Hex 58: Communication's Role in Moving on From an Ex

[scarlett3page]

Thank you for reading and any insight into my question. I have been using the iching for a few months, but have struggled to interpret quite a bit.

I asked the iching: "What is the best way to move on from X in terms of communication with him?" I received hexagram 58 unchanging. Now, hexagram 58 is about opening up communication to motivate overcoming hardship. So although it appears to be a very straightforward answer, I want to make sure I'm not missing something.

Background on the situation: It is very complicated but this ex hurt me a great deal. He has made some amends and said he wants to stay friends because he can be himself with me. (Something he struggles with in relationships) I love him although I know I need to move on because of his bad habits and tendencies. The relationship just wasn't healthy. We're currently friends on facebook. When he messaged me 2 months ago, it reminded me that I had simply suppressed both my feelings for him & my anger toward him, but we carried out an overall friendly conversation over the course of a few weeks before it ended naturally. I have asked the iching so many questions about him, our love, and how to move on. I know I have misinterpreted some because it I thought it was telling me to not contact him, to just wait it out, and then another few readings seemed to indicate I should act. The relationship has been over for almost 2 years. I haven't seen him in almost 8 months. Yet my heart aches for him everyday and it's truly inhibiting my ability to live happily. No matter the mean things he said and did to me, we had an amazing connection, a unbelievable chemistry I've never had with anyone else, and I love him so much I want to help him. I've tried not thinking about him, letting myself think about him as much as I want, pretty much everything. If he were just a friend, I would be sharing so much about my life with him right now (I'm studying abroad) but because there is so much hurt it feels weird to just be casual and act like I'm ok. It also does not feel appropriate to rehash the past right away either; I want it to come out naturally and slowly so there can be true peace between us. Follow up question: "How can I facillitate gently working through past issues with X" and received Hex 5.2 changing to 63. Be patient in casual conversation, allowing for things to come up and out of him naturally? Thank you for reading my long post, I so greatly appreciate any insight at all!

 

[mirian]

Hi, my view on 58un in answer to your question is: keep the communication friendly and light, do not expect anything beyond that. I would not try to discuss past issues. I hope that you can keep things to this superficial level and really move on.

 

[rosada]

You might get value from going over to the Exploring Divination area and clicking on the top thread about unchanging hexagrams. Find 58 and click to read what others have experienced with this answer. Trojina reports she got it when asking for help about having a medical procedure done - the gentle conversation with the nurse took her mind off the pain.
This suggests to me that you not be too strict with yourself about cutting this friend out of your life - light hearted conversation now and then can ease the pain.
You might also get value from getting this man's astrological chart done and also an analysis of the relationship. That would be a way of 58. Light-heartedly thinking about him without getting sucked back in. Some how looking at a chart about the two of you can help you understand what the connection was and also help you put it to rest.

I also add that it's also important to have some new focus to pull you away from the past. You can't stop thinking about elephants by chanting, "I will not think about elephants" and to really move beyond this connect you need some new compelling interest to attract all your attention and energy.

Rent the dvd Swingers! That's lighthearted fun that will fast forward the healing process!

 

[scarlett3page]

Thank you mirian and rosada, it means a lot. I'm definitely going to do those things!