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Hex 44:5

fatequeen

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Hey all,

New here but have lurked for quite a while ;) I've had this rather strange online romance for about 2.5 months now. Tried to meet about 3-4 times but schedules wouldn't allow.. and some issues too: we've "broken up" already about 5 times already due to some overt sexual comments he made and some insulting (more snippy) comments I've made... lol!!!!. I always think I won't hear from him again but he seems to come back eventually and vice versa. His most recent email he sent a week after I sent him an email (which I was not snippy in at all). He wrote: "I am currently hunkered down in work mode, and contemplating becoming a monk. Hope you are well."

I wrote back: "Well, I'm sure you'd look stunning in orange. Actually.. I know someone who used to be an entertainment lawyer in LA and now works very closely with the Dalai Lama. Let me know if you'd like me to put in a good word for you." [we are both in the music business]

He more than likely rec'd my email because I know from experience his phone also receives them. He usually responds right back but hasn't yet. First question... do you think my response seemed snippy in anyway?

I asked the ching what he's feeling about me. It came back with 44:5 - 50.
 

willowfox

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First question... do you think my response seemed snippy in anyway? Yes.

I asked the ching what he's feeling about me. It came back with 44:5 - 50.

It would appear that he is trying to act with integrity toward you, he obviously has feelings for you but is acting reserved and restrained at least for the moment anyway.
 

fatequeen

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My comment about someone who works closely with the Dalai Lama is actually true... but I was just trying to joke about putting in a good word for him.

He responded: "Yes, prison regulation orange. Any gigs this weekend?" [he has said a few times he will just cruise by one of my gigs to meet me sometime - although then he invited me to one of his and also mentioned he has a friend who lives near me and he might he visiting soon and insinuated meeting then too]

Me: "No.. no gigs. You won't be able to scope me out or throw things at me until next month.;) "

He didn't respond for a few hours.

I wrote again: "Um.. hello?"

Him: "And um, hello to you. Sorry. Feeding dog, visiting Mom in nursing home, getting bike inspected, cleaning stuff...you know... " [he also deleted my previous email line about having to wait until next month ]

Me: "Oh OK. Later. L."

Him: "Nothing personal.......I like tucking my phone and email away. Do you?"

Me: "Yup... had an almost entirely unplugged weekend away last weekend and loved it."

No response but he did pop back on the dating site I met him on about an hour later with his profile still hidden. I asked the ching this morning what he's feeling about me: 4:4 - 64. Then I asked what he wants with me and got: 8:1,3 - 63. I don't know what to do to rectify the situation! I was going to write him and be very direct and bring up that it appears I seem to offend him quite often... as shown by the fact he seems to drop communication and delete lines I write he isn't maybe particular fond of when responding sometimes.
 
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willowfox

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I asked the ching this morning what he's feeling about me: 4:4 - 64.

It suggests that he feels that you seem to be caught up in your own foolish behaviour, and feels it is probably for the best to let you get on with it as eventually you will see that you are being silly and hopefully some humiliation will bring you to your senses.


Then I asked what he wants with me and got: 8:1,3 - 63

He obviously wants a relationship but probably feels that you were the one but you seem no longer to act like the one he did want. So now he justs wants to be on sociable terms with getting to close.
 

fatequeen

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He hasn't contacted me since our last exchange... but I asked the Ching if he WANTS to:

3:1,2,3,5 - (changing rapidly) 46

I am wondering if I should send him an email clarifying why I sent him the "um.. hello?" email after. I sent it because it had been hours since his last response and I was worried if, once again, my last comment had somehow offended him. He has in the past dropped communication more than once after a comment I've made... only to send an entirely new one days or even a week later.
 

willowfox

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He hasn't contacted me since our last exchange... but I asked the Ching if he WANTS to:

3:1,2,3,5 - (changing rapidly) 46

It shows that he would very much like to contact you but is feeling somewhat wary because of your continued barbed replies, perhaps he is becoming just a little fed up with your remarks and is probably hoping that you will stop, so he has gone into waiting mode until the inspiration to contact you jumps on him once again.
 

Trojina

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He didn't respond for a few hours.

I wrote again: "Um.. hello?"

