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Hexagram 26 unchanging...

magdalena

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Hi guys, I haven't posted for a while as I've been too busy fighting with my own thoughts... exhausting..

I have asked the Yi today "What is going to happen with our relationship"? (with my partner). I got 26 unchanging, which normally indicates a blatant truth, but I can't see anything blatant about hexagram 26 so Im a bit puzzled.

It's just that things have been accummulating in my mind for a while(my dealing with his kids, trying for a child of our own but not really trying, him being depressive and stressed and us loosing our closeness (and sex life with it)) I always thought there was a potential in this relationship but I'm starting to loose hope that it will ever materialise. Do I take a conservative approach and stick with it, hope for his kids to grow older, wait for him to finish up renovating the house (which is causing him a great deal of financial stress) and try to keep the communication going or take my loses and look out for more tranquil waters? I know our relationship is important to him and I would hurt him terribly if I left but I'm just not sure if this will bring me happiness in the long run. Is it just a phase we are going through or is that all that I can expect?

As an answer I get hex 26, unchanging. I beg you for some thoughts on it....
 

matt

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Hi Magdalena, 26 requires a little patience so it may come to fruition. For example - Sometimes when I have become bogged down with many small details in my life, and I am struggling to piece them all together for a significant meaning, then I will take a walk in the woods near the beach here. I just clear my head, take deep breathes and enjoy. Then my thoughts seem to organise themselves, all the small things start joining together, creating a larger picture.

In your posts you expressed some keywords:- accumulating, potential, hope. Its not for me to comment on the direction you should take, ultimately that choice lies with you, however, there is a process ongoing at the moment that will soon bring you more clarity in your life.

Speaking astrologically for a second - Venus is currently retrograde (appearing to move backwards in relation to the Earth). Venus can rule love/relationships and how we care for others. I've noticed that there are many challenges when Venus goes retrograde, our relationships are tested, our inner affections challeneged, our care put on slow trial. Likening this to your hexagram, 26, these slow difficult times often exist so we may reassess what is important in our lives. To reflect we stand still, then we move again and our reflections start to breathe more substance. Venus doesnt go direct (start moving forwards) until the 4th February I think, it will be around this time that many of your 'accumulated refelctions' will start making sense to you.

Again, I am not saying which direction you should take, but if you follow the keywords that stuck out to me in your post, things will become clearer very soon.
 

frank

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Hi Magdalena,

To me hexagram 26 is about holding things in. I do not know what that says to you, but Heaven, as trigram below is about power and mostly about powerfull thoughts... as Heaven is connected to the upper line in a trigram or the two upper lines in a hexagram, therefore, as you see these figures as a body of a human beighn, the brain... As Earth is feet, the things you do (and Human, your heart, the things you feel...). This answer then is probably about holding together the brain... As Mountain is in the upper trigram, the brain should be standstill, or something like that. Does that ring a bell?

When you look to the nuclear hexagram, a thing that can work when you have a static hexagram, there is hexagram 54 (thunder above lake), so the emotions (lake) are aroused (thunder), and that is (ofcourse) influencial to the brain... I think the Yi is telling you to just slow down a bit and not try to hard...

Does that make some sense?

Hang in there!

Hug,
Frank
 

magdalena

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Hi Matt, what a beautiful posting. Just imagining you taking a walk in the woods near the beach makes me feel better... I guess this place must be far far away from London :) People don't take walks here, they choose to run instead in something commonly known as a rat race. But there is this place south of London I remember from my more tranquil days when I was at peace with myself, involving the woods, a bench and a beautiful view across Surrey, I might even manage to go there soon.

Anyway, my intuition is telling me that Im in the middle of some important process/change from which Im meant to be learning. This is by no means pleasant at the moment. Are you sure Venus goes direct on 4th Feb? I don't think I can take this for much longer...
 

magdalena

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Hello Frank, yes it does ring a bell I think. Im definitely out of a comfort zone which usually means being able to observe and learn. Maybe the Yi is telling me to come down a bit, absorb as much as I can but not act and things will become more clear... So basically what I get here is: you can't have an answer to your question as you are not ready for it....
uhoh.gif
Am I right?
 

matt

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Hi Magdalena
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Ive checked and Venus goes stationary on the 2nd Feb, then starts moving forward again, about 10 days away until it begins its forward movement again I guess.
There is an astrology forum I participate in, and recently there have been a few postings about people feeling a strain upon recent relations, and then enquiring as to the Venus transit.
Remember, Venus doesnt imply that you have to resolve all love matters so they may run smoothely again, often these are times when we re-invigorate our relationship to the world, the things that matter to us the most. So it doesnt necessarily mean that you have to wait and stay in this situation, its always your choice
happy.gif
Life challenges us to redefine ourselves, and the way we choose to redefine is completely up to us, whether it be parting with something, or growing closer to something.
Dont you worry too much, you will find a way
happy.gif
Are you familair with Rudyard Kiplings "If"?
Im sure you are, I'll post it for you here anyway. A very special girl whom I love in my life gifted it to me, and I find it helps me sometimes in difficult times.

