...life can be translucent

Menu

Is he going to return?

Water_Lily

visitor
Joined
Sep 5, 2018
Messages
24
Reaction score
5
Last year I had a breakup that was quite painful, from a man I loved a lot. Things started well between us, but the circumstances were bad (he had many problems in his life) and other people intervened negatively by lies and manipulations and he got influenced I think. He eventually had to move back to his home country and now I will also leave to a different one.
We have had no contact so far, for a little over a year. I am mostly over him, but still have some feelings left. I feel things are unfinished and that we should talk. Sometimes I think in therms of -what if- and wonder if he would ever want to reconcile, although I am not sure at this point that I would want to do that.
I asked I-Ching if he is going to return to me, and the answer was 12.6 > 45.

Line 6
'Overturning the block.
Before, blocked. Afterwards, rejoicing.'


Any insight would be appreciated.
 
Last edited:

Fortuny1889

visitor
Joined
Oct 29, 2016
Messages
100
Reaction score
51
Last year I had a breakup that was quite painful, from a man I loved a lot. Things started well between us, but the circumstances were bad (he had many problems in his life) and other people intervened negatively by lies and manipulations and he got influenced I think. He eventually had to move back to his home country and now I will also leave to a different one.
We have had no contact so far, for a little over a year. I am mostly over him, but still have some feelings left. I feel things are unfinished and that we should talk. Sometimes I think in therms of -what if- and wonder if he would ever want to reconcile, although I am not sure at this point that I would want to do that.
I asked I-Ching if he is going to return to me, and the answer was 12.6 > 45.
I am having a bit of a hard time interpreting that. Any insight would be appreciated.

The answer is really very clear and literal.

"Bad people are not favorable to the perseverance of the noble".

You asked if he will come back to you.
What if you were the one to break the ice?
I am always to be ourselves to move the levers of our life.

The bad people of the sentence can be those that have intervened between you, but they can also be negative thoughts that prevent you from reversing the stagnation, as you advise the sixth line.
Try to contact him, ask for clarification. It might work and if it doesn't, you'll know he doesn't believe in you but believes in bad people. But so you have at least removed yourself from the impasse and will have no regrets. Because of this the reading speaks: a lack of communication that must be overcome. If he returns he will see you. Meanwhile, you do your part with joy in your heart, 45 seems good to me!

a warm hug,
F.
 

Water_Lily

visitor
Joined
Sep 5, 2018
Messages
24
Reaction score
5
"Bad people are not favorable to the perseverance of the noble".

Thank you for the quick reply, I appreciate that! :) . 45 sounds positive to me as well. May I ask from where is this quote? When I asked I-Ching from the site, I got this line:

Line 6
'Overturning the block.
Before, blocked. Afterwards, rejoicing.'


(12.6)
 

Fortuny1889

visitor
Joined
Oct 29, 2016
Messages
100
Reaction score
51
Thank you for the quick reply, I appreciate that! :) . 45 sounds positive to me as well. May I ask from where is this quote? When I asked I-Ching from the site, I got this line:

Line 6
'Overturning the block.
Before, blocked. Afterwards, rejoicing.'


(12.6)

I quoted the sentence from Wilhelm's text. You find it if you also search on google, it is the most widespread.
 

foxx777

visitor
Joined
Apr 22, 2012
Messages
704
Reaction score
122
Last year I had a breakup that was quite painful, from a man I loved a lot. Things started well between us, but the circumstances were bad (he had many problems in his life) and other people intervened negatively by lies and manipulations and he got influenced I think. He eventually had to move back to his home country and now I will also leave to a different one.
We have had no contact so far, for a little over a year. I am mostly over him, but still have some feelings left. I feel things are unfinished and that we should talk. Sometimes I think in therms of -what if- and wonder if he would ever want to reconcile, although I am not sure at this point that I would want to do that.
I asked I-Ching if he is going to return to me, and the answer was 12.6 > 45.

Line 6
'Overturning the block.
Before, blocked. Afterwards, rejoicing.'


