Letting go and readiness 38.1>64

[goddessliss]

So after much wondering and looking at self and looking at g and creating a friendship rather than an intimate relationship for close to 4 months in the hope it would return to intimacy, and yesterday finally getting some counselling on the relationship - I finally thought we could sort things out so we could make a go of our relationship sorting out the issues between us.
When I asked g about sorting things so we could create a happy, health relationship he said ''I don't want a relationship with you' when I asked him why he said "I don't know, I just don't, do I need a reason?"

So although I am hurt I am not devastated but I would like to know How ready am I to attract a healthy, loving relationship - Hex 38.1>64

Oh - do not run in pursuit, one returns of it's own accord. Not sure what this means - g made it perfectly clear he is NOT interested.

thks be joyous Liss

 

[foxx777]

If he is not interested, so be it. H38 is Opposition: Estrangement between people.

Line 1 is usually rendered, "If one loses one's horse, do not chase after it; it will return on its own". Wilhelm takes this to mean that leaving matters to the other person will allow him to think, and return on his own. ( G may rethink things, think twice???)

Berkers says of this line, "The lost horse did not run away by itself again. The other person does not want to be with you, and he is not wrong. Try and see why." This altogether different interpretation (as in all of Berkers) absolutely floored and stunned me, as I have related to a man who keeps running away, and it seems Berkers' rendition places the blame on yours truly!

The relating hexagram 64 is "Before Completion" so there are some steps to take- work on oneself is implied. Perhaps you pushed for intimacy before he was ready? I only say this because I do this; it may not be true of you in this case, or at all.:bows:

 

[goddessliss]

Berkers says of this line, "The lost horse did not run away by itself again. The other person does not want to be with you, and he is not wrong. Try and see why." This altogether different interpretation (as in all of Berkers) absolutely floored and stunned me, as I have related to a man who keeps running away, and it seems Berkers' rendition places the blame on yours truly!

Hmmm.....interesting, He is not wrong - well I guess he only knows in himself why - but I think he has a fear of deep committment and intimacy due to his upbringing etc. although I hoped we could get past that but if he is not open to it then he is not. Although it is interesting that we can spend weeks together almost 24/7 so what's the difference really - anyway.....

The relating hexagram 64 is "Before Completion" so there are some steps to take- work on oneself is implied. Perhaps you pushed for intimacy before he was ready? I only say this because I do this; it may not be true of you in this case, or at all.:bows:

Well in reality he was open to the intimacy which he initiated within hours of us meeting but not with an open heart, so after a time I stopped the intimacy because I just can't do the physical on it's own. And now he shys away from the intimacy altogether...although he seemingly gets jealous if another man even just puts his arm around me.
The steps I am taking at the moment are doing an art therapy course which is for women (only) who have been 'victims' of abuse and I hoping I will learn more about myself and what patterns I need to change. Perhaps by the time I have finished the course I will no longer have an interest in g. I am still sad about it though, maybe the return is just about returning to myself after the emotaional upheaval I feel at his rejection of the relationship. - Liss

 

[foxx777]

Well, it sounds to me as though he has problems with intimacy, or is one of those men who will resist, for the sake of resisting.

Yes, take care of yourself, because all too often we women will knock ourselves out trying to unlock the mystery of a man who is in reality merely enjoying the game of frustrating us.

From long experience I would not be a bit surprised if G comes back once you have moved beyond needing or wanting him: He will want you precisely because you have moved beyond him. Best of luck. Here's waiting for the lost horse to return on its own.

 

[long yi]

Hexagram 38: there is differences in the long term goal between you and him. Dissimilar personalities will lead to departure.

Hexagram 64: the other person needs time to think and decide.

Six-line hexagram analysis
起卦时间：2012年05月28日05时13分
起卦农历：壬辰年闰四月初八日卯时
神煞：天乙—子申　福星—未　日禄—午　羊刃—巳　驿马—亥　桃花—午　华盖—丑
干支：壬辰年　乙巳月　己丑日　丁卯时
旬空：午未　　寅卯　　午未　　戌亥


六神　 伏神 　　　艮宫：火泽睽　　　　　　　　　　离宫：火水未济
　　　　　　　　　【本　卦】　　　　　　　　　　　【变　卦】
勾陈　　　　　　　▅▅▅▅▅　父母己巳火　　　　　▅▅▅▅▅　父母己巳火　应
朱雀　妻财丙子水　▅▅　▅▅　兄弟己未土　　　　　▅▅　▅▅　兄弟己未土　　
青龙　　　　　　　▅▅▅▅▅　子孙己酉金　世　　　▅▅▅▅▅　子孙己酉金　　
玄武　　　　　　　▅▅　▅▅　兄弟丁丑土　　　　　▅▅　▅▅　父母戊午火　世
白虎　　　　　　　▅▅▅▅▅　官鬼丁卯木　　　　　▅▅▅▅▅　兄弟戊辰土　　
滕蛇　　　　　　　▅▅▅▅▅　父母丁巳火　应○→　▅▅　▅▅　官鬼戊寅木　

Both parties do not have common goals. The man is moving on to search for his career matters. This relationship will not easily result in marriage or common law relationship. If two get married, there will be very difficult times initially.

The reading pointed to ending of this relationship in Nov 4- Dec 3 2012. The querent (female) will not compromise. The man is exiting at this time. He will be gone before the end of this year.

Plum Flower Iching theory: hexagram 64
用克體，不可成，成亦有害
In English, this means the relationship will not resulted in marriage. Even the two get married, there is future trouble.

 

[goddessliss]

Thankyou for your interest and interpretation Long yi

Hexagram 38: there is differences in the long term goal between you and him. Dissimilar personalities will lead to departure.

My long term goal in regard to this relationship is to have a happy and healthy interaction - does he not want that? Dissimilar personalities - yes we are different but isn't that part of the idea of two people coming together. We both respect each others different takes on things, it helps us learn - a lot.

Hexagram 64: the other person needs time to think and decide.
Interesting today we hung out (nothing different in that really) and he was more respectful than normal and also a little affectionate
Both parties do not have common goals. The man is moving on to search for his career matters.
Doubt if he is after a career but he does have different goals but then don't we all. I am studying to be a teacher and he is building a house.

This relationship will not easily result in marriage or common law relationship. If two get married, there will be very difficult times initially.

Certainly noone has talked about marriagE that for sure - ***** the relationship hasn't even got off the ground yet.

However having said all this my actual question was How ready am I to attract a healthy, loving relationship and I definitely did not have him in mind as he has said no!!!

The reading pointed to ending of this relationship in Nov 4- Dec 3 2012. The querent (female) will not compromise. The man is exiting at this time. He will be gone before the end of this year.
Lets hope I don't hang in there that long if I do at all, that would be ridiculous to say the least - the only bit right here, maybe, would be yes I will not compromise my values to have a less than healthy, loving relationship with someone who has an open heart at least that is my plan here. Hopefully my present work on relationships will hold me in good steed to do this.

Thankyou for your support foxx777 the sistahood rocks

 

[foxx777]

Thankyou for your interest and interpretation Long yi



Thankyou for your support foxx777 the sistahood rocks

:bows: