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How am I perceived by men? 29.2.5 to 2

dancingfox

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I have been working on myself and my relationships. I keep meeting men who only want to play around. I would love to have a real, nourishing, engaged relationship again. How come I keep meeting the wrong men? What do they see when they meet me?

How am I perceived by men?
29.2.5 to 2
Being receptive to repeating chasms

Hex 29 symbolizes water flowing on and on and abyss upon abyss.
line 2: I appear threatening or overwhelming at first
line 5: the pit is not full: recognise the potential for completeness. No blame.
Hex 2 is all about femininity to me. And come to think of it Hex 29 is very feminine as well.

I am not getting this one. It is more difficult then usual because of the question. All insights and advice would be much appreciated.
 

my_key

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How am I perceived by men?
29.2.5 to 2
29 meaning 'what is above'
2 meaning ' being supple'
Nuclear 27 meaning 'correcting what nourishes you'

The deep influences behind this consultation are drawing you towards finding the right things that nourish you within your relationships with men. (27)Your challenge in all this is to be able to reflect with true discernment (29)and so understand more clearly how to change what you say and how you behave (2) to bring about a different perception of you.


29.2 - Expect new realisations about how you perceive things to come to you slowly. Don't expect to be able to jump out of the relationship abyss in one leap. Let the realisations come to you rather than go searching for them.

29.5 - Maybe you already know enough, from past experiences, about men's perception of you to make some changes and to rebalance your world. Accept the wisdom you already possess and use this to act now and start your new approach to life. The rest will follow.

...or it may mean nothing like this for you.

Good Luck
 
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redoleander

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How am I perceived by men?
29.2.5 > 2


29.2 might actually represent what you're describing, seeking "small achievement" only. Perhaps your depth or complexity is not what they are seeking and so they're looking for the "small" of something casual. Obviously people who seek casual connections have their own reasons for that and it's really not about you. They will perceive you in accordance with what suits them.

29.5 "The pit does not overfill. The earth spirit is already calm." Perhaps they perceive you as steady, calm, and self-sufficient? Not needing their help, maybe. Unless it's flipped and they see you as deep in your own healing work. Have you revealed a lot about that to them?

Hex 2 is feminine, yes. Receptive. That might be literal, although 2 as resulting hexagram sometimes seems to simply not amount to much which also reflects your experience of these connections not turning into more.

My first thought with 29 was about being deep, mysterious, maybe even dark or intimidating? Is it possible you're simply out of the depth of the people you've been dating? Maybe they fear commitment or something that requires work, or the deep connection of 29.
 

liquidity

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I have been working on myself and my relationships. I keep meeting men who only want to play around. I would love to have a real, nourishing, engaged relationship again. How come I keep meeting the wrong men? What do they see when they meet me?

How am I perceived by men?
29.2.5 to 2
Being receptive to repeating chasms

Hex 29 symbolizes water flowing on and on and abyss upon abyss.
line 2: I appear threatening or overwhelming at first
line 5: the pit is not full: recognise the potential for completeness. No blame.
Hex 2 is all about femininity to me. And come to think of it Hex 29 is very feminine as well.

I am not getting this one. It is more difficult then usual because of the question. All insights and advice would be much appreciated.
It's 29 "Danger" and 2 "The Receptive"... before even reading the text of your message, I thought "Dangerously Receptive." As in -- dangerously available, dangerously willing, dangerously open.

I keep meeting men who only want to play around.
Which makes perfect sense if that's how they see you.
 
D

diamant

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How am I perceived by men? 29.2.5 > 2
Not asking for much (29.2) and pacifying (29.5) and accepting of others (2).
 

Trojina

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I have been working on myself and my relationships. I keep meeting men who only want to play around. I would love to have a real, nourishing, engaged relationship again. How come I keep meeting the wrong men? What do they see when they meet me?

How am I perceived by men?
29.2.5 to 2
Being receptive to repeating chasms

Hex 29 symbolizes water flowing on and on and abyss upon abyss.
line 2: I appear threatening or overwhelming at first
line 5: the pit is not full: recognise the potential for completeness. No blame.
Hex 2 is all about femininity to me. And come to think of it Hex 29 is very feminine as well.

I am not getting this one. It is more difficult then usual because of the question. All insights and advice would be much appreciated.

It's an impossible question in a sense because men are all individual people, they won't have just one shared view of you. I don't think you are being given a picture of how you are perceived by men but you are being told to stop and go no further with this line of thought that there's a group shared view of you and it is that which gets in the way of a connection. It's not that I don't think.

Above all I think 29 is much to do with the stormy seas of emotions, feelings, complexes we are barely aware of. So much is unknown and hidden here unlike it's pair, 30, where all is open to scrutiny and understanding.


At this time you can't understand what's happening there's still too many unknown depths in yourself to think it's all straightened out now and all you have to do is figure what their perception of you is.



I say you're being told to go no further with this line of thought in line 2 since it says

'The chasm has its dangers/sheer sides.
Seeking, small gains.'

