PO Box 6945,
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).
I'm not sure I understand this, but I think your saying that we aren't agreeing on something? We do have different backgrounds, he had a rough life, been a bad boy etc when he was younger- and mine a sheltered one- miss goody two shoes- spiritual etc yes I am definetly missing something- thats the feeling I have like I'm not quite seeing the full picture here, perhaps we will get more insights.21.2 to 38: you are trying to solve the situation but missing an aspect of it. 38 says to me that you come into this from very different points of view, there's only a small place where you can see eye to eye . .
Yes, I needed to set the boundaries I believe & I'm trying to stay open & flexable in my approach, he will always be important to me, I understand how this ties with the resulting hexagram now of inner truth- thanks for this insight.60.6 to 61: you've set the limitations you needed but don't be too absolute in keeping them just for the sake of them, you've said already that deep down he still is important to you; keep this in mind
Yes i agree with this, I'm thinking perhaps I'm just wasting my time, maybe its just too difficult. Yet its Come so far, maybe calling it quits is for the best.as a sidenote, friends-lovers-friends situations always makes for a lot of shaky ground to my experience . . some issues may never be resolved for good.
Well you may feel you made a fool out of yourself but he isn't really behaving so cleverly is he..or rather he could behave better in that he could return your call now that you have rung several times. Could be he is being very careful about what he says or doesn't know what to say (28.1) because he wants distance but perhaps it would be better if he could be a little more direct and not leave you hanging and wondering. Not that I'm in any position to judge him..but it is very hard when someone just doesn't return calls, it leaves one with all sorts of feelings, not sure what to think, its easier for the one who doesn't call back because they don't have to explain, harder for the one who is left not knowing, very painful. But in time you may well know. Your 42>6 answer suggests a compromise of some kind is really necessary for the condition of increase (42) and that may mean not pressing your case now, not calling him. I think your priority now is your own peace of mind. Wilhlem says in the Image in 28 "The lake rises above the trees:...Thus the superior man, when he stands alone, Is unconcerned, And if he has to renounce the world, He is undaunted" So i think this acknowledges what an extreme this situation places you in emotionally, and it will help you to recognise that, to treat yourself almost as if you were injured, to move away from that place of over burden and injury in your own mind. Let him do as he pleases for now, its you you need to take care of right nowThanks trojan, you have come in with the voice of reason & sanity I just sent him a message saying how I was feeling- distressed, that I couldn't survive without him etc. my humour has gone out of the window. Now I've made a fool of myself. I am a true friend. I hope I haven't made it worse now my intial feeling was to do just that wait. I've gone off on a tangent about willowfoxes opinion as my worst fear was that trust has been broken between us oh dear. When your overwhelmed you take a time out- which is my usual approach now i've made things worse, i'm usually so careful.
Well, the person who wrote the above statement just disagrees with every answer that I give lately, not that I care but it only serves to confuse the querent. Last time she said my answers were to sweet pandering to the dreams of the querent, today she says my answers are too harsh, upsetting the querent. Are none of my answers ever right for her?I certainly would not see 28.1 as suggesting he finds you untrustworthy , that is just one 'readers' view.
My general impression including the 28.1 is that he may want to change the pace or terms of the friendship...that doesn't mean you did anything wrong, friendships do run their course...
Thats just not true, many answers you give I would agree with. Its not a personal vendetta Willowfox I genuinely have concerns sometimes over the degree of certainty with which you tell querants what their friends and lovers are thinking, when you lay blame at their door...and it worries me very much when they appear to believe you, as if you knew and they end up feeling awful when they were already in a fairly distressed state. As for critisizing you for 'sweet pandering' again its not about me setting out to be spiteful to you, it really is genuine concern that you raise peoples hopes with such certainty... a certainty i don't think anyone has. I know its unavoidable to make certain statements that raise or deny hope in our interpretations I just think we have to bear in mind we don't know how the person is on the other end of this communication...what if you promise x that y will call or come back and he never does, then that is even more painful for them than it would have been isn't it ?Well, the person who wrote the above statement just disagrees with every answer that I give lately, not that I care but it only serves to confuse the querent. Last time she said my answers were to sweet pandering to the dreams of the querent, today she says my answers are too harsh, upsetting the querent. Are none of my answers ever right for her?
Now, go look for yourself at line 28.1, it is all about caution and certainly not about "changing the pace or terms of the relationship" at all. Now, ask yourself why he needs to be so very cautious about this relationship? As it takes two to make a relationship work then the problem in his head lies with you. Relationships work because people trust each other, they have to, but here the relationship is broken because the trust is gone.
Nobody needs to block me anymore, you have achieved your deepest desire to get rid of me, as I am now totally fed up with the whole show. In actual fact I am disgusted by the way that some of you have acted towards me.Thank you for staying on!
To Bamboo,In these past 5 months I’ve rang him twice and sent a couple of texts and had no replies
Another maggot crawls out of the wood work!Everybody is guilty, but Willowfox. Can anyone doubt it?
The Yijing says: Water on the mountain.Thus the superior man turns his attention to himself and molds his character.
But not everyone is a noble one, I guess.
PO Box 6945,
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).