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how should I behave with this boy, for my own sake, and to have a good friendship?

CheersC

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we are speaking of someone who seems to be strongly unstable and he even thinks he is fun. First day he treats you well, then he doesn't give a damn about your safety (like when you have to reach the car at night) and about your wellbeing (if your feets hurt), then again he jokes like a stupid person and as if he is the king everyone wants to be after to. The following day he ignores you again.
After that, I started being cold and distant to see if he changed attitude for a lil while. Like being nice... It didn't last for long. He is like 2 people in the same body.
How should I behave from now on with him, in order to improve the ''friendship'' and not have to fight him all the time?
He let me quite angry and I'm feeling unsure now because I can't deny I am physically attracted to him.
it's 55.5.6 which becomes 13
13 says I should use the excuse of some social gathering among friends
55.5 says I should focus on my entertainment than to his attitude, so I should be funny and clever quick witted... (it induces me into coffee dependency u,u)
55.6 says he will act like a proud jerk and by doing so he will lose me...i will go away and he will feel lonely.
 
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moss elk

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we are speaking of someone who seems to be bipolar. First day he treats you well, then he doesn't give a damn about your safety and about your wellbeing, then again he jokes like a stupid person...after that he ignores you.
How should I behave from now on with that weirdo.

Maybe you should immediately start having his babies. I mean, surely there is a shortage in this world of bi-polar, inconsiderate, reckless, stupid, weirdo jerks.


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lysistrata


Maybe I am wrong though.
Any ladies care to comment?
 
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Trojina

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Moss Elk is right

Maybe you should immediately start having his babies. I mean, surely there is a shortage in this world of bi-polar, inconsiderate, reckless, stupid, weirdo jerks.

:rofl:

we are speaking of someone who seems to be bipolar. First day he treats you well, then he doesn't give a damn about your safety and about your wellbeing, then again he jokes like a stupid person...after that he ignores you.
How should I behave from now on with that weirdo, in order to reconcile?
I hate him but i feel attracted (at least physically!)

Well I don't think the behaviours you describe necessarily categorise him as bipolar ? I'm presuming you aren't qualified to diagnose him ?

However why in the name of sanity would you want to reconcile with someone who doesn't give a damn about your safety and then ignores you :confused:

You don't need a Yi reading you just need to read your own words and imagine a friend said that to you.

Good Grief ! Someone who doesn't give a damn about your safety isn't a friend and so not worth reconciling with. Your life will be better without him.

I'm baffled why is your attraction to him of any significance when he doesn't give a *** about you ?
 

rosada

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If you hate him but feel physically attracted to him and yet you say HE'S the one acting bipolar? Give this man a break and move on.
 

CheersC

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Dear gals, I didn't ask for a judging a comment. And what is ''you say he's the one acting bipolar'' mean?'' supposed to mean? That I can't define myself attracted by a person who makes me angry? lol
Neither i think I ching is here to judge... so calm down before insulting me.
''Bipolar'' was just a ''kind'' way to call him, no diagnoses were meant to do, ofc.
The reason of this question is that I'm quite attracted though, but I want to face him, I dont want to ignore him just because he is weird or rude. I can't really ignore him because he looked for me and he is somehow always available in those social gatherings...
could you understand that?
Now...if it is not bad to ask...could be the i ching right with my opinion where I should behave the most happiest person in the world?
and not having babies with him? lol
Trojina calm down please XD
i think there is nothing bad to try to have friendships instead of being angry or insult them all along... otherwise, the i ching would have never sent a 13, but maybe a 4 hex. (if it sounded like an unreasonable question)
=) i'm more for the peace than for the war even if the guy is a bit too much rude.
 

rosada

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Okay, that was rather blunt.
Looking at the lines -
55. is about something being at it's peak so I see 55.5 being the great physical attraction.
55.6 then is the realization that after the sex there's nothing else happening here, in fact, people prefer to not even see each other.
and that's what this
13. Friendship
is all about.
So for now assume you are f**k buddies and don't assume there is anything more to it.
Perhaps if you can get your mind around this and be okay with it you'll at least stop feeling you've been deceived and won't feel so hateful, and who knows, perhaps this new attitude, this willingness to recognize the reality, will open up possibilities for real friendship.
 

