In a Bind Hex 39

[em ching]

Hello,

Long time no posting! Mainly due to being on quite an even keel recently - emotionally perhaps - and also perhaps through my confidence in understanding the lines. But this problem seems to be getting bigger...

I have been living and working as a teacher in Asia since May. I'm having a great time here, but outside the classroom. The kids are very bratty here - wasn't expecting it! And though I have some good days with them, I really hate doing it. I'm also doing freelance work - so am up very early working on the computer, go to school (feel out of my element and abused by some of the kids... though I know they're just kids, their lack of respect is horrible and the other teachers don't seem to care - it's more of a business than a school so they want to keep the kids happy!) then come home and do more freelance work (of which I think I have taken on too much this month). On top of this, my friend who got me the job here, and who hates it too, has decided to leave in a couple of months without handing in her notice. So I will be left with the chaos of having to pretend I didn't know and perhaps taking a couple of her (horrible) classes. I was thinking of leaving myself, but I've now met someone here who I really don't want to leave (it really feels like the best relationship I've ever been in, etc.) and last week, for example, teaching was ok. So it's up and down, but more down than up... and I'm scared the slope is slippery. I feel wholly unsuited to teaching. I also want to save money for a course I'm going to start next year. I did think I'd start it this year because it's slightly cheaper, but then there are really good things about being here, gaining the experience, and I don't feel mentally ready for the course if I'm honest... But I know I will always only just be surviving. And I'm no good at being strict so I'm not sure if it's just going to get harder to manage the kids. I guess having faith in the innate goodness of others is sometimes naive, especially when it comes to children.

Basically I'm full of dread, stress and don't know if my decisions, which are rather big ones, are right. (Staying would mean deferring uni till next year, and being in a job I hate for, if I'm honest, love, in the main... But then that is what we live for...?) And on top of that, there's a bit of contention now between my friend and I, seeing as she'll be leaving me in a bit of a mess etc, but then she's had a hard time at said school (worse than me) and I understand her reasoning (they can be very difficult about letting you go/and demand money from you even if you hand in your notice)

I asked,

Should I hand in my notice? So I can leave as soon as possible after my friend, but not be forced to leave the country for breaking the contract? So then I could stay with the boy, and work freelance... and search for some here too... but then of course, things may not continue going so well between us... I don't want to become dependent at this stage, despite having joked about me doing this before...

10.1,4,6 > 39

I then asked,

Or should I keep going, as things are now, but How? (ie just survive all the inevitable difficulties and possible regrets of staying...?)

12.3,4,6 > 39

Not surprised to see 39 there twice...

Eek it's all so horrible. I can't even bring myself to try and see what the answers are saying I'm so stressed and tired, and feel a bit hopeless (not to mention having work to do). But of course I know that, it could be that will I have better teaching days again, to make me feel it isn't all just going to blow up in my face...

I would Really appreciate some help interpreting these answers.

:bows:

 

[em ching]

OK as I see it, hex 39 is about not being able to tackle things head on. At the moment my road is not a straightforward or happy one (my working life). I need to find a better route? Or wait for another route to reveal itself? or pause in front of the obstacle: grin and bear it?

My options are pretty narrow, I think. Or maybe I'm lacking imagination and courage...

 

[steve]

Hi there
yes you really seem to be stuck between a rock & a hard place not a nice situation
10.1 i see as try if you can to enjoy the simple things in life and dont try & progress until you are sure about what you want to do.
But then 10.4 is advising to press forward to avoid an upleasant situation then 10.6 is excellent and you can look back and say I am glad that is over.
Maybe the yi is shouting 39 you are blocked , I think 10.4 is the key here the line to really look at and even 10.1 is saying you are not obligated to stay
I think if you are really unhappy life is too short to waste if you can get out of a situation you are trully unhappy in.
I think that is what the lines are advising although I havent looked into the second reading but at a glance it doest look as good as the first option.
Only really you know what to do I hope I am on track here and have helped.

Maybe someone else may disagree with me just thought I would try to help as it does sound a crappy situation.

All the best
Steve

 

[em ching]

Hi Steve,

Thanks for your help. I guess a solution or way out will reveal itself, but for now all I can do is roll with it I think. And if the teaching etc improves, then I may not find my friend leaving so difficult to deal with. There will just be a period between them finding a new teacher where I may have to take on more classes, and of course they will be angry, which I guess I can survive. Everything else here is great. I just dread the weekdays somewhat, although my lessons/the kids ain't all bad

Perhaps it will become more glaringly obvious that this particular job is halting my progress and that there is an easier road for me here, but for now, all I can do is carry on.

Thanks again

:bows:

 

[steve]

Yes you must currently be still in 10.1 maybe 10.4 will reveal itself. Let me know if something does

Steve

 

[em ching]

I will.
Teaching was fine today - well 4 out of 5 classes. I guess I could look at it as a challenge - or try and make that rev me up rather than want to give up...
But I know I don't enjoy it and would rather be doing something else if possible.
I have just applied for an editing job - in which I have experience - But, the school needs 2 months notice, and the job I've applied for starts in Sept. I could take a chance, and hand in my notice in the hopes that I got the job. And if I didn't search for freelance and live with the guy. But the feasibility of that sort of plan has not revealed itself yet.
Namely whether that move would be good for a new relationship, and whether it'd be a smart move financially. Although it would be great to get to see him everyday (at the mo it's just the weekends) and have more free time to pursue what feels natural. But it would also be wiser to have my own place - and the editing job is much nearer to where he lives. I may try to call up the job I've applied for, perhaps to guage my chances.

I asked the I Ching today about whether I should take a chance and hand in my notice:

21. 1, 4, 6 > 2

Which I took to mean I'm currently feeling imprisoned and not applying punishment where I should (firmly setting boundaries for the kids) and that it's something I need to bite through. But these things take time. Plus I did put myself in this situation, knowing I probably wouldn't excell or love teaching... And hex 2... I guess follow the signs as they arise... and have faith that I will be led out of this current danger. Either through improvement in My performance as teacher (and thus the studnents' performance) or I'll realise I do have the option to leave and pursue a more suitable line of work, while also being allowed to reside in this country.

Thanks for your interest. I'll let you know what comes up.

:bows:

 

[hopex]

hi not sure on the lines but it took me back reading it -- i was bullied in
my first teaching job - i should have got out, another girl did

i am just naff at applying for jobs but even removing myself from a toxic
situation would have been a self loving thing to do - good luck steves commentary

sounds so sound!!

 

[Trojina]

Hello,

Long time no posting! Mainly due to being on quite an even keel recently - emotionally perhaps - and also perhaps through my confidence in understanding the lines. But this problem seems to be getting bigger...

I have been living and working as a teacher in Asia since May. I'm having a great time here, but outside the classroom. The kids are very bratty here - wasn't expecting it! And though I have some good days with them, I really hate doing it. I'm also doing freelance work - so am up very early working on the computer, go to school (feel out of my element and abused by some of the kids... though I know they're just kids, their lack of respect is horrible and the other teachers don't seem to care - it's more of a business than a school so they want to keep the kids happy!) then come home and do more freelance work (of which I think I have taken on too much this month). On top of this, my friend who got me the job here, and who hates it too, has decided to leave in a couple of months without handing in her notice. So I will be left with the chaos of having to pretend I didn't know and perhaps taking a couple of her (horrible) classes. I was thinking of leaving myself, but I've now met someone here who I really don't want to leave (it really feels like the best relationship I've ever been in, etc.) and last week, for example, teaching was ok. So it's up and down, but more down than up... and I'm scared the slope is slippery. I feel wholly unsuited to teaching. I also want to save money for a course I'm going to start next year. I did think I'd start it this year because it's slightly cheaper, but then there are really good things about being here, gaining the experience, and I don't feel mentally ready for the course if I'm honest... But I know I will always only just be surviving. And I'm no good at being strict so I'm not sure if it's just going to get harder to manage the kids. I guess having faith in the innate goodness of others is sometimes naive, especially when it comes to children.

Basically I'm full of dread, stress and don't know if my decisions, which are rather big ones, are right. (Staying would mean deferring uni till next year, and being in a job I hate for, if I'm honest, love, in the main... But then that is what we live for...?) And on top of that, there's a bit of contention now between my friend and I, seeing as she'll be leaving me in a bit of a mess etc, but then she's had a hard time at said school (worse than me) and I understand her reasoning (they can be very difficult about letting you go/and demand money from you even if you hand in your notice)

I asked,

Should I hand in my notice? So I can leave as soon as possible after my friend, but not be forced to leave the country for breaking the contract? So then I could stay with the boy, and work freelance... and search for some here too... but then of course, things may not continue going so well between us... I don't want to become dependent at this stage, despite having joked about me doing this before...

