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Hexagram 32.3>40, Hexagram 55.1.6 [personal development]

caftheflame

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Hi, I'm going in a rough patch in my life where I've realized that my parents were emotionally abusive throughout childhood. I have been trying to let go of this abuse, because I know to hold onto it will only hurt me in the future. I have also been thinking about that quotation by Nietzsche: "Beware that, when fighting with monsters, you yourself do not become a monster." And I finally came to the conclusion that it's not really so much about fighting the monster; it's about doing what's right. That may include fighting the monster, but it's not about fighting the monster. Do what's right, bring all of what's dark in you to light, and then you can't help but share this lightness, and thereby bring lightness to the dark that may surround you in others. Much like a candle. "It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness", "Look at how a single candle can define and defy the darkness" and so on and so forth. In removing the darkness in yourself and creating lightness, you can share lightness with others and they can either bask in your light and grow themselves, or they can tremble from it and hide in the darkness. But you have at least given them the option. I asked the I Ching because I still live with my parents, and I don't feel like -- I can't change them. But what I can do is grow myself.
But the hexagrams I got were confusing. I asked, "Being on the right path is more a matter of doing what's right and bringing all in yourself to light, so you may share with others the light, more than it is about defeating the monster and defeating the darkness. Is this right?"
I received Hexagram 32.3.
I was perplexed by what the hexagram meant: durability. Should I instead keep with my current path of fighting with my parents to fight for my rights? Would it not be better to fight for my rights, because they are my rights, rather than because I see my parents as oppressors? The changing line that indicated "He must remain constant, or the only permanence will reside in disgrace" further confused me.
So I asked a second question: "Don't look back. Leave it all on the track. Is this a correct interpretation of how to remain on the right path?" I meant this in a way that meant: "Is trusting the path of righteousness the way to righteousness?"
And I received Hexagram 55.1.6, with changing line 6 prevailing. And 55 indicates abundance, as well as changing line 1, but changing line 6 indicates no friends. Lack of abundance.
Can someone explain what they think may be going on?

Edit: As a note, I have been engaging in self-isolation in order to sort out my problems. I've absorbed rather a lot of my parents' abusive behaviors, so I've been trying to learn to take responsibility, accept what is, and then gain the courage to change what I can. Might this be what the I Ching is talking about in changing line 6?
 
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blue_angel

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"Being on the right path is more a matter of doing what's right and bringing all in yourself to light, so you may share with others the light, more than it is about defeating the monster and defeating the darkness. Is this right?"


I would say the answer is yes, do what naturally feels right to you, and release yourself from having to fight any monsters. Just maintain consistency within yourself, regardless of outside circumstances. You have achieved more than enough at this time, do not rush to achieve more.


"Don't look back. Leave it all on the track. Is this a correct interpretation of how to remain on the right path?" I meant this in a way that meant: "Is trusting the path of righteousness the way to righteousness?"


Yes, however, you are already on the "right" path. Just maintain what you have achieved this far. Continue to be in accord with the time. There is no need for any further work in this area for now. It is time to communicate with others and allow others to be of support.


Now, something I noticed, that you may want to consider... is 40 speaks of going quickly, if there is a place to go. 40 specifies to go southwest or where there are companions/friends. 55, line 1 speaks of the possibility of meeting with a companion/friend, even if only for a limited amount of time, like 10 days. Then 56 speaks of traveling to a new land, and going on a journey. I think its possible you are being given a message that its time for a vacation, at the very least. To go on a journey or adventure, allowing support from others, and just being content within yourself.


Best wishes as always,


Blue_Angel
 
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anemos

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After this realization, you might feel as a stranger in a strange land, internally and externally. You might need somehow to observe what is this new land and those people before making any decision in regards to what course of action you should follow.

Reading your post seems you have already decide that you are not longer wish for this situation to continue. Seems like you have already decide and made a commitment. That commitment is enough for now, no need to stress yourself more on details. 32 , imo, in the context of your situation is not about a "5 year plan", you don't know yet what is that you are dealing with.

For me, what 55 says, "don't be sad, be bright..." it's not equivalent to the well known " don't worry , be happy". Oftentimes It's about been overwhelmed and the need to clear your mind and make intelligent desicions according to the demands of time and current situations. That could prevent any isolation( being that between parts of yourself, or people around you that can offer some help ) and your lord. (55.1 )

People that help people have this rule and either you do the best to keep it or you go home.the rule says :" first do no harm".... experts and volunteer act under that commitment. The most easy thing to do in the effort to help is to re-traumaize. It's so easy to happen ; even with the best intention Unfortunately people cause more trauma. ..like the quote you shared , fight with the monster you can be a monster yourself.