Any insight would be appreciated.
I take line 6 as a sign that the two of you have the potential for reconciliation. Hexagram 12 is Obstruction, but line 6 says that the obstruction is ending:

Legge: The sixth line, dynamic, shows the overthrow and removal of the condition of distress and obstruction. Before this there was that condition. Hereafter there will be joy.
 

rosada

Supporter
Clarity Supporter
Joined
Jun 3, 2006
Messages
8,992
Reaction score
2,083
Just wanting to add my two cents. I totally agree it would be good for you to reach out to your friend, otherwise you could go your whole life wondering if things might have been different. I'd just be careful to make your note something very light that doesn't require a long answer. Like, "Thinking of you and hoping life is treating you well." If he wants to be in touch that would be enough. If not, no big deal and especially if he has a new girlfriend who reads his email this will not cause him problems!
 

Water_Lily

visitor
Joined
Sep 5, 2018
Messages
24
Reaction score
5
Just wanting to add my two cents. I totally agree it would be good for you to reach out to your friend, otherwise you could go your whole life wondering if things might have been different. I'd just be careful to make your note something very light that doesn't require a long answer. Like, "Thinking of you and hoping life is treating you well." If he wants to be in touch that would be enough. If not, no big deal and especially if he has a new girlfriend who reads his email this will not cause him problems!

Life has not been treating him too well since he left and we broke up. He tried to venture in another field and things did not really work out and also he tried moving on with another woman, but again, it did not work out. And the funny thing is that while he was supposedly interested in her, he would post on social media a specific song he always dedicated to me when we were together, and another one, repeatedly, about a guy trying to be with a new woman, but having never really forgotten the one before, how she must be probably in the arms of a new man, and how he cannot stand that.
Of course, I do not want to read into things, and I kept away, especially since I saw he was interested in someone else at the time. But now it is not the case anymore.

Before he left, I told him about some of the things (albeit not the worst) one person said. But he did not seem to have any reaction (did not reply). I do not know what is their status now. She was a close friend, and it made me feel powerless, since they knew each other for years, and what I said did not seem to influence things.

I asked I Ching last year, how this friend of his (also friend of his mom) felt about me. I do not remember the hexagram, but the lines seemed to say that I was a stranger in a new city where I was not liked. Actually both her and my ex lived in a different city than me at the time and I would travel there, to the new town, to hang out, since it was a bigger town.

This is what the Wilhelm translation seems to say about 12.6:


Nine at the top means:

The standstill comes to an end.
First standstill, then good fortune.

The standstill does not last forever. However, it does not cease of its own accord; the right man is needed to end it. This is the difference between a state of peace and a state of stagnation. Continuous effort is necessary to maintain peace: left to itself it would change into stagnation and disintegration. The time of disintegration, however, does not change back automatically to a condition of peace and prosperity; effort must be put forth in order to end it. This shows the creative attitude that man must take if the world is to be put in order.


I was a bit confused by this, since like I said, in the past I tried to communicate to him, but without success, as for some reason, he did not seem to be influenced in any way about what I said. I thought about maybe giving it one more try, in the future, but I am really unsure about this, since I failed in the past.
 

Fortuny1889

visitor
Joined
Oct 29, 2016
Messages
100
Reaction score
51
Water_Lily,
to reopen communication with someone it is more necessary to talk about one's feelings. At least in the beginning. Then there may be time for clarification on misunderstandings and interference.

I think that a good white communication strategy can be useful to you: bring what you have good, your love and your sincerity. Open the gap and then see.
If instead you bring the old arguments that have separated you, rebuild the walls, reinforce the cognitive defenses that led to doubts and distrust.
The heart has no doubts. It is there that you must arrive with the sixth line leading to 45.

Rosada gave you great advice, IMO.

Don't wait too long, the synchronic moments highlighted by Yi are the allies of our actions.

good luck!
F.
 

Water_Lily

visitor
Joined
Sep 5, 2018
Messages
24
Reaction score
5
I asked the I Ching to clarify 12.6, as in if I should take action or if I should wait(for him to take action), and I got: 49.1.4>39

My initial plan was for me to do that as a last resort, in the future after I stabilize my life a bit more, in the new place.
 
