Hexagram 12.1.4 to 42 | How to deal with betrayal

[lightafterdarkness]

Hi there,

I've asked the I Ching how to deal with a betrayal, a situation that really scarred me. It's a confusing combination for me and I'd like to hear your interpretation of the hexagram..

 

[Atalanta]

I sympathize. Overall I think this reading is advising you to take it step by step, sort of like, do the next right thing. Which is easier said than done, but in my experience it helps to remember those things as like a mantra of sorts.

12.1 is about separating positive elements from negative elements, and it gives me the sense of this situation revealing something/someone in your life that isn't serving you and separating you from that thing. Kind of like appraising, taking inventory of things. Or weeding a garden. I think the Yi is telling you to put some time and some thought into this.

12.4 is where I get the sense of taking it step by step. Betrayal is a really complicated experience, and I think we have a tendency to want to skip to the part where it doesn't hurt anymore, but (again, just my personal experience) sometimes that's not true healing, but just denial. Maybe seeking outside help, possibly therapy?

 

[lightafterdarkness]

I sympathize. Overall I think this reading is advising you to take it step by step, sort of like, do the next right thing. Which is easier said than done, but in my experience it helps to remember those things as like a mantra of sorts.

12.1 is about separating positive elements from negative elements, and it gives me the sense of this situation revealing something/someone in your life that isn't serving you and separating you from that thing. Kind of like appraising, taking inventory of things. Or weeding a garden. I think the Yi is telling you to put some time and some thought into this.

12.4 is where I get the sense of taking it step by step. Betrayal is a really complicated experience, and I think we have a tendency to want to skip to the part where it doesn't hurt anymore, but (again, just my personal experience) sometimes that's not true healing, but just denial. Maybe seeking outside help, possibly therapy?

I appreciate your sympathy and your effort to share your thoughts on my reading! I can see how that works. The betrayal comes from a relationship, we had certain agreements and they prematurely ended those and broke up with me. Perhaps for the best of both of us as they broke up with me multiple times before running back, but I put in a lot of effort and energy into this relationship. Although some things led up to it, the break up felt very sudden as this time we really put work into it.

I can see how taking things step by step would be the best way to navigate heartbreak and betrayal. It's a long process to mend a broken heart.

12.1 With putting time and thought into this, you mean gaining more clarity on why it's best those weeds been pulled out? The line sheds an image of weeds pulled out with the roots. It speaks of one thing affecting many, of stagnation and rebuilding. Would you say it's telling me to understand how this affected me negatively on the bigger picture, stagnated me and now I need to see how to rebuild myself?

12.4 I read in one explaination of the line that enlightened communication can bring about union, however blocked communication can show that there's no hard feelings but time has come to split apart. In another one I read that it's about intentionally moving forward from stagnation and higher intentions allowing one to move forward. Taking both of this into account, perhaps it's telling me to understand how this relationship was blocked and telling me to intentionally move forward? It's talking about holding onto your principles and beliefs and perhaps it's telling me to think of what I really want and need and moving away from what I do not need(someone who is not committed!) ? Perhaps I'm meant to do this step by step?

Would love to hear your thoughts on my reflections

 

[rosada]

I’ve seen 12.1 to indicate a NDE, near death experience.
12.1 is a sense of everything falling out of formation, like you had all the facts lined up one way and then everything disconnected and everything you believed to be true collapsed - so in a way a sort of death,

I just say this to encourage you to be very gentle to yourself at this time and not demand all your emotions shut up and calm down! Allow things to swirl around for a bit. Listen to music. Especially jazz or eastern music where you may not discern a tune right away but just let the harmonies flow through you.
.

 

[lightafterdarkness]

I’ve seen 12.1 to indicate a NDE, near death experience.
12.1 is a sense of everything falling out of formation, like you had all the facts lined up one way and then everything disconnected and everything you believed to be true collapsed - so in a way a sort of death,

I just say this to encourage you to be very gentle to yourself at this time and not demand all your emotions shut up and calm down! Allow things to swirl around for a bit. Listen to music. Especially jazz or eastern music where you may not discern a tune right away but just let the harmonies flow through you.
.

Hi Rosada,

That's what happened. At first I felt like being betrayed by my ex, but as I let my feelings settle and discussed with my ex I realized our whole foundation and our defenses against external stressors were weak. It was as if we were walking a road together with some injuries, but nothing to feel discouraged. But as we continued the road, we'd kept being kicked on the legs and toes. No time to recover and heal. In moments of peace, we'd always anticipate the next kick. At some point my ex fell down and I picked her up, walking further with broken legs. However my ex started getting discouraged, feeling guilty for not being able to carry me the same way. The discourage demotivated me and made me feel alone, the carrying was heavy. Eventually my ex realized walking on would make her injuries irrepairable, as the external kicking wouldn't stop and we wouldn't get the space to feel safe together on this road. She saw how I got weaker and weaker and that hurt her, despite my perseverance. Her giving up, first felt like a betrayal. But later, I realized she collapsed. A death of the road. It was for the best.

She never stopped wanting to walk with me, just she could not walk on this road with me any longer. She decided she needs to walk alone to heal before walking any road with anyone.

I think my healing needs to be step by step, as me too, has to recover from this road. I can't indeed rush my recovery nor the healing from heartbreak, especially when the love's there but the resources and ability to make it work isn't. It's bittersweet.

Thank you for your insight. It fulfilled me.

 

[Lena Loren]

For me the weed is old patterns etc that has to be weeded out. And it changes to 42.
I think Yi are saying that this situation.. if you can understand and weed out an old entangeled pattern you will make room for increase, it will come out as something good for you in the end.

 

[lightafterdarkness]

For me the weed is old patterns etc that has to be weeded out. And it changes to 42.
I think Yi are saying that this situation.. if you can understand and weed out an old entangeled pattern you will make room for increase, it will come out as something good for you in the end.

I think unfortunately it takes two to tango and the weeds have taken over at this point... It's been spoiled

Thank you for your insight