Him: "And um, hello to you. Sorry. Feeding dog, visiting Mom in nursing home, getting bike inspected, cleaning stuff...you know... " [he also deleted my previous email line about having to wait until next month ]

Me: "Oh OK. Later. L."

Him: "Nothing personal.......I like tucking my phone and email away. Do you?"

Me: "Yup... had an almost entirely unplugged weekend away last weekend and loved it."

No response but he did pop back on the dating site I met him on about an hour later with his profile still hidden. I asked the ching this morning what he's feeling about me: 4:4 - 64. Then I asked what he wants with me and got: 8:1,3 - 63. I don't know what to do to rectify the situation! I was going to write him and be very direct and bring up that it appears I seem to offend him quite often... as shown by the fact he seems to drop communication and delete lines I write he isn't maybe particular fond of when responding sometimes.
Hes told you here why he hasn't responded. He wants time out, his mums in a nursing home etc etc. I feel you are reading rejection into this where there is none and he hasn't said you have offended him nor does it seem to me you have made any 'barbed comments' at all.

Be realistic, this is an internet connection not a relationship yet. If you have never met how can you or he know about how you feel for each other. I mean i know you can feel a connection through the net but I really think face to face meeting is essential to really know how you feel for someone.
 

Trojina

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He hasn't contacted me since our last exchange... but I asked the Ching if he WANTS to:

3:1,2,3,5 - (changing rapidly) 46

It shows that he would very much like to contact you but is feeling somewhat wary because of your continued barbed replies, perhaps he is becoming just a little fed up with your remarks and is probably hoping that you will stop, so he has gone into waiting mode until the inspiration to contact you jumps on him once again.
I'd really like to know how you figure this out Wfox ? Why would this mean he really wants to contact her ?
 

willowfox

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I'd really like to know how you figure this out Wfox ? Why would this mean he really wants to contact her ?
Quite easily, lines 1,2,5 are suggesting that he wants to go ahead and contact but line 3 is telling him to wait for a while before going into action and Hex 46 says hey ho and away we go lets do it. Of course a few of the lines say that he feels rather insulted by her remarks as well, that is why he is a bit hesitant for the moment until he gets over it
 

fatequeen

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My barbed comments... I suppose it's true. We have a long history of "slaps" actually. It started by him making a rather lewd comment in IM if he showed up at one of my gigs. He asked if he offended me and I just said "ciao" and we both left our IM windows hanging on the dating site for about 20 mins before I finally logged off. He emailed me the next day at my personal email how he wasn't able to make my gig and what he did the next day (all clean talk). I didn't respond for days and he emailed me on the dating site and asked if his "parking lot humor" had offended me. I said I had been caught off guard yes. He said "I am a bag of wind".

Last time I emailed him he made another lewd comment. I emailed him a sad face because he hadn't responded to my last email in days. He said "That's not a very happy face". I said "No communicado? Porque?" He said he had been really busy then "You want to porque???" I wrote: "OK. Let me put it on the table for you: I am interested... maybe even morbidly at this point... however, I have NO idea what I might feel for you in person... as you don't of me. And who knows.. given fencing swords and marshmallows we might end duelling each other or making Smores. I would not be a guaranteed lay if that is your fixed criteria." He wrote: "It was a joke.....I KNOW it's pronounced por-kay. I'm not looking for a guaranteed anything. I'm not even looking, actually. I take a fairly Zen approach to everything :) I enjoyed your table and your use of "morbidly"! It would be nice to meet up....I still would wander by a gig, although I MIGHT be in (town) soon visiting a friend. Isn't that near you?" I said "yes I'm about 30 minutes north." "Where's that NH? "No I live in MA... near (town).... which is near (town).. which is kind of near NH.. which is near Canada. I live in an igloo on a lake actually." OK that time I wasn't trying consciously to be snippy but looking back I was a little offended he didnt' even seem to remember I live in the same state as him! He didn't respond to that email either. I ended up emailing him "Oh c'mon! What can you possibly have against igloos!???!" He responded right away "Nothing. Been dealing with some unforseen complicated issues. Oy" I responded "Vey. Sounds bad. Good luck straightening things out"
No response until the latest email he sent....