Last edited:

Fortuny1889

visitor
Joined
Oct 29, 2016
Messages
100
Reaction score
51
I see 39 as your reference situation: an obstacle that blocks your progress. The 39 is a situation where
the obstacle we have in front of us cannot be circumvented: it is a real obstacle (for example social contexts, distance, real difficulties not misunderstandings) and must be crossed in order to be able to solve it.
Yi is giving you the solution to do it: 49, an intimate and personal revolution in your case, a change of perspective. line 1 speaks of being wrapped in a yellow cowhide. The cow is compliant and here it seems that you are protecting yourself in this capacity. Yi says it's okay until your day comes, the day you will be believed.
This day seems to be there: line 4 is very explicit in stating this idea. It's time to talk, it's believed.

This is what the oracle says, it's up to you to understand if you are on the day of your belief, or if you are still maturing in the skin of the compliant cow. But take into account one thing: all 49 has the meaning of the shedding of old skin, like the snakes that come out renewed and leave the skin that is now tight.

How are you in your skin? this is the answer you need to find and IMO is about you. Not him.

A warm hug,
F.
 
D

diamanda

Guest
if he is going to return to me, and the answer was 12.6 > 45
Line 12.6 is about there's too much of a bad thing, and this cannot continue. Someone needs to act in this situation, and once that's done then things will get much better. Resulting 45 shows a large gathering of many people. You say it's been a year and he hasn't done a thing, while you remain stuck (12) in this. In my opinion, make a move, tell him how you feel, ask him about reconciliation. If he loves you too, he will rejoice in this. If he doesn't love you, he will give you a hundred excuses - then you'll know he doesn't love you and you'll be able to move on and live your life.

if I should take action or if I should wait(for him to take action), and I got: 49.1.4 > 39
He's with someone else and feels ok where he is. Once you take action, something will radically change in the whole situation. This whole situation is very flawed.

Your readings don't sound super great regarding him I'm afraid. However, I believe you have the responsibility of furthering your own life and well-being. I'd say make a move, turn the tables (49.4) - you have nothing to lose, and everything to gain. Even if he says 'no thanks', you'll have your freedom to find happiness with someone else.
 

Fortuny1889

visitor
Joined
Oct 29, 2016
Messages
100
Reaction score
51
if I should take action or if I should wait(for him to take action), and I got: 49.1.4 > 39
He's with someone else and feels ok where he is. Once you take action, something will radically change in the whole situation. This whole situation is very flawed.

Diamanda, how do you see there is someone else?
 
D

diamanda

Guest
In 49 the two trigrams are two females fighting each other. 49 and 54 are two of the top indicators there's someone else.
 

Fortuny1889

visitor
Joined
Oct 29, 2016
Messages
100
Reaction score
51
In 49 the two trigrams are two females fighting each other. 49 and 54 are two of the top indicators there's someone else.


And 38? in 38 the two sisters are opposite but not fighting, despites that this is a very dynamic exhagram Right?

thanks Diamanda!!
 
D

diamanda

Guest
38 is separation, as you say two sisters but each looking elseshere, they don't see eye to eye. Or two people are separating, as each has different goals.
 

Fortuny1889

visitor
Joined
Oct 29, 2016
Messages
100
Reaction score
51
38 is separation, as you say two sisters but each looking elseshere, they don't see eye to eye. Or two people are separating, as each has different goals.
It make me think about a recent divination about my marriage....
 

Water_Lily

visitor
Joined
Sep 5, 2018
Messages
24
Reaction score
5
Thank you so much everyone for your answers and for your advice! I am still considering a decision, and it is not so easy, since some of the answers here have been somewhat contradictory. Pretty much everyone agreed I should take action, but whether things between be and him will have a positive outcome, this is where the answers differed a bit. Also, I personally feel a bit reluctant to take action and prefer he did, and it is because of how things ended, as in me not being successful last year (he did not seem to have a reaction when I told him about some of the negative things a person said ).
So, I asked Yi the following: ''For some reason, I feel that things are not over between us. If I do not look for him (as in waiting for his initiative, perhaps), how will things evolve between us?''. The answer was:

8.2.5>7

What do you make of this? Thank you!
 

