...life can be translucent


hexagram 18 and friendship



I have a friendship that ended badly 2 years ago. Now my friend is moving away and I would like to see him before he goes. It's been a long, long journey towards forgiving him for some bad things that happened, and towards recognising my own part in how things went wrong - in some ways, it turns out on reflection, the larger one. I have really felt the need to leave things until I knew I could speak to him from a place of honesty without vengefulness, and ideally from a place of love. And the need to do this has grown recently; the anger I used to have has diminshed - but I still fear it ambushing me if I see him again.

The Iching has consistently told me to take my time, to tread carefully, to expect not too much, to keep a distance. But I have felt things changing within myself in recent weeks in re this situation. So when I asked, 'What should I do about John?' today, I was quite struck when I got hexagram 18 unchanging.

This might be very literal: repair it. Build a bridge.

But then I looked into it more deeply - especially into what HIlary has to say about turning the corrupted parts of the situation, or the self, towards the light. I have been doing this slowly but surely for two years. Might it mean, Keep going?

Thank you for your thoughts. What a strange hexagram - about doing something, and about taking something away.


Tim K

Nov 29, 2013
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h18, the process of decay, something complex becomes simple again.
Trying to simplify your relationship with that friend - I think it's a good idea.

There is no promise of success (he is going away, the only thing you can get is a promise of electronic communication i think), but at least you will have a closure; and speaking from your heart, sharing your love - is always appreciated!

Maybe it won't be a bridge, but at least a lighthouse and a dock.

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