I Ching and relationships. Encouragement.

[ataraxis]

Hi

I began using the I Ching more often to get guidance for a love relationship. Most of the readings I got made, and make, a lot of sense. Sometimes I'm somewhat shocked with their accuracy. The I Ching tells me something I didn't know but that makes sense and is so clear. It's just overwhelming.

But, sometimes I have this moments of doubt. I ask myself if the I Ching has been really showing me the correct path. I know decisions are always up to me but sometimes I'm afraid I relied too much on the I Ching.

I need encouragement.
What are your thoughts on the 'power' of I Ching in love relationships?
If you have an example of how a I Ching reading turned out right in a romance issue, can you please share it?

Thanks

 

[meng]

If you have an example of how a I Ching reading turned out right in a romance issue, can you please share it?

Right for how long? IC is a book of seasons. Romance (31) and an enduring relationship (32) don't always share the same flower bed.

How long past romance should one endure?

 

[rodaki]

i think that's a good question ataraxis (love your name btw ) . . sharing some of my thoughts here . .

when i doubt Yi's advice (which I often do I must admit ) i think that i lean too much on it and it makes me wonder if this is the way to relate to Yi and if this is the way to treat myself too . . so that's the first thing that comes into my mind

the next is that -as long as I believe that- Yi speaks, the question becomes: do I want to listen? do i really want to see and/or handle the truth of the matter, accepting that it might not be all rosy . .
for me this is where the stillness of your name comes in so long my mind can be quiet and rooted to the moment, the more I can trust my reasons to be happy or sad, and that seems the most important element in steadying my questions . .

. . and especially when it comes to feelings, we all know they're in a constantly changing state in all of us .. it's only natural that the results are strong when the heart is steady, no?

 

[fkegan]

But, sometimes I have this moments of doubt. I ask myself if the I Ching has been really showing me the correct path. I know decisions are always up to me but sometimes I'm afraid I relied too much on the I Ching.

Hi ataraxis,

I would suggest considering hex 61,3. It isn't the Yi that is unreliable, but the moods of the love sick heart are never constant or ultimately reliable. The Yi is best as objective information like a wise counselor. However, those in love don't usually want to take good advice and even when they get what they felt they wanted they find themselves strangely unsatisfied. Not the Yi's fault or problem...

In my experience, the Yi Oracle offered me better advice than I could appreciate in matters of the heart.

Frank

 

[ataraxis]

Right for how long? IC is a book of seasons. Romance (31) and an enduring relationship (32) don't always share the same flower bed.

How long past romance should one endure?

meng, I don't mean big results like "lived happily ever after" because, as you said, IC is a book of seasons. I ask myself about simple achievements through IC in romance issues. For instance, I wonder if the I-Ching advised to wait for things to come and they really came. I wonder if when it tells you to wait and do nothing a solution eventually appears. Do you think IC is probably right? As we're dealing with emotions...

i think that's a good question ataraxis (love your name btw ) the next is that -as long as I believe that- Yi speaks, the question becomes: do I want to listen? do i really want to see and/or handle the truth of the matter, accepting that it might not be all rosy .

Thanks rodaki! I think I know what you mean. I try to consult I-Ching only when I'm in an 'ataraxis'-like state. But that doesn't always happen. My fear is that I-Ching can give me a foggy view based on my emotions at the time.

It isn't the Yi that is unreliable, but the moods of the love sick heart are never constant or ultimately reliable. The Yi is best as objective information like a wise counselor.
In my experience, the Yi Oracle offered me better advice than I could appreciate in matters of the heart.

That's the type of things I like to hear, Frank.
I think this is basically why I turn to the I-Ching: to have an objective voice speaking about my doubts and concerns because I'm 'mostly thinking with the heart'. My question is if that voice is right most of the times. From what you're saying, it probably is.