I find both your readings soothing, no direct advise as do this or do that. There is no reason at this overwhelmin stage to say everything available in the literature about how to deal it. That's the wisdom of yi, IMO, it's not about how much knowledge the book or people have but a good judgement when to talk, when to just listen and careful choices.
 
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anemos

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Edit: As a note, I have been engaging in self-isolation in order to sort out my problems. I've absorbed rather a lot of my parents' abusive behaviors, so I've been trying to learn to take responsibility, accept what is, and then gain the courage to change what I can. Might this be what the I Ching is talking about in changing line 6?

My impression is that isolation here is not about the time you need to spend alone and figure out the situation. It doesn't sounds judgmental about that need ; after all, it's quite natural to take some "time-off" to think. I see it mostly as a reminder that you are not alone in that matter. The story of the prince of hex 55 says it had a mandate from heaven to fight against enemies, and although it was his big task he had to find allies to help him. I can see that in 55.6.
 

pocossin

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Being on the right path is more a matter of doing what's right and bringing all in yourself to light, so you may share with others the light, more than it is about defeating the monster and defeating the darkness. Is this right?
32.3 > 40


In my opinion you did not properly develop the first casting, and so you cast again, leading to more confusion. You would find release from the wheel of karma if you considered your family history (duration) in depth. What are the forces that drove your parents to deal with you as they did? You can discover these troubles by researching your family history in depth.
 
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blue_angel

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I can see that Tom, only vaguely. I wouldn't have been able to come up with that, on my own. And still can't quite see how you did it. Even though, that is exactly what I did and experienced myself with my own family. And it worked, almost like magic. But I hadn't thought of it in the way you just described it, which makes so much sense. I really like your insight into this.
 

pocossin

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And still can't quite see how you did it. Even though, that is exactly what I did and experienced myself with my own family.

Partly it's the casting, partly the situation, and partly recent personal experience. I understand Duration as duration of the family and line 3 as the line of difficulty. Probably like most with an interest in the I Ching, I too had family difficulties. And just yesterday I found family pictures from over a hundred years ago in material destined for the dump. It was strange. A narrow dirt path in front of my great grandfather's house is now a major four-lane interstate highway. It made me aware of the limitations my ancestors were under.
 
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blue_angel

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It is really something. Like being caved in with weights as if you're the only one. And then one day this huge source of light turns on, revealing all of this history. And you see it all in a completely different perspective. One you hadn't realized was possible before. Where there was pain or anger, you want to reach into the past, hug and kiss their cheek. It's like, ok, it's ok. You experience respect, forgiveness, and love like never before. All that was is no longer. You can chose to go back but it no longer affects you the way it once did. Huge shoulder weights gone. And for the first time, you realize you do have a family. You are a part of a much larger system. It is a definite release. Almost like not just a release but you can feel all of that darkness leave like a breeze and you can feel the light replacing it. I wonder if thats a part of getting old lol. It's worth it. I wonder how many others have experienced something similar. I think the ultimate was picture my great grandfather at war and coming home. Not having all the help, knowledge, and support we have now. Well, anyway, I really like the way you were able to word it and see that. I think its possible for many to heal. And I know a lot of them have past on. But sometimes I can't help but wonder if our healing, heals some of them to. If the healing is felt and sent out like an energy form.
 

caftheflame

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I feel like you're all right; I need to let go, and I need to understand where all of this is coming from, rather than judging it. It's good to practice some awareness and see what I can do to improve my character, but further action seems to be ill-advised. I need to feel out the surroundings, get to know the lay of the land. But I'm afraid of letting go because I don't have anywhere to go, physically. I have some friends I can talk with, and who can provide support, but these wounds are constantly being torn open again and again by my parents. How can I reflect, how can I let go when I constantly have to turn my attention to the fact it's happening yet again?
I know my parents didn't come from good backgrounds. My father's mother starved him. My mother's parents favored her younger sister. My mother herself got a junior high school education. And I don't believe that they do this to hurt me, no, but the fact is that they do hurt me. I have this opportunity to do what they couldn't do, I have this opportunity to leave this dynamic, and do what they likely wish they could have done. But I'm afraid, because once I've forgiven them, also, how do I continue to stand for myself?
I mean, even with the knowledge that they don't do this because they hate me but because it's what they know, that doesn't mean I have to get so brutally suppressed as I do. How would I even interact with them after? I would still have to stand for myself, and they would still try to suppress me.
The best I've got is learning to let go in the moment; for example, noticing that someone is trying to suppress me, saying no, and saying no gently. And then if they choose to react, that's that. But I can maintain my integrity, say no, keep saying no gently, and be calm in the face of danger.
I feel like, if nothing else, you all have more experience with this matter than I do. What do you all believe, in the context of my readings?

