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hexagram 45.1.6 > 25 on whether or not someone is right about me.

sobriquet

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45.1.6 > 25

What they might be right about is not flattering. They went on a rant that made me question everything i've ever thought and was told by my mother growing up. They're my much older sibling. Initially I wasn't insecure about it (for example, they'd mentally rewritten an e-mail I sent that was still in both of our inboxes to include something I hadn't said, turned down an offer to go to counseling together while simultaneously lamenting that me, their "kid sibling", doesn't love or speak to them, etc)... and then I got to thinking and wondered just how wrong I might be. That maybe I am psychotic. Maybe they haven't been abusive and I've been the abusive one.

I'm not in a great headspace, so I can't decipher the answer, besides 45 line 6 perhaps saying a little bit of "pull yourself together." Any help would be appreciated.
 

sobriquet

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Whoops -- I can't seem to edit my post, but I wanted to say hello to all, and thank you fr having the forum open for everyone to use even though you guys need to make money off of doing readings et al. I've been lurking for many years.
 

Trojina

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45.1.6 > 25

What they might be right about is not flattering. They went on a rant that made me question everything i've ever thought and was told by my mother growing up. They're my much older sibling. Initially I wasn't insecure about it (for example, they'd mentally rewritten an e-mail I sent that was still in both of our inboxes to include something I hadn't said, turned down an offer to go to counseling together while simultaneously lamenting that me, their "kid sibling", doesn't love or speak to them, etc)... and then I got to thinking and wondered just how wrong I might be. That maybe I am psychotic. Maybe they haven't been abusive and I've been the abusive one.

I'm not in a great headspace, so I can't decipher the answer, besides 45 line 6 perhaps saying a little bit of "pull yourself together." Any help would be appreciated.

When I see lines 1 and 6 changing...well to me it appears the relating hexagram sort of eats the primary in one gulp. Make sense ? Well it might if you think that the change pattern is 27/28 here (yang pattern is what you get when all change lines are made yang/yin pattern when all change lines made yin)....in other words I see the 45 as gone through...all lines gone through from beginning to end quickly and into a 25 space.

So I am kind of seeing this recent communication issue as a bit of a flash in the pan. I mean if you look at the lines separately there is an attempt, somehow at coming together (line 1) that falls apart in line 6...possibly through a sense of disengagement (25).

It's funny you are asking if these bad things your siblings said are true or not and I think what you've got is a picture of an attempt to reconnect, to join together. Odd. It must be that beneath all that is going on one or both of you truly laments the disconnection and wants to make an effort to gather together again. Looks like someone reaching out (line 1) but finding only sadness (line 6). I can't be sure about the 25 here except it feels to go oddly with the 45. 45 seeks to gather and hold and invest where 25 accepts the moment not seeking more...which is very badly put but what I'm trying to say is it almost looks to me like someone poured their heart out/invested/tried to gather in and it was sort of shrugged off, not really seen for what it was perhaps.

So I can't answer your question other than to be aware that everything this person says about you I think might be coming from a submerged wish to connect. Perhaps things said in the moment....any old thing, curiously disconnected from the real wish of gathering (25) however random and ghastly were sort of being used as 'ways in' except it doesn't work (45.6).

My answer is completely impressionistic here and I cannot tell who is who is who in the reading but I do think someone sincerely wants or wanted to connect but perhaps did not do a very good job of it.

Now if it is a situation of abuse, you don't say what kind of abuse, this interpretation may sound very odd or inappropriate so you will have to take whatever seems to fit, if anything.
 

sobriquet

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I had to think about it, but yeah, that all makes sense. I'll try to split it into the appropriate person. Sibling was trying to make sense of a fight our mother and I had, and then it turned into them giving me a very long The Reason You Suck speech (thanks, TVtropes!), like they used to do to me back when it could make me cry. They haven't tried it since I got into therapy until now (the last time, they'd trapped me in a car to do it because I'd learned to hang up on them).

It was always under the guise of starting up am unrelated or tangentally related conversation, and then they'd remember their issues with me, and snap. Or it was always their plan to begin with, I don't know.

I've historically been the one to try and extend olive branches with sibling, but they never really stuck. They'd take something I said out of context, or me, being constantly on the defense, would do the same, and then things would go south, with mom merrily causing chaos between us and feeding on our insecurities. She always told me what my sibling would say that would hurt me...

Heavy mental abuse, yes.
 
D

diamanda

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As you say yourself, this is heavy mental abuse.
You're dealing with psychopathic evil ar$eh0les (or I think nowadays they call them NPDs or whatnot).
And it sounds like they're in it together, against you.
Nevermind their weird 'group' (45), just go by what your pure nature tells you (25).
 

sobriquet

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Hey, just wanted to poke my head in and say that Trojan's interpretation of a really bizarre method of trying to connect was spot on. My sibling has been nice, cheerful, and communicative. They told our narcissistic mother that we "had a talk" and "things are great now."

What happened differently this time, as opposed to me breaking down, defending myself, getting full-throated screamed at, and crying my eyes out as I had every time it's happened before, was that I shut my yap and started recording it. (My state requires only one party's consent for audio recordings.) They brought up genuine criticism of some behaviors of mine, too, and I acknowledged that I had done these things, and vowed to stop. Some jokes our mother had come up with that I embellished on, back before I knew how broken our mom was.

I didn't feel guilty about not acknowledging their birthday. I didn't feel guilty about not seeing them. I feel as though I've broken out of a cycle. Thank you all for your input and advice.
 

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