"Love is brief: forgetting lasts so long"

[cris]

So wrote Pablo Neruda in Poem 20. It applies perfectly to my case, as I'm apparently still struggling to get over the very short relationship I shared a few readings about a couple of weeks ago.

The interpretation of those readings was discussed on here and left some aspects open, however I was reluctant to ask the Yi again as the overall message appeared quite clear, at least about the current status of the relationship (I'm no longer in touch with this person). I only gave in to the temptation to consult the Yi on this subject again once, to receive a response consistent with the previous ones and hence not requiring any additional insight.

Needless to say the thought keeps coming back. In addition, I have been invited by a friend to consider a different view of this situation. As a result, I have recurred again to my wise guide with the following questions. When I started I was not intending to ask a few, I just followed my impulse after the first - I sincerely knew I could rely on the Yi's patience and gentleness with slow learners like me. I don't know if the questions were appropriate - they came out spontaneously, and I think their value lies really in the meaningful answers received.
I am adding my brief gut interpretation of the responses very vaguely based on Wilhelm's translation and some related threads on here. They will most likely be superficial and possibly mistaken... anyone's help in having them right will be as usual appreciated.

1. Dear Yi, please show me an image of my situation with x.
32.1 > 34
I guess I am being kindly "told off" for being stubborn in expecting duration from something which only had a hasty beginning and was soon over...

2. What are x's feelings for me now?
11.3,4 > 54
Looks like he is no longer resentful (Peace), maybe there is even some kind of affection, but 54 does not appear promising.

3. Did x ever have feelings for me?
6.2,4,5,6 > 2
Never received so many changing lines! To me this speaks of an inherent conflict, as in basic differences between our personalities, intentions and expectations of our relationship, inevitably resulting in mutual mistrust. Maybe hex 2 refers to some feelings on his side, although I tend to interpret this more as his desire for someone submissively accepting his ways.

4. Is there anything else I need to know about this situation with x?
59.0
Dissolving... The Yi couldn't have been more loud and clear. What a great hex for the final response!

As a side note, hexagrams 6 and 59 are recurring from the previous readings... as if they summed up the situation.

Thanks in advance for your precious insights :bows:
Cris

 

[willowfox]

1. Dear Yi, please show me an image of my situation with x.
32.1 > 34

The image of your situation is that you are free to do whatever you like(actually not sure what you mean?)

2. What are x's feelings for me now?
11.3,4 > 54

I would presume that he realizes now that he made a mistake by stupidly(for him), going off on a tangent, but understanding his own actions are different. Luckily for you, you saw how he acted before any serious commitment was made. His mind and heart seem to be on different pages.

3. Did x ever have feelings for me?
6.2,4,5,6 > 2

It seems to suggest that X had a very serious conflict going on in his head, and yes he liked you in some strange way, but he couldn't agree with himself as how to proceed.

4. Is there anything else I need to know about this situation with x?
59.0

It suggests that X has become very entrenched in his self made rut, and the anger has turn him to become more distance and stony.

 

[cris]

Hey WillowFox

thanks so much for your response! Your view on this matter has been enlightening, and I was looking forward to your interpretation of these new readings. I have a couple of comments / questions:

1. Dear Yi, please show me an image of my situation with x.
32.1 > 34

The image of your situation is that you are free to do whatever you like(actually not sure what you mean?) What I was asking for was a picture of the "situation", i.e. the (lack of) relationship between myself and this person as it stands now. What do you think the combination could suggest in this regard?

2. What are x's feelings for me now?
11.3,4 > 54

I would presume that he realizes now that he made a mistake by stupidly(for him), going off on a tangent, but understanding his own actions are different. I am not sure I am clear on this. Are you saying he made a mistake by starting the relationship at all or by changing attitude towards it, thus leading to me ending it? Luckily for you, you saw how he acted before any serious commitment was made. His mind and heart seem to be on different pages. This could be the conflict he has, as you mentioned in the other thread, and again below. Do you reckon it was his heart or his mind to be after our relationship?

3. Did x ever have feelings for me?
6.2,4,5,6 > 2

It seems to suggest that X had a very serious conflict going on in his head, and yes he liked you in some strange way, but he couldn't agree with himself as how to proceed.

4. Is there anything else I need to know about this situation with x?
59.0

It suggests that X has become very entrenched in his self made rut, and the anger has turn him to become more distance and stony. So I was completely off track in thinking hex 11 in response to his current feelings for me could indicate his anger has cooled down...

The anger and hardheartedness you mention appear to be an accurate translation of the recurring hexes 6 and 59... It looks like the months gone by since our last contact have not helped "dissolving" them, quite the reverse.

 

[patro]

hi cris you will not love my opinion... but it's just an opinion

32.1->34 means...
you want to much in one steps.... but is just not possible -> hold on...

11.3,4 > 54 means
at time there are many possibility... but still you will seen from.. as a second choice

6.2,4,5,6 > 2 means
definitively no... and any kind of feeling is passive... and this is not good!!