You can't make the big move forward you might be dreaming of at this time, it's still quite dangerous for you. Perhaps the fact no one seems to be offering commitment is a real blessing in disguise?

Line 5

'The chasm not overflowing,
Here it is already peaceful/ Earth gods already have enough.
No mistake.'

You're okay emotionally but take it steady, it probably isn't the time for you to leap into full on commitment anyway. To me it feels like you aren't quite safe yet emotionally and Yi is emphasizing that you are in fact still in danger. What the danger is only you know but certainly you aren't home and dry by any means. That is you could be easily knocked off balance emotionally at this point. So the cost to you of embarking on a committed relationship is something you may be being protected from at this time.


I think the 2 here would be you in a state of emotional rest, just being as you are as opposed to the you who is currently trying/aiming for a full on relationship. It's all a bit too much to ask of yourself at the minute perhaps so just rest from it for a while there's probably more clarity to come on your emotional capacity at this time.
 

dfreed

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How am I perceived by men?
29.2.5 to 2
Dancingfox, I hope you don't mind, but I have a question for you. Feel free to respond only if you want to.

I was wondering, given that you are working on yourself - and perhaps exploring deeply (as water does), is it possible that your question about men (about others) could also be about you and your relationship with relationships?

I ask, perhaps out of a bit of selfishness, because what I'm sensing in my own interpretation has more to do with you and your journey - and less to do with us guys and what we might think of you.

Kindly, D
 
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dancingfox

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Good Morning everybody,

You have given me so much to think about. I have found some truth in each reply and in some of your replies, a whole lot of truth. As some of you pointed out this is perhaps not quite the right question for me that needs to be answered. This was a difficult question for me to ask... it's a piece of myself I struggle with. But I have always found this forum to be a source of new insights,wisdom and support. Thank you so much for the constructive insights. I will take my time after work today to dive in this reading again.
 
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dfreed

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I have been working on myself and my relationships ....

How am I perceived by men? 29.2.5 to 2
Hello Dancingfox:

I get the sense that your 'work' is still in process: both moving lines (2 and 5) are in the middle place of each of the two trigrams (3-line figures). For Hex. 29 both trigrams are Kan, water, exposure. And this idea of being in the 'midst of it' is reflected in the moving lines:

29.2 - The pit has a drop. Expect to gain a little.
29.5 - The pit is not filled, though all around is level. No misfortune. (trans. Field)

I see these as saying there are still some challenges you're working through (steep sides you are climbing out of), and you haven't yet made it to level, earthly ground. So, you are not yet seeing much gain (relationship-wise), but it is entirely possible (i.e. no misfortune) you will.

You are moving - or growing - from Hex. 29 to 2, meaning that when you've gotten further along with your growth, your relationships with men are perhaps likely to change. And I see Hex. 2 as both the path and the goal: you can (or will, or need to) continue to do the real work necessary, to get you to a place where you can accept a real, supportive, 'down-to-earth' relationship. (Or something like that.)

I hope that's of some use to you. D
 
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dancingfox

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29 meaning 'what is above'
2 meaning ' being supple'
Nuclear 27 meaning 'correcting what nourishes you'

The deep influences behind this consultation are drawing you towards finding the right things that nourish you within your relationships with men. (27)Your challenge in all this is to be able to reflect with true discernment (29)and so understand more clearly how to change what you say and how you behave (2) to bring about a different perception of you.
Hello Key

Sorry for the late reply. I needed a lot of time for this one.

I believe I have been doing this ever since I was a little girl; projecting a certain image of myself in order to protect something. When I was little it helped me to feel safe. But now it's time to let go of that coping mechanism and let the real me shine through. That way people will get a different, more truthful perception of me and I will give myself a fair chance to eventually meet a good guy. How to change my behaviour is still so much work in progress. But I think have made a fair start.
 

dancingfox

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How am I perceived by men?
29.2.5 > 2


29.2 might actually represent what you're describing, seeking "small achievement" only. Perhaps your depth or complexity is not what they are seeking and so they're looking for the "small" of something casual. Obviously people who seek casual connections have their own reasons for that and it's really not about you. They will perceive you in accordance with what suits them.

29.5 "The pit does not overfill. The earth spirit is already calm." Perhaps they perceive you as steady, calm, and self-sufficient? Not needing their help, maybe. Unless it's flipped and they see you as deep in your own healing work. Have you revealed a lot about that to them?

Hex 2 is feminine, yes. Receptive. That might be literal, although 2 as resulting hexagram sometimes seems to simply not amount to much which also reflects your experience of these connections not turning into more.