10.1,4,6 > 39
I then asked,

Or should I keep going, as things are now, but How? (ie just survive all the inevitable difficulties and possible regrets of staying...?)

12.3,4,6 > 39

Not surprised to see 39 there twice...

Eek it's all so horrible. I can't even bring myself to try and see what the answers are saying I'm so stressed and tired, and feel a bit hopeless (not to mention having work to do). But of course I know that, it could be that will I have better teaching days again, to make me feel it isn't all just going to blow up in my face...

I would Really appreciate some help interpreting these answers.

:bows:

Hang on this isn't a new situation, you've been through similar dilemmas many times as you've shared here in other threads. I don't mean the actual details of the situation I mean the dilemma of 'do I stay or do i go'. Same dilemma with the house share, same dilemma in China...its always coming back to a central dilemma of staying or going and it always appears as a massive decision to you



So I would take the 10.6 quite literally. You have the answer to all these questions already. All it requires is you to think what you did before in similar situations when you were faced with this repeated dilemma. Think of how those dilemmas played out. What you wish you had done and hadn't done. I think you need to 're trace steps' thats what 10.6 shows.


All the difficulties and limping are contained within the steps you take. Lines 1 and 6 move, you are going in full circle, experiencing the dilemma in its entirety perhaps whereas before you experienced the dilemma in more fragmented way here its all wrapped up in one with the love interest thrown in to boot !

I think you will make your own mind up here...and it will relate to what you've done before in previous similar situations

You may not see the similarity, from a distance I can. To me it appears you are in the same head space you were in in China and in the flatshare back in UK. Maybe the problem isn't the choice you feel you have to make but the necessity you have to keep on facing yourself with anguishing choices ?


I'm not meaning to be flippant but can't give any more insight a} becasue i can't stay on computer b} because I think you will do as you will do...you see it as another horrible terrible nasty complex mess......but you've had these before...look back and also look back to how you got where you are now (10.6)

 

[Trojina]

oh :bows: BTW you have my admiration in so bravely facing all these crises in far flung places. I didn't want to psychologise the issues you face away as if they they aren't real....but I have faith in you and I think you are wise and I think even your mistakes will be noble ones...so i almost feel i don't want to interfere with your process by telling you what i think is best for you here....I don't actually know anyway. Also the fact you got 39 both times points to you dealing with something whichever turn you take

 

[steve]

Nice Trojan I have never looked at how hex 10 could be like vicious cirlce I suppose it really could be if you dont make the right choices & break the cycle,,interesting

Steve

 

[Trojina]

Nice Trojan I have never looked at how hex 10 could be like vicious cirlce I suppose it really could be if you dont make the right choices & break the cycle,,interesting

Steve

Hey I never said it was a vicious circle...just a circle man

It could be quite a cool circle

 

[steve]

haha yea i know what you meant
I meant vicious circle as in the saying. Just thought it was interesting that it could be a circle I always looked at the hex as a path but a path can go around and around cant it??

Which could very annoying


Steve

 

[Trojina]

Heh I get ya. I think this way of communicating makes us hear things quite differently to if we were in actual conversation. 'vicious circle' is just a phrase when you say it but when I read it the 'vicious' stands out.....

...i swear emailing and message boarding is lethal for communication problems

 

[em ching]

Trojan and Steve. Thanks so much for your advice all that time ago I'm sorry I didn't reply sooner! And I'm still unable to now. (Silly busy still.) But will give a full update as soon as possible!! (All I'll say now is hex 43...)

TTFN

:bows:

 

[em ching]

Hi there
yes you really seem to be stuck between a rock & a hard place not a nice situation
10.1 i see as try if you can to enjoy the simple things in life and dont try & progress until you are sure about what you want to do.
But then 10.4 is advising to press forward to avoid an upleasant situation then 10.6 is excellent and you can look back and say I am glad that is over.
Maybe the yi is shouting 39 you are blocked , I think 10.4 is the key here the line to really look at and even 10.1 is saying you are not obligated to stay
I think if you are really unhappy life is too short to waste if you can get out of a situation you are trully unhappy in.
I think that is what the lines are advising although I havent looked into the second reading but at a glance it doest look as good as the first option.
Only really you know what to do I hope I am on track here and have helped.

Maybe someone else may disagree with me just thought I would try to help as it does sound a crappy situation.

All the best
Steve

Hi Steve!