59 unchanging talk about separation...

well I'm sorry to don't give you any good news about!!!!
from what I read it seams that this person know all about your feeling for... and this put you in a hopeless situation!!!

so it's better to ask: how do I have to act with X to make it falling in love with me?

with this question you just pinpoint a future opportunity with x and also you get useful info about to do.

hope to help

 

[willowfox]

What I was asking for was a picture of the "situation", i.e. the (lack of) relationship between myself and this person as it stands now. What do you think the combination could suggest in this regard?

*****It suggests then that you need to resolve this issue quietly and calmly, so that you can eventually end this story forever, and finally still all those lingering doubts and thoughts. Don't force it, that will only suppress your thoughts for a while, see the situation clearly, then you can close it.

2. What are x's feelings for me now?
11.3,4 > 54

I am not sure I am clear on this. Are you saying he made a mistake by starting the relationship at all or by changing attitude towards it, thus leading to me ending it? This could be the conflict he has, as you mentioned in the other thread, and again below. Do you reckon it was his heart or his mind to be after our relationship?

*******When a person is conflicted, it is his mind that is playing the games. And no it was his developing attitude. This guys problem's seem set in stone, so any attempt at dispersion will leave you fed up.

 

[patro]

cris,
did you toss the coin asking what I suggested?

 

[ginnie]

1. Dear Yi, please show me an image of my situation with x.
32.1 > 34

You wanted forever-- instantly.

2. What are x's feelings for me now?
11.3,4 > 54

It was a voluntary relationship, but perhaps he felt it was not entirely of his choosing. With both lines 3 and 4 moving in H11, it looks like he's transitioning out of it.

3. Did x ever have feelings for me?
6.2,4,5,6 > 2
To me this speaks of an inherent conflict, as in basic differences between our personalities, intentions and expectations of our relationship, inevitably resulting in mutual mistrust.

I think you're right about that. Inherent conflicts.

4. Is there anything else I need to know about this situation with x?
59.0
Dissolving... The Yi couldn't have been more loud and clear.

The thing is, Cris, since you already have the benefit of Yi's insight, why would you want to persist in a relationship that is full of inherent conflicts? It would eat up your entire life to get things straightened out with this man -- if you ever could. Why would you want to make yourself miserable that way?

Bonding instantly without stepping back to evaluate what you've gotten yourself into is really not a good character trait. You need to become more discriminating. So much in our lives depends on forming relationships with like-minded people.

Let him go. Don't be mad at him and don't be afraid of anything. Let the sun shine in and melt the fog away. Chalk it up to experience. Next time, you'll need to find out more about the man before jumping in with both feet. Protect that tender heart of yours, Cris! Don't treat it like a basketball and toss it through the next hoop that comes your way!

 

[cris]

Thanks everyone for your contribution to this thread. I was away for a week, and although I logged in on and off and added a couple of posts, I really needed to take some time to let these readings settle inside of me to fully grasp their message.

WF,
I think it is happening already: I am naturally starting to see the situation clearly, retrospectively. I feel I am finally returning to myself, to the peace of mind I had before all this began, like predicted by Hex 24 in one of the first few readings casted on this matter. Even throughout the past few months, I always kept my rational view on this person and the short affair we had, but I couldn't help occasionally giving in to emotions and wondering what had gone wrong. Now life with its unstoppable flow is dragging me away (23, 59), and I want to believe it is the last goodbye.
(Just for the sake of sharing, astrology confirms his difficult nature: Mars on the Ascendant in Cancer square to Venus and Uranus, which are in opposition; Sun opposed to Neptune; Moon opposed to Jupiter... The aspects between his birth chart and mine also confirm the conflicts between us).

Patro,
your insight made me think of a quote from one of my favourite movies, "The Ignorant Fairies". When once again overwhelmed by her mother's brutally honest views about all the painful experiences the main character has gone through, the latter says to the former: "When I feel suicidal I will give you a call". Joking aside, I have a passion for the truth in all its ugliness, so I appreciated your interpretation. I believe you are right in saying he never had feelings for me, as I did nothing to cause his change of heart - quite the reverse in fact. So no, I have not asked the question you suggested: after all this time it would be completely anachronistic, and moreover if he did not fall in love despite our being together quite obviously this was not meant to be.

Ginnie,
I truly appreciated your passionate post The questions you ask, I have been asking myself all these months, reaching always the same objective answer: this is by no means the right guy from all possible standpoints. However, maybe you have not read my previous threads on the same relationship: far from jumping in with both feet, this person and I had been online friends for quite some time before getting closer. When we finally decided to meet I really thought I could trust him. Totally unexpectedly, he turned out to be a very different person in real life, which confused me enormously and lead me to end the relationship and also cut any communication later on. However, as I had really believed he had feelings for me, I have found it hard to understand - and accept - his sudden change. Now it's all coming together though - and as the picture is getting further away with the passing of time, the details become less important. Most probably my extended business trip was a way for Providence, or Sinchronicity, or Life, whatever we want to call it, to protect me from a potential disaster.
On one thing you are right, Ginnie: my heart indeed is tender, and even the most thorough discrimination will not prevent it from being bruised. I have however learnt so much from this experience, and as paradoxical as it may sound I am grateful to this person for (certainly unwillingly) teaching me.

