Interesting Irony for 22 Unchanging

[samoyedgrrl]

I asked the IC today, "What role will Rodney play in my life during the next four months?" and received a 22 unchanging. I trolled the old threads and found this one from Val a few years ago:

I do have something to add. I don't believe the Yi is advising you to transcend or anything else. I think the Yi is simply telling you what is in their usual nonjudgemental fashion. 22 is the story of a poor man courting a woman to become his bride.

I only have Freeman Crouch's book with me today, and I find his interpretation of 22.0 especially fitting to your situation. Actually, it's rather uncanny how well it fits.

A poor bridegroom goes to his wedding. He is to marry into a well-to-do family. His gifts are scanty, and there is a moment of distress. But it is favorable to go the bride's home country...

You enter an alliance as the weaker party, but potentially this is an auspicious arrangement. For you and those who rely on you this may work out well, but be prepared to move.

Bring your enthusiasm and character and heart to the alliance you are considering. But be careful what colors you fly when you arrive.

This take on 22 made me take notice, as shortly after our first date, Rodney lost his job and is currently in crisis mode (trying to find a job and stressed over finances). The "story of a poor man courting a woman to become his bride" line really makes sense in this context. Could that "moment of distress" be now, after he has lost his job? Very interesting take on this, indeed....

 

[ginnie]

I've gotten hex 22 unchanging with regard to a number of people who are charming and familiar with the arts. I don't think the money part is the significant part of this relationship; that is, his lack of resources. I think he'll be a refining influence. He'll make you feel more aware of beauty and harmony.

Since he's the man and you're the woman, isn't the metaphor of courting reversed? Wasn't it the bride who was supposed to be all decked out in her finery .. and be accompanied on horseback to the bridegroom's family seat?

However, I know that men can feel embarrassed when they have little to bring ... and few resources.

All the meanings can be true at the same time ...

 

[samoyedgrrl]

I agree, Ginnie! Thanks for your take on things here. I really appreciate it! From what I've seen of Rodney, he is much more traditional in his approach to relationships (and women). I do believe that the job loss and financial stress is affecting him in a very deep way. He made a comment about not knowing how he was going to support himself, let alone anyone else at this time. I found that very enlightening in regards to his personality and how he views gender roles in relationships.

You are so correct that he will heighten my awareness in regards to beauty and harmony. I can already see how the conversations we've had and the simple things we've shared so far have brought me joy. It isn't the large scale overtures that have traditionally made me happy. Usually those expensive things have left me feeling empty afterwards and I did not feel a deepening connection with the man I've been with.

I agree that finances are not the most important facet of this relationship. It is the connection with each other and how we enrich each other's life that means so much more. I've recently come up with a theory about why women make bad choices in relationships. Wanna hear it?

There are basically three things that turn a woman's head about a man during courtship: 1) prestigious career, 2) good looks and 3) perceived financial wealth. The problem is, none of those things really matter in the long run. I've worked with a lot of divorced women who have said things like, "He was married to his job, I was really his mistress," "The good looks didn't last long once I saw how much of a jerk he was" and "No amount of money would keep me trapped in a miserable marriage".

Take those three things (job, looks and finances) and set them aside when looking at a potential suitor. What's left? Not much? I call those guys "All wrapper, no substance".

It's the "what's left" that is more important in determining a potential partner. He can always get a better job which will lead to better finances....he can get a good haircut and a shave - but just how good looking is his character? That's one thing that's near impossible to change, IMHO.

That's what I'm using as a way to determine a good partner for me. That's why I really hope things with Rodney will work out. We have a lot in common, he makes me laugh, I find him interesting, intelligent, witty, tender hearted and I love who I am when I'm with him (I am myself, with no pretense). I'll continue to cross my fingers and hope things will work themselves out for us to be together...

 

[patro]

hey,
for R.L.Wing the meaning of 22 unchanging in few words... is that our point of view is completely biased.
like we have sunglasses with pink glasses... we see all sweet and romantic/optimistic.
but what happen if we take away the glasses............

 

[ginnie]

It will be a lighthearted relationship, Samoyedmom.

In hex 22 there is the mountain and there is a brilliant source of illumination. The illumination is not so far-reaching. Can the illumination be long-lasting? Or will it be more like a movie, or series of movies, lights flickering on the silver screen --

I would say: Enjoy your perfect moments together. Maybe life doesn't get any better than this, in terms of tenderheartedness and feelings of perfect companionship. I think what Patro posted, just above, is a caution you must keep in your heart, because I wouldn't want your heart to be too disappointed in the future by this man. We all have built-in limitations, you know.

Best wishes and to you and please keep us posted on what happens, Samoyedmom.

 

[samoyedgrrl]

Thanks, Patro and Ginnie for your interpretations. I appreciate it! I think I'll definitely heed Patro's warning, but look forward to enjoying the illumination this relationship hopefully will bring to my life. I realize that neither of us will be the "perfect person" and we do have our limitations. I guess that's why we should always look at relationships to enhance our lives and not define us. They can only do so much. However, I am encouraged by your interpretation, Ginnie. Thanks again for sharing that with me.

 

[tigerintheboat]

On the Surface

I asked the IC today, "What role will Rodney play in my life during the next four months?" and received a 22 unchanging. I trolled the old threads and found this one from Val a few years ago:

A poor bridegroom goes to his wedding. He is to marry into a well-to-do family. His gifts are scanty, and there is a moment of distress. But it is favorable to go the bride's home country...

You enter an alliance as the weaker party, but potentially this is an auspicious arrangement. For you and those who rely on you this may work out well, but be prepared to move.