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!

Obviously, the last line - about being a Man, my son! - I wouldnt want you to take this too literally and go for a sex change lol

Oh the beach I walk on is in Devon by the way.
 

frank

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Hi Magdalena,

I do not think that the Yi is actually saying that you are not ready for learning and questions, etc... I just think the Yi is trying to calm you down. I remember that in one particular dicionary Xiao, the chinese word for small, was also meaning ?besides the goal, distracted?... This is about ?Da?, big... and Da also mented...?towards the goal?... Perhaps the Yi is just saying: ?Hold on missy, you go to fast!`... That?s all :-D. Could that be ringing a certain bell again?

Hug,
Frank
 
J

jesed

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Hi Magdalena

Just in case the comment could be useful

"What is going to happen with our relationship"?
You would be Holding together, taking care of nourish the relationship by a daily renewal.

To do that, both of you should learn from your experience.

Is a great, hopeful, answer

But (always a "but") is interesting to see the "hidden" hex (I know, there are other names fot this complementary tools)

"Yinn became yang" (make every yinn line to yang and viceversa): 26 became 45. Again, a good answer Reunion, harvest.
"Buttom became Top" (make line 1 to be 6, line 2 to be 5 and so on): 26 became 25. Inocence, the unexpected, "un-tied"
"Lower became Upper" (inner trigram became outer trigram and viceversa): 26 became 33

It means: the principal (most probably) future situation would be 26; but, depending on your own actions and decisions, you could go onto time 45, 25 or 33. Your choice, of course:

what do you want for your relationship? HOLDING TOGETHER? REUNION? RETREAT? "UN-TIED"? decide it and go for it

Best wishes
 

void

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Hi Magdalena, you already invested alot in this relationship, right ? Its already a pretty permanent structure ? Maybe this is what 26 is pointing to here. You've bought alot into this situation and your're wondering whether its going to be worth investing even more ? Well 26 is a hexagram I'm pretty hazy on but I don't feel you leaving is somehow an option here, because you already built so much, and what you have built is of lasting value. As others have said might be a good time to consider your most cherished values - and maybe you'll see you've put alot in because you think the whole thing is valuable - even if sometimes you're not happy its still worthwhile.

The 'not eating at home' part puzzles me sometimes. I think its about utilising your best qualities for a higher purpose outside of yourself. Well if I remember right you had to do quite alot of this...having to work hard with your partners son..., concerns about the renovation of the house (hope I have the right person here, if not ignore me) actually quite alot of hard graft over and above simple focus on your relatonship with your partner. Its understandable theres going to be a point where you think 'is it worth it'. I think the answer you got says 'you value it and its worth it, you knew its value thats why you put so much into it'

Could be like Matt said a break of some kind could be very beneficial to get your head clear. Personally I always take 'not eating at home' literally... a few days in a luxury spa retreat or something
mischief.gif
 

void

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Oh of course you leaving is an option, I just meant I couldn't see it with this answer. If you are seriously thinking of going I guess it might be good to ask Yi specifically about that option.
 

lightofdarkness

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26 - holding firm to a particular perspective as a guide in dealing with reality. The particular format is focused on the past to aid in management of the present with a warning to not let the past takeover, just guide.

26 shares space with 11. 11 is unconditional in its focus on harmonising/balancing; 26 is conditional (the mountain top focuses on discernment, quality control in a context of perseverence)

An indicator of the basic infrastructure of 26 is by analogy to the generic qualities of 46 - getting more entangled.

Allowed to run its course, the 'correct' steps of 26 appear to be best described by analogy to the generic qualities of 59 - IOW the passage elicits the dispelling of all illusions, keeping the 'fog' away.

The 'beginning' of 26 appears to be best described by analogy to 18 and so there is an initial focus on how to deal with corruption etc (in this case we introduce and maintain a set of standards from the past to aid in harmonising/balancing interactions with context)

Chris.
 
P

peace

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I read "not eating at home" as moving out into the world and not having a "pity party" - focus on something other than your problems.

It's something about holding the creative energy that is accumulating so it builds up for the right time to expend it - and staying at home and dwelling on it doesn't make it accumulate for good use any faster.

