Is this correct? and Yi's answer, 56.4 to 52.

[obiobi]

Hi everybody. I want to say thank you for your support. I found this web site really interesting and helpfull.

I asked to Yi how could I manage the anger I feel for my sister. I know that it sounds awfull and it is. She is 13 Years older than me.. And we did not really have a relationship, she has just ignoring me all this Years. I feel she does not like me at all...but I admin that I am not good with people but I thought that she could in some way help me or simply be with me for who I am. We cutted all the contact one year ago and I am not sure that I want to have her in my Life anymore.

I feel terribly alone.. But what scares me the most are those bad feelings...and the awerness that I won t see my nephews grow.

The situation is really bad and however I asked plenty of quentions about myself and my job this matter I belive is one of the most important. Everything is frozen...she told me to live my Life.

56.4 is what i ve received. This hexagram is unluckily rappresenting my life well... Don t belive there is something I can do but maybe it could help someone alse. I ve everything but I feel powerless and alone..

Apologize for my terrible English.. I am trying my best.

 

[Trojina]

Hi obiobi your query was posted at the end of someone else's old thread and so I have made this new thread just for your query. It's best to start a new thread for your questions as people tend to read the first post in a thread and answer that.

There's a button on the right upper corner of the Shared readings page that says 'post thread' and that will start a new thread for you.

Sorry you feel powerless and alone but it may help to remember however alone you feel you are never really alone you are always in touch with Life, with God, with Spirit, that cannot be taken from you. As well as consulting Yi have you prayed about this or whatever your equivalent of prayer is? I'm sorry for how pious that sounds it's just I believe it is important for us to remember we are connected to the Source of all things and so we can not be destroyed because a person we need rejects us.

Your question was

I asked to Yi how could I manage the anger I feel for my sister.

There must be or have been a reason you feel anger with her. Emotions are there to guide us to what is good and bad for us like our taste buds are there to warn of what is poisonous to us. So it's a good idea to really look at why you are angry and of course when there is good reason, if your sister is harmful to you, then it doesn't serve you to simply try to override those feelings because you don't want to feel alone.

I find Yi's answer, 56.4>52 quite off the point really, an unexpected answer. It doesn't seem to be talking about feelings of anger at all but feelings of dissatisfaction.

'Wanderer in a shelter,
Gains property and an axe.
My heart is not glad.'

Yi is showing you as a traveller, someone not at home where they are, someone on the move, someone who is heading somewhere else. This can be a picture of one's own life as well as current circumstances. Line 4 shows you have found a place to be where things are okay, you have what you need to get by, you have a certain amount of security but you aren't happy. The suggestion is that yu aren't happy because you have forgotten that where you are now is just a shelter, it's not home but you may think it is.

It can be that there is no choice but to stay in current circumstances for the time being but it is important not to forget this is not the end of the road, you are still a traveller. You will become sad when you forget that and think that this is all there is and all there can be.

What does this have to do with your anger towards your sister? It's very interesting you got this answer when she told you to 'live my life'

Everything is frozen...she told me to live my Life.

Although I imagine that was hurtful to you it's echoing this answer in a way. I wonder if your relationship needs this time and space and distance to heal or to change. She is aware of that on some level and so is almost pushing you out there. It's like you have a journey to make and so you can't stay there hoping to make things work when you need to get moving, take that journey either literally or just by expanding your life, exploring other areas of life.

The change patterns are 16 and 9 and so there is a tension in the question perhaps between an ideal of how this relationship 'should' be (16) and the day to day work of daily living that's not built around ideals but what needs doing next(9). (You do not need to use change patterns in readings it's just an extra dimension I like to look at)


I think the reading advises you not to think about this problem with your sister as if it were a forever thing, just let it be for the moment and try to turn your attention to the journeys and explorations, however small, in your own life. Eventually this may refresh or renew perspectives on both sides.

This cast isn't saying anything about trying to energetically transform the relationship, it's not saying anything judgmental about your anger either it's talking about you and where you are in your life. It acknowledges how 'frozen' you feel, how stuck...

The situation is really bad and however I asked plenty of quentions about myself and my job this matter I belive is one of the most important. Everything is frozen...she told me to live my Life.

.....and it describes you as being like a traveller who reached a safe place with a means to make some kind of living but who isn't happy and they aren't happy because they are are essentially travellers in enforced stillness (52, relating hexagram).

Don't despair about your sister, I know it is hard not to see your nephews at this time but it may not be forever. You could keep on sending cards and gifts on their birthdays and so on, so they are all aware that on your side you are interested in them. But meantime turn your attention to your own feelings of being stuck. In what ways could you free your life up just a little bit?

I'm feeling perhaps you sister needs to see you having your own life away from her, maybe you both need that kind of distance and there's probably a good reason for that. If you both grew up with difficult parents for example it may have ruined your relationship if you were pitted against one another or your family circumstances did not help your relationship. It doesn't look to me like you can just put this all right at this time. Yi is turning your attention away from that onto your own life. Try to worry a bit less about your sister, after all there are many years ahead for you both and things change. For now focus on how you can change that feeling of being stuck or trapped in your life, that seems the most important thing and in some way it can impact on your relationship with your sister.



Another thought; if she is 13 years older than you I wonder if at some point she was something like a mother to you when your mother was not available? If so that might account for what's going on. She may be rejecting that role since she is not your mother and it's not her fault your own mother was not adequate and so she wants you to grow separate from her. That's just guess work on my part but the age gap seems quite significant, she's bound to be the 'big sister' here and at some point you may have expected her to be mum? I could be way off there, it's just a thought about why she was telling you to 'live your life'. You may be angry partly because she is not giving you the care really your mum should have given you? You have to see the relationship in the context of the whole family which is where your relationship developed. Problems in that family will be evident in this relationship with both of you playing roles you maybe shouldn't have had to play. I just wonder if when you were a child she was looking after you at times when your mum was not around? It would also account for why you feel so alone for she is not just a sibling but also has had the role of parent? So if she turns away from you it might be a bit like a mother turning away from you and if you didn't have adequate mothering in the first place you'd feel the abandonment more.