By the way, I think I put myself into this state because I went to read my I Ching journal since the beggining of this particular romance issue. Which was a bad idea, obviously. Instead of being confident, I suddenly am in a disturbing state in which I doubt about I Ching's reliability and my choices. I still believe I Ching is a great source of knowledge for the things I cannot see with my own eyes but I need encouragement to keep on believing in its advice for the matters of the heart.

 

[fkegan]

If reading your journal of past Oracles about this one single relationship causes you doubt: You are clearly sailing upon storm tossed seas which only happens when both the relationship is very dear to you AND your heart is interfering with your calm.

Consider hex 12.5 this is an Oracle that represents doubt in the most intense form and at the highest level. Yet it is a most auspicious Oracle. Objectively, the situation is excellent but the fact of its solid positives gives rise to so much subjective tempest.

You ask questions about the romance of such deep and long-lasting importance to you. The best response you can get is something of the likes of 12.5>>35. Yet getting such an Oracle would drive anyone who got it to worry and distraction if it is at all an accurate reflection of the situation.

Or for the bottom line, the question is hardly about the accuracy of the I Ching, it is how do you cope with being so totally fallen into the depths of this romantic relationship? It is your emotions that are unable to be focus and be Ok.

In such situations, the best you can do is change your perspective from that of the land where you expect to see clearly and keep all on the level; to that of the sailor where everything is rolling and buffeted by waves but still quite normal and as expected.

Frank

 

[meng]

meng, I don't mean big results like "lived happily ever after" because, as you said, IC is a book of seasons. I ask myself about simple achievements through IC in romance issues. For instance, I wonder if the I-Ching advised to wait for things to come and they really came. I wonder if when it tells you to wait and do nothing a solution eventually appears. Do you think IC is probably right? As we're dealing with emotions...

I think the IC does an especially good job of counseling short term events, pointing out behavioral patterns and their effects, as it relates to the time.

On the broader scope, the Yi also teaches enduring lessons, i.e.

"However, true greatness is not impaired by temptations. He who remains in touch with the time that's dawning, and with its demands, is prudent enough to avoid all pitfalls, and remains blameless." WB 1.3

"Therefore it's necessary constantly to remain mindful of the end. If we permit ourselves to drift along, we come together and are parted again as the day may determine. If on the other hand a man fixes his mind on an end that endures, he will succeed in avoiding the reefs that confront the closer relationships of people." WB 54

I believe the Yi is loaded with good relationship advice that's frequently interpreted incorrectly, leading to all kinds of unintended complications and some out-and-out relational disasters.

I personally do not find the Yi very useful for anything involving long term planning (and believe me, I've had the time with it to experiment quite a lot), but that the focus is directed to a proper mental and emotional adjustment now. If that's accomplished, the future literally takes care of itself, in a way that you can look back on without remorse. Of course that doesn't imply that any of us are competent to do that continuously, but at least Yi gives reliable guidelines to follow, should we choose to.

Looking back with no remorse seems to play a large role in Yi's long range priorities. I think it's something which becomes more appreciated with age, because we realize what idiots we've been at times. Some may justify it away, preferring to blame everyone else; other more earnest individuals recognize their many errors, large and small, and feel remorse inside. If Yi has long term objectives or potentials, I think this is where they lie.

 

[ataraxis]

If reading your journal of past Oracles about this one single relationship causes you doubt: You are clearly sailing upon storm tossed seas which only happens when both the relationship is very dear to you AND your heart is interfering with your calm.

You're absolutely right. My heart is interfering with my calm.

The best response you can get is something of the likes of 12.5>>35. Yet getting such an Oracle would drive anyone who got it to worry and distraction if it is at all an accurate reflection of the situation.

12.5 is in my journal at least 2 times but I can't remember if I have the 12.5>35 pair. That's such an optimistic and happy view But you're right, one can get really anxious because of promising readings...

It is your emotions that are unable to be focus and be Ok.
In such situations, the best you can do is change your perspective from that of the land where you expect to see clearly and keep all on the level; to that of the sailor where everything is rolling and buffeted by waves but still quite normal and as expected.