Liselle

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Rosada, while I mostly really do agree with M.E. and Trojina, that's a really creative interpretation of that reading, hexagram 55, and how the lines might work together. I would never have thought of that. Can't say I understand it completely, if "understanding" means "could apply it to future readings" or "put it into my own words" as teachers in school always wanted, but still - :bows:
 

CheersC

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Then... Could you all please explain me the lines better?
Relating to my question, please...
 

rosada

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When I wrote "you say HE'S the one acting bipolar" I meant that your description of your own feelings (hating yet wanting to be friends) sounded as weird as anything you said he was doing and thus I questioned if he were the "bipolar" one here.
 

CheersC

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Rosada, while I mostly really do agree with M.E. and Trojina, that's a really creative interpretation of that reading, hexagram 55, and how the lines might work together. I would never have thought of that. Can't say I understand it completely, if "understanding" means "could apply it to future readings" or "put it into my own words" as teachers in school always wanted, but still - :bows:
Mine or theirs? At least I added my interpretation... their comments are like ''you can't ask that''.
Then thanks, I undertood so much... next time i won't put any description if the reaction was to say you can't ask a question to the oracle.

And I still don't get what's so weird about the 55.5.6..it isn't even a crazy 4.
 

CheersC

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When I wrote "you say HE'S the one acting bipolar" I meant that your description of your own feelings (hating yet wanting to be friends) sounded as weird as anything you said he was doing and thus I questioned if he were the "bipolar" one here.
I didn't want to make long poems about that. I could even write poetry but nobody should care that much because it would only be a small description of reality.
There's nothing bipolar to say I hate him but I would like that to change when you have a small but existing interest on him. I said he's bipolar because he has an insane behavior, which goes from pretending to be interested, to disappear without saying bye..
and yes the thing about giving a damn about my safety was actually the reason he got me mad, but at the same time I wished I could let him know what was bad in his behavior.
And since he even tried to be friends with me after that episode, I have to face him somehow. I already tried to be cold and distant, but we can't keep ignoring eachother like that since he ALWAYS tries to get my attention somehow when he wants to. If someone provokes me then I feel I have to say something. His behavior is driving me nuts.

For my own sake I would probably forget about him,and keeping ignoring him...but I want to go deeper and play it all along until it lasts. I also want to understand what's inside his mind, I want to see if he is that mean as he seems...and If I can change things. If they dont, it will be a meaningful weird experience. XD gosh, all replied here like if I asked to rob
 
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CheersC

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Okay, that was rather blunt.
Looking at the lines -
55. is about something being at it's peak so I see 55.5 being the great physical attraction.
55.6 then is the realization that after the sex there's nothing else happening here, in fact, people prefer to not even see each other.
and that's what this
13. Friendship
is all about.
So for now assume you are f**k buddies and don't assume there is anything more to it.
Perhaps if you can get your mind around this and be okay with it you'll at least stop feeling you've been deceived and won't feel so hateful, and who knows, perhaps this new attitude, this willingness to recognize the reality, will open up possibilities for real friendship.
I missed this post. Thank you Rosada, now it's clearer!! Basically, it says that even if I make a move he will keep being that way, and there won't be any real friendship - besides the fk buddies' chance. Even if we were bed buddies there wouldn't necessarily be a friendship because we would not see eachother anymore.
Thank you again. I'm now forgetting about the blunt posts, and now it's just up to me to have a clear idea about what to do.
 

equinox

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I agree with rosada that not only he is behaving inconsistent, as you say, you seem to be torn as well between trust and distrust. I think the Yi is not giving a predictive but a descriptive answer here.
 

Liselle

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Mine or theirs?
I meant Rosada's. I said this:
Rosada, while I mostly...

Every bit of uninvolved third-party logic says that when someone behaves that badly to you, you should tell them to GO AWAY.

However, you're right, I don't think Yi is saying that. So what is Yi saying? I have no idea. Rosada has come up with something, so maybe think about what she said about your reading, and see how you feel about it, whether it sounds right to you.
 

Liselle

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MULTIPLE post crossing. Yay internet. :D
 

Trojina

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Dear gals, I didn't ask for a judging a comment.

