Hex 51.3 to 55 about status of a failing relationship

[lexxmexx]

Hi everyone, my 8 year relationship is currently on the rocks, and partner wants to move out. I had consulted the iching about the current status of our relationship and I received 51.3.

It seems that 51-Thunder/Shock is referring to my sadness at her suggestion of separation and fear of what will happen next. Changing line 3 seems to suggest that I must do something so that the situation can turn into 55 Abundance, which I believe is a good thing, whatever that may be?

I had tried pleading, peaceful discussion with her but she is totally unmoved and is headstrong about the separation. This had been going on for a week and no improvement at all. I am at a loss as to what to do next.

My interpretation of the hexagrams seems to be positive thing but I don't see the situation improving.

Can guide me on understanding this better and what do I need to do?

Thanks in advance.

 

[my_key]

Hi lexxmexx

51 provides a message that can be seen as a fertile shock. It transforms your world through your process of reflection and rebalancing. It invites you to address and correct your stance towards your anxiety and fears 51.3 says the process involving the renewing of everything is underway. This, fortunately, will point you in a positive direction where you will connect more readily with all the great things in life you have missing out on (55).

... or it might mean nothing like this for you.

Good Luck

 

[lexxmexx]

Hi my key,

Thanks for your input. Are you able to explain further in the context of my situation?

 

[rosada]

Status of relationship?
51.3 - 55.
You are 51. Shocked to learn your relationship has reached 55. The Peak.
Line 51.3 urges you to do all you can to bring things up to date with your friend so you don’t spend over long morning the past but can smoothly move ahead.
By bringing things up to date I think this can mean anything from fulfilling past promises - like returning library books or changing the lightbulbs - to speaking very honestly with each other so you truly understand what it was all about and if there’s anything that needs to be said or done so you can truly wish each other well and move on.

Insidentally. Saturn and Pluto are changing signs this month - time for a major shift in viewpoints and Pluto into Aquarius particularly accentuates the urge to be free of constraints. You may find the two of you actually want to continue the partnership if you’re not seeing each other 24/7!

 

[my_key]

Hi my key,

Thanks for your input. Are you able to explain further in the context of my situation?

In the context of your situation Yi is advocating that personal reflection will bring a new perspective for you and this rebalancing will allow you to move forward in a positive direction to be determined for you by you.

My speculation on what you need to reflect on or the direction things are heading will be of little help to you. Only you know the anxieties and fears that are dancing around inside you.

Good Luck

 

[The Hermit]

Hi @lexxmexx, could you share the reason(s) she gave you of why she did not want to continue the relationship? In my experience, third lines are about things that already happened, in this case, rupture. It is hard to accept the break up but what is the alternative? Never seen an ex partner respond positively to pleading. It produces the opposite effect. And by the way, what do you think made her want to end the relationship?

 

[lexxmexx]

Hi @lexxmexx, could you share the reason(s) she gave you of why she did not want to continue the relationship? In my experience, third lines are about things that already happened, in this case, rupture. It is hard to accept the break up but what is the alternative? Never seen an ex partner respond positively to pleading. It produces the opposite effect. And by the way, what do you think made her want to end the relationship?

Hi Hermit,

Her reason was that I had neglected her and claimed that I had never cherished her. I am going through mid life crisis at the moment and have a lot of things in my mind, I just want to have some quiet time to myself. This had happened 3 years before for the same reason but we patched up, now it happened again.

I thought 51.3 was referring to my shock of her decision to leave me and 55 is an optimistic outcome where we patched up again. It has been a week and things are not looking good, she had been giving me cold shoulder and refused to talk to me. Looks like I had misinterpreted it and gave myself false hopes.

 

[The Hermit]

Hi Hermit,

Her reason was that I had neglected her and claimed that I had never cherished her. I am going through mid life crisis at the moment and have a lot of things in my mind, I just want to have some quiet time to myself. This had happened 3 years before for the same reason but we patched up, now it happened again.

I thought 51.3 was referring to my shock of her decision to leave me and 55 is an optimistic outcome where we patched up again. It has been a week and things are not looking good, she had been giving me cold shoulder and refused to talk to me. Looks like I had misinterpreted it and gave myself false hopes.

