Lesson 31.3 to 45

[lizzy]

It's once again a relationship question, but this time I just want to know what lesson comes from all of it. In short, I reconnected with a guy online (he was looking for me for a quarter of a century). But now he's married with kids and there seems to be no future for us.

I think that the sudden meeting was so unusual and our mutual response so powerful, that I just want to know why on earth did this happen to me.

My question was:

What is the lesson in my situation with X?

And the answer:

31.3 to 45 Hsien / Mutual Influence (Attraction) -> Ts'ui / Gathering Together (Massing)

Thank you for your insight!

 

[pocossin]

What is the lesson in my situation with X?
31.3 > 45

Memories endure irrespective of time, or old friends are the best friends. 31.3 is not positive for a development of this reconnection. Could your family and his meet sometime?

 

[lizzy]

Thank you for your answer! I already broke up the correspondence, so I know that it's not a good idea to follow him, which I understand 31.3 is about. I'm asking about it because I just want to know what the entire meeting was about. What lesson there's for me in it?

I understand 31 as such, because our meeting appeared to be very creative and it turned out we could do many things together, including projects for work etc. We have many things in common, similar values, interests and talents. So there was a lot of mutual inspiration. We also very quickly reached out to each other, responding to our mutual desires. I don't mean sex, more like life ambitions, secret dreams etc.

So 45 might work because we could do many great things together, but I don't see how it's going to work when 31.3 says I shouldn't follow him and I already broke up the connection.

No, our families know nothing about us. We met once, long before we had families, and none of us told anything to others now. The only way for them to meet would be for us to reconnect once more and become official. Rather unlikely, I think.

Any ideas?

 

[answeredquestions]

Hi Lizzy,

What is the lesson?:
Your lesson lies in emotional influence (31.3). The way in which you are influenced by emotions, specifically with this particular relationship, holds a lesson for you. This is a broad subject and only you know the details of this primal reaction. Somewhere along the line, you will/or have already learned this, or at least this lesson is available for you to learn, if you choose.

Hexagram 45 is where the lesson blossoms out of. The same goes for your question to the Yi. You are pondering how meeting him has affected you, the two of you coming together and the affect it has on yourself. You are asking about the lesson you will/or have learned from the two of you coming together. The mini lesson in 45 is to undertake something, and to see the great man, which I feel is also where you are coming from. You are on the right track with wondering the relationship's meaning and what you can learn from it. It is a very good thing to wonder about the affects of the things we interact with and that are around us. Take care -AQ.

ps. I am sorry if I said the same thing over and over in this post, just in different ways. Sometimes this is just how my mind works. It's just how it processes things.

 

[lizzy]

Thanks, AQ!

Don't worry about repeating the same thing several times. Sometimes it helps me to process the answer when it's put this way.

Indeed, emotions are one of the things I've been wondering about lately. The last time I was in love was in my early twenties. I'm much older today and my feelings seem different too. I think that, in a way, I learnt a new way of loving someone, a more mature one, and I like it. I don't know though if it's a universal feeling or something I can feel for this one man only. I guess time will tell.

 

[answeredquestions]

Maybe the lesson can be applied from here on out, with every relationship (big or small). The possibilities are vast and all up to you how to practice and actually use the lesson. And I am glad you felt love.. one of the many emotions life's relationship's can be seasoned with.

Love is superior, love is the glue, lifting illusions, like "I am me" and "you are you".
-Courtney

 

[lizzy]

Yes, we'll see. I do hope for a more fulfilling relationship in the near future.

 

[mirian]

Dear Lizzy,

I think that the Yi is saying that even though you have not been in love for such a long time your feelings and emotions are still very powerful when you really connect with someone. You somehow want to jump with both feet but then are forced to hold back (in this case it was the fact the he has got a family, but it could have been something else, including your own fears and reactions). The way I see it, the lesson is how to handle powerful feelings/emotions, knowing when you need to keep them under control or rather embrace them by finding some balance within you.

Hope it helps. Good luck.

 

[lizzy]

Thank you, Mirian!

Those were always my fears that had held me back. The irony is that this one time I didn't fear and did jump with both feet. It didn't end well, which is sad because I don't want to always fear love.

 

[mirian]

Dear Lizzy,
The good news is the Yi is not saying that you have to fear love Rather, it is showing how you are deeply affected by powerful feelings/emotions (both Hex 31 & 45) but this emotional intensity is there for you to handle. They do not have to be overpowering and not necessarily something to be afraid of. So, also the same emotions are a source of creativity and inspiration when you make good use of them. And, as you said in your post, Hex 45 works well to put people together with similar views, values, etc... Your reading is giving you some really nice points to work in your favour when it comes to relationships.

Bless you.