Moss Elk is a boy. Don't judge our responses as 'judging' it's an honest response. Our valid question of why you want to reconcile with someone who doesn't care about your safety at all whom you call a 'weirdo' was a valid question. You have mentioned your lack of safety and the fact he's a 'weirdo' so you might see that readers are going to think 'this girl needs to stay away from this guy'

Sorry I'm not an answering machine I'm human and it's a human question.


And what is ''you say he's the one acting bipolar'' mean?'' supposed to mean? That I can't define myself attracted by a person who makes me angry? lol


In general the referencing of bipolar by you and others is a bit off given I think it's mental health awareness week here in the UK using the term bipolar as a kind of slang for not caring could be seen as offensive to people who actually do have bipolar.

Why are you attracted to someone who doesn't care about your safety ?

Neither i think I ching is here to judge... so calm down before insulting me.
''Bipolar'' was just a ''kind'' way to call him, no diagnoses were meant to do, ofc.

It's not kind it could be quite degrading to those with bipolar and it shows a lack of awareness. Oh I get it maybe in the US you all use 'bipolar' as slang to mean in two minds or something ? That's not good for real sufferers of bipolar.


The reason of this question is that I'm quite attracted though, but I want to face him, I dont want to ignore him just because he is weird or rude. I can't really ignore him because he looked for me and he is somehow always available in those social gatherings...
could you understand that?

You need to re read how you described him in your first post...it is actually a funny post whether you intended it or not it reads like

"There's this psychopath who doesn't care about me at all and sometimes he is very rude. I am attracted to him though so how can I reconcile with him"

:confused:

Do you understand if you put yourself in the reader's place for one moment what impression that gives ?

Now...if it is not bad to ask...could be the i ching right with my opinion where I should behave the most happiest person in the world?
and not having babies with him? lol

No one said it was bad to ask...but how could any sane responsible person advise you how to reconcile with someone who has no care for your safety ? I'm not going to do that, I'm not going to take my brain out of the picture and answer how you can reconcile with someone who puts you in danger.



Trojina calm down please XD

:confused: I'm quite calm

i think there is nothing bad to try to have friendships instead of being angry or insult them all along... otherwise, the i ching would have never sent a 13, but maybe a 4 hex. (if it sounded like an unreasonable question)
=) i'm more for the peace than for the war even if the guy is a bit too much rude.

But you don't just want a friendship do you, you said you were attracted to him. So you don't need to have peace or war just avoid him.

Also lets be quite clear that you insulted him ! You called him a weirdo ! You said

How should I behave from now on with that weirdo, in order to reconcile?

If you call him a weirdo and a weirdo that doesn't care about your personal safety how do you think that sounds to people who read your posts !??

You really think after speaking of him that way it's going to sound like a great idea to reconcile with him.

:confused:

anyway if people want to interpret it's up to them I ain't doing it
 
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moss elk

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In the U.S., some young people bastardize the word bipolar as a catch-all for Unstable. I usually hear it from people 25 y/o and younger.
It's a lingo/culture thing.
 
D

diamanda

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The question phrasing is problematic. "How to behave" is a great part of it. "For my own sake" is good too. The next part is very confusing: and to have a good friendship.

The issues are that a) you're assuming that a good friendship would be best for your sake, b) you ask about friendship when it's clear that this is an erotic situation, and c) that you already know that a good friendship with such a horrible character is not possible.

13 is about similar people hanging out together. No matter how bright you are (55.5) the guy cannot see it (55.6). Best to search for people similar to yourself. OR, be bright one moment (55.5) and an arrogant recluse the next moment (55.6), so as to become more similar to this psychopathic nasty weirdo.

In any case, please try to phrase your questions more carefully.
 

CheersC

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In the U.S., some young people bastardize the word bipolar as a catch-all for Unstable. I usually hear it from people 25 y/o and younger.
It's a lingo/culture thing.
that was the meaning. Among friends we often say that xD
of course I wasn't making a diagnosis...! But i thought it was pretty obvious. He has some issues for sure but it's not the mean theme here or place to talk about it.
 

CheersC

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The question phrasing is problematic. "How to behave" is a great part of it. "For my own sake" is good too. The next part is very confusing: and to have a good friendship.