Life happens in time frames subjected to entropy. Things wear down, they start to change and transform into something we cannot recognize anymore, especially when you neglected to notice them for a while. They were there, not dead yet, transforming into something. Once transformed they became something else. For good. Could be a loved one turning into a complete stranger, who doesnt ´seems to care about you. Or at least one could feel the cold. Entropy means sustainable energy is fleeting, something has to be done or it dies. But these signs are slow to be perceived. Here something else happened. You didn´t see it coming, or did you?

Get clarity. Disengage, let gracefully go and accept that when something has been neglected, it will transform into something not willing to keep its original intention. That could be also you. When the deal is dead, the deal is dead so to speak. You know in your heart you won´t trade anymore. thats the first step to selfembracing unconditional love we need when grieving romantic love. Still, I am sure there is a possibility you will come back to IC and cast over again, maybe even to see how to manipulate the situation. Hope is magical in its essence. Have fun. But be warned. You are playing with fire. The mind is not something to play with. IC maybe just a toy for aliens. But not your mind. That is human. Cherish it. It will get you through.

 

[lexxmexx]

Hi Hermit,

I know I had been clouded with too much frustrations in life that I had vented it all on her when she was innocent and did not deserve any of my nonsense. I feel very repentant and tried to seek her forgiveness but all in vain.

Yes, I am very tempted to ask IC on what to do win her love back but I am sure I will not get a positive answer or something cryptic who will not make any sense to me.

 

[lexxmexx]

Status of relationship?
51.3 - 55.
You are 51. Shocked to learn your relationship has reached 55. The Peak.
Line 51.3 urges you to do all you can to bring things up to date with your friend so you don’t spend over long morning the past but can smoothly move ahead.
By bringing things up to date I think this can mean anything from fulfilling past promises - like returning library books or changing the lightbulbs - to speaking very honestly with each other so you truly understand what it was all about and if there’s anything that needs to be said or done so you can truly wish each other well and move on.

Insidentally. Saturn and Pluto are changing signs this month - time for a major shift in viewpoints and Pluto into Aquarius particularly accentuates the urge to be free of constraints. You may find the two of you actually want to continue the partnership if you’re not seeing each other 24/7!

Hi Rosada,

I had apologized to her for not being good to her but she insisted on leaving. Looks like I am the only one who wants to salvage the relationship, it is very one sided now.

 

[The Hermit]

Hi Hermit,

I know I had been clouded with too much frustrations in life that I had vented it all on her when she was innocent and did not deserve any of my nonsense. I feel very repentant and tried to seek her forgiveness but all in vain.

Yes, I am very tempted to ask IC on what to do win her love back but I am sure I will not get a positive answer or something cryptic who will not make any sense to me.

Find the one sad love song you feel identified with and study what it says. Art, especially music is the shaman´s way back into the heart, its the path of healing. Study your sadness, accept its friendship and learn all you can about yourself. When on this path of grief, self rejection or anger at the other is the easiest way to get lost. Study you sadness for at least a month. Study your sadness until you feel you know what to improve in your life. Then cast again. I will give you some feedback, I am still around.

 

[rosada]

Interesting! While I was just thinking about this reading and how you’ve mentioned your sadness and her seeming indifference, in the back of my mind I started hearing The Beatles’ “She’s Got a Ticket to Ride”. The lyrics seem to capture the feeling of 23.6 perfectly!

Wilhelm:
A large fruit remains uneaten.
The noble one get’s a carriage.
The small one’s home is split apart.

The Beatles:
I think I’m going to be sad. I think it’s today.
The girl who’s driving me mad is going away.
She’s got a ticket to ride.
She’s got a ticket to ride.
She’s got a ticket to ride and she don’t care.”

 

[Trojina]

I think it is quite important to read what the I Ching says and 51.3 says

'Shock revives, revives.
Shock moves without blunder.'

I have written of my experience of this line in wiki, here it is

Notice this line has turned up as a prediction that there will be no cause for the melancholy or weariness experienced around the question. It's come up when I've almost given up on something, and then suddenly out of the blue things start to happen ! The 'revive' is what this feels like. It is like a shot of caffeine, wake up, things are happening, do not despair, get going ! Trojina

So yes this is a shock that revives, shakes one up in a good way.

