Loaning or giving money to a sick friend

[lisaford2]

I have a good friend who is in way a boyfriend but not quite yet. He had serious back surgery and cannot do anything for 3 months.He is a tennis coach and so will not earn any money until he is well. I wanted to offer him a loan or gift as I know he has a lot of expenses-child support, helping his parents, and other obligations. My question for the I Ching was 'What will happen if I offer him some help with money?" I drew 46.3 changing to 7. Any comments? Thanks a lot.

 

[rosada]

Hexagram 46.3

 

[rosada]

Hexagram 46.3
"Pushing upward into an empty city."
This line would make me question whether your contribution would actually be of help. Interesting that your friend is carrying so many heavy responsibilities and now he is having back trouble. By lifting some of the weight you may be helping him or you may simply be delaying his realizing that he has to renegotiate some of his agreements because he can't do it all himself. If that is the case, if he hasn't recognized the more esoteric reason why he has created this drama, he may accept your offer but then some new burden will fall on him until he finally figures out why it is he keeps manifesting these scenarios - but meanwhile you are out a chunk of dough.
Or perhaps 46.3 means you make an offer and he doesn't accept it.

Either way this line doesn't seem to give reassurance to go forward. Perhaps you would get clearer guidance asking, "How can I best help my friend?"

Incidentally, I have found that if you are going to loan money to someone it is best to have them ask you for the loan rather than you just offering it. So rather than saying, "I'd like to loan you x-amount of dollars" say, "If I can help you with a loan please don't hesitate to ask." The difference is that when you offer money the friend may or may not have a plan for it and the money can easily slip away. But when you tell them to ask, then they think about it very carefully and the money will more likely be put to good use. Also, if you just offer there is feeling that you are giving a gift and you may not get it back - in which case you would do better to simply give them the money as a gift and not have the weirdness of a debt between friends. But if you tell them they can ask for a loan then they will consider if they really need the money and will also come up with a specific plan for how they will repay you and thus it's less likely to create hidden expectations and frustrations.

I hope your friend heals quickly!
Rosada

 

[lisaford2]

Thank you

Hexagram 46.3

What great advice. I have thought about it some more. Think I will ask the I Ching what am I do to help my friend as you suggested. Maybe money is not best. And if i do give him some money I will make it a gift. Not a loan. He will not be able to pay me back. Also thanks for your well wishes.