I'm brand new, I have insight and would like help too

[candid]

Isis - Ok, this is reaching a little bit, but since we're exploring numbers in dreams correlating with hexagram numbers:

Concerning your elevator dream - "I thought it was floor 4, but I actually think the floor was 3.5." In Ching speak, 4 is Youthful Folly (Wilhelm) and 3 with change in the 5th place (3.5) means, Difficulty In Blessing. Could it be that you think that you are being foolish or should second guess yourself (4), but actually are beset with initial difficulty and confusion(3.5)? According to Wilhelm, "It is only through faithful and conscientious work, unobtrusively carried on, that the situation gradually clears up and the hindrance disappears." This again is characteristic of 62, attention to the details involved. 3.5 could also imply not being understood completely, or having your intentions misconstrued by someone.

I must also point out the possibility that you may be misconstruing your husband's actions with this other woman. Not saying this is true, only that's its a possibility I must present to you. You are the one involved in this, not Val, Mick or myself. You have to be brutally honest with yourself in this.

Take care,
Candid

 

[candid]

Isis - I'm wondering what his story is on all this. To council one of a couple can be dangerous without knowing both sides of the story. Has he by chance expressed any sense of oppression in all of this? Has his judgment seemed clouded in other areas while this was going on? Has he seemed restless in other areas? Or possibly confused? If so, its possible this flirtation may have been prompted by his own state of inner uncertainty and frustration.

I don't mean to waffle on you here, but a marriage is serious business to interpret. I've stated here before that part of interpreting for someone includes having the courage to be wrong. Being wrong is only disastrous when the interpreter is obstinate about being in the right. In this case, I'm still uncertain. I don't know both sides of the story.

Any further light you can shed?

BTW, I'm working today and will be away from my computer. If you don't receive a quick response to your posts today, that's why. I'll check when I return home.

Hang in there.
Candid

 

[jeanetteisis]

You guys are great. I really do appreciate this. Mick, I think you could have the Bruce Springstein thing pinned. That sounds like where I am at. Yet, my dad wanted to follow him. My dad who had an affair about 15 years ago but returned home. I hope that is not me wishing but an actual prophecy relating to my husband. Sigh.

I would like to add more tomorrow. More reflections, more dreams. Hopefully those following will see something in their own dreams. On another website, they said that all you have to do is ask yourself for guidance through your dreams. Of course individual results may vary!

Thank you so much,
Jeanette

 

[heylise]

3,5 is a very important number. It has to do with the wholeness of your soul. I have seen it in Jung, and I will try to find it back.
In Plato's Timaios he says: one, two, three, Timaios, but where is the fouth? This is the same one as the 3.5, if I am right.
It is about finding the shadow.
LiSe

 

[jeanetteisis]

Hi all,

LiSe, I didn't quite get what you were saying but it seems you are going to come back to that.

Candid, yes, I have questioned if I am just stupid for believing this can be fixed, or that I have been fooling myself with all of the dreams and synchronisity. I find that there are incidences from childhood that speak to the situation now. It all seems to tie together and it all appear to support this marriage coming back together. But if what not? Then I will feel foolish and that I don't understand and that scares me perhaps more than losing Rick.

I read my book and it seems very clear on what I have been feeling, the self-doubt, 3,5 says "darkness distorts your light. Avoid attempting to force a completion. Go slowly, methodically, and with quiet balance."

Last night I dreamt about the numbers either 9500 or 95000 and 75000. I was at someone's house as if staying there and was listening to the daughter talk on the phone about how much one fake breast would cost, and then was saying "can you believe he is going to give me all of that 75,000 (as if a salary)" They seemed poor or down on their luck. I was having a problem because I think I had a diaper on or maybe just underwear and there was poop in it and I needed privacy in the bathroom, but one of them the sink was overflowing with water and had two gloves floating in it made out of very light guaze so that when wet and picked up you couldn't even see the shape. It seems that I picked up a white one and a black one. Perhaps it was also supposed to function as the toilet, but the drain wasn't big enough for me to take care of my problem. I remember the mom was on the phone with someone standing by her and said something like "is Gail with (I don't remember who, maybe a child).

I have so many dreams that I could discuss. Sewage has been a central theme for me throughout my marriage. Except it was always like in some public restroom or facility, never on me or in my house. And it was always on the floor or stopped up in the toilet and on the floor and it was always a feeling of being careful stepping in it. It feels like this is the sewage, these marriage problems. Interestingly, when we were in Venice getting married, there was a little cafe where I used the restroom and the toilet was just a bowl on the floor with a drain. It raised above the floor about an inch. Try hovering over that. So that is how we even started, with that weird toilet. Hmmm...

I have another name that is haunting me. I am realizing that some things were implanted in my childhood. Things that are vivid now or whatever. I will write later and tell you about what I called our pantry.

Thanks again,
Jeanette

 

[candid]

Jeanette - Seems like your dream was saying, how do I get out of this mess? White and black gloves - I must decide. On one hand there is ___, but on the other hand there is ___. The gloves appear unusable and you were still unable to clean up the mess. The one fake breast - you feel inadequate as a woman. Not unusual for a woman who suspects her mate of having another (more attractive?) girlfriend. The 75,000 (or so) seemed like a salary or possibly a settlement. Might that express your financial concerns if you were to proceed with a divorce? They were poor and down on their luck. I'd say the overall theme of the dream was humiliation.

