrote it in an email to a friend moments later, even though I had never really consciously acknowledged this particular wish before.

I get the sense that X and I (myself) will collaborate on a project very soon. Is this correct?

Hex 35 Unchanging

Initially I thought, yay! That describes us to a tee. I have worked with him as his CIO in the past and we achieved amazing things, he is so rich now - I am of course, flat broke and unemployed. His team behaved in an insanely jealous and obstructive fashion and I kind of fell on my sword to bring something to light. There were shenanigans going on that I couldn't quite get enough evidence for, as in the people he trusted, weren't trustworthy. They were essentially running interference so that I couldn't prove or even raise my suspicions without it seeming like sour grapes or worse. It did not help that he kept telling everyone I am like his sister. He is correct, but they don't need to be party to how connected we are/were. It placed a target firmly on my back. He has since discovered that one of his business partners was stealing from him.

Anyway, I did some looking around in the archives to see if I was missing the point, and started to get very concerned that I was totally putting all my eggs in one basket by holding out for this opportunity (not to work with his team again, but to collaborate on a new project). We aren't set to meet again until July 10th, but I intend to ask for his assistance and advice. Late last year he was totally impressed with the business I was trying to start, but have now run out of resources to get to launch stage. Thus I must attract income immediately. Of course, I have been looking for a job, but no luck. X and I are a natural team/complement to each other. He has skills, experience and attitude that I do not, and vice versa. That said, objectively that doesn't necessarily mean we should be collaborating right now. So I did a follow up to see if I was on or off track...

What steps should I be taking to increase my income now, if any?
56.3>35

For some reason, I read the determination and it says to me, "you haven't got a clue what you are doing at all, do you?" You just burnt down the inn and lost a loyal servant.
I can't make sense of it, but it's obvious there is some insight for me to gain with 35 twice - and I am missing the point totally.

If anyone can help me to unravel the little tangle I just made for myself, I would be very grateful.

 

[ginnie]

Well, it seems like you are about to do -- or are considering doing -- something that will be very disruptive and counterproductive.

Why not wait until the proposed collaboration is more underway before pushing ahead . . . Your hexagram 35 uc suggests that the idea of the collaboration is sound.

It is the attitude of pushing ahead too aggressively that usually alienates the helper and burns the inn down.

 

[Hujambo]

Thank you so so much Ginnie. I couldn't work out whether I should be burning down inns to get to the 35UC scenario, whether it was inappropriate to even aim for that collaboration, or whether the I Ching was advising to change nothing just yet.

I was considering pulling out all stops to try get a job right now - you know, devoting every resource to that short-term goal. Of course, if I do that, I could easily eliminate the possibility of this collaboration occurring anytime soon. He would probably need to feel sure that I could commit for the duration of anything we worked on together and that I won't be tempted away by "greener grass" elsewhere.

Instead I think I will just concentrate on letting anything that doesn't fit with the future I want, fall away. Perhaps, I'll give the self-doubt a miss for a while.

Interestingly and just an aside regarding burning down inns. A few months before the last time I started working for him, I happened to be at his office for a visit when the building caught on fire. He wasn't actually there at the time, I was early. I noticed the problem before the alarm went off (beware of flickering lights) and quickly took control of the situation. Delegating people to get everyone out of the building, I went straight to the server-room, picked up the primary server and the firewall and walked out the door with them. Regardless of backups and the like, the fastest way to get his business back up and running was to install those devices at another location, so that's what I did, and within a few hours of the fire the business was back up and running with almost no disruption to the customers. He offered me a job a few months after that. 56.3>35 kind of reminds me of this entire scenario even though it happened in 2010.

 

[Tim K]

h35 speaks of audience with the king, where the prince (you) is given many horses (opportunities) for his campaign.

56.3 means you've lost the temporary security of the inn, and that business is not going well (it doesn't serve you). But it's time to move on, the King awaits you!

Present him your business plan and expand, advance.

56.3 Can also mean 'accidents happen, so what?'. Forgive your friend's past misdeeds. Move on.

Richmond also writes that in h35 you doubt yourself and not sure how to progress.
The key is to still your mind, be tranquil and allow this new cycle to carry you forward.

 

[Hujambo]

Thanks Ashteroid! Nice and succinct.

To add, I have spent a bit of time checking out different interpretations of Hex 56 - the entire hexagram so clearly describes the way I have progressed through the majority of this life. No family, no support, always with one eye on the exit door, not wanting entanglements, gathering the skills and experience I need to reach an ideal - uninterrupted flow (for want of a better phrase). I have experienced every aspect of all the lines in the hexagram, repeatedly and my catchphrase at times of despair is "I just want to go home" - having no idea where that is or what it means.

This morning I remembered that I have Thomas Cleary's Taoist I Ching, of which I understand very little on a conscious level, but the text frequently moves my thoughts along and works well with my intuition. Considering I had asked about what steps I should take, if any, when I received 56.3, here's what it says:

Burning the lodge on a journey, you lose your attendants. Even if righteous there is danger.
Explanation:
When you are firm without flexibility, are unable to still inside and insist on stillness outside, totally cutting off social relations, upsetting the ignorant and ordinary, this is like burning the lodge on a journey, losing your attendants. On a journey on which you burn the lodge, though your travel may be correct, you arouse the hatred and suspicion of others, so this still is a road that brings on danger and disaster. This is travel in which firmness is excessive.