Edit: I feel like I already knew what the I Ching is telling me. It's been telling me for days about recruiting allies (which speaks to gaining support), recharging power (which speaks to history), the penetrating wind (which speaks to perseverance). Hexagram 59, with a changing line 6. (Letting go of what may hurt me.) What is happening is more that I'm having trouble putting it into place, because I keep trying to go beyond the present: What comes next?

But I would also suppose that I'm being told to put all that aside, and just do what I feel needs to be done. Forgiving while in the midst of turmoil can be done. I'm just making it exceedingly difficult for myself -- it's not the easiest, not as preferable as going away, coming back with new eyes, and forgiving -- but it's still possible. I rambled a lot, I'm sorry, I'm just really uncertain, as blue_angel saw from my readings.

Edit: I read more deeply into the hexagrams, and the changing lines, and have concluded that it would further me to persist, but not as violently as I have been. I have to trust the process to take me to the result. Find consistency in myself first, and then move forth again. To move forth now would be disadvantageous. Seek help. The details will fall into place later. Would you agree?
 
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blue_angel

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I re-wrote, thinking you may not have seen my original post. But now it's apparent you did. Do not apologize for rambling. You're venting. You've been suppressed and you need to vent. Vent away, no one minds. Are you sure there is not a friend you can stay with for some time? Thats the first thing I seen. And mostly because it is not very easy to begin the healing process when you are still under the roof of those that abuse you. I am not even sure it's possible. Although, at this point in life I am thinking almost anything is possible.


You know, it's something. I do not even know you but I could feel your energy when I read your post as if it was my own. As if you were one of my own. Protection and survival instincts kicked in rather fast. At least you know you are not "alone". What we speak of, this forgiveness and true awareness is easier said than done. I think it took me a total of 15 years. 9 years of actual consistent work. But everyone is different and unique. As well as there situations. So it or may not take as long for you. I will have to think about this a little more. And say some healing prayers for you.


What I can tell you is the initial awareness is the darkest time. Each day after is a little brighter. May be some downs inbetween. But the progress is certain. If you want it. And I believe you do. Its like a dance two steps forward might take one step back. But the thing is you'll take two steps foward again, so now you're always at least one step forward even when you don't feel like you are. And it's a big step. I wouldn't think on it too much more other than to vent when you need to.


Is there something creative you enjoy? Writing, poetry, painting, etc? This is self therapy. No it doesn't solve it. But every little thing helps. And you must take care of you, the way you would a best friend that is sick. I mean, listen to good music, massage lotion into your body as if you're at a massage therapist or a spa. Nourish yourself with good food. Exercise daily at a specific time so you have a routine. Make time, so it is your time, and no one can take that time from you. Do not cancel that appointment with yourself. Even if it's only Sundays. Make a me day. But be consistent.


Nothing excuses what they have done or what they are doing now. I will have to come back later. But as a last note for now, I am not sure what your beliefs are. But there's a great chant. Om Mani Padme Hum. Its calling on universal protection. Protection from suffering. Releasing from karmas. And enlightening your heart with compassion. If you are willing to try it. You can look it up on You Tube. Some places explain the full meaning. I'll post a link later. Go to a quiet place. Helps to light a white candle and maybe some white sage if you have it. But it's not necessary. At first you may cry powerfully and want to stop. Take a deep breath. Let the tears fall and persevere through the chant. A good 20 to 25 minutes. By the end you will either be exausted for rest or it may have the opposite effect. You may begin feeling better.


Either way it is a healing process. If you cry, remember the tears are nourishment for your soul, just as the rain is to the earth. When you awaken the following day, there will be growth. Its like washing away the old to allow the new to grow. Little by little. Day by day. Take care for now.
 
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blue_angel

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"Find consistency in myself first, and then move forth again. To move forth now would be disadvantageous. Seek help. The details will fall into place later. Would you agree?"


Yes. I can not see anymore in your readings than what has already been written. And you summed it up nicely. I could give tons of advice, but better if I stick to the readings. I feel you will do well in your own healing process, and walking your path.


Best wishes on your journey,

Blue_Angel
 

caftheflame

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I private messaged you in thanks. It's long, some venting, but ultimately, if you don't read it, I just want to say thank you so much. I can't say it enough how much what you said made me feel that maybe it wouldn't be easy, maybe it would take a long time, but I could do it. And I'm not alone. It meant a lot to me.
 

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