Get clarity. Disengage, let gracefully go and accept that when something has been neglected, it will transform into something not willing to keep its original intention. That could be also you. When the deal is dead, the deal is dead so to speak. You know in your heart you won´t trade anymore. thats the first step to selfembracing unconditional love we need when grieving romantic love. Still, I am sure there is a possibility you will come back to IC and cast over again, maybe even to see how to manipulate the situation. Hope is magical in its essence. Have fun. But be warned. You are playing with fire. The mind is not something to play with. IC maybe just a toy for aliens. But not your mind. That is human. Cherish it. It will get you through.

I can't see what connection that has to 51.3. Nor can I see why the 'IC maybe just a toy for aliens'. Obviously the I Ching is for humans I doubt it would be that much use for aliens who don't know what horses and carriages and second wives and farmers are. That is unless aliens also have all those things on their planet too.

I thought 51.3 was referring to my shock of her decision to leave me and 55 is an optimistic outcome where we patched up again. It has been a week and things are not looking good, she had been giving me cold shoulder and refused to talk to me. Looks like I had misinterpreted it and gave myself false hopes.

If you are listening to the I Ching itself then it's certainly not a pessimistic answer that's for sure !

I mean 55 as the relating hexagram is not the 'outcome' but the surround, the place you are, the context and with one line changing that line is very important.

Also I'm wondering you think you misinterpreted? I don't think you have. I mean I really don't like to give false hope but we do need to heed Yi given it is an I Ching forum and this is an answer asking you not to despair.

And also the very last thing this line would counsel is to wallow in sad songs! It is not a sad line! Look at it it's about as far from sad as it gets !


'Shock revives, revives.
Shock moves without blunder.'

Where's the sadness in that!

Now I'm not saying you won't be sad nor that there won't be trouble, but this is a lively warm line not cold despondent brooding.

Interesting! While I was just thinking about this reading in the back of my mind I started hearing The Beatles’ “She’s Got a Ticket to Ride”. The lyrics seem to capture the feeling of 23.6!

23.6 was not cast the answer was 51.3.

Perhaps we should focus on the answer he got not the answer he didn't get.

Or did I miss the 23.6 somewhere.

 

[Trojina]

Find the one sad love song you feel identified with and study what it says. Art, especially music is the shaman´s way back into the heart, its the path of healing. Study your sadness, accept its friendship and learn all you can about yourself. When on this path of grief, self rejection or anger at the other is the easiest way to get lost. Study you sadness for at least a month. Study your sadness until you feel you know what to improve in your life. Then cast again. I will give you some feedback, I am still around.

But you haven't done a reading here yet on this thread. You have given advice about studying sadness that has no connection to the reading. You offer more feedback but haven't given a reading and then suggest more casts having not interpreted the first cast

 

[The Hermit]

But you haven't done a reading here yet on this thread. You have given advice about studying sadness that has no connection to the reading. You offer more feedback but haven't given a reading and then suggest more casts having not interpreted the first cast

@lexxmexx : 51.3 to 55... only line 2 sees the afterglow of lighting, it's so fast! All other yin lines, including line 3, are in the dark. The lightning is gone, they tremble in fear now as the thunder awakens in full power, roaring and shaking their world, only having their memory to guide them back on the path.

 

[The Hermit]

Interesting! While I was just thinking about this reading and how you’ve mentioned your sadness and her seeming indifference, in the back of my mind I started hearing The Beatles’ “She’s Got a Ticket to Ride”. The lyrics seem to capture the feeling of 23.6 perfectly!

Everybody has his/her own sad song(s). It connects us to other's sadness and it helps us carry the load of grief. Is this your sad song? In the song somebody leaves the SO to fool around with others. Don't answer if you don´t want to or set me straight if you need to, all good. Nothing but respect to you.

