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Is it a good idea to continue ? (Relationship Clarity)

ShaktiAsks

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My ex and I have been dating on and off for about a yet and 9 months. I think we break up because I'm more emotionally attached than he is. Never really exactly sure how he feels about me because his words and actions vary at times. So I did a reading asking what he wants from me. I got hexagram 23. I have no knowledge of this hexagram besides I think it means he doesn't want much ? Idk . I then aske what my exes true feeling were towards me and I got 59 I have knowledge tht this hexagram is negative . What I got is tht he is wanting nothing more from me at this poor that he wants to move on. Which is understandable because I constantly break up with him . It's only because he just doesn't do anything for the relationship for us to progress he still insults me and has something negative to say about anything and berthing I say or do. So I'm guessing tht hexagram means that he is finished with me ? I have no idea. So to get more clarity I asked the I Ching what my person or how my person should treat him. I got 29 going into 2. I understand that hexagram two is basically saying that I should just leave it alone that danger will only come of it though hexagram 29 is a fairly positive reading. So idk if this reading is meaning that I should try it out first and then break it off or what. So why I'm asking is if I interpreted these readings correctly or if there is more questions I may need to ask ? I mean our relationship never gets any closure ! When we break up he alwayysssss ends up coming back to me asking for me to take him back tht he didn't understand why I broke up with him that I broke up with him for dumb reasons ect ect. He'll go mess around with girls for a while not talk to me then he talk to me ou tif the blue after he's done wanting to get back together-__- I just don't understand what I should do . I love him very much but when being with him I always end up being upset and annoyed and sad an confused. He says I love you and all that but only I I say it . Or if he's sorry . There is nothing but double standards an I'm jut idk I k ow he's a great guy it's just he says something happened to him junior year that he can't seem to show his true self to me he says he tells me what he can because he can't express feelings excuse of junior year. Though he wants me to be totally open when he's not I'm just hmmm idk . He seems like he cares HELP !
 

mezzamare

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Hiya,

Really quickly, my two (relatively new) cents:

23: Splitting Apart. Could mean just that--he wants to split with you--or could mean that he wants to "shake the tree" so to speak and get rid of all of the deadweight... the baggage from the past that is bogging him (and your relationship) down.

59: Dissolution. This hex isn't negative as much as it is about change--very drastic and major change. It could be that his feelings for you are disorienting to him, in the context of what happened to him, or it could be that he wishes he could wipe the slate clean with you and start again. Or, more literally, it could mean that his feelings are evaporating. (Not super helpful, I know, but you'd have to consider these possibilities against what his actions are telling you.)

Lastly, 29: Repeating Chasms. This is interesting in light of how you follow this with mentions of how you keep breaking up with him, then getting back together. This hex is about travelling through dark and insecure places. I wonder if everytime you break up with him, you are exacerbating his fears and insecurities? Dragging him through a dark place that is somehow tied to his experiences? It may behoove you to fall back into the mode of Hex 2, and be more patient and receptive to how the relationship plays out, at its own pace. My guess is that the constant on/off nature of the relationship (which you seem to be creating) is hard for him to deal with, and is actually causing him to create more emotional distance from you... which seems to be the exact opposite of what you say you want.

Just some thoughts. Good luck.
 

long yi

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Hexagram 29 is a six strike hexagram. Line 1/4, 2/5, 3/6 are in conflict with each other. For relationship analysis, the relationship does not work.

Hexagram 23: the relationship has run its course.

Hexagram 59 dissolution; matter dissolved.

The key to the above: disharmony, time to say Good bye.
 

ShaktiAsks

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Thanks so much

Thanks so much !! I figured that's what it meant. I can honestly say I don't blame him for distancing himself. Though I feel like the bad guy , though he says I'm not . He seriously never was emotionally attached at all but when we or I decide to just leave he always returns. It's very confusing but I see the big picture now. So I'm just going to let it go. I've been wanting to for a while because its draining trying to please him , I've been patient but he never is that way with me contradictions. I talked to him about it and he told me that he doesn't know or whatever tht I stopped talking to him when thts not the case he stopped talking to me. Lol Oh well moving on I guess .
 

kash

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Just a thought

In general, I find that my readings work better when I ask them about myself and things I have control over than when trying to use it to figure out what other people think. I am not at all sure it doesn't throw the question back at you anyway and talks about your own state of mind anyway, in this case - quite negative states of mind in 2 out of 3 hexagrams (23 and 29). So a better question would be something like "how should I act towards X?" or "How do I make the most out of situation Y?"

I know some people here use it quite happily to ask about other people's perspective, but for me the personal way has always worked better and that's how I'd been taught to use it by the man who originally introduced me to it.

Hope that helps.
 

poised

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ShaktiAsks, your situation is familiar to me. I went thru a rough patch with my significant other, "fired" him a few times, and threw 23 and 59 and other apparently discouraging hexagrams about the relationship.

It was very distressing. So I did nothing much and the relationship dragged on, and then it got much better. Thing is, men and women really are very different. What women consider indifference, men might interpret as feeling secure in the relationship.

So rather than creating more drama, I suggest that you create distance, avoid confrontations, and think about other things for awhile. Your guy might consider those things very affirming. Or maybe not.

At the end of the day, I realized that the little demons in my mind were creating most of the problems.:duh: If I remained calm, I felt better. And when I felt better, I didn't care so very much about the real or imagined "violations" he committed against the relationship. Women are from Venus, Men from Mars. Just different.

Advice someone else gave you to consider the hexagrams about yourself is very good.
 

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