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Iching what is your opinion about my ex? 30.5 30.6> 49

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springflower

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As you can see from the title of my thread I was thinking to ask iching about its opinion about my ex fiance.
The answer I got is 30.5 30.6 > 49
I have taken a lot of times the line 30.5 lately. I think it shows that he makes me suffer. Line 30.6 is differentiation between the defective (or dangerous) and the useful. Eradication of the harm. He is harmful for me. 49 Revolution. On your own day you are believed. Supreme success, furthering through perseverance. Remorse disappears - Change is believed in on the day it is completed. It is very successful, beneficial if correct. Regret vanishes. - Reform indicates that revolution will become credible when the time is ripe. In this way, it is great and pervasive and advantageous to be persevering. Regret will disappear.

Is any hope that he will change?
49 shows a radical change but for whom?
 

Trojina

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Line 30.6 is differentiation between the defective (or dangerous) and the useful. Eradication of the harm.

That sounds like you are quoting someone ? Who is it ?

Change is believed in on the day it is completed. It is very successful, beneficial if correct. Regret vanishes. - Reform indicates that revolution will become credible when the time is ripe. In this way, it is great and pervasive and advantageous to be persevering. Regret will disappear.

Who are you quoting ? It is a little confusing if you put someone else's words in the middle of your paragraph.

What does your fiancée himself say ? What he says is the very best source of understanding of whether he is likely to change or not. Has he told you it is finally over or has he said this is a break ? There have been many threads about him but I don't think I've ever seen what he himself actually says about the situation ? I think I recall he said he needed time away but has he said this is finally over or not ? Well I guess you are calling him your ex so it must be over.

30.5 is allowing yourself to mourn. 30.6 indicates dealing with the main issue in something. For your own sanity, and dignity, I think you should behave as if it is over. If in 3 months time he comes back then you can reconsider with a fresh perspective but for now it's probably healthier for you to experience your sadness rather than expect him to change his mind.
 
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springflower

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We have no communication at all.
Our last contact before 3 weeks was just friendly.
 
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springflower

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30.5 is allowing yourself to mourn. 30.6 indicates dealing with the main issue in something. For your own sanity, and dignity, I think you should behave as if it is over. If in 3 months time he comes back then you can reconsider with a fresh perspective but for now it's probably healthier for you to experience your sadness rather than expect him to change his mind.

Trojina I didn't notice your last paragraph.
Well, as I have said yes he told me a lot of time ago that our separation is just a break, I tried to force things but I couldn't change anything. Suffering was the only result for me. I decided to give time and space for me and for him. I saw that nothing was happenig by pushing him. Our last communication was before 3 weeks. I don't know how he feels and what is happening in his life. It seems to be an impasse.

If in 3 months time he comes back then you can reconsider with a fresh perspective but for now it's probably healthier for you to experience your sadness rather than expect him to change his mind.

Why did you mention 3 months time? Is there any indication of time in my answer?
This is what I do, I experience my sadness and I have no hopes. It is better for me.

I asked how our separation is going to develop and I received hex 8 uc. It's weird as I don't expect anything. but I think the answer is like an advice " what belongs to you will come to you "

Trojina, I would like to thank you for your patience and help to me. :hug:
 

Trojina

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Thank you Springflower :hug: have a hug I'm sure you need one.


Well, as I have said yes he told me a lot of time ago that our separation is just a break, I tried to force things but I couldn't change anything. Suffering was the only result for me. I decided to give time and space for me and for him. I saw that nothing was happenig by pushing him. Our last communication was before 3 weeks. I don't know how he feels and what is happening in his life. It seems to be an impasse.

Then he needs to be very clear with you now. It is not good to leave things hanging. Sometimes people say they want a 'break' in a relationship because it seems kinder, they cannot bring themselves to say it's over and also they sometimes simply want to keep their options open. It is okay for someone to say they want a break for a week or so but eventually they really must tell the other person what they want as the other person cannot be expected just to hang on. If you were less involved I think you'd say to yourself 'ah well if he cannot be bothered to call me then I'm moving on'....but this is someone you were together with for 7 years right ? You can't let it go so easy without a decent explanation. I believe he owes you this out of respect.

I wonder if 30.6 might suggest you now come to grips with this and move things on by telling him you now need a firm decision from him because you need to get on with your life and it is cruel to keep you just hanging on for him to make his mind up.



. Why did you mention 3 months time? Is there any indication of time in my answer?