 

[rosada]

No, I don’t think of this song as being personal. I was mentioning it because it came to mind as I was reading about 23.6 with it’s reference to the noble one having a carriage and this song talks about the girl having “a ticket to ride” so she has a carriage. Plus Wilhelms comments that this line has a feeling of sadness to it and the song lyrics refer to feeling sad. Connecting a song lyric with a hexagram is a fun game. Some while back we had a column where people posted hexagram lines and song lyrics they felt matched. Not sure what happened to it…

My sad songs - “I’d really like to see you tonight”, “I’d like to get to know you”, “Leaving on a Jet Plane” and “Homeward Bound.” Yours?

 

[The Hermit]

No, I don’t think of this song as being personal. I was mentioning it because it came to mind as I was reading about 23.6 with it’s reference to the noble one having a carriage and this song talks about the girl having “a ticket to ride” so she has a carriage. Plus Wilhelms comments that this line has a feeling of sadness to it and the song lyrics refer to feeling sad. Connecting a song lyric with a hexagram is a fun game. Some while back we had a column where people posted hexagram lines and song lyrics they felt matched. Not sure what happened to it…

My sad songs - “I’d really like to see you tonight”, “I’d like to get to know you”, “Leaving on a Jet Plane” and “Homeward Bound.” Yours?

There are many. EW&F helps always. After the love, one of those songs to let go. Thanks for the interest. I appreciate it.

 

[lexxmexx]

Thanks to everyone for your responses and interpretations. A lot of things had happened and situation had changed and I'm feeling calmer now.
Sorry about the long post but this is a follow up on what had happened so far.
So after the first reading of 51.3 to 55, things had worsened between us. I did a few more castings later. My first question was what are my chances of saving my relationship with her, I received 20UC (Contemplation). IC appeared to be telling me to step back and contemplate the situation.
Then, like what Hermit had said, I went to ask for advice on what to do to salvage the relationship. I did 2 castings and received the following:
58.3.6 (Joyousnesw) to 1 (Creativity)
My interpretation was that it was not directly answering my question but advised me to look within for happiness instead of relying on someone.
39.2.5 (Obstruction) to 46 (Rising Up)
This reading seemed to be asking me to seek advice from someone. So I did and spoke to a mutual friend who happened to know what was happening but kept to herself as she did not want me to know the truth and get hurt further. The truth was that there was a third party whom my girlfriend was very infactuated with, and she wanted to move in with him.
I was very heartbroken and did another casting a few days later to inquire about since she is seeing someone, does that mean that this marked the end of our relationship. I received 36.1.3.4 (Brightness Hiding) to 16 (Enthusiasm). From what I had gathered, IC was telling me that I was in pain in finding out what had been happening, who the third part was and advised me to get a hold of myself.
I was initially thinking of letting it go and not pursue the matter or confront her but she keep pushing me to find other partners. That was when I said I knew she was seeing someone and don't keep pushing me to someone to lessen her guilt. A series of quarrels had taken place the next few days and I have decided that there is no more hope in this relationship and to let her go.
After that, we had a peaceful discussion and agreed that we should go own ways but remain as friends. Today, I did another casting to inquire about the current status of our relationship and received 47.2.5 (Oppression) to again, changes to 16. I had mixed feelings about this decision. She used to be very possessive and did not like me to speak to other ladies, so there is a sense of relief and I am getting back my freedom, but there is still the poignant feeling about the separation.
So, I guess hex 16 is an indication that things might be improving whatever that is?

 

[Benthos]

I was very heartbroken and did another casting a few days later to inquire about since she is seeing someone, does that mean that this marked the end of our relationship. I received 36.1.3.4 (Brightness Hiding) to 16 (Enthusiasm). From what I had gathered, IC was telling me that I was in pain in finding out what had been happening, who the third part was and advised me to get a hold of myself.

Sorry for your situation, @lexxmexx, for me personally, your interpretation is spot on, I added a few ideas.

36.1 fleeing from a tyrant on the rise, this is from james de korne´s site (https://jamesdekorne.com/GBCh/hex36.htm)

I put my own ideas behind the text, to clarify, I think you should judge yourself is this is accurate. If not, excuse me please if I seem to have seen it differetly, you hold the key.

Hexagram 36

Legge:

Line one is dynamic (male) , and in its right place (where he should be).