These are the final verses of Poem 20:
"Though this is the last pain she will make me suffer,
and these are the last lines I will write for her".
Just like dear old Pablo, I believe time has come to close this book for good.

 

[ginnie]

(Just for the sake of sharing, astrology confirms his difficult nature: Mars on the Ascendant in Cancer square to Venus and Uranus, which are in opposition; Sun opposed to Neptune; Moon opposed to Jupiter... The aspects between his birth chart and mine also confirm the conflicts between us).

That was just so interesting about the astrology, Cris!

I didn't mean that you had jumped into the relationship without knowing him. I just meant that Internet friends can bring big surprises! Anyway, don't they say that Love is Blind?

 

[cris]

Oh yes Ginnie. If this forum was about astrology, there would be a lot to discuss relating to the synastry between our two natal charts. One could go so far as to say this was a karmic encounter. If it’s true, I must’ve been really bad in a past life!!

Internet friends… I’ve had great experiences with people met on the net, and awful ones with friends made “in reality”. Internet just offers further opportunities to make contact with people we might not normally have access to. Humans are humans… The guy in question was a phony - period. One of the many things this experience has taught me is to trust my intuition. Ever since we met on line, there has always been a little voice in me saying there was something wrong and I should steer clear of him – without any factual grounds. When we got closer, still as mere friends, I had a dream in which I saw him as a cheat, keeping up multiple intimate relationships. This dream disturbed me, but I finally decided it was just a reflection of my insecurity. I will never ignore my instincts again.

 

[meng]

So wrote Pablo Neruda in Poem 20. It applies perfectly to my case, as I'm apparently still struggling to get over the very short relationship I shared a few readings about a couple of weeks ago.

The interpretation of those readings was discussed on here and left some aspects open, however I was reluctant to ask the Yi again as the overall message appeared quite clear, at least about the current status of the relationship (I'm no longer in touch with this person). I only gave in to the temptation to consult the Yi on this subject again once, to receive a response consistent with the previous ones and hence not requiring any additional insight.

Needless to say the thought keeps coming back. In addition, I have been invited by a friend to consider a different view of this situation. As a result, I have recurred again to my wise guide with the following questions. When I started I was not intending to ask a few, I just followed my impulse after the first - I sincerely knew I could rely on the Yi's patience and gentleness with slow learners like me. I don't know if the questions were appropriate - they came out spontaneously, and I think their value lies really in the meaningful answers received.
I am adding my brief gut interpretation of the responses very vaguely based on Wilhelm's translation and some related threads on here. They will most likely be superficial and possibly mistaken... anyone's help in having them right will be as usual appreciated.

1. Dear Yi, please show me an image of my situation with x.
32.1 > 34
I guess I am being kindly "told off" for being stubborn in expecting duration from something which only had a hasty beginning and was soon over...

2. What are x's feelings for me now?
11.3,4 > 54
Looks like he is no longer resentful (Peace), maybe there is even some kind of affection, but 54 does not appear promising.

3. Did x ever have feelings for me?
6.2,4,5,6 > 2
Never received so many changing lines! To me this speaks of an inherent conflict, as in basic differences between our personalities, intentions and expectations of our relationship, inevitably resulting in mutual mistrust. Maybe hex 2 refers to some feelings on his side, although I tend to interpret this more as his desire for someone submissively accepting his ways.

4. Is there anything else I need to know about this situation with x?
59.0
Dissolving... The Yi couldn't have been more loud and clear. What a great hex for the final response!

As a side note, hexagrams 6 and 59 are recurring from the previous readings... as if they summed up the situation.

Thanks in advance for your precious insights :bows:
Cris

This whole sequence strikes me as saying, ease up on the throttle of trying to make this relationship a thing written in stone. It looks bound up in effort, which only restricts, or may even prohibit a natural development.

 

[cris]

Effort was certainly there during the short life this relationship had. It's been dead for months now, as in being completely out of touch, and these readings in my view have simply confirmed it. I cannot envision any chance of development. Remember Hex. 12 in the previous sequence? "Stranger to each other": a very accurate image of the present.

 

[meng]

closure's a good thing

But would you still be asking about it if it is closed? Your title seems pretty telling: "Love is brief: forgetting lasts so long" I believe that's what Yi is talking to: letting go and moving on, releasing it.

 

[cris]

Totally. The Yi has been a great guide to me in this situation. It's never been contradictory, but has always pointed in the same direction. As mentioned in the opening post, what hex better than 59 to end the sequence?

As a side note, I was googling about the Plum Blossom method the other day, and ended up on a website offering online readings based on this approach. I couldn't resist the temptation of a "test" reading and obviously asked about this guy (it's been my recurring thought in the past few months... that's why "forgetting lasts so long", as so well put by Neruda). I got 45.3 > 31.
"Gathering together amid sighs.
Nothing that would further.
Going is without blame".

Thank you my dear IC!

 

[ginnie]

I had a dream in which I saw him as a cheat

Dreams are divination, too.

If only I had always known to trust the messages given to me in dreams!!!