Line of doom

[youngmaid]

Hello everyone,

I asked if I was going to achieve my life goals this year (getting my fiction published) and my professional goals (becoming a better editor one day, right now I'm an assistant) this year. I drew 29.4.6 > 6. Great: "Danger" and "Conflict". How auspicious! Now I'm terrified.

I always think that the I Ching is an augury, but I think it might be interpreting my internal conflict and its manifestation in my daily affairs.

I love/hate my current job right now. I work part time, can barely afford to get by. I work for a tiny company, two man team. I work 18 hours per week. In recent months, I've had the opportunity to go to major book fairs, pitch a book idea of mine, create a sales presentation, talk to head honchos in the industry: all sorts of really expansive goodness! I turned down an offer for another job (one I was headhunted for) in December to stick with the company I work for now, because I loved my bosses so much and I knew that if I skipped out on them, they would be screwed without me. But, I can't really grow in my company. They give me loads of responsibility, but, they don't have enough money to offer me more hours. They don't have enough money to give me a raise or subsidize further training. I'm on just above minimum wage for a really complex, highly skilled job that is really demanding and stressful.

The monster project unleashed in December; it's a complex web of confusion. The book was in a horrific state, it was going nowhere fast. Anyway, I wasn't really qualified for it, but my bosses gave me a lot of responsibility; they left me and a newly appointed project editor to sort out the mess. I was iffy about whether I could do it at first, but after lots of caution and lots of inner cultivation and lots of straight up hard work, I did it! I got all the content! I'm doing a good job getting the book to where it needs to go! But my bosses are querulous, constantly nit-picking, telling me "I need to prioritize", saying cutting things, getting short with me. That is totally pissing me off! I'm doing the best I can! I really am! But the sick thing about it is, that I'm getting results, the book is now almost done and it's lookin' good!

I've got a job interview this coming Friday for my dream job at a dream company: a major, world-renowned publisher. And, guess what, it's part time! It will fill in those extra two days that I desperately need!

What makes this even more complex is that I'm foreign. I live in Europe but I'm American. My mom really misses me (she's still in the States) and like, I feel this inner conflict because I'm going after my dreams and she's all wasting away alone at home. I'm 25 and I'm all about carpe diem right now, I want to rage it! But I also feel like I'm an evil person for going after what I want. I really think that I can make it though, I'm getting there!

Compounding all of this guilt is the line of doom: the sixth changing line in hexagram 29.

Bear in mind that in recent weeks my professional opportunities have flourished: I've gotten three job interviews (dream job for dream company, part time fits right into my schedule; the other for a very picky recruitment agency that specializes in publishing; the last for a writer/researcher position for another publisher), I've submitted my fiction to two literary competitions and, my recent castings related to my career have been generally really nice and supportive: hexagram 1 unchanging, 4.1.2.3 > 22 and 17 unchanging.

Oh gosh I give up. What does this all mean?

Thanks for listening to me

 

[tigerintheboat]

Stuck Inside of Conflict with the Chasm Blues Again

I asked if I was going to achieve my life goals this year (getting my fiction published) and my professional goals (becoming a better editor one day, right now I'm an assistant) this year. I drew 29.4.6 > 6. Great: "Danger" and "Conflict".

It is terrific that you provided all this detail, as it makes all of our jobs much easier making sense of the reading.

Now, first, you asked a Yes/No question, if you would achieve your goals. And you listed two different kinds of goals, which could certainly be in conflict. So it may pay you to think about refining the question(s), after getting some help here.

As best as Yi could answer you, it says "You (and your goals, probably) are in Conflict. You are in a Chasm, and you must resolve the Conflict for your situation in the Chasm to change."

Why do I think that? Well you are obviously young and learning and able to interview and present yourself, so you should not be down in the pit in Line 4 in the first place. But apparently you are in the Pit.

My guess is that you have tied yourself in knots over your current job. You have to leave and you want to leave, yet you feel loyalty and conflict, so you stay where you are. And it seems, both from your description and the reading, that you can't achieve your goals by staying were you are.

It pains me to say it, as an employer myself, but you must better yourself, find something where you are paid better, and move your career on, while it is still possible. Right now there are jobs and you are marketable; in a year everything could be different. You need to move on.

I believe the fact that you have received Line 4 means you are connected to the outside world and receiving help. You are interviewing; these interviews are the life line being thrust down into the pit in Line 4.