He should be going forward (insist), but the general signification of the hexagram supposes him to be wounded (bound to his purpose, hiding his light, his positivity, grey rock, no positive no negative emotions).

The wound, received at the commencement of the action, is but slight. (manageable)

It suggests a bird (idea) hurt so that it must droop its wings (it can not fly again without healing)

The subject then appears directly as the superior man. (he finally gets it)

He understands that he must desist from the struggle for a time, (retreat) and is so rapt in the thought that he can fast (focus on a quick doable plan) for three days and not think (of food or basic need, onliy superior need, emotional well being included).

When he does withdraw, opposition may follow him, but he holds to his own purpose.

<<The commentary says that he does not purposely fast, but >>when he has nothing to eat he doesn't complain. He thinks it right that it should be so in this case.>> This is necessary. affective abstinence

In line 4, que subjects knows the truth, this is no recoverable, its over because he see with his own eyes and knows its over:

I was initially thinking of letting it go and not pursue the matter or confront her but she keep pushing me to find other partners. That was when I said I knew she was seeing someone and don't keep pushing me to someone to lessen her guilt. A series of quarrels had taken place the next few days and I have decided that there is no more hope in this relationship and to let her go.
After that, we had a peaceful discussion and agreed that we should go own ways but remain as friends.

Here my stake on this, I agree mostly with your vision too.

Today, I did another casting to inquire about the current status of our relationship and received 47.2.5 (Oppression) to again, changes to 16. I had mixed feelings about this decision. She used to be very possessive and did not like me to speak to other ladies, so there is a sense of relief and I am getting back my freedom, but there is still the poignant feeling about the separation.

47.2.5. Check Korne´s site and find hex 47. Its very complex: A tree climbing up because it is incircled by stones. it need connection to the world, it is growing upwards. Becomimg a better person-. also from Korne´s site:+


Line 2 Hex47
Wilhelm/Baynes: One is oppressed while at meat and drink(one has what one needs, here is food or atention present). The man with the scarlet knee bands (burocratic paperwork?) is just coming. It furthers one to offer sacrifice (settling) To set forth (keep pushing for too much) brings misfortune. No blame. (but its fair)

[This pictures a state of inner oppression. Externally, all is well, one has meat and drink. But one is exhausted by the commonplaces of life, and there seems to be no way of escape. Then help comes from a high place… Here a disagreeable situation must be overcome by patience of spirit.] This is W/B comment

Line5Hex47
Wilhelm/Baynes: His nose and feet are cut off (marked by stigma, guilt). Oppression at the hands of the man with the purple knee bands (burocratic problems with separation?). Joy comes softly (this get better in time). It furthers one to make offerings and libations (end it gracefully, be grateful for escaping this one and go your way to happiness -hex48- differently).

Wing: "maintain your composure until things take a promised turn for the better."

So, I guess hex 16 is an indication that things might be improving whatever that is?

Final thought, hexagram 16 is sometimes about deception, music, theatre, clubs, Social Media, everything with a mask. or bling bling. bring.ing painful images Its pure deception, its showing a facade. My advise? Don`t fall for it. You got it twice. 16, the charade. Just don`t fall for it. Nobody is happy after a break up but things will get movng, enthusiasm is the related energy. See the "advise" or relation the two lines in hexagram 16 have:


Line 2 of hexagram 16:

Legge: The magnetic second line is in her correct central position in the lower trigram. Quietly and firmly she is able to abide in her place and exercise a far-seeing discrimination. All is indicative of good fortune.

Want should not react emotionally to anything after the breakup. Just keeping it by the rules and moving on to a better life. Easy to say, hard to do. Its good advice though.

versus

Line five (5) is magnetic in the place of a dynamic ruler, and in danger of being carried away by the lust of enthusiasm. Her proximity to the powerful influence below is a source of danger. Hence she is represented as suffering from a chronic complaint.

Friendships with high sexual chemistry, or unrequited love or lust is disaster, and all are bound to fail in the end or else one has to endure a lot more hurt. If it makes you feel alive, there will a chronic complait about the situation repeat over and over. its good to keep to the advice of line 2.

Maybe it speaks to you.