Well it's been almost 3 months and I'm finally out! I decided to hand in my notice last month and they found a replacement quite quickly. I write this from my boyfriend's flat I was planning on getting a place of my own (a super cheap, super tiny room on a floor with shared bathroom and toilet - an idea he wasn't too keen on) but didn't get time to view places so I've just moved in with him. It is still an option though if things go wrong. I do feel a little like I've just invaded his space, but, as he's assured me he doesn't mind and would have said if it was out of the question!...

I am now in the process of applying for editing work, and also part-time teaching (think I could survive a couple of hours a week!) so that I'm at least earning still... I definitely think it was the right thing to do. I was at the end of my tether teaching last week and losing my temper, but not in a good and controlled teacher way, more in a stressed way. Not good! I feel relaxed now. The only thing that rather worries is how the boyf and I will get on. We've only been together since June! But it'll be an experience. I asked about the outlook and twice received 16.6! So I guess we'll start to see the reality of each other, no illusions, no more mystery (?) but that's how long-term relationships naturally progress (35) - bad habits come into the light! Along with incompatibilities perhaps, but also good things... (as hex 35 is a positive hex eh?) I just hope we can communicate about things when we realise we don't see eye to eye on some things, perhaps boring and domestic, or if little things annoy, or he starts to feel resentful that he has to go off to work while I can lounge around his bed/flat!... Well whatever, this is where I am now and I feel like tao has brought me here, and so far so good...

Thanks Steve. I think I skirted the tiger/obstacle!

:bows:

 

[em ching]

Hang on this isn't a new situation, you've been through similar dilemmas many times as you've shared here in other threads. I don't mean the actual details of the situation I mean the dilemma of 'do I stay or do i go'. Same dilemma with the house share, same dilemma in China...its always coming back to a central dilemma of staying or going and it always appears as a massive decision to you

So I would take the 10.6 quite literally. You have the answer to all these questions already. All it requires is you to think what you did before in similar situations when you were faced with this repeated dilemma. Think of how those dilemmas played out. What you wish you had done and hadn't done. I think you need to 're trace steps' thats what 10.6 shows.

All the difficulties and limping are contained within the steps you take. Lines 1 and 6 move, you are going in full circle, experiencing the dilemma in its entirety perhaps whereas before you experienced the dilemma in more fragmented way here its all wrapped up in one with the love interest thrown in to boot !

I think you will make your own mind up here...and it will relate to what you've done before in previous similar situations

You may not see the similarity, from a distance I can. To me it appears you are in the same head space you were in in China and in the flatshare back in UK. Maybe the problem isn't the choice you feel you have to make but the necessity you have to keep on facing yourself with anguishing choices ?

I'm not meaning to be flippant but can't give any more insight a} becasue i can't stay on computer b} because I think you will do as you will do...you see it as another horrible terrible nasty complex mess......but you've had these before...look back and also look back to how you got where you are now (10.6)

Hi Trojan!

Thanks. In a sense, probably a big one, I see that you're right. And this time I've recognised what's good for me, what I am and am not capable of, accepted it, and taken action accordingly. It would have been great if I could have made a success of teaching. Mainly for the money I could have saved, and also the free apartment I could have kept, but I was becoming ill with stress, as I did in past situations. Looking back there have been benefits to my staying through those inappropriate situations, in terms of what I learnt and in the second scenario the friends I made, but I think too much trauma (as I've perceived some of the situations) has a debilitating effect on character! I feel I'm old enough now to give what I know I can do and want to do and enjoying doing a chance!

Also I do get on really well with the boy, although I can't say I'm not scared of how things will go now that we're going to be together every day (well every evening and weekend!). Any thoughts on 16.6>35 here? But it will be a good test of how long-term this relationship can/will be. A couple of months ago even, we started making plans about what we would do and where we would go (together) when his contract ends in February so this will be perhaps a good test of that future possibility! Meeting him has definitely changed my fate. I would be home right now doing a Masters had I not met him... And I'm sure he'd be making different plans too if it weren't for me (he doesn't much like teaching either). He's also from the US so that's going to make things a little trickier too.. But guess what, on our first date he mentioned having read the I Ching! He's never cast though.... don't know if that's cos in the past he's felt silly doing so. Have suggested we do it together/I show him how I do but that might feel weird...

Anyway, thanks so much for your observations there. Sorry my response has taken so long but when teaching I was literally working from morn till night, then away every weekend so I literally didn't have a chance!

Hope all is well with you back home (I really miss cheese!!)

Em