Loss and Grief 58>49

[becalm]

I've been friends with this person for nearly 30 years but in the last 3 years it's been very up and down, mostly down.
A couple of years ago we had a fall out as their behaviour towards me was pretty intolerable but we seemed to have patched it up even more so at the end of last year and I thought we'd moved on and we'd become as close as we once were for a long time.

Today they rang me and said some quite nasty uncalled for things so I've decided to just move on from them. Period. The last time we had a fall out I tried to ask them what had happened for them to be so nasty and they made some excuse and I decided to let it go but I'm not doing that again. It does make me incredibly sad as it really is a loss of such a long term friendship despite the last couple of years and I know I will grieve but I really feel it's for the better, for me.

Please show me how to cope with the loss - Hex 58.2.3>49

It's a funny hexagram to get as it shows Joy although Line 3 suggests to just move on from them....

Hex 49 Radical Change is definitely what I'm trying to accomplish in my life this year on all levels.

 

[Trojina]

Sorry that was an accidental like done on my phone and I don't know how to undo it. Musr ask about this as its potentially very embarrassing.


Re your query I will respond shortly.

 

[becalm]

Sorry that was an accidental like done on my phone and I don't know how to undo it. Musr ask about this as its potentially very embarrassing.


Re your query I will respond shortly.

Don't be embarrassed it happens all the time on social media due to the phone screen being so small and 'touch sensitive'.

 

[Trojina]

I just removed it but don't know how.

Please show me how to cope with the loss - Hex 58.2.3>49

It's a funny hexagram to get as it shows Joy although Line 3 suggests to just move on from them....

But I and many others have found 58 can show up as easily for a row as for a joyful exchange. I have been really surprised to see 58 in the most unlikely setting. There can be as much exchange in spiteful words as in friendly exchange sometimes.

'Sincere and confident communication, good fortune.
Regrets vanish.' (58.2 wiki)
'Coming opening, pitfall.'(58.3 wiki)

This isn't 12, it's not like there is just nothing between you, there is ongoing exchange between you but the whole thing is in process of being remade and I've often found 49 happens within the disappearance that is necessary for the connection to be remade into something quite different. Line 3 is a caution I think to be wary of anything that looks too good, that seems to hold promise. It's a caution against looking forward.

You asked

Please show me how to cope with the loss - Hex 58.2.3>49

I don't think it is a total loss more like it vanishes to transform. But of course we don't know the timeline of that. You might for example reconnect in a good way in 20 years time but that is still going to feel like a total loss now. or it might be much sooner Line 3 makes me think you could easily be drawn back in at this point but if you are keep hold of your reservations.

 

[becalm]

Thank you Trojina I appreciate you responding. It’s actually helped a lot to see it from that perspective because it definitely needs a major transformation to become a healthy and honest relationship. It used to be once and then for some reason it just changed. It’s made me very sad but I’m comfortable to just leave it for the changes to take place on their own and I won’t be accepting any form of communication anytime soon.
We all have our breaking point and I’ve reached mine.