Bring your enthusiasm and character and heart to the alliance you are considering. But be careful what colors you fly when you arrive.

This story really doesn't sound like H22 with no moving lines...or at least I have never seen an interpretation like that. It sounds a little like H22.5, where the clothes are of the poorest quality.

If I asked about someone and got H22 unchanged, I would expect them to be charming and graceful, but without much substance. It is like new clothes and good manners, they are charming and delightful, but they are only on the surface.

Tiger

 

[samoyedgrrl]

Hmm, Tigerintheboat. Here's where I found that interpretation:

http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?t=2242

Could it be saying in light of my question regarding his role in my life for the remainder of the year that he won't be a major part of it? Perhaps we'll date and talk, but he won't be an integral part of my life for the time being.

That could also make sense, given his current focus is on finding a job and with the holiday season that will be approaching in a couple of months, I could see a romantic relationship not being on the top of his list of things to focus on with so many other things to deal with. Thanks for your input - I really appreciate your insight!

 

[tigerintheboat]

Freeman Crouch

Hmm, Tigerintheboat. Here's where I found that interpretation:

http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?t=2242

Could it be saying in light of my question regarding his role in my life for the remainder of the year that he won't be a major part of it? Perhaps we'll date and talk, but he won't be an integral part of my life for the time being.

That could also make sense, given his current focus is on finding a job and with the holiday season that will be approaching in a couple of months, I could see a romantic relationship not being on the top of his list of things to focus on with so many other things to deal with. Thanks for your input - I really appreciate your insight!

I just found this book on Amazon, I had never heard of it. Its publication date is 2010, so there must have been an earlier edition.

Mr. Crouch's take on H22 is to see H22 and its lines using the wedding metaphor. His commentaries assume each line is some aspect of the wedding. (Pardon if I am overstating as I just quickly looked at it on Amazon, not the same as studying it). My only source for what Chinese words mean is Bradford's "Yijing, Word for Word" and I don't see anything in that to justify the leap to the wedding for the overall translation. The basic message of H22 is "Adornment, Success, small advantage can be derived from having a goal" (or "advantage can be derived from having a small goal). But nothing big can be expected.

Thus my flash interpretation; enjoy the relationship, take what you can from it, don't expect anything big.

Still, allow your intuition full reign, with regard to whether an interpretation makes sense. Just know that seeing H22 as a wedding is a fairly non-standard interpretation.

Oh, Hilary reviewed the earlier edition back in 2007 in a blog post, I think, and was somewhat favorably impressed... Here is the link to her post:

The Chameleon Book

Tiger

 

[samoyedgrrl]

Thanks, Tigerintheboat! I'm going to have to check out that book and Hilary's review. It was the first time I had seen hexagram 22 given a wedding imagery. Thought that was a very interesting take on things, given the circumstances Rodney has been experiencing lately.

Regardless, though, I'm not going to put serious expectations on things with him. Really, none of us should do that to any relationship - that could be detrimental. Things should be allowed to flow and happen naturally, and that's just what I'm gonna do here.

 

[ginnie]

Could it be saying in light of my question regarding his role in my life for the remainder of the year that he won't be a major part of it? Perhaps we'll date and talk, but he won't be an integral part of my life for the time being.

I agree with that interpretation.

 

[knotxx]

for what it's worth, Stephen Karcher also translates 22 as "Adorning/Bringing Home the Bride" and says that the hexagram as a whole describes a wedding procession.

I like what Hilary says about this hexagram, that it's about finding a way to express your real essence. That's what art does -- I mean whatever form it takes is meant to express a real truth. And that's what you do when you're dating or courting -- all that fussing over what to wear for dates etc is really an attempt to say "see underneath my flawed exterior to what I really am; see what I am inside." It can look like vanity or posing but I think when we do that we're really trying to make a picture of our true vulnerable beautiful interior selves.

Of course all that adorning and show which is perfect for courtship is tricky longer term or in larger matters. If there is a crisis you want your lover to stop combing his hair and show his true character. And at some point (line 6) you need to cast it all aside and and show your plain, true face. And if that doesn't happen: trouble. But I don't think this hexagram goes straight to Trouble, the way some people read it. 22 has its lovely place in our lives.

 

[samoyedgrrl]

Thanks for your take on it, knot! Since we've encountered a crisis and I see who he is deep down inside (and he has seen who I am as well), this hexagram is very appropriate. I looked up what Tony Crisp had to say about the hexagram, and I especially like his take on line 5: "Despite appearance not being at its best, no harm comes. It is not appearance but what you are that counts in being accepted. Good fortune follows."

Very true indeed. Rodney joked that in all relationships, the first 90 days is full of the "putting your best foot forward" or as we refer to it in the IC as "adornment". As this crisis came about, we had a very frank discussion where we shared things with one another that normally would not be discussed this early on in the courtship. Perhaps we have busted through line 5 and that first stage of superficiality? I dunno, but only time will tell.

 

[oceangirl]

What happened?

 

[samoyedgrrl]

Wow, that was seven years ago. I moved to the city where he lived, and in an odd twist of fate, got a place directly underneath his condo. We talked a little, but nothing ever happened between us. He was a very odd, reclusive fella who never seemed to have any girlfriends. I think he liked the internet courtship perspective, as he could use older photos of himself with more hair and less body fat (the 22?) and simply talk on the phone or text. It was the connecting in person that I think he has difficulty with. I saw him on several occasions sneaking a peek out the windows at me in the pool in my bikini the next summer. I think he was interested, but just couldn't get beyond himself to make that happen.