Keep getting Hex 26!

[blu7]

I recently separated from my partner. The reasons were primarily due to their childhood trauma and associated fears about parenting. I have a young daughter with a donor - so no father is in the picture - and my partner was extremely worried they would be unsuited to parenting and sharing me with my child. We love each other greatly, but this was an impasse for me. Two weeks ago I decided to stop speaking to them, as it was too painful to try to stay friends. Ultimately, I know that for them to face themselves and their fears, I need to let them do it on their own. It's been very hard, as we were very in love.

So I have taken to querying the I Ching each day based on another member's (wonderful!) suggestion I'd read on the forums. In the morning I ask: "Please provide me with my principle of right action for today." Then at the end of the day, I again query the I Ching: "Please grade my performance based upon the principle of right action." This method has provided me a lot of insight during this time, not only about my relationship, but about life in general.

I admit, I forgot to ask to be graded the first few days - I def see the value now of definitely doing it! - but I'll include the earlier "Right Action" readings in case they are illuminative. Ultimately, what impressed me the most was the grading I've received the past few days, but here goes:

Wednesday:
Right Action: 22

Thursday:
Right Action: 10.2.6 to 17

Friday:
Right Action: 31.2 to 28

Saturday:
Right Action: 3.1 to 8
My grade: 11.6 to 26

Sunday:
Right Action: 2 unchanging
My grade: 26.1.6 to 46

I take the repeated 26 in my grading to mean that while I am remaining constant, I still need to be reminded of what I need to continue to focus on - preparing myself and mastering my own life path.

That said, I was a bit confused that I received 26.1.6 to 46 as a grade. This seemed like advice, more than a grade. So I put it down for the night and then woke up this morning and queried the I Ching for clarity on previous night's grade - what would be the outcome of taking some other action than silence with my partner? I was really surprised to see the following:

Monday:
26.1.3.6 to 7

Wow! Again 26, with an additional moving line in the third place this time:

'A fine horse for pursuit.
Constancy in hardship bears fruit.
Daily training, chariot driving, protecting.
Fruitful to have a direction to go.'

Seems I need to be training for a marathon! So, I have received 26 three times in a row this week, often in the form of my "grade" for the day. Perhaps someone here can advise on that "Grading" aspect. However, ultimately, I believe this is confirming that I must focus on myself - that I must stay still, like a mountain, at least with my partner, and prepare myself vigorously for my own life path.

Just in case, I thought it would be further illuminating to query further just to clarify all outcomes and also asked, "What will be the result if I continue to stay silent unless my former partner reaches out to me?" and the result was:

52.2.3 to 59

Another wow... the I Ching ceases to amaze me. I feel I am being told to continue on my chosen path without my partner and keep to myself, and that to focus on myself and "center my inner authority on my spiritual home." This is the gradual progress needed, and while it is difficult to go through this slow change, it will bring about my "success" spiritually.

I admit that this "Controlled Power" - the power of Silence and Holding Firm - is a life lesson that I really am well overdue for and have really been meditating on and actively seeking to learn over the last 6 months. I don't know that these readings tell me much about how my partner will or won't fit into that, but open to hearing any and all interpretations. I thought a lot about marrying this person someday, but perhaps I need now to focus on marrying my Tao! Grateful to any members for their further insight :bows:

Blu

 

[Hans_K]

Hi Blu7,
Because H26 occurs in different configurations, as a related hexagram and with different moving lines, it is difficult to say anything specific about it.
In general, based on the text of the Judgement, the Image and the different lines, you can say that H26 is about self-control, saving strength and preparing to take action.

H26 is Trigram Mountain (Keeping Still) above Heaven (the Creative).
Trigram Mountain here acts as a kind of lid through which the power of Heaven accumulates, so to speak.
Seen from the trigrams, H26 also shows a difference between the inner or inner attitude and the expression in the outer world. Outwardly, it is almost stoic, 'cool and collected', unwavering. Inwardly, it is powerful, an inner force that sets everything in motion, authority, everything to do with time, timing and rules.

The advice in the text of the Image says:

Thus the superior person gathers knowledge of
The words and deeds of the past,
In order to strengthen his character
And accumulate his virtue.

So, based on the above, you could say that H26 is also about preparing.

The nuclear hexagram of H26 is H54, the hexagram of adapting to new circumstances and crossing a boundary after which there is no turning back. It is about social adjustment, security and balance.
So to achieve this, it is necessary to accumulate inner strength/to master inner strength.
The text of the different lines indicate how to deal with the process of self-control and preparation for action.

These are some of my reflections on H26, hopefully they will be of use to you. As always, take what resonates and leave the rest

 

[blu7]

A belated thank you to Hans_K for this interpretation. This is an update, to give others a chance to see how this all turned out. Indeed, 26 resonates even more deeply for me now as I look back on this time. As an update, I very consciously took time to examine my own life this past year. I joined a practice that requires deep meditation, and takes a highly detailed account of ones own actions and words in order to develop the Self and ones own character, maturity and dignity. It has been a humbling experience.

In order to do this work, I had to diligently put the focus on myself, and avoid slipping into old behaviors that distracted me from this personal work. It was a huge time commitment, but it has been well worth it. I have learned so much. I am not entirely through this process yet (maybe I never will be!) but it has been incredibly rewarding thus far.

I see now the importance of taking my time, and of detachment regarding my former partner. It was very necessary for me to understand that I can continue to love this person and be open to all future possibilities, without also engaging with them and aiming for a particular outcome.

Taking my time, and allowing my partner the dignity of their own journey on their own timeline, was essential. It gave me the space I needed to work on myself and let my partner do the same, without a ticking clock in the background. This was a difficult practice, as both of us are in the more mature half of our lifetimes, and I am not the most patient person.

Meantime, I have continued to read the I Ching every day to ask for right guidance and to grade my daily performance according to the principals of right action. Regarding my ex partner, the Yi consistently tells me to continue my inner work and strengthen my character, and to not pursue communication with my ex yet. This doesn't mean I always listen! Twice, I have had the opportunity to speak to my ex-partner since this reading occurred, and on each occasion, the timing was not yet correct to do so but I had to see it to believe it and ignored the Yi.

I now truly trust the Yi to guide me on right timing. Today, with an opportunity to speak presented again, I received hexagram 5.1.5 to 46. "Nourishment While Waiting" indicates to me that, though the opportunity is there, this still isn't the right time. This other person has their own work to do, but more importantly, so do I - I'm not done. The waiting is about me putting the focus on myself and nourish my own growth - not about waiting to speak to my ex. If I can diligently develop my own character, in the end, there will be an advancement of some kind for the better for me - whether on my own or not. I just need to trust. Hope this helps someone else