Water_Lily

visitor
Joined
Sep 5, 2018
Messages
24
Reaction score
5
@Fortuny1889 , @marybluesky
When I wrote this, I promised myself I will update this.
I finally contacted him. He said he was glad to hear from me, that it was a nice surprise and he never expected it. I told him I had some things to get off my chest and he said he has too. So we are in touch now and in talking terms, we talked casually at the moment and we will get to the serious conversation soon.
 
Last edited:

Water_Lily

visitor
Joined
Sep 5, 2018
Messages
24
Reaction score
5
Water_Lily,
to reopen communication with someone it is more necessary to talk about one's feelings. At least in the beginning. Then there may be time for clarification on misunderstandings and interference.

I think that a good white communication strategy can be useful to you: bring what you have good, your love and your sincerity. Open the gap and then see.
If instead you bring the old arguments that have separated you, rebuild the walls, reinforce the cognitive defenses that led to doubts and distrust.
The heart has no doubts. It is there that you must arrive with the sixth line leading to 45.

Rosada gave you great advice, IMO.

Don't wait too long, the synchronic moments highlighted by Yi are the allies of our actions.

good luck!
F.

Well, apparently I waited too long until I had the courage to write. I had a long conversation today, I told him what was on my mind about the people I thought messed and intervened. Well, one person to be more precise. He listened and said she was crazy and not to take her seriously and she speaks without thinking and that was that. But they are still friends on FB.

I told him I had loved him a lot. He said he had too. And I said I was confused because when were together he was always giving me mixed signals and saying he did not love me, but I would see love in his eyes. He said he had big problems in his life and was very confused and at the time when we were together he did not realize he loved me, but then later, after he left the country he realized he did.

That he had thought of the good times between us and how we had a good relationship. And he realized he actually had loved me. But he decided that since things ended bad to leave me alone. He said that had his issues resolved and had he managed to return back to my country, he would have wanted us to be together again. Or that if we had met a year earlier when he had more time in my country for sure we had been together.
I said that he was probably over me now and he admitted that yes. But that he would want to see me again some day. And I said I did not believe it will happen because we would have to have feelings for each other and he is over me. And that we are far. He said that you never know. And who knows what can happen?
I told him I was still not over him and he said I have to try and get over him because we are too far from each other.
So I said now what and if we could be friends on social media again and he said sure. He said sure, we can talk but I don't know if it will happen or not. He broke his word in the past.

Now I am angry, because I am thinking he could have just looked for me, not let the love die, he could have fought to remain in my country.
I am sad, hurt and frustrated at him.

I would feel ok even with the hope of a future, if he looked for me to talk. But I don't know what and if it will happen.
 

Water_Lily

visitor
Joined
Sep 5, 2018
Messages
24
Reaction score
5
I know we are not supposed to ask questions like this, but I asked Yi a few questions:
How did our conversation affect him? 39.4.5>62
 
Last edited:
D

diamanda

Guest
So he did give you a hundred lame excuses. If this, and if that, and he clearly told you he's over the whole thing now. You're wasting your precious time on this guy Water_Lily... I don't know what you're expecting, the more you engage with this guy the more you'll continue to lose.

How did our conversation affect him? 39.4.5>62
He went back to his partner. He'll probably re-contact you if he's ever in a dire need.
 

Water_Lily

visitor
Joined
Sep 5, 2018
Messages
24
Reaction score
5
So he did give you a hundred lame excuses. If this, and if that, and he clearly told you he's over the whole thing now. You're wasting your precious time on this guy Water_Lily... I don't know what you're expecting, the more you engage with this guy the more you'll continue to lose.

How did our conversation affect him? 39.4.5>62
He went back to his partner. He'll probably re-contact you if he's ever in a dire need.

He does not have a partner. He seemed interested in a new girl, but started recently, maybe a month before I contacted him (Jan). She is in the same country but at a distance.
 
Last edited:

Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom

Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).

Top