How gender in the oracle relates to my question about dating. 4.3 > 18

[leighl]

This guy has been pursuing me for a few months now. I find myself very hot and cold with him and feel certain we are not a good match even though I find him attractive and think he's a nice person. We had a nice weekend together, and I enjoyed his company for the most part. He's been really accepting of my uncertainty, and I would say things have been inching very slowly toward the possibility of a relationship. I'm not sure I want that even though I am enjoying the way things are.

I asked Yi how I should proceed with him. 4.3 > 18.

Am I the woman here that is making him into this man of bronze (I see this as a soulless idea of a person or something like that)? Or could it be that I should not pursue him because he idealizes me? I am curious about how gender shows up in the answers. Are the genders symbols and not direct responses to the question? Do most people use the use their intuition here or put some stock in the genders in the oracle?

Regardless, it does seem pretty clear that Yi is advising me against this person.

 

[rosada]

I see gender as referring to the conscious and the unconscious mind or the instincts. The conscious mind sets the intention, the goal, and the unconscious mind finds the way to manifest or reach the conscious goal. In hexagram 4 we have the story of an inexperienced person who cannot progress further without some real life experience, as shown in 4.1, he does have a sufficient amount of knowledge programed into his hard-drive to handle the basics, 4.2, but with 4.3 we reach a point where the soul mustn't just keep following what others outside of themselves are doing but must make their own choices and experience those consequences. The maiden losing herself to the man of bronze represents someone who doesn't control their focus, doesn't develop their own talents, ideas, viewpoint, consciousness, but instead unconsciously goes along with what someone else suggests.
As advice for how to proceed with your friend I think you are being told not to be pulled of course by his strong intention. Get clear about what you are looking for. Like at the end of the day make a point of consciously reflecting and note what was really good about the day, like you are programing your unconscious to know what you want more of. The more clear you are about what pleases you the more you will find you don't have to do anything, you will either be separated from this man or inspired to move closer.

Hexagram 4 is about gaining experience and sometimes you have to kiss a lot of toads before you meet the handsome prince.

 

[moss elk]

I must ask the obvious,
how is he financially?
and you for that matter?

 

[leighl]

Hi Moss,

Thanks for the response. Trying to stay on clear on what I really want despite his strong intention makes a lot of sense to me within the reading. Difficult for me in this case. Maybe that is part of the gaining experience.

Regarding finances, I have had extenuating circumstances as of late that have put me in a bind financially. He doesn’t make a whole lot of money and I think supports his parents to some degree. Everything we do together is split 50/50. Is this relevant to the reading somehow? I’ve seen others call the woman in this line a gold digger.

 

[moss elk]

"I find myself very hot and cold with him and feel certain we are not a good match."
Your intuition is a very important thing.
Listen to it.


I find it likely that the man of bronze refers to a man of wealth and status. (bronze coins, bronze weaponry, bronze age.) instead of idolizing someone. (which is covered in 16.3)

So. I see it as suggesting not to factor in his 'wealth' in your decision making. (especially if you are in a financial rough patch.)