My first thought with 29 was about being deep, mysterious, maybe even dark or intimidating? Is it possible you're simply out of the depth of the people you've been dating? Maybe they fear commitment or something that requires work, or the deep connection of 29.
Hi Redoleander

Yes deep and intimidating, not needing their help and definitely out of their depth. I have been chasing relationships with men who called me all of these things. Most of them weren't interested in commitment or a deep connection. Two things I know are important to me in order to be in a fulfilling relationship. Out of their depth because I was trying to be someone I am not. Luckily none of these connections became more then they should be :) It's difficult being by myself but I tried being in a committed relationship with the wrong man for me and that didn't end well. Then I tried pursuing relationships with men who weren't ready to be in a committed relationship. With none of these men I was being honest with myself or with them. So now I am working on being true to myself which is a whole new chapter for me.
 

dancingfox

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It's an impossible question in a sense because men are all individual people, they won't have just one shared view of you. I don't think you are being given a picture of how you are perceived by men but you are being told to stop and go no further with this line of thought that there's a group shared view of you and it is that which gets in the way of a connection. It's not that I don't think.

Above all I think 29 is much to do with the stormy seas of emotions, feelings, complexes we are barely aware of. So much is unknown and hidden here unlike it's pair, 30, where all is open to scrutiny and understanding.


At this time you can't understand what's happening there's still too many unknown depths in yourself to think it's all straightened out now and all you have to do is figure what their perception of you is.



I say you're being told to go no further with this line of thought in line 2 since it says

'The chasm has its dangers/sheer sides.
Seeking, small gains.'

You can't make the big move forward you might be dreaming of at this time, it's still quite dangerous for you. Perhaps the fact no one seems to be offering commitment is a real blessing in disguise?

Line 5

'The chasm not overflowing,
Here it is already peaceful/ Earth gods already have enough.
No mistake.'

You're okay emotionally but take it steady, it probably isn't the time for you to leap into full on commitment anyway. To me it feels like you aren't quite safe yet emotionally and Yi is emphasizing that you are in fact still in danger. What the danger is only you know but certainly you aren't home and dry by any means. That is you could be easily knocked off balance emotionally at this point. So the cost to you of embarking on a committed relationship is something you may be being protected from at this time.


I think the 2 here would be you in a state of emotional rest, just being as you are as opposed to the you who is currently trying/aiming for a full on relationship. It's all a bit too much to ask of yourself at the minute perhaps so just rest from it for a while there's probably more clarity to come on your emotional capacity at this time.
Hello Trojan,

I waited a long time with my response because I needed to distance myself from the matter in order to get a better understanding of what was happening to me.

I knew this probably wasn't the wisest question for me. What you get in the end is Yi's image of my own attitude towards men. I was frustrated when I asked the question because at the time it felt as if all possible 'suitors' (so to say) only had one cliché and false image of me.

I agree I am not ready for a commitment and yes it's a blessing right now even if it does get lonely at times. What frustrates me is that I am no longer able to enjoy a more casual connection in the meantime. There was a time when I could just enjoy that... just not right now it seems! It's just really really black or white for me at the moment and I just have to accept that. In that way I certainly recognise what you said about not being home or dry by any means. Thank you as usual for your great insights.
 

dancingfox

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Dancingfox, I hope you don't mind, but I have a question for you. Feel free to respond only if you want to.

I was wondering, given that you are working on yourself - and perhaps exploring deeply (as water does), is it possible that your question about men (about others) could also be about you and your relationship with relationships?

I ask, perhaps out of a bit of selfishness, because what I'm sensing in my own interpretation has more to do with you and your journey - and less to do with us guys and what we might think of you.

Kindly, D
Hi Dfreed

You were absolutely right. As I mentioned in my reply to Trojan.
I knew this probably wasn't the wisest question for me. What you get in the end is Yi's image of my own attitude towards men.
This isn't about you guys and indeed all about my journey. Thank you for your kind words.
 

dancingfox

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Hello Dancingfox:

I get the sense that your 'work' is still in process: both moving lines (2 and 5) are in the middle place of each of the two trigrams (3-line figures). For Hex. 29 both trigrams are Kan, water, exposure. And this idea of being in the 'midst of it' is reflected in the moving lines:

29.2 - The pit has a drop. Expect to gain a little.
29.5 - The pit is not filled, though all around is level. No misfortune. (trans. Field)

I see these as saying there are still some challenges you're working through (steep sides you are climbing out of), and you haven't yet made it to level, earthly ground. So, you are not yet seeing much gain (relationship-wise), but it is entirely possible (i.e. no misfortune) you will.

You are moving - or growing - from Hex. 29 to 2, meaning that when you've gotten further along with your growth, your relationships with men are perhaps likely to change. And I see Hex. 2 as both the path and the goal: you can (or will, or need to) continue to do the real work necessary, to get you to a place where you can accept a real, supportive, 'down-to-earth' relationship. (Or something like that.)

I hope that's of some use to you. D
Thank you for your explanation about the middle lines in the repeating water trigams. This is still uncharted territory for me in my study of the I Ching.

Yes I feel like I am moving or growing but the way is full of hazards, twists and turns. I hope I will look back at this time of my life one day and smile and be grateful for all that it taught me.
 

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