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His motives 29.1, my advice 38.4, evolution of us in re: to this 12uc

ck4vmjilu

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I would appreciate your POV's on these castings because I tend to see my answers very pessimistic and catastrophic interpretations when doing romantic relationship readings, especially with topics I'm emotionally invested and vulnerable with, so I usually try not to do them. But alas, curiosity got the best of me because I have just received the I Ching Workbook and was inspired to ask what my current boyfriend’s true motives are in re: to our relationship from some question examples given in the book.

Much to my confusion, I received 29.1 > 60. Danger > Limitations.
In terms of his motives, my first (hopefully panicked and incorrect) interpretation is that he's dangerous - he himself is accustomed to evil influences and doesn't fight them, wishing to make me accustomed to the same. Giving precedence to line 1 from the Workbook, "You (or he) have become accustomed to evil influences and no longer fight them. This could be the result of a weakness in character. In any event, you've (he's) lost your way. The more action you (he) takes, the farther afield you'll stray. Begin again at another time." I've done a Hex search on this forum and come to some other not so extremely negative basic ideas.
- Perhaps he's motivated to correct his own past repeated mistakes and evil influences via being in this relationship now - a means to begin again with Limitations (Hex 60). For example, he used to drink alcohol a lot more. We got together and he's cut his drinking way down.
- Or he's motivated to keep me (or himself) from allowing personal passions to lead to peril. By remaining non-active. Setting limitations and a form of detachment for himself and his involvement in our relationship. Staying as independent as possible, so to speak, setting limits on the extents of his attachment for me.


So I asked a follow up question seeking advice as to the best coarse of action for me in regards to his motives and received 38.4 > 41. Contradiction > Decrease.
The line reads "In the midst of opposition and isolation you will find someone with whom you have an inner affinity. A mutual trust can now develop and dangers can be overcome together. This co-operation can lead to significant accomplishments."
So I read this as either:
- Get comfortable being alone, or feeling alone or at opposing paths/mindsets/values with him. Advising I strive for my own independence, decreasing my own emotional investment in this. Finding affinity instead in a more friendship-based relationship rather than lovers. And then the dangers (perhaps relating to the Dangers of Hex 29.1...?) get worked out, overcome and we help each other out in some way with a mutually beneficial bond not based on romantic love.
- Or... better to be alone and then find someone else you have an inner affinity with and can build a relationship of mutual trust and co-operation, cuz the current boyfriend is not that guy.


And my final question after percolating the advice was "How is our relationship evolving with his motives and me following this advice?" and received 12 unchanging. Stagnation.
To quote the book "Relationships will be difficult at this time and you may, in fact, be adrift in a sea of misunderstandings and miscommunications. Hold courageously and unobtrusively to your values and inner confidence, for these times will certainly pass." and "Stagnation without changing lines indicates that the object of your inquiry may not be in harmony with the larger direction of your life at any time."
Dang, if that doesn't bleak :(. Basically we'll remain in opposition and become like pond water from a lack of growth (or flow) causing decay and I'll learn that I can only rely on myself regarding us. So this is leading me to think that the advice of Hex 38.4 was more inclined to be second interpretation rather than the others above that - ditch the current, there's someone I'll have more of an inner affinity out there.

I hope I'm just emotionally dramatizing my answers. I'd really appreciate your views on this readings, thank you in advance.
 

Lavalamp

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"What (are) my current boyfriend’s true motives (in) our relationship?"
29.1 > 60
60 Context - Limitations. The image is the water over a lake. Joy (lake) is restricted by the water. The amount of water is limited in a lake. The metaphors get a little mixed in this hex. Water-Lake mixed! Heh.
29 Abyss. Ok this hex is not really about evil I don't think. It is about how we learn from danger. Think martial artists, sparring - Bruce Lee said "Be like water." There is danger - you can't improve without facing it. Think a race car driver or a Test pilot. Think about when you take a chance on somebody. It is about learning from risk and developing our character from it. Here you have an opportunity to develop yourself.
29.1 Here having been through a couple challenges, the subject of the line is stuck.
> Best I can come up with here is in the context of your relationship - he's treading water.

"(What is the best) course of action for me?)
38.4 > 41
.
41 Decrease as context. This hexagram is about keeping your cool. Restrain your anger and instincts.
38 Opposition is the image of two people at odds with each other, not facing each other.
38.4 - My understanding of this line is - you have to trust somebody. Some interpetations/translations say a kindred spirit, some say it could be the first person you meet - but you have to trust somebody.

"How is our relationship evolving with his motives and me following this advice?"
You're asking a very unclear question.
12 unchanging.
Different classes of people lack communication. The great will depart and the inferior arrive.

I think this means you don't understand the Yi's advice.