Hope that helps...
Rosalie
 

magdalena

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Thank you guys for all your kind words and imput, as always. I'm sorry I haven't replied sooner, I've just been totally consumed by it all and quite depressed. I'm so desperate to find the answer (right here right now) that I also laid out some tarot cards which confused and scared me further (I asked what will happen if I stay with X to which I got Ten of cups (self), Death (significant other), Seven of cups (advice), Queen of Swords (situation) and Justice (potential) - that's for those who are interested in tarot... )

Void you amazed me with how well you remembered my previous postings! This site is full of great, caring people.

I guess that the advice is to calm down, learn from the situation, clarify the thoughts and make your decision but I am so confused that I think I need someone to heat me across the head with a hammer and tell me exactly what I should do because I have lost the ability to think straight I think...
 

magdalena

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By the way, I did follow Void's advice and asked the Yi specifically about the option of leaving X. "Should I leave X"? to which I got 32 changing to 30. I think the top changing line describes my actions quite well...
 

finewithme

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LiSe calls 26 "Raise and tame the big bull."
http://www.anton-heyboer.org/i_ching/hex_17-32/hex_e_26.htm

She says: "Tame and feed the big animals, take good care of the big harvest and store it in a safe place. Your life needs the big values, the harvests of man that survive the eras.
Love has to be universal love. If it does not rely on eternal values, one cannot even call it love. But even the small things one does every day need the eternal deeds of the gods as example.
Always, everywhere, one encounters signs of the big animals, even if one sees only a footprint, or hears a rumor. Gather the signs, store them, and save them in your soul. And tame the big bulls for plowing your fields and for riding on them in everyday life."

Perhaps the suggestion to you is to be both more expansive and more particular in your approach to the relationship. Not looking at it as purely a "stay or go" question, when both, as contrasted options, inspire fear.

Expansive in that you ask yourself, "What is the big bull here? What is it about relationships that matters to me? What better world, what enduring values (perhaps even what gods) do I honor when I make an effort to relate to my partner's son? To respond to my partner's depression? When I seek to have a child? When I also seek not to have a child? When I make an effort to achieve closeness? When I race the rats? When I seek to know and honor myself?" That kind of expansiveness can in itself be calming. You don't have to achieve or feel you measure up all at one to your answers, your values, your hopes, your gods. You just have to catch a glimmer that they are there.

Particular, as in LiSe's line, "But even the small things one does every day need the eternal deeds of the gods as example." In THIS moment, at THIS meal together, or THIS bedtime, or during THIS depressively familiar fight (or withdrawel) about the remodel...in this NOW, what big bull is there to help me. What big bull am I teaching, training, raising? Don't paralyze yourself or scramble your brain trying to answer or trying to get the particular action "perfect." Just show up in the particulars.

If you have not left yet, don't withdraw from participating in the particular moments just to reherse what it might feel like to leave. Be fully present. This is a different thing from "fully committed" and it helps to remember that. Be there to the big values, and be there to the little details. Listen to dreams (or screams) and wipe noses. Listen to yourself listening. As you do so, you will come into deeper understanding of what matters to you at scales both larger and smaller than this particular relationship. The "stay or go" question (and answer) will subtly shift from a fear-based reaction to a choice-based response.

And as your capacity to look at the situation in this way grows, you will also come to know more intimately the capacities that the others in the picture have (or don't have). It has often been said that no one should expect to be able to change a partner, that you can't base a future on hopes that depend on another becoming a certain way. But what you CAN factor in to your choices is your sense of how the other person is growing/changing on their own. This is more surely known of others by those who know it of themselves.

Best wishes.
 
B

bruce

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Something I've noticed about 26 is the delay time from when it's received to the time when energy is sufficiently generated and refined enough to be effective for outward action. I think LiSe depicts that well. The big bull isn't simply restrained, he is trained.
 

magdalena

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Spot on, Finewithme, that's exactly what's becoming more clear in my head as I read the responses to my recent postings, how to stear this relationship towards a different path, where we can see more clearly why we are together and what trully matters. That's not changing anyone, that's helping one to clear away the fog and to follow the right path. There is a lot of baggage in this relationship, apart from his (very expensive) divorce, the kids etc. he has some more deep rooted issues like feeling abandoned as a child and in later life by his mother (with whom he hasn't spoken for 12 years), his dreadful relationship with his father (subconciously doing everything to seek his approval) etc etc... I want him to learn that he can be loved and that he doesn't have to pay for love, affection etc. and just to open up and trust again. I hope that's not changing someone but giving a different direction. That's the big challenge, the big bull. He really need some serious training! (Your comment Bruce really made me laugh!). I hope I get there before I loose all hope....
 
B

bruce

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Hadn't thought of it like that, Magdalena, but if the nose ring fits...
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