hexagram 34.1.32

[gretamar]

Hello to all, I would appreciate if there is a few words to help me figure out this configuration, looking simply, it seems to say no to my question, which was,

I have just met since a month a nice man, and have been single after nearly two years from a long, rather abusive relationship.
For this reason, I am very anxious to not get into another bad relationship...
This new person is very eager to fo forward, but I am not sure if he is trustworthy, he wants to invite me to his home, so probably with romantic and closeness on his mind!
this was my question

is it the right time to get intimate

Hexagram 34.1 seems to say, no, wrong time, or be careful...it s seems quiet negative to me really....
and 32 seems to say to go forward....

Could somebody more experienced give me their opinion and interpreations, would be very kind, thanks xxxxxx

 

[Trojina]

Hexagram 34.1 seems to say, no, wrong time, or be careful...it s seems quiet negative to me really....
and 32 seems to say to go forward....

That's right 34.1 does advise you not to just bounce into this unawares. 32 isn't telling you to go forward...remember the relating hexagram does not ='the future' it is more the context of the question which can be read fairly openly as part of the answer, can involve the future/present/past...but don't box the relating hexagram into just 'what happens next'. Here I would pay far more attention to your moving line, since it is the only change line.

You are eager, full of energy and want to press forward but at this stage you don't really have a full picture of where you are headed.

It's too early to be intimate and don't go to his home yet unless you are sure he's not going to pressure you into anything. Slow down a bit, maybe get to know him better through having dates rather than going to his home yet.

 

[Trojina]

Another thought. It may not be you have any need to fear him as such, it may be more that if you get intimate right now, it will be harder to withdraw later on...and I feel that is where the 32 may play a role. You may be trying to make permanent, on-going, something that you aren't quite ready for.

You don't know how you are going to feel in a month or two. If you get intimate now I think you might complicate things for yourself because for most women once they are physically intimate they cannot help but become emotionally intimate and hence would find it harder to break up if things go downhill so maybe this answer is advising you aren't ready for that level of intimacy right now. You need a bit more space and time, there's no rush is there. Take it at your own pace because most of us don't just step lightly in and out of relationships so you don't at this point want to walk into something you find harder to withdraw from further down the line.

Of course he may be the right man for you but it is still a good idea to have a bit more space and time for yourself. You may need the time having come out of a traumatic and abusive relationship.

 

[gretamar]

Thank you so much Trojina, yes I think you are reading into my fears as well,...which is, yes I like him alot, but yes, not really ready/repaired enough for getting into a commitment or fully fledged relationship...We have had about 6/7 dates in the last month and a half....I am a bit anxious that he will tire of waiting to concretise, and, I am not sure if he will be very happy about temporising...I would like more time, but of course, he also has his needs...not easy to find an in between solution....today, I asked again, more or less what I should do (have the date tonight!) about this person, and I got hexagram 2, no changing lines....and that seems super positive..!! ?? would that seem so. ?....
Thank you Trojina, you re a star

 

[Trojina]

What you should do about him 2uc.

Here's a thread about people's experiences with 2uc https://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/fri...periences-With-Unchanging-Castings-Hexagram-2

I'd say here for tonight, relax, follow along with the flow of things, allow him to court you...still bearing in mind the 34.1 don't feel pressured into anything.

...I am a bit anxious that he will tire of waiting to concretise, and, I am not sure if he will be very happy about temporising...I would like more time, but of course, he also has his needs

...yes and you have yours. Also is having sex really to 'concretise'...I think that's anew word you invented ...it's not always is it. You can't really just go ahead and have sex so he doesn't lose interest I think that would almost be falling back into old patterns and beliefs about your self worth. If you don't feel ready, as 34.1 said then there is no reason why you should just offer yourself up on a plate.

I think there's scope for romance in 2uc without you having to sort of pay him by giving him what you think he wants. I mean subtly that can mean you compromising yourself.