Long Divination. Need advice on inquires soon, please.

[raceecho]

Hello everyone, long time no see

I haven't been here in a long while. I took a break from divination because I felt I was relying to heavily on it to judge the decisions I was making day to day. Recently however I have consulted again, because I have a tremendous wave of feelings crashing around inside.

I'll try and make this not so long, so as not to take up so much of your time, so here it is.

I don't know if I've ever mentioned it here, but I met someone close to 2 years ago. This person created a monumental change in my life, for good and worse, depending on the experience. When it comes down to it though, I love her, unconditionally.

We've had some major ups and down, on again off again over these two years. We were doing so good at the beginning of February, and it seemed like things were finally starting to fall into place, that we may be heading towards something more permanent than what we had previously. That seems to have changed though, out of nowhere.

She has anxiety issues, like me, but her's were bad the past 2 months or so, bad enough to where she's passed out from them. I don't know if it had to do with me, work, or just life in general, but it seems like it created a divide between us, and undid the steps we've taken forward. I cannot in words describe the pain I am in at the moment, so I'll spare you.

She messaged me last week after a two weeks of really not speaking. I wasn't exactly in the mood. I didn't say anything to offend her, but maybe I came off as rude, I don't know. I messaged her the next day and told her that, and that she caught me off guard because of how things have been the past two months. I told her that I didn't even expect to hear from her again (and I didn't), and that I thought she didn't want to see me anymore, but didn't have the heart to tell me. She never responded, and it's been 9 days. 9 of the longest in a while.


I don't know what I am supposed to do. I don't feel like I should message her again because I feel like I'd just be bothering her, but at the same time I could use some closure at the very least, I don't think that is asking for much considering our past.


I asked 2 questions. Don't really know how to interpret. Don't know if the Yi was having a laugh with me or what.

1. Why can't I get over this? - 31 unchanging
2. What do I need to do to get over this? - 37.5 > 22

I don't really know how to interpret those answers. I know the lines well enough, but in the state of mind I am in can't really connect them to the questions. I don't even know if I should be trying to get over this, if this is some storm passing, or if this is the end, cause it doesn't feel like the end. The night before she messaged me, I had a dream about her, where we were together, happy. I had the same waves of feelings I am having now. I know to some it sounds silly, but I feel like only half these are mine, and wherever she is, her heart is aching too, and that saddens me even more. Don't know if that has any relevance to the answers I received.

I really need sound advice on this one. Thank you.

 

[ginnie]

1. Why can't I get over this? - 31 unchanging

You can't get over this because you're wide open to her.

2. What do I need to do to get over this? - 37.5 > 22

I think you should tell her that you love her unconditionally, just as you said to us. That means you would be willing to hang in there with her as she works on her anxiety issues. Maybe she needs to see a psychotherapist or could use some cognitive therapy -- whatever it takes. I think that when people are anxious, they need reassurances primarily. All my best to you as you work this out.

 

[raceecho]

Do you think being wide open to her is a good thing? I mean whether it is or it isn't, that isn't something I'd want to change. I've always had a open heart to her, and I think anything less would only signify that I fear something, that I feel I need to guard myself, and I don't feel like that regardless of the pain I am going through at the moment. What did you mean "open to her" by the way? Like in context.

Like I said earlier, I do feel the need to contact her and let her know how I am feeling, but at times I feel like she doesn't want to hear from me. She does this sometimes, stays silent for two weeks saying nothing, shutting down. I feel like the last message I sent, she might have taken it the wrong way. I don't need her to be my partner, even though I love the idea. What I'd rather have is to know that she's okay, and happy, because that's what I really do want for her.

I asked what would be the outcome if I made contact. I got 49.3 >17. The lines read that moving on brings misfortune, though I am not sure whether it means misfortune to me or her. The line says too that perseverance brings danger, and I guess that lines speaks to me, that I'd have my heart on the line no matter what course of action I take. The lines about revolution being spoken of three times though, I don't understand those. Ideas?

 

[ginnie]

What did you mean "open to her" by the way? Like in context.

I mean that you feel open-hearted towards her, but it's hard to state a literal meaning for some ideas in the I Ching. Hex 31 to me means that you are sensitized to her, and anything to do with her affects you almost physically. When people become sensitized to each other the result can be either pleasurable or painful -- or both. For example, I get hex 31 when I have a toothache! I think that conveys the idea of sensitization . . .

The lines about revolution being spoken of three times though, I don't understand those. Ideas?

To speak with her would be a change. When you have discussed the change a number of times with others, then you might go ahead with a better result. It doesn't say why but rather gives the idea that what is involved is a longer-term process than you may have anticipated.

 

[raceecho]

I understand what you mean by being sensitized, that is definitely the case. I don't think I've ever been able to be completely open with anyone like I was with her, not even with the best friend I grew up with throughout my teens. I feel like she's the only one who understand who and what I am, and even more, doesn't judge me for it. She's on and then she's off. She tells me how rare it is to find a guy like me, but then turns around and does things like this. I don't really understand that I guess.

I sent the message when I felt the time was right, but no word back yet. I know I'll here from her, my intuition is strong on that, but when I can't really say. I think you can feel when something is over, and this just doesn't feel that way. Do you know what I mean? I've been able to tell in the past when the right time to let go was, but I haven't felt that yet. Even at our worst times (and this is far from the worst), I knew deep down I'd hear from her again, and so far, my intuition has been spot on.

 

[ginnie]

She's on and then she's off. She tells me how rare it is to find a guy like me, but then turns around and does things like this. I don't really understand that I guess.

She's not consistent. Oh, well, nobody's perfect. We all have our inconsistencies.