The issues are that a) you're assuming that a good friendship would be best for your sake, b) you ask about friendship when it's clear that this is an erotic situation, and c) that you already know that a good friendship with such a horrible character is not possible.

13 is about similar people hanging out together. No matter how bright you are (55.5) the guy cannot see it (55.6). Best to search for people similar to yourself. OR, be bright one moment (55.5) and an arrogant recluse the next moment (55.6), so as to become more similar to this psychopathic nasty weirdo.

In any case, please try to phrase your questions more carefully.
Yes, what I meant wasn't properly a friendship but how to improve our ''relationship''.
But I think the I ching isn't term-paranoid so if there won't be a friendship it will say that...If there won't be even an ''hello how are you'' it will say that.

Your view is the most interesting I read so far (I read only 4 points of view actually, yours, mine, the one of Rosada, and a real friend of mine)...the part in which ''I can be bright and have an effort but he will not see it'' (55.6). We have no contacts so far but he keeps trying to get my attention.
 

CheersC

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@Trojina, I quote last part that is topic-specific: <<If you call him a weirdo and a weirdo that doesn't care about your personal safety how do you think that sounds to people who read your posts !??
You really think after speaking of him that way it's going to sound like a great idea to reconcile with him.:confused:
Anyway if people want to interpret it's up to them I ain't doing it>>

It's up to you. Other people will do what they want. But you actually wrote a novel about how not talking about it.:rofl:
And to answer this question, no, it's not a great idea, I never meant that!!!!!!!!! I edited the post!!!
''friendship'' was just to boost, as another way to say ''how to get things better and not always fight every time he's there''. I could even have said ''Should I marry him?'' and I would find an interesting answer anyways, which goes beyong common sense.
Since he hurt my pride /feelings, I would just like to face him and tell him straightly he's this and that. My friends invite him, and I can't ignore him. It seems only me and another girl are annoyed by him, but at the same time ''sad'' because he is actually kinda charming.
But if I can tease him back, or answer him back, I will do it. Nothing more fun tha teasing someone who you normally would just punch in the face.:bows:
 
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Liselle

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(I'd love the idea my friends and I tease him back. I think it's fun to tease someone who normally you would just punch in the face.:bows:)

See, now if you're saying this is partly a "teasing" thing among you, your friends, and him, that is different, at least a little bit.

This is a problem with how we do this, just generally on the internet. It's a very awkward, disjointed way of trying to have a conversation.

I agree with what Trojina said in her post #16. All any of us have to go on when we talk to each other is what the person literally writes. What you told us in your original post sounded pretty darn terrible.

If there is more to it, we can't possibly know. And to some degree you can't possibly tell us, without writing 57 pages. (This is not encouragement to write 57 pages. :eek:uch:)

But I think what we can do, or at least try - and this applies to every one of us, not just you - is to look over our posts from an outsider's point of view, and think about whether it's a good, balanced, accurate summary.
 

CheersC

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See, now if you're saying this is partly a "teasing" thing among you, your friends, and him, that is different, at least a little bit.

This is a problem with how we do this, just generally on the internet. It's a very awkward, disjointed way of trying to have a conversation.

I agree with what Trojina said in her post #16. All any of us have to go on when we talk to each other is what the person literally writes. What you told us in your original post sounded pretty darn terrible.

If there is more to it, we can't possibly know. And to some degree you can't possibly tell us, without writing 57 pages. (This is not encouragement to write 57 pages. :eek:uch:)

But I think what we can do, or at least try - and this applies to every one of us, not just you - is to look over our posts from an outsider's point of view, and think about whether it's a good, balanced, accurate summary.
I edited it so everyone is happy now! But I can't deny a good frendship could also arise from all the continous hate and fighting. Who knows, perhaps he keeps acting selfish and proud because no girl actually ever contradicted him. :p
 

Liselle

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--- crossed posts ---


I want to add that you're right, we could have paid more attention to the reading itself, or tried to. Although I still don't have any ideas of my own about it.

But Trojina also has a good point about that - the situation you described sounded so awful that it makes interpreting the reading extra hard. Yi might be coming from some angle we'd never think of. Or as she said maybe we just don't want to get mixed up in it - we have a right not to read for someone.