I can see how I have run into this pitfall - I no longer need nor desire my current transient state. Essentially I have isolated myself more and more from society in the last couple of years. On the other hand, during that time my creativity and connection to myself and to the world in general has flourished to a point where I no longer need that kind of supposed safety.

My actions are frequently experienced as a shock to to the people around, even though I am naturally quite gentle, generous and helpful. It could be the intensity of my focus that scares people. Social contact has commonly involved lots of people using extreme measures to prevent or discourage me from doing anything that wasn't received/validated by some kind of outside authority. Pretty sure I have a sign on my back that says this girl needs a bit of indignant scolding to pull her into line. I tend to eventually respond with defiance because I experience that kind of thing as an attack - it erodes my self-esteem. i.e Why do my personal ideals have anything to do with or need to be subject to input from people who aren't even interested in my self-development? What has it got to do with them? This attitude hasn't served me well in terms of peace. Thus I did a full retreat (withdrew my support from everyone) so that at least I can find and experience the self that exists without constant provocation. It was worth it, but unnecessarily difficult and lonely, and in many ways - I threw the baby out with the bath water.

In particular, now that I have relaxed my own rigid perspective a little, it occurs to me that X was deeply hurt by my rapid exit from his life and probably felt that I had judged him and found him wanting. That problem was cleared up really quickly when I finally told him that I had thought someone was stealing from him and was too uncomfortable in a situation where it was dangerous to attempt to bring the issue to light. He confirmed my suspicions had been accurate thus helping me to release the entire experience. It also proved to him once again the extent/nature of my loyalty. Any blame or discomfort just fell away the first time I called him after the loooong absence. I said "How are you?" and he responded with "Much better now that I am talking with you."

So even though it is not my usual pragmatic, cover-all-bases approach, as a set of steps that I should take based on Yi's advice.... I will go ahead and put all my eggs in one basket. for good or ill, the lodge is already burned down. I feel as though it is important for our relationship that I give him an opportunity to help me. If I get a job right now, or another opportunity arises, I will never ask him. In fact, I've never let him or anyone else help me in any direct fashion - preferring to remain free of obligations. I am always the giver of help rather than the receiver. It was a role I identified with, but it has nothing to do with uninterrupted flow - which was the original goal.

So now is the time to go home, realise that this journey has been completed (the seclusion part anyway), to gather my family around me, or to return to my "spiritual family" and again pledge my loyalty to the king for all to see. Some of the people around him are already showing annoyance that we are back in contact, (we all know how sycophants operate) so I am sure I can expect a repeat of all the old stuff, but also a chance to handle it in a more mature fashion. After all, I am his mirror and the kingdom needs us. hehehe

Also no need to fear or doubt an action that I have already set in motion. Awesome reminder. Even the simple discussion of a casting with Ashteroid and Ginnie's input has expanded my engagement with the world and of course, my understanding. Much gratitude to you both.

 

[Hujambo]

Here's a little gift back to anyone who might read this thread... something I wrote at the beginning of 2015.

At times like this
Outside of time there is only one
Who arrives, departs and returns
Who is and will always be
Who says “Existence, I am here”

Inside of time the game is up
Gilt-edged armaments speak of tradition
Heritage and other things that tantalize
Paint thy face one thousand ways

Along the edge of time there are many ruins
Crumbled fortresses and broken moats as
Chaos and order reunite in joyous exuberance
Whispering the spirit of freedom to the wind

At times like this I exist beyond reason
Afloat in the life raft of myself
With a secret smile and a wink to the infinite
As though we planned the whole thing.
*

 

[Tim K]

What a nice poem!

I see many references to the soul's life outside Earth (outside time).
'As though we planned the whole thing' and between lives planning stage.
If you are interested in this try reading Dolores Cannon, she reveals information about hidden aspects of our soul/higher-self/aliens/spirit world/astral .. through speaking with person's soul under hypnosis.
e.g. 'Keepers of the Garden', 'The Three Waves of Volunteers', 'Legend of Starcrash', 'Between Death And Life' to name a few.

 

[Hujambo]

Thanks Ashteroid, glad you enjoyed the poem.

I've just had a great old time checking out Dolores Cannon. What a trip! Second time someone has suggested I read her books. The first time was 20 years ago. Back then I had no idea how to "suspend disbelief" long enough to take action on the suggestion. Whit's fur ye'll no go past ye.

 

[Hujambo]

Just a quick update. I have completely misinterpreted this reading. It is quite clear from today's conversation with X, that he is not the person to ask for help and that I must abandon that plan or risk the friendship. That said, we have reconnected in a wonderful way, so there is no loss there and good for my own growth to re-open the communications and practice forgiveness. As for practical reality and survival though, he ain't the king in this reading. Thus the self-doubt I was experiencing was actually a warning.

 

[Hujambo]

A little update. The meeting with X occurred on July 10. He rang to postpone since he is fasting and wasn't feeling the best. 10 minutes after the call, he sent me a message saying that he felt much better after talking with me and the meeting proceeded. These gifts of horses, they may not be physical at all.

In his words, "This morning I was hungry now I am not. Communicating with you has filled me up spiritually." Also, as he was leaving he said, I can't wait another month to see you, send me a calendar invite for 2 weeks from now and we will eat together. I am reminded of "Granted audience three times in one day." From the conjunction of these two readings, I believe the advice of 56.3>35 is about not spending energy on activities that will distract me from this place of integrity/awareness that I find myself in - to allow the Hex 35 story between us to play out. It is possible we are the "king" for each other.