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Hexagram 55.2 to 34 and advice re course of action

veronica

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Hello everyone, I hope you all had a lovely and peaceful Xmas...

I'm in a difficult situation at the moment. I left a harmful relationship 5 years ago with my 1 year old son as I realised my ex partner suffered from a borderline personality disorder (undiagnosed, lack of cooperation on his part) as i was increasingly concerned about the effect of his behaviour on my and my little boys life. I have since met a lovely man and we are now married. My ex is now taking me to court over custody/increased access to our son although he has always had good regular contact. Our first court hearing was 2days after my wedding. People with borderline personality disorder feed off emotional reactions of people close to them and will go to any extent to satisfy that need. It is very difficult to prove it and i am very concerned about the effect of my ex's behaviour on my son, who is now 6 and starting to get noticeably affected. I know that if this continues then my little boy will get permanently emotionally scarred. I don't know what to do to get help as it is only my word against his. The next court hearing is on 28th January. I have asked the Yi what is the best course of action regarding my ex (to restore peace in our lives and ensure stability and safe life for my son). I received hexagram 55.2 to 34, which I'm finding difficult to interpret. Please help!
 

meng

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This is not a prediction, just an impression.

I'm seeing the use of force (forwardness) on your part as being justified in the eyes of the court.
 

ginnie

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Confidence in you is on the increase, even though right now it is rather low, perhaps because your ex was never formally diagnosed and it's your word against his. Couples will say bad things about each other when they break up. But it is likely that he will do or say something in court that will prejudice people against him and that will show that he is emotionally unstable. That's what I am thinking off the top of my head ...
:)
 

veronica

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Yes, I need some kind of a breakthrough (him saying or doing something at court) that will support my statement. I also definitely need more confidence to present the full extent of the problem. All I have is my diary and a social services report. I don't know if I will be believed (the Yi suggests that I need truthfulness and inner strength?) I'm struggling here with what advice I am given.
 

meng

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A strong attorney should be able to make a case from your diary and social services report, if there's one to be made. Otherwise 34 could take on a meaning of excess and entanglement.

I personally think your son's welfare should be supported by the court, providing your case is presented strongly. I'm getting that from line 2. Maybe he'll lose his cool or show that side you speak of, or maybe all that talk which creates 'mistrust and hate' is generally the nature of child custody cases.
 

veronica

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Thank you Meng for your last comment. My ex has recently threatened that if I try to bring up any issues regarding his behaviour at court in January (we will try to ask for psychological assessment) he will make sure that we will spend the next 15 years fighting in court. He has got a lot of money, I only have very limited funds and he is more than capable of carrying out his plan. I really hope that my attorney is good enough to present this case strongly. Do you think that 34 warns of the excess/entanglement due to his hate, resulting in dragging things out endlessly? I don't really understand how 34 fits in this scenario?
 

meng

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Do you think that 34 warns of the excess/entanglement due to his hate, resulting in dragging things out endlessly? I don't really understand how 34 fits in this scenario?

The hexagram, 34 in this case, can apply to many aspects of this entire situation. Maybe his aggression, maybe your strong emotions over this. I have no qualifications to make such determinations. Change lines are, I think, the biggest hint we're given about specifics, but all of these depend upon the reality of the context, and one side of a story does not a complete story tell. Sometimes 34 is trying to hard, forcing something, fighting, getting entangled, and getting untangled again (loses the goat). But I can't help to decide which of these or more apply. That job is left for you to discern.

My suggestion is to give it a little time and the best answer will likely come to you, without trying to force it.
 

veronica

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Thank you Meng. Hopefully the answer will come to me because I have asked for a piece of advice and the Yi's answer is not very clear to me....
 

veronica

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I have just asked another question: what course of action should I take to achieve the best possible outcome in court? I received hexagram 30 unchanging - any thoughts on that?
 

meng

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I have just asked another question: what course of action should I take to achieve the best possible outcome in court? I received hexagram 30 unchanging - any thoughts on that?

Never ask if I have any thoughts on something. Oy, have I got a thought.

How does "shine" sound?

I'm going to ask a candid question. Is it your child you're protecting or something or someone else? Until your aims are clear it's difficult to suggest a more clear action.

30 is clear (there's no smoky 36 in this one)
 

veronica

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Hi Meng, thank you for your last comment. I thought about your question long and hard. What prompted me to ask the last question was my little boy's behaviour when he came back from a week with his father last Sunday. He acted withdrawn, confused and sad. He would not cuddle me or speak to me. It took me 2-3 days to get him back to normal. He eventually told me that daddy tells him things, upsetting things about me and asks him to keep secrets from me. So in answer to your question, it is my son I am trying to protect that's for sure and create a family life for all of us where he can feel safe and stable against all the odds. I hope this clarifies things :)
 

meng

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Hi Veronica

I can only imagine that your split was difficult for your son, and his peculiar behavior could be symptomatic of all the confusion in his family life, maybe blaming himself, listening to each parent blaming each other.

Your last post did clarify what you said in your first post. A court recognized family councilor's assessment may help to end the abuses, and if not, it can be used in court.
 

ginnie

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what course of action should I take to achieve the best possible outcome in court? I received hexagram 30 unchanging - any thoughts on that?

It is auspicious to cultivate the more docile sides of your personality or self-presentation. In the legal setting, the more restrained and calm you are, the better. It is very important to conduct yourself with all propriety. You can be sure the truth will shine through brilliantly anyway, even though you are being low-key.
:)
 

veronica

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That's a brilliant piece of advice Ginnie, one that i will definitely follow. xxx
 

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