Anyway... yeah it's gone back and forth like this going on 3 months now.
 
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meng

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At first glance, it would be easy and natural to write this sort of thing off as internet craziness. However, I'm one who tries to look at 44 with both eyes (including the positive one), and see whatever otherwise inaccessible creativity might be lending itself. Line 5 is a serious line (as lines go), rich with potential; and the fact that it leads to 50 leads me to share this "morbid" curiosity as to where it's going.

My purely subjective impression: He sounds either like a bad guy or a guy who wants to come off as a bad guy (i.e orange prison suit), and you seem like a woman who is attracted to bad guys (or guys who want to look back). Who is to say what a good relationship looks like for either of you? Safety should be taken seriously, naturally, but this thing sounds like a ritual 44 dance to me. Hey, if nothing else, maybe he'll inspire a song, or something.
 

fatequeen

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"He sounds either like a bad guy or a guy who wants to come off as a bad guy (i.e orange prison suit), and you seem like a woman who is attracted to bad guys (or guys who want to look back)."
Good insight meng... that is actually what I am puzzled by as well. I can't tell if he really is an ass or not.. lol!!! The fact he made yet another sexual comment when I contacted him when he knows they bother me made me think he just wanted to get rid of me... but then he pops up a few days/week later again.. this time asking if I had a gig.

I am almost tempted to send him an email saying "Hey if you're not really interested can you do me a favor and not contact me anymore?" but from some reason my arm goes limp when I go to write it and yet am I checking and looking forward to getting another email from him! Somebody slap me!!!!!!
 

fatequeen

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****! I emailed him:

Hey... just for the record... I didn't send that "hello?" email the other night because I felt you were long in responding. I sent it because I thought my last comment had somehow offended... yet again. ;)

On another note... I might be putting together an original group, but unfamiliar with the music scene in and around [city] these days. Any suggestions for clubs where original bands can play?

I asked the ching what he's feeling about me: 3:1,2,6 - shifting to 59.
 
M

meng

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What city?

Looks like he thinks you may be too much trouble to get it on with, so he's letting it go.
 

fatequeen

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?????? How did you come to that conclusion? I thought 59 was at least a good sign?
Boston
 

fatequeen

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He responded.. don't know if it's all sarcasm...

"Gee, I know nothing about the local original music scene, except people seem to feel there is none! I think this is probably the case in a lot of places: the whole industry has changed on every level- there ARE a lot of new opportunities, tho!"
 
M

meng

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?????? How did you come to that conclusion? I thought 59 was at least a good sign?
Boston
Home of Jonathan Richman and the Modern Lovers. We had a the same manager for awhile, and I opened for him at Brooklyn College. Sorry, don't know the showcase scene there.

Well, 59 can be "good", in that you let go of things, lighten up, become less rigid. It could mean those things in your reading too.

The way I 'felt' it was, it seems this relationship requires a lot of work, at least from a guy's (like me) point of view. Letting it go is an easy thing to do. Guys tend to be lazy when it comes to complicated relationships. chuckles..
 

fatequeen

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"Jonathan Richman and the Modern Lovers" Hmmm.. sorry not familiar...

We chatted some more about the biz and then I sent him a separate email: "So what's new with you? Still in hunkered down mode?" I sent another email right after: "Oh and meant to mention a while ago... that blue-lit pic of you is beautiful. Sorry.... inconvenient second thoughts..."

I asked the ching again what he's feeling about me now: 37:1,2 - 57

?????? Is it good or bad????
 
M

meng

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JR was before your time, I guess, though I think he's still playing around the Bay area.

You'd do better to drop the good/bad from interpreting the IC, imo. Though I will say that you can receive good and bad answer interpretations, if that's what you feel you need, just not from me. ;)

37, called family, shows the affect of who and what you are, the way the wind and heat rise from fire. It recognizes the components which make up our constitution, and the constitution of those we hang with. Lines 1 and 2 show reticence, holding your energy inward, preserving it for something useful. 57 likewise is the effect you have on others as well as the effect they have on you. It is that which penetrates. So, is that good or bad? Or, does it simply show the nature of what you're dealing with?
 
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