Oh, just loved what you said Thank you so much for your kind and wise words. I want so desperately that everything goes okay when I should be like a sailor in the sea.

 

[ataraxis]

"However, true greatness is not impaired by temptations. He who remains in touch with the time that's dawning, and with its demands, is prudent enough to avoid all pitfalls, and remains blameless." WB 1.3

"Therefore it's necessary constantly to remain mindful of the end. If we permit ourselves to drift along, we come together and are parted again as the day may determine. If on the other hand a man fixes his mind on an end that endures, he will succeed in avoiding the reefs that confront the closer relationships of people." WB 54

Excellent, thank you

I believe the Yi is loaded with good relationship advice that's frequently interpreted incorrectly, leading to all kinds of unintended complications and some out-and-out relational disasters.

I personally do not find the Yi very useful for anything involving long term planning (...)

I'm a newbie with I-Ching but I always had that idea in my mind: it doesn't work well for long term planning.

the focus is directed to a proper mental and emotional adjustment now. If that's accomplished, the future literally takes care of itself, in a way that you can look back on without remorse. Of course that doesn't imply that any of us are competent to do that continuously, but at least Yi gives reliable guidelines to follow, should we choose to.

Oh! Thank you very, very much for your words They surely gave me a new view and encouragement.

Cheers

 

[fkegan]

Oh, just loved what you said Thank you so much for your kind and wise words. I want so desperately that everything goes okay when I should be like a sailor in the sea.

Glad to be of help.
Wanting anything desperately is a hassle. Learning to be Captain of your own Soul or ship is a long process and time is the one thing that is difficult to control or rush.

Frank

 

[almas2010]

Hello everyone, i am a member since this morning.
i saw an IChing reader last Thursday, it was the 1st time i used his services.
One of my question was to determine if my boyfriend and I would get back together, we had broken up 2 weeks before, but he was still contacting me.
The Iching Reader told me without any doubt: YES, he will come back within one month's time.
On saturday, i saw my ex boyfriend and things did not go well.
i wanted to know if his initial prediction was a final one, or if any event within this one month period could change the reading?
meaning..if he saw that he was coming back in one month..should i wait until then?
your help would be much appreciated. Thank you

 

[fkegan]

I notice that you also posted this same message in Exploring Divination as well as in private message to me and I know not how many others. I also notice you did not include what the I Ching Oracle was that caused your reader to give that advice. Did you have a formal reading with a hexagram Oracle or just the advice of the reader or fortune teller?

Without an actual Oracle, I would have no idea how to advise you.

I can however note in general that whether you and your boyfriend get back together is more determined by the two of you that the magic powers of the I Ching or its readers.

Your conduct on this forum would lead me to believe it is more your upset and attitude that is interfering with your relationship from your end. I have no idea what your boyfriend's problems might be or his issues on returning to the relationship, but he would be a better person to ask about it than me certainly.

Try talking to the boy and see how that works out for you.

Good Luck,

Frank (Kegan)

 

[joty]

Hi Ataraxsis,
I can tell you one experience of mine. There was a men I saw. It was the same evening when I asked Yi about what will happen between us (we were not even introduced to each other). I received 37 (family) with the changing line, I don`t really remember, but it was saying that the woman is stronger than a man. We really became a family and lived together for 5 years. I have plenty of experiences when Yi gave me more than helpful advices. Sometimes I was not able to act accordingly . My opinion is that Yi never mistakes, except if we keep asking, not being prepared to accept the outcome which is not compatible to our wishes. : (
Namaste!
my inward God says Hi to your inward God
Joty

 

[ataraxis]

We really became a family and lived together for 5 years. I have plenty of experiences when Yi gave me more than helpful advices.
My opinion is that Yi never mistakes, except if we keep asking, not being prepared to accept the outcome which is not compatible to our wishes. : (

Dear Joty,

That was really nice to read (especially now...with the things that happened to me)



my inward God says Thank you to your inward God
Be well.