- LL
 
F

Freedda

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"What (are) my current boyfriend’s true motives (in) our relationship?" 29.1 > 60

Looking at the Yi's imagery: it shows you and your friend, and each of you are dealing with - and hopefully learning from - your fears and what makes you feel exposed (not unlike the 'danger' LL talks about above). But it could be that you are struggling more with this than he is, and that the Yi is showing you an emotional wound or past hurt of yours that is still open - that is still unresolved.

So perhaps it's suggesting that here, in this case, that it's your own wound which needs attention and healing.
 
F

Freedda

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I have just received the I Ching Workbook ....
PS - I do not think this book is giving you the words or images from the I Ching. Instead it's telling you what one person thinks the Yi is telling you, and those are very different things. And along the way the author has removed all the Yi's imagery, so it's like 'reading' someone else's words of what a picture means - and not even what it actually shows - and at the same time, you haven't yourself seen the picture.
 

ck4vmjilu

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"What (are) my current boyfriend’s true motives (in) our relationship?"
29.1 > 60
60 Context - Limitations. The image is the water over a lake. Joy (lake) is restricted by the water. The amount of water is limited in a lake. The metaphors get a little mixed in this hex. Water-Lake mixed! Heh.
29 Abyss. Ok this hex is not really about evil I don't think. It is about how we learn from danger. Think martial artists, sparring - Bruce Lee said "Be like water." There is danger - you can't improve without facing it. Think a race car driver or a Test pilot. Think about when you take a chance on somebody. It is about learning from risk and developing our character from it. Here you have an opportunity to develop yourself.
29.1 Here having been through a couple challenges, the subject of the line is stuck.
> Best I can come up with here is in the context of your relationship - he's treading water.

"(What is the best) course of action for me?)
38.4 > 41
.
41 Decrease as context. This hexagram is about keeping your cool. Restrain your anger and instincts.
38 Opposition is the image of two people at odds with each other, not facing each other.
38.4 - My understanding of this line is - you have to trust somebody. Some interpetations/translations say a kindred spirit, some say it could be the first person you meet - but you have to trust somebody.

"How is our relationship evolving with his motives and me following this advice?"
You're asking a very unclear question.
12 unchanging.
Different classes of people lack communication. The great will depart and the inferior arrive.

I think this means you don't understand the Yi's advice.

- LL

Thank you very much LL, this definitely put things in a different perspective. Not as scary as I originally thought lol. Trust is definitely something I struggle with and feel like I myself am treading water on. And I agree, I didn’t (perhaps I still don’t fully) understand Yi’s advice. Your interpretations really help, I appreciate your reply.
 

ck4vmjilu

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"What (are) my current boyfriend’s true motives (in) our relationship?" 29.1 > 60

Looking at the Yi's imagery: it shows you and your friend, and each of you are dealing with - and hopefully learning from - your fears and what makes you feel exposed (not unlike the 'danger' LL talks about above). But it could be that you are struggling more with this than he is, and that the Yi is showing you an emotional wound or past hurt of yours that is still open - that is still unresolved.

So perhaps it's suggesting that here, in this case, that it's your own wound which needs attention and healing.

Thank you Freedda, I understand what you mean by using only the workbook as interpretation. I shouldn't do that. It just seemed so much simpler and comprehensible than the cryptic language of the Yi, but your reasoning as to why that's not a great thing makes a lot of sense. I was using Lise's website a lot and Bradford's book before getting this workbook, however it's rare that the answer just clicks and I can translate it to what I'm asking about. It does happen, just not very often :)

You've really hit the nail on the head with that interpretation. I definitely have a lot of emotional PTSD I've been dealing with. Inspired by your response, I asked Yi "What can I do to properly heal my emotional wounds?" and received 40.4 > 7. Release > The Militia.

From comparing the translations of both Lise and Bradford's work, in summary, I take this to mean continually practicing Forgiveness, which will take time and is a long journey so don't give up too easy - persistence is required drawing on hidden reserves. As well as discipline of the mind before the emotions (aka big toe) get carried away. I like Lise's commentary in context of the big toe in line 4: "you have to keep it in line by thinking before you let it push that big red button." When companions arrive, I need to trust. Bradford has a note for Release your big toe: Still not (in) the proper stance. Which makes me wonder if it means I'm still not looking at how to go about this healing properly, or I just haven't released the wounding yet overall.

His commentary for 40 "the tension builds up to its high point, but then it must let go" sounds a lot like how my emotional wounds have been showing up lately. Tidal waves in which build up to a breaking point. Then floods of tears, and usually some artistic expression of some sort, feels like I become a conduit for the outpouring of the tension that was building to get out. Then the sun returns, and all feels normal again. And his image interpretation sounds like I should "exercise a patient restraint until that magical moment when the world and I both want to go the same way." The process of release is maintaining patience and doing the best I can until that moment it just clicks. When you wake up and it just doesn't bother you anymore.

Anyways, I appreciate your insight. If you have any additional commentary on 40 > 7, I welcome it, but either way - I wish you the best!
 

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