Look at it this way - what if someone came on this forum and asked for help with a reading about robbing a house or murdering someone. ACK. If the reading was clearly saying "do not," we'd probably be happy to say so. But if the reading wasn't clear, or even seemed to be encouraging, I doubt many of us would go out on a limb and say, "Well Yi says it's okay, so go ahead!!" So our options would be: (a) ignore the thread, (b) answer with personal opinion, (c) say something like, "Um. I have no idea what Yi's saying, but this isn't something I'm willing to talk about."

We also wouldn't want to say Yi's encouraging crime (even if it seemed that way, superficially) because we could be WRONG. The I Ching isn't an exact science. It's not hard to be wrong.

So, same with yours. It's really hard to say to someone. "Yes! Go right ahead with this person who's terrible to you!" So we mostly didn't.

Rosada and Diamanda came up with ideas that weren't saying that, to which - :bows:
 

Liselle

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But I think what we can do, or at least try - and this applies to every one of us, not just you - is to look over our posts from an outsider's point of view, and think about whether it's a good, balanced, accurate summary.

Should add - this was me piling on in agreement with what other people had already said, and doing it carelessly without crediting the previous comments.
 

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--- crossed posts ---


I want to add that you're right, we could have paid more attention to the reading itself, or tried to. Although I still don't have any ideas of my own about it.

But Trojina also has a good point about that - the situation you described sounded so awful that it makes interpreting the reading extra hard. Yi might be coming from some angle we'd never think of. Or as she said maybe we just don't want to get mixed up in it - we have a right not to read for someone.

Look at it this way - what if someone came on this forum and asked for help with a reading about robbing a house or murdering someone. ACK. If the reading was clearly saying "do not," we'd probably be happy to say so. But if the reading wasn't clear, or even seemed to be encouraging, I doubt many of us would go out on a limb and say, "Well Yi says it's okay, so go ahead!!" So our options would be: (a) ignore the thread, (b) answer with personal opinion, (c) say something like, "Um. I have no idea what Yi's saying, but this isn't something I'm willing to talk about."

We also wouldn't want to say Yi's encouraging crime (even if it seemed that way, superficially) because we could be WRONG. The I Ching isn't an exact science. It's not hard to be wrong.

So, same with yours. It's really hard to say to someone. "Yes! Go right ahead with this person who's terrible to you!" So we mostly didn't.

Rosada and Diamanda came up with ideas that weren't saying that, to which - :bows:
as we said, one of the possible things would be the bed buddies theory... which is already a different view from the ''call the police'' one :O)
 

Liselle

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as we said, one of the possible things would be the bed buddies theory... which is already a different view from the ''call the police'' one :O)

Yes. Hence my :bows: to them.
 
D

diamanda

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Hi Cherry,

The I Ching is not "term-paranoid", however in my experience it's very cheeky with words.

I would also like to add that you wanting to know if he's as mean as he seems to be, is a certain path to constant disappointment. People who consistently behave mean are mean.

Everyone here rightly sounded the alarm bells. I'm afraid I don't see any sex in this answer, and resulting 13 most often means "go out and meet like-minded people". Of course a lot depends on how young one is. Maybe you feel you need to learn hard lessons, maybe you feel you've got tons of time ahead, so you can waste some on such an unpalatable story.
 

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Hi Cherry,First, I'm not part of the gang here, so please don't associate my interpretation with the prior 'conversation'.55 can sometimes refer to being overwhelmed, overloaded, blinded by the light (or charm?) etc. Too much of a good thing, which probably describes your emotions in all this - something the IC is particularly ready to address, and particularly when your emotional motor is revved up. The council in the change lines in general is to find comfort or friends in the shade, though have the disposition of the sun at midday. To me it seems there's more than a bit of cat and mouse play here, and I think you both get off on it, though it's not exactly the kind of game which guarantees a live happily ever after ending, which it seems is not what either of you are looking for. But then, who knows where it might lead?Line 5 is promising, though caution is advised to stay in control of your own space and heart.Line 6 tells of potential loneliness by confinement, but also repeats the idea of not following blindly, either him or your own impulses.13 usually refers to people who are quite different but join together for the greater good of both, like a friendship. Friends with or without benefits, sounds like.Good luck!
 

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