hexagram 37.1 changing to 53 about debts and love

[myladythunder]

Hello everybody

I'm new to this website and relatively new to the Yi Jing. I started exploring this website a couple of weeks ago and it rekindled my interest in the oracle. I would very much appreciate some input on this divination!
Since last year I have been living with a great financial debt, partly because I choose to quit a very demanding job. I had to learn some big lessons the hard way and right now I am slowly laying the groundworks for a new life, together with my new love, who helped me a great deal with my personal healing process.
We have been living together for a couple of months now, with a financial agreement which separates my costs (and debts) entirely from his. We don't have much but we are happy together. However, he still has to learn to manage his money, coming from a warm nest where money-issues never existed. His parents are starting to wonder why we can afford so little, and i am inclined to tell them the thruth. My partner doesn't like the idea as he believes they will judge me.

Any advice at all on the matter would be very much appreciated!

 

[willowfox]

Explain to them the problems and circumstances, be honest, of course they will need time to digest what you have told them but don't appearing begging, just be as factual as possible. They will judge that's natural, but they will warm to you later for your honesty, so get cracking and talk to them, as its better to be honest than live a lie which will eventually be found out anyway.

 

[bamboo]

I get the feeling that it is your boyfriend's choice and responsibility to tell his parents what he wants to tell them and what he does not. 37.1 to me seems to warn about just what your bf said...they may not trust you and the may indeed judge you....
the other question is "is this their business at all- why do they need to be told anything about your financial status?".....unless they are funding their son, in which case he may need to do some explaining, but since your financial debts are separate, do they need to be brought forward?

37.1 is a tricky line......some families are very closed up and may not take kindly to explanations from someone they may see as not part of the family yet. So my feeling is that the boyfriend takes charge of what he tells his family or not, and then to let the whole issue come out gradually over time, as the relationship progresses and family acceptance of you grows.

 

[myladythunder]

First of all, thank you so much for the quick replies. Both comments have provided me with insight on the matter and I have made my decision.

Willowfox, I completely agree with your line of thought, the truth will eventually surface. I believe in honesty and in the long term they will hopefully appreciate my forwardness in the matter. Line 1in the Wilhem translation does seem to suggest such a turn in events ('remorse disappearing') However, I think Bamboo has a point with the family being closed up ('firm seclusion in the family').

Yesterday I had a discussion with my partner about it and he's agreed with me that it is time to tell them about my financial debacle. He doesn't like the idea very much but supports me anyway.

Yesterday i made a financial overview of our mutual costs and income, to get a better grasp of all the facts. I am trying to get my partner to take a look at them but he's been dodging my attempts at making him see... Anyway, later this week we are invited for dinner at his parents house, providing a great opportunity to raise the subject.

I will keep you posted on what happens next

 

[goddessliss]

what happened in the end?

 

[myladythunder]

what happened in the end?

Hi Godessliss,

In the end nothing happened I'm afraid.

Currently I'm in the middle of a painful break-up with him. It saddens me tell that over time, I discovered he was an addict with a self-destructive attitude towards life in general.

I never told his parents about my own problems because I found that in his family open communication & straight forwardness was frowned upon. I suspect his mother knows that her son has problems, but she seems to prefer keeping up appearances over confronting her son. I kept confronting him about his addictions, which resulted in our current break-up. His parents never warmed up to me and that feeling was mutual.

I'm sorry, it's a sad tale, I know.

 

[goddessliss]

Thanks for the update myladythunder,

Ha! well there you go I was married to man with addict tendencies and he too came from a family of money. We split up nearly 3 years ago after 18 years of marriage. Not easy to let go of someone you love but I have made a better life for myself by addressing my own issues. He on the other hand, sadly still hangs on to his addictions and his family still hang onto their bs. This is a long story short but I am sure you will get the gist of what I am saying.
Hope you are able to move on soon. Liss

 

[myladythunder]

Thanks for the update myladythunder,

Ha! well there you go I was married to man with addict tendencies and he too came from a family of money. We split up nearly 3 years ago after 18 years of marriage. Not easy to let go of someone you love but I have made a better life for myself by addressing my own issues. He on the other hand, sadly still hangs on to his addictions and his family still hang onto their bs. This is a long story short but I am sure you will get the gist of what I am saying.
Hope you are able to move on soon. Liss

That's all very recognisable

We split up about 5 months ago and the letting go part hasn't been easy. He did make an effort to change his ways, but not an honest one... I keep my distance and hang on in there. The best part of it all has been to be able to enjoy living alone again
I've always been a loner, when there's no people around me, that's when I charge my batteries. I forgot how to do that when we lived together. I seemed to forget lots of important things about myself when were together...