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Hexagram 36.4 for a Relationship Inquiry

firerabbit

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Hello,

A little background to the situation: There is someone I used to live with for a year, and in that time she and I developed strong feelings for each other, however nothing substantial ever happened between us; there were various reasons for this, but the point is, when the lease was up, we all (3 roommates) went our separate ways, made new friends, and sort of found different niches from each other.

A few times it looked like something might rekindle, but it never quite did; I always got a sense like we were somehow revolving around each other and always managed to barely miss connecting at the right time for both of us. Now it is a little over 2 years after having lived with her, and we've been seeing each other at a lot of social gatherings again, and I'm still very interested in her. She off-handedly mentioned she's been dating a guy, but it didn't sound like anything huge, and I'm not sure I even care. To be honest, I'm weary from the elusiveness of the spark between us and I'm about ready to just point blank tell her my feelings and see what happens. I still care about her for sure, but I can't keep going like this. So I asked the I Ching:
"What can I expect to happen between "she" and I in the next month?"

It came back Hexagram 36, line 4 changing. (changes to 55 - Abundance)

To me, this struck a real chord. It gave me a sense that no matter what, the heart of the matter will be dealt with and progress will be made for the better. It did puzzle me though. It's a very intense-sounding line in most readings, and very relevant to love/relationships in general. I also wondered for such an intense, almost grim line, it leads to a seemingly positive hexagram.

How do you interpret it? I would greatly appreciate any further insight. Thank you.

firerabbit
 
J

jesed

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ah... another one misleaded by hex 55 as "positive hexagram" for love issues!!!

Sorry to say, but the Yijing is clear about the meaning of hex 55: "a lot (abundance) of worries".

This comment shouldn't be understood in regard of your concrete situation; I'm not saying anything about what can you expect. This is only about the general understanding of the full text.

Best wishes
 

my_key

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Hi firerabbit

The thing with abundance is that the good things that come to us may well not be the good things we were expecting. So this is sort of saying that you are in a strong position to deal with the things that need to be dealt with before they deal with you.
The "better" is not always the better that you had envisaged.......it might be, but then again it might not.

Be well
Mike
 

Trojina

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Hello,

A little background to the situation: There is someone I used to live with for a year, and in that time she and I developed strong feelings for each other, however nothing substantial ever happened between us; there were various reasons for this, but the point is, when the lease was up, we all (3 roommates) went our separate ways, made new friends, and sort of found different niches from each other.

A few times it looked like something might rekindle, but it never quite did; I always got a sense like we were somehow revolving around each other and always managed to barely miss connecting at the right time for both of us. Now it is a little over 2 years after having lived with her, and we've been seeing each other at a lot of social gatherings again, and I'm still very interested in her. She off-handedly mentioned she's been dating a guy, but it didn't sound like anything huge, and I'm not sure I even care. To be honest, I'm weary from the elusiveness of the spark between us and I'm about ready to just point blank tell her my feelings and see what happens. I still care about her for sure, but I can't keep going like this. So I asked the I Ching:
"What can I expect to happen between "she" and I in the next month?"

It came back Hexagram 36, line 4 changing. (changes to 55 - Abundance)

To me, this struck a real chord. It gave me a sense that no matter what, the heart of the matter will be dealt with and progress will be made for the better. It did puzzle me though. It's a very intense-sounding line in most readings, and very relevant to love/relationships in general. I also wondered for such an intense, almost grim line, it leads to a seemingly positive hexagram.

How do you interpret it? I would greatly appreciate any further insight. Thank you.

firerabbit

well i see 36.4 as often about cutting your losses and running. I don't see it as rosy in regards to relationships. One perceives the darkness of another person or situation and removes themselves from it. With 1 line moving that line is most important, more important than the 55 IMO. Theres much obscurification in 55 ( i have no idea if that is an actual word)..well theres so much going on one often can't see the wood for the tress. I reckon in the midst of not seeing things too clearly you or the other come to see this isn't a bowl of cherries and head off. I thinkits possible you may come to see her true colours sooner or later and realise you don't actually want her much anyway

If you are getting along well this interpretation probably doesn't fit it all..but its my take anyway.

There aren't really negative and positive hexagrams see this http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?t=8682 but I can see one does tend to make more positive associations to some hexagrams despite knowing this. I don't have an especailly rosy view of 55, taking it often as the matter in question has already peaked...hmm
 

rosada

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I think the I Ching is mirroring back to you what you have suggested :

36.4
"You probably really aren't interested in me are you?"
55.
" Good, now that that's settled I can get on with my life."

I think the I Ching is suggesting you pause and consider how you approach your friend because your idea of point blank telling her your feelings seems destined to flop.
Rosada
 

ginnie

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Since you already know

To me, your H55 there means "too much." From the one H36.4 situation I can vividly recall from my own life, it was pretty terrible, relationship-wise. The other person was very angry about something every time I saw him and he just couldn't seem to calm down. It was quite a painful situation, really. I would say to avoid her completely if you can, since you already know what's coming is not pleasant.
 

rosada

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Hmm..just realized your question was not, "What if I tell her point blank how I feel? " but "What will happen between us in the next month?" Not sure what difference this makes. I still think you are being warned not to just blurt out your story - so awkward if she doesn't share your enthusiasm! - but now perhaps we should consider if the I Ching is just giving you a heads up about this being a difficult month for launching a relationship in general.

rosada
 

firerabbit

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thanks to everyone for posting your interpretations, I greatly appreciate it.

After really meditating on this reading, I really got the feeling the "darkness" of the whole situation had more to do with my own internal, convoluted motives and expectations for the relationship than with her getting involved with other people (I realized I was beginning to brood, feeling quite vindictive, jealous, and frustrated--NOT conducive to a healthy relationship). Anyway, the best course would seem to be to just drop it, lay low, and move on to other things.
 

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