Candid

 

[heylise]

I tried to find where I had seen 3,5, but Jung wrote such big books, it was an impossible search.

Three has to do with idea and will, so I think 3,5 is the stage between the one-sidedness of consciousness, with its intentions and goals, and the whole-ness when one can assimilate the shadow.

If I find something, I will mail it.

LiSe

 

[jeanetteisis]

Well, I didn't look at that dream that way, Candid, but I can see that. By the way Mick, I find it interesting that Bruce Springsteen was in my dream and I wouldn't have been able to use your useful interpretation unless I already knew you were going to give it to me. Mind-boggling.

About this other woman, when my ego raises up I say that she is a shadow of a woman compared to me. She is mousy-cute but that is about it. I had wondered what I was trying to tell myself with the fake breast thing since I am about a C cup and she's lucky if she is an A. Regardless of that, I really don't know what my husband is thinking therefore I would like to believe that he is going through some sort of crisis since I can't even imagine how those two work.

But yes it is humiliating, especially since she is a "nothing." I see the money clue, do you think they were also changing lines, I looked and they seemed to line up with everything else I heard. Perhaps I was looking for other interpretation of those lines.

Here is something interesting. The originator of this site is Hilary. A couple of days ago I walked by the TV and I had the Animal Planet channel on. Some woman said, "I guess I met Hilary through the horses." I have a number significance that keeps popping up and at one point the Breeder's Cup or one of those races was going on here in Chicago and the horse for that number's name was significant to me. I thought it was all one big long synchronisity. Now Hilary. Hmmmm.

Thanks again,
Jeanette

 

[suzy]

Hi, Jeanette. I've just returned to the forum after an absence, and have been reading up on some of the new threads, including yours. First of all, welcome to clarity! These are wonderful people here, as you are discovering. A few other comments and thoughts:

I, too, have the Brian Browne Walker version. It's my second favorite "interpretive" version (not translation) of the I Ching, after Sarah Dening's. You may have already figured this out, but the actual I Ching is a very old, very obscure, cryptic, and surprisingly brief set of texts. Only fearless types like Lise try to read the original Chinese! When you buy the I Ching in English, you're either going to get a translation (i.e., Wilhelm), or an "interpretive" version like Walker's. My personal opinion is that when you're just starting out, a straight translation is too obscure. I spent my first year with the I Ching reading just a translation, and I had absolutely no clue what was going on. Flying geese, yellow belts, who knew? Walker does a nice job of explaining what it MEANS. Dening is even better. Later, once you're more familiar with the I Ching, you will want to get as close to the original text as you can (at least that's what seems to happen with most people). You won't want anybody between you and the hexagram.

If your bookstore has it, I would also recommend the Richard Gill version. That is actually my all time favorite version of the I Ching. It's sort of a loose translation -- no wordier than Wilhelm, but more accessible.

Enough about books. Jeanette, I deeply sympathize with your situation. I've been there, as have so many women at some point in our lives. It is almost impossible to stop thinking about what he is doing, why he is with her, whether he might come back, etc. etc. etc. etc. The brain buzzes and aches. Alas, what you need to do is exactly what hex 36 recommended (and I'm quoting from Walker): "Step aside, yield, let go, allow people and events to pass without attachment. Direct your attention inside, to YOUR inner light, YOUR devotion to what is right, YOUR conversation with the Higher Power."

The I Ching is the best friend you could possibly have right now. It is speaking directly to you. I would suggest you read and re-read Walker's text on hexagram 36 -- and then read it again. It's not about him, or HER, or whether he'll come back, or any of that. It's about you. Calm down and travel inside yourself. Have a conversation with the I ching. Ask it, "how can I turn my attention inward? how can I accept this darkening of the light?" Study the answer, then pose another question. Then another, and another. Read the answers carefully, hear what they are saying. Let yourself be drawn into the healing dialogue. If you want to, ask "how can I win him back?" Or "will he come back?" Ask it that a million times if you feel like it. It will not hurt to pose these questions -- it will relieve your nervous anxiety, and the I Ching will gently but surely guide you back to the state of mind you need to be in.

No matter what happens, you will survive. I promise. If your husband decides to come back, and you can rebuild your marriage, great. If not, great too. I mean that. No woman (or man for that matter) ever believes it while it's happening, but you'll be fine. The day will come when you realize how much better your life turned out without him -- yes! It's true! The pain you're feeling now will just be a memory. The trick is just to hang on and take care of yourself until that future day arrives. I remember, when I was going through what you're going through, saying to my father, "I wish I could speed up time. I know that time heals all wounds, and someday, SOMEday, I will not hurt like this. I just want that day to come." Well, it did -- and sooner than I expected.

One other thing: I also have sewage dreams! I have a recurring nightmare about having to use a public toilet that is all stopped up and won't flush! Ick!

Best wishes,

Suzy