Hexagram 9.1

[Danai36]

Hello, my first time here although I have been reading clarity for years.

So here is my story. We fell in love with M. We feel as a perfect match. Things wouldn't develop although we were all day long communicating via messenger. I couldn't understand why. The reason is that the day we met he was already expecting a child. He didn't tell me because he didn't want to lose the only person he feels was made for him, me as he said. He doesn't know what he should do, neither do I. I never could imagine to experience something like this.

The question is, what position does M. have towards the relation with me. Hexagram 9.1.

I would really need need some help as I am so confused.

Thank you

 

[radiofreewill]

Hi Danai36,

"What position does M. have towards the relation with me?"

9.1 to 57 ~ He doesn't seem to have much flexibility here, and will likely be limited by raising his own child ~ until more favorable winds blow him your way.

So often it seems that when we find a perfect match ~ it is unfortunately not paired with perfect timing. This appears to be the case in your situation?

If he's married/engaged/committed, then ~ as hard as it may seem ~ you are probably better off reducing your expectations and keeping your options open for an even better perfect match.

How realistic, do you think, is the possibility of him leaving his current situation to be with you?

All Best

 

[maggie may]

I find that it can very difficult to interpret readings about the motivations and feelings of anther. It is difficult enough to figure out my own motivations and feelings.

Heaven below wants to move ahead but is restrained by the slow and gentle movement of wind above. Line one is the place of intentions. In this place the dragon does not act. There is difficulty at the beginning. I would say this is accurate of someone who is dishonest about having a child.

 

[Danai36]

Hi Danai36,

"What position does M. have towards the relation with me?"

9.1 to 57 ~ He doesn't seem to have much flexibility here, and will likely be limited by raising his own child ~ until more favorable winds blow him your way.

So often it seems that when we find a perfect match ~ it is unfortunately not paired with perfect timing. This appears to be the case in your situation?

If he's married/engaged/committed, then ~ as hard as it may seem ~ you are probably better off reducing your expectations and keeping your options open for an even better perfect match.

How realistic, do you think, is the possibility of him leaving his current situation to be with you?

All Best

First of all thank you for your reply.

I wouldn't want him to leave the current situation at this moment. After the birth he could. He tells me to stay close to him and that we will fight together. I don't fell to have that strength. We both believe we are soulmates. At the question how are things between us I got hexagram 1.3 and what is my lesson from all this I got 63 unchanging. I have already stepped back from all this but still I would love things to turn out differently.

 

[Danai36]

I feel he could have told me about the child and although I wouldn't act the same way,I can understand why he didn't. It is very difficult to step back when you already have so many feelings. But for my own good I already have. Strange thing how peoples lifes mix some times...
At the question how are things between us I got hexagram 1.3 and what is my lesson from all this I got 63 unchanging. I still see difficulties but not an end in these hexagrams

Best
D.

 

[maggie may]

H9.1 is about restraint and confused intentions. H1.3 is about taking action and being careful about it. H63 is about completion and taking care or guarding against further misfortune. There is much warning.

You don't tell much about your relationship with this person. But from the little you did tell, I have the image of a player. He is having a baby, lies about it, and is already planning "fighting it" and is also playing with you all day on messenger. You don't just leave after the birth of a baby. This is a lifelong involvement and commitment. It sounds cruel and dismissive to even speak of it that way. It feels like you are falling for the attention he is giving you. It seems this attention has leans towards deciet and abandonment. You did not explain why you think this person is your soulmate, but I hope it for more than chatting on messenger. A good man stands by his commitments and is honest and authentic. If he is willing to lie about the birth of a child to "get you" or keep you interested, then what else would he be willing to do or say? Players are good at giving attention and making another feel like it is the best thing in the world.

 

[radiofreewill]

I feel your sadness ~ your situation seems to be a near-miss on a great play of fate ~ but, who knows good from bad?

There once was a Chinese farmer whose only horse ran off. All of his neighbors came rushing over and said, "Oh no, this is terrible! You've lost your only horse, how will you plow your fields?"

To which the farmer replied, "Who knows good from bad?"

The next day, the horse came back with a mare. The neighbors came to greet this event with excitement, saying, "Wow, what good fortune! Now you will be able to plow your fields for generations!"

To which the farmer replied, "Who knows good from bad?"

Shortly after, the farmer's only son fell off the horse, and broke his leg. Predictably, the neighbors came as a gaggle and said, "Oh my gosh, who's going to help you bring in the harvest? This is a disaster!"

To which the farmer replied, "Who knows good from bad?"

Not two weeks later, the Army came through and conscripted every able-bodied young male for the war, leaving behind the injured son. As if on cue, the neighbors appeared and all proclaimed, "What luck! Your son gets to stay home with you!"

To which the farmer replied...

This is the Way.

I admire your inner strength in the face of strong feelings. :bows:

 

[Danai36]

Radiofreewill you made all my pain softer. Sometimes in life we just have to "Let it be" and trust. Easy to say. Just when we feel stronger than everything our delicate side knocks and reminds us we are human. Yes, since yesterday I decided to let go. I am sure good things wait for me at the next corner. Thank you