Hex 44 - 33 Are they contradictory???

[velvetviper]

My girlfriend and I broke up some time ago, but she is still always on my mind. This is becoming tiresome and borders on obsession. I asked the Oracle, "Why the hell can't I get P. out of my mind?", ito which it replied hex 44 into 33. These hexs seem contradictory to me and I am having trouble unravelling their meaning. Can somebody pls shed some light on the relationship between these two hexs.


Thnaks,

VV

p.s. long time reader - first time poster

 

[candid]

Greetings, VV.

Getting rid of a splinter isn't just a matter of removing it. Its also getting rid of the irritation or infection caused by the intrusion of foreign material into our body, and in this case, mind and heart. Emotional infection is the result of emotional obsession. The pain is a constant reminder of what used to be a part of us (like the splinter), but is no more - only the pain is left. 44 can easily represent this intrusion of painful emotions caused by irritation.

33 as the relating hexagram, is what this is about for you; how to successfully withdraw from the disturbing intrusion of dark emotions.

There's an old pop song, which as corny as it sounds, echoes of truth: Only love can break a heart. Only love can mend it again.

I can relate.

Candid

 

[martin]

Perhaps there is no contradiction as hexagram 33
seems to be a further development of the situation
depicted by hexagram 44 (one yin line at the bottom of 44 has become two yin lines in 33).

I guess these two hexagrams together mean that
there is progress: in 44 the old situation is
influencing you life strongly, while in 33 it's more distant, allthough it's still in your heart and mind.

Anyway, it takes time, good luck!

Martin

 

[michael]

Hi W,

This is a really bad time for you and I join with Candid in saying I can relate to how you're feeling.

I'm a novice with the I Ching and I bow to the greater experience of the others here but having gone through this myself several times, admittedly many years ago now, your posting touched me and prompted me into responding instead of just sitting back and reading.

I have to say Hexagrams 44 and 33 sum the situation up pretty well. The I Ching really spoke to you. Perhaps it's the time that's passed that lets me see it this way. If I was still hurting, maybe I'd think differently.

I'm sure the others will correct me if my inexperience lets me down here but here's my interpretation.

Hex 44 is telling you how much "P" has got under your skin and that still thinking of her is drawing out the emotional torment of your breakup. The second changing line is saying that brooding on this, or being angry or obsessing isn't helping you. It's tearing you up and you need to find a way to calm your mind, to be more gentle with yourself, more accepting of things, though I know how hard that can be, especially if perhaps somewhere in a secret corner of your heart, you harbour hopes of a reunion with "P".

Only you know this, but also in this changing line I read something about how carrying something over from your breakup, some emotional shrapnel, can infect your dealings with other people, maybe preventing you from meeting someone else.

Hex 33 is telling you how you can protect yourself from further pain by actually retreating, by backing away and hiding your heart from the dark emotions still running through you, so preventing further damage. It's easier said than done, I know, but hex 33 is telling you how to make it better, for you.

I broke up with a girl I thought was heaven sent. It was a bitter break and she rubbed salt in it by immediately taking up with someone else, but in a way this helped me to distance myself from her - to retreat. I even somehow managed to fool myself into thinking I'd never met her, that we were strangers. It was a little crazy but it calmed me, let me see things clearly and simply get on with the day to day. Six months later I met the girl I was to marry. And I've been married for 15 years.If I'd known about the I Ching back then, 44 and 33 are exactly what it might have told me, and it would have been right.

Anyway, one day at a time W.

Good luck.

 

[lenardthefast]

Hi W,

Just a confirmation here of points conveyed thru Michael's post. Am at present, after approx. 20 months of misery, feeling confident that I will survive a similar break-up of the type you describe. Received H44-H33 only about a million times in the last year. I definitely have empathy.

IMHO, in order to love, we have to become vulnerable, in that vulnerable state we can expect to experience pain at the relationship's dissolution proportionate to the depth of our love. The greater the love, the more exquisite the pain. Does this mean I will not allow myself to experience love again by not ever becoming that vulnerable? Not in a New York second!

When you can honestly experience a thought that says approximately this, "What did I ever see in that person?", you know you'r almost there. Hang in there, it DOES get better.

Namaste,
Leonard

 

[velvetviper]

Thanks so much for all the empathy and insights. All of the comments have been helpful.


pax,


VV