No I don't read time in answers. I just picked 3 months at random. Also if he is having a fling with another woman the novelty usually wears off after 3 months. But ask yourself this: If he is having a relationship with another woman and then tires of her and wants to come back to you in 3 months are you just going to accept him back ? If you do you give him the idea he can do what he wants and you will take him back. Not good. That is why I think perhaps now you need to let him know even if he hasn't made a decision you have decided you need a clear choice from him now in order to get on with your life.
I'm thinking a possible ultimatum which 30.6 may suggest.




I asked how our separation is going to develop and I received hex 8 uc. It's weird as I don't expect anything. but I think the answer is like an advice " what belongs to you will come to you
"

Yes, although I don't want to raise false hopes for you. But I really do think now he needs to be very clear if he doesn't want to come back to you. If he assumes you will wait patiently forever then he may treat you badly. And the thing is you are suffering a great deal with this and for that reason I think you yourself need to make some decisions about how you want to be treated.
 
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springflower

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Yes, we were together 7 years. The pain inside me is unbearable so why I decided to move on. He will always be in my heart but I am exhausted. I don't want to contact him. If he really wants me he will find the way to me.

Anyway, I was curious so I asked if I should contact him: 44.2 44.5>56 Avoid the temptation. Wait..No a good idea I think.
Does he want another woman? 60.1>29 Also, no.
Is there another woman? 41.1 41.4>64 I don't think so.
will he have sexual intercourse with another woman? 23.3>52 No.
Will he contact me? 48.2 48.6>53 Yes?
 
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springflower

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PS. I have warned him 3 times that if there will be another woman he will kill every hope to be together again.
 
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Springflower,
Like Trojina says, why don't you talk to him directly. You deserve a clear explanation and statement of how he views your relationship, whether it's just a break, or a break-up.
If you were to marry him, you'd need to be able to communicate clearly. So , now is a trial, whether you can, indeed, communicate about important matters.
It's not a good idea to ask the iching for answers instead of asking the person himself. The iching is meant to give you choices and to advise you, -- not to offer secret information , like a spy on somebody's private life. Be careful, -- if you misuse the iching, more negativity can result. Good luck with it.
 

Trojina

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Yes, we were together 7 years. The pain inside me is unbearable so why I decided to move on. He will always be in my heart but I am exhausted. I don't want to contact him. If he really wants me he will find the way to me.

Anyway, I was curious so I asked if I should contact him: 44.2 44.5>56 Avoid the temptation. Wait..No a good idea I think.
Does he want another woman? 60.1>29 Also, no.
Is there another woman? 41.1 41.4>64 I don't think so.
will he have sexual intercourse with another woman? 23.3>52 No.
Will he contact me? 48.2 48.6>53 Yes?

It takes some time to recover following a break up like this, like recovery from illness, so don't be hard on yourself if you can't just 'get over it'. But how well a person 'gets over it' does have a fair amount to do with the manner of the break up. Although it will always be more painful for the one who didn't instigate it of course, only more pain can result from being 'strung along' not knowing for sure. Although him not communicating speaks volumes as I said earlier he now needs to offer some clarity to you about where you stand. The answers don't especially look like he has someone else but I wouldn't want to pronounce that as a fact. Will he contact you ? I don't know, you have asked this very question so often now and of course even if you hadn't no one could really say for sure given he has free will and can change his mind when he wants to. And if he does contact you it might not be to reconnect.

Should you contact him now ? Well you do need some kind of closure. Not considered the reading because there's just been too many for me. You are in a lot of pain so your priority must be on how to take care of yourself now. This is really very sad. What do your friends or family advise you ? Who else have you been able to talk to about all this ?
 
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springflower

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Dear Trojina and loverofknowledge, thank you for your support. I have no words.

Really, I don't want to communicate with him it's better for me at the moment. Actually, I don't want to contact him anyway. It's like an illness indeed. If you know that something is harmful and poisonous, will you touch it? Of course not.
It's simple. If he wanted me in his life he would say it but he didn't. It's pointless. I received the answer 7.3>46 a couple of days ago and this is what I feel. Something died and I have just to move on. I don't need any explanations. If he belongs to me he will come to me. I have asked IChing so many times that some times I think Mr. IChing wants to punch me. I asked 1 week ago Is there any hope for relationship with my ex fiance? 42.4 42.5>21 It's vain.. I am so confused and disappointed. I need time just for myself.
 
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springflower

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UPDATE

It's like a shock but he contacted me to check if I am alright. Nothing more at the moment.
 

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