How to approach growing closer to the person I like - 50.2.4.5 to 53

[Northernsun]

The Background: Romance has been difficult for me. Currently approaching my mid-twenties, I have had strong insecurities on my worth in other people's eyes. I always had the idea it was impossible for people to romantically like me just based on who I am, I believed I had to act and do things to make it so. Slowly I have however been realising the way is not through changing myself or acting certain ways, but through allowing who I am to come out: a kind and gentle emotional man. Surprising and in contradiction to what a lot of us men think, this is in fact the kind of man women love to be with as well.


Now I have known someone for half a year. We study together, but I never put much thought into her beyond just being good acquaintances because she had a partner already. Yet, suddenly in the past weeks I noticed a growing connection between us. Eventually I asked her to study together, and so we did and had a very enjoyable time. Although I knew her partner was not a good guy and they had troubles for months already, it still came a bit unexpectedly when she told me she was breaking up with her then partner, and managed to casually mention every now and then how I contrasted to her boyfriend in positive ways. When dinner time came I left, said my goodbyes and kept in touch with her through phone texts. She broke up, and a bit less than a week after that first time we met up again. Like the last time it was really enjoyable, and I made sure she knew I was enjoying it subtly but also by literally telling her. Given that it was only our second one-on-one time, my insecurities and her literally having broken up less than a week before I however didn't communicate directly I like like her. The sad thing is though, that she is leaving for about two weeks to visit her family and emotional me finds that tough. I want to see her, I want to be with her, I want to tell her how much I like her. I genuinely belief (and this is not just the situational butterflies) we work very well together. Both intellectually intelligent, both grounded in certain beliefs (spiritualistic versions of Christianity and for me surprise surprise things like I-Ching). Most important of all, we are simply both so loving. I feel truly safe with her, comfortable, inspired, and I feel she feels it the same way.

And so, given my insecurities and emotional attachment to her I asked the I Ching the following.

The Question: How should I proceed with growing closer to (her name)? (with my goal being becoming romantic partners)

The Answer: 50.2.4.5 to 53

The Personal Interpretation: It seems a generally positive answer. For me in this context, the new beginning of 50 symbolises my personal growth, my blossoming so to say in this romantic part of life. I feel more understanding, I can be myself much better, I feel more confident in being me, being emotional: for the first time in years I allowed myself to cry for having a father with cancer. I have also met someone special, someone who like I said before, I genuinely feel fits me well. Unlike previous women it is truly based on a good honest emotional connection.

53 feels like the thing I partly learned. That I should trust gradual progress. Allow my relationship with her to develop through time. To not be time anxious. Not be afraid I will lose her if I don’t act soon enough. To not give up, the belief in where I am going, and remain determined. I used to often give up very quickly with women, but I notice honest kind persistence and belief in the self works very well. To not give up at the slightest set back.

So all in all I interpret the answer positively, affirming I am on a good path. Still I have a hard time not feeling insecure, not to be distracted, to be okay with waiting, not seeing her, to not fear she will find someone else or doesn’t like me at all in the first place. Fear that I am as I always believed simply not attractive. Therefore: I would be happy to hear and discuss your interpretations . Thanks in advance!

 

[my_key]

Hi Northernsun

The Question: How should I proceed with growing closer to (her name)? (with my goal being becoming romantic partners)

The Answer: 50.2.4.5 to 53

50 meaning 'grasping renewal'
53 meaning 'the marrying woman awaits the man's move'

In Hex 50 you there is opportunity to start again and are given insight into best practice in this situation which is to rectify your position so that in so doing you fulfill the will of Heaven. From the deeper regions of Hex 50 (43) you are being guided to face up to your next challenge. That of showing yourself in a true light to those around you. Being clear and decisive while refraining from falling back into previous negative ways of being. This is the challenge you need to meet in order to fully take responsibility for your transformation.

Your situation is described as holding you in 'Gradual Progress' however this also carries with it a charge to be proactive such that you are not just waiting passively for things to happen.

There is a sense that all your ducks are lining up for you this time however there are a few things that need careful consideration:

50.2 - While you ask 'How should I proceed?' have you considered what your lady-friend might want / need from your relationship? Your inner world needs to be in harmony with hers for the two worlds to marry together fully. Remember, relationship, romantic or otherwise is a two way thing.

50.4 - Consider how trustworthy you are being to yourself. For the new to arrive in this relationship you will have to be prepared to trust the process while at the same time honouring your needs. Do no tip up the pot and spill your needs all over the floor or alternatively cut off your nose to spite your face,

50.5 - If you stay solidly grounded and focussed in the new you rather than the old you then things will go well. Time for you to walk the talk.

.... or it might mean nothing like this at all for you.

Good Luck

 

[Northernsun]

Hi Northernsun

...

Good Luck

Thanks!