If I had to guess, I would say that Line 6 indicates that your current position does not offer realistic hope of achieving your goals. You will be bound there for years, according to the line, and you will not achieve what you want. Find something, give your bosses notice, and move on. Although they may be disappointed, they will deal with it because they have no choice. They will find someone else.

One more thing. If you think you stand a fair chance of finding another job, and you think you are really valuable in your current slot, I would have a heart to heart talk with your bosses and tell them you are probably going to leave, primarily over money. You just can't make it on what they are paying you, and you are seeing opportunities out there and you have to investigate them. Don't ask for a raise; just present this as a matter of fact. Tell them you will give them as much notice as possible.

What are their choices for how to respond? They can fire you on the spot, which is very unlikely, and which proves that you are over-estimating your value. They can do nothing, which proves that they will and can replace you when the time comes; that is your cue to move on as soon as possible. Or they can offer you inducements to stay, in which case you are better off and can still leave, if the right opportunity presents itself.

But in any case, take the help being offered and get out, if you want to achieve your professional goals.

Tiger

 

[willowfox]

I asked if I was going to achieve my life goals this year (getting my fiction published) and my professional goals (becoming a better editor one day, right now I'm an assistant) this year. I drew 29.4.6 > 6

No, you will not achieve your goals(or at least very few of them) this year, it will be quite a while before those goals are finally realized as there is much to be sorted out still and anyway you are laying the ground work still so don't be put off as all good things come to those who are patient.

 

[youngmaid]

My guess is that you have tied yourself in knots over your current job. You have to leave and you want to leave, yet you feel loyalty and conflict, so you stay where you are. And it seems, both from your description and the reading, that you can't achieve your goals by staying were you are.

It pains me to say it, as an employer myself, but you must better yourself, find something where you are paid better, and move your career on, while it is still possible. Right now there are jobs and you are marketable; in a year everything could be different. You need to move on.

But in any case, take the help being offered and get out, if you want to achieve your professional goals.

Tiger

Wow Tiger, your reading is incredible. It just elucidated all of the elusive inner turmoil that I couldn't interpret myself. I really appreciate you taking the time out to help me. When I cast those hexagrams yesterday, I thought that they were auguries of doom and failure in relation to my initial question, but after really considering my life as a whole, I realize that all my anxiety is really related to my current job situation. You're right: I am conflicted about leaving because I feel indebted/guilty about it, but the reality of the situation is that I can't grow there. The I Ching was clearly telling me to get out or be bound there for years. I've got to move on. I've got these opportunities and I've got to take them if they're offered.

I'm prepping hard for this job interview for the dream job on Friday and I hope I get it!

Tiger, really, thank you so much for your wisdom. I feel more fresh and more confident than ever. I will try my best. Wish me luck! Have a lovely day

 

[youngmaid]

I asked if I was going to achieve my life goals this year (getting my fiction published) and my professional goals (becoming a better editor one day, right now I'm an assistant) this year. I drew 29.4.6 > 6

No, you will not achieve your goals(or at least very few of them) this year, it will be quite a while before those goals are finally realized as there is much to be sorted out still and anyway you are laying the ground work still so don't be put off as all good things come to those who are patient.

Thanks Willowfox. That's hard to swallow! It definitely sucks. But I will keep trying! I'll just focus on the groundwork.

 

[meng]

Compounding all of this guilt is the line of doom: the sixth changing line in hexagram 29.

Couple comments. First, don't let 29.6 worry you. From here it just looks like your current state of having your hands tied while trying to do the best you can with what you've got to work with.

I also wouldn't worry about 6, as it also just points to what you're already feeling about it all. 6 is a good thing when it's needed. It's what makes you break away from the packs and think things through, while making your case clear to yourself. Helps to sort things out.

Try on the idea of 22 being life or chi itself, and how to manage it or let it guide you. Life fully.

I think your focus for your future is found more within "hexagram 1 unchanging, 4.1.2.3 > 22 and 17 unchanging." Allow the creative aspect of universe (call it what you wish) to guide you through this process, telling you what you need to know, when you need to know it. Be smart, but also enjoy the adventure and opportunities. This is an important part of your life's story. Don't be too anxious or greedy, but do use your head.

About the guilt for not being able to be at two places at the same time, that's something to reckon with best as you can, but I wouldn